The Choices We Make
by foggybythebay
Summary: Desire is undeniable, but what of love? With imprinting a possibility, can Leah risk her heart on Embry? Another with mystical powers tries to steal her heart. Will Leah be strong enough to break a witch's ancient spell and still have her happy ending?
1. Ache

_Author's Note: Stephenie Meyers owns these characters, but the alternate universe I've created satisfies this Twilight reader. In this piece, I've picked up Leah's story from the Victoria-Cullen/Werewolf fight from my first fanfic: __Just One Kiss__. My thanks to** bratkaren **for her reworking of the story summary._

_

* * *

_

**Ache**

From the outer edges of the forest I watch the pack converge over Jake's broken body. Among them, so far away I can't make out her face, is the leech lover. The sound of her weeping, carries on the night wind, touching me. It is the sound of ultimate heartbreak. My own shattered heart reaches out to her as she climbs into the truck to hold Jake.

I absently wonder why she isn't following the undead into their lair.

_God, Jacob must be in bad shape if she isn't following the bloodsucker home after our recent victory. I hope Jake's not dying, _I despair, myself a coward, hidden under the cover of the forest. _That should have been me lying torn apart on the ground. _I find myself surprised by this sudden truth, buried deep in my psyche only to be unearthed as I watch my pack mate suffer the consequences of my reckless actions.

_Can I be that far gone over Sam and Emily? Is that what's become of me? How pathetic! Maybe, I AM too stupid to live._

I feel the cool breeze whip my shoulder-length, black hair around my face. The strands slap at my cheeks as if also trying to snap me out of _this_. I'm sick of feeling this way, sick of hating everyone and everything, including the word, _imprint_. I'm sick of myself. Just plain sick and tired.

They sure weren't kidding about heart break. The damn thing feels torn and tattered in this gaping hole in my chest.

I close my eyes, trying to shut off this feeling of misery and pain. My heart aches and I don't know for what anymore. I quake and shiver, not from cold, but from a deep sadness for what was and what I know never will be.

I wish my body was normal, that everything was back to normal, that someone, anyone would reach their arms around me and comfort me. Sam. Gone. My dad. Gone.

I gasp, choking, needing to, but nearly forgetting to breathe. I must stop this before insanity consumes me.

My overly-sensitive were-girl ears pick up a soft sound to my right. I take in a lungful of air. The coldness of it tears against my insides. I know from the scent whomever it is, he is wolf, not vamp. I open my eyes, suddenly aware of being far, far away from my hidey hole full of my clothes.

Feigning a comfort with my nudity that I do not feel, I dare to look into the blackness beside me, to find myself staring into warm, brown eyes, full of concern.

Only then do I use my arms to cover myself. He's in the underbrush. If seen together, we'd look like the Adam and Eve of the creation myth, the moment they'd discovered their nakedness.

Shy.

Ashamed.

"Go away," I say with all the quiet strength I can muster.

"Leah," he says, ignoring my demand.

"I said, get the hell away from me," I manage a bit of a shout.

I turn my back to him, holding my bare shoulders, arms crossed even more tightly, wishing he, or anyone, it didn't really matter, would step over this barrier I've erected around myself. I needed, wanted someone to just hold me, and make this unbearable ache go away.

I hear him quietly sigh.

"Get dressed, Leah, I'm taking you home." His tone leaves me no room for argument.

I feel a slight movement of wind against me, soft jersey grazes against my arm as I listen for the retreat of this boy, disguised in the body of a man. When I sense he's no longer near, I unwind my arms, reach down to the ground, and hastily pull on the overly large t-shirt.

Thankfully, there's nothing questionable emblazoned on it... just a message reading: goGreen. I roll my eyes,_ Sheesh, that is so Embry, _I think to myself. I leave my shelter in search of him. As I track him, I realize that despite feeling alone, and being perhaps the most hated member of the pack, for the second time tonight one of the guys thought enough to be on the lookout for me.

* * *

I reach the spot where the bikes had been parked. All are gone except for one. _Geeze, even my brother ditched me._ I hear the loud purring of the lone engine. I race over to where I'd hidden my clothes before I'd phased, and slide into my favorite pair of worn jeans. In a matter of a second, I decide to leave my shirt and underthings where they are for the next time I found myself in this part of the woods.

I jump as he guns the motor, calling me over without words. I rush over and hop onto the back of the bike. Astride the motorcycle, he turns to face me, slaps a helmet on my head, gives it one thunk with his flat palm, and turns again to grab hold of the handles.

I automatically wrap my arms around his solid, bare waist. I revel in the whipping wind, feeling its constant pressure moving against me. It feels almost as freeing as running like a wolf.


	2. A Little Bit of Tenderness

**A Little Bit of Tenderness**

The roar of the engine comes to an abrupt halt as Embry pulls into our driveway. The lights are all out. My mom must be over at Billy's. I find myself somewhat disappointed that she didn't think to wait for me, or at least leave the light on. I pull off the borrowed helmet and shake my head. I feel the soft, silky fall of my hair against the back of my neck.

Embry holds out his hand for the helmet as I silently offer it to him.

"Thanks, Embry," I say, finding my voice and discovering myself grateful that I'm not alone.

I feel his nearness, our mutual werewolf heat bouncing between our bodies. I look up into his face, one that's been in my mind before. Thanks to my unnatural ability to peer into my pack mates' darkest thoughts, I know many of his hidden secrets. I remember that his fantasies of me don't always circle around sex. The ones that did were unlike those of the rest. These innermost musings didn't make me cringe or curl my lip up in disgust. They were... slightly intriguing, I suppose, considering the roles he places himself in these dreams. But my grief blots his idle fantasies from my mind. The hazy awareness I have of them, however, offers me no bitchy response, or spiteful comment to leave him with beyond my spoken words of gratitude.

My silence, must be unnerving, since his body stiffens. It's a gesture used by so many around me lately, akin to pulling on armor, preparing themselves for my verbal assault. Instead, my gaze travels upward and I watch the soft parting of his full lips as he says with slight surprise, "No problem, Leah. Anytime."

I watch him move to go. Then, something within has me calling out, "Do you mind staying a minute?"

His back is to me now. He stops mid-step, as though trying to make up his mind. I move to sit on the front porch and wait. My eyes stare at the back of his heels. I see him do an about-face and watch him purposefully stride over to where I am. I feel more than see him take a seat next to me on the step below the one I'm sitting on. Yet, his shoulder is still higher than mine. His new manly form has always reminded me a little of a slightly taller, somewhat buffer Lou Diamond Phillips. I certainly like watching the old movie, La Bamba, just to watch _that_ particular actor.

Neither one of us talks. It's a companionable silence as we both gaze out above the tree-line where there is a full moon. It's magically surrounded by a halo, a beautiful, multi-colored rainbow ring.

I close my eyes against its beauty.

"It's my fault Jake's dying," I blurt out suddenly, breaking the night's silence. Embry remains silent, his elbows leaning against the step I sit one, he's still gazing out, waiting for me to continue. "I wanted that vampire to tear into me, to give me a real reason to feel all of this pain that I'm carrying around. I..."

I feel a gigantic bubble well up inside me and I stop, choking back a sob. I rub my palms back and forth on my thighs, trying to get a grip.

His eyes shift toward me, gentle. This look he gives me isn't one of pity. It's almost one of understanding. I can't stand it. I want to lash out at him, but find myself unable to do so. I draw in a ragged breath, close my eyes and hear his barely audible whisper caught by my supernatural hearing.

"Just cry, Leah."

I shake my head vigorously against his soft invitation. I haven't cried since Sam sat me down to tell me about Emily. I will not become a blubbering fool in front of one of the guys. I will not. My toughness is my moniker. Without it, I'm lost to this wave of unbearable emotion.

"I can't."

I steel myself against the throbbing, constant ache, crashing on me now, like the surf upon the shore. He seems to sense when I let loose the tight leash I have reigning in my pain. More importantly, he recognizes my need for someone, a non-judgmental soul to be with me as I let it lash out against me, unimpeded.

I feel him shift, uninvited, scooting closer, nearly touching. He carefully places an arm around my shoulder. A silent urge to reconsider. His strong, big hand cups my shoulder. Sensing I'm not up to resisting, he draws me close, leans me into him. I, too, am shocked by my unquestioning compliance as I curl myself against the solid, bare wall of his chest.

I feel him rub my upper arm as he makes a rough, purring sound. The comforting rumble emanates from deep within him. The sound makes me feel safe, somehow, and I feel the tears well up. My profile fits right under his chin, my cheek against his neck, my chin rests on his shoulder. I register the unexpected pleasure of this skin-to-skin contact. But, aside from the slight clench and quick release of his muscles at our first touch, Embry appears unmoved.

With this clear disinterest, I allow the teardrops to fall.

"It's alright, Leah, just let it out," his tender words are whispered into the night. A fitting sound to go along with my silent weeping.

* * *

_Should I continue? Or is this sufficient? Let me know!_


	3. Retail Therapy

**Retail Therapy**

**

* * *

**

I've avoided phasing for a week and a half now. I want my moment of weakness with Embry to stay a secret, though lord knows he's probably already unintentionally revealed all of it to the pack. The thought of that ranckles, but I'm hoping the guys will consider my crying jag so unbelieveable that they'll relegate it to one of Embry's other wanna-be hero fantasies that he has of me starring as the damsel-in-distress.

_As if,_ I snort to myself.

I'm lying on my back, on my twin-sized bed, repeatedly snapping my cellphone open and shut. I'm absorbing the great news Seth just delivered. It's good news about Jake, who, by proclamation of _the_ illustrious Dr. Dracula himself, will make a full recovery so long as he keeps from phasing and stays in bed for the next few weeks.

I'm relieved and a little _less_ disgusted with myself thanks to my brother's reassurances that Jake didn't come to any permanent harm from my moment of temporary insanity. It's just too bad Seth didn't catch me with the news _before_ I left for the mall. It would have saved me from continuing to put a serious dent in the meager amount of savings I've squirrelled away from my random jobs around the reservation.

Anyway, now with my dad gone, I doubt my mom wants me to go very far for school.

_So long dreams of leaving this place to pursue a real life_, I think with a pout. _Hello, new wardrobe!_

Shopping bags of various sizes surround me. I am comforted and secure in my colorful, paper fort, knowing within the confines of these odd-sized totes are dozens of brand new outfits ready for me to wear. With more than half my clothes hidden and scattered all over creation - well, actually just around LaPush and the surrounding wood - I feel better about the impact of my most recent shopping spree on my bank account. My temper has literally put a huge tear into my wardrobe and I'm pretty bitter about that since I am a fashion whore at heart. Thinking about my rapidly depleting closet has my thoughts wandering to my now equally pathetic shoe collection. All of my favorites are but bits and pieces all over the forest floor.

I idly wonder what the guys do about their shoe issues. Likely they just walk around barefoot. _Boys. _I curl my lip up in disgust. The mere thought of placing my newly pedicured feet on the rough ground has me scowling.

I sigh.

_Being a werewolf truly does suck_, I think, patting my flat tummy. _Though,_ _not having to workout to keep my body this toned is one perk._ I smile a rare smile, thinking of my new outfits and the sizes that I can now fit into._ Yes, a very nice perk._

I sit up and rifle through the nearest bag. I pull out my new Diva – !iT Jeans and a Nautica top. I wriggle into them and throw my candy-colored, striped Prada mini-tote on my arm. As I stride out the door, I fish my cellphone out from where I stashed it during my fashionista moment.

It's time to face the music.

I need to see Jake.

But not before I'm well-equipped with a peace offering.

I hit the button for Seth's number, swish my shoulder-length, dark hair over my shoulder to listen for his voice in the receiver, but he isn't picking up. As I scroll though my contact list searching for someone else to call, I neglect to watch where I'm going. Apparently, the solid wall of heat that I crash into isn't paying attention to what's in front of him either.

I feel strong hands grab my shoulders. _To steady me, or steady himself?_

I am so close that I hear the sound of a chuckle start in his chest.

"In a hurry?" the owner of the rock hard abs quieries. I look up.

_Crap_.

Embry.

And he hasn't let go yet. The feel of his hands on my bare arms remind me of our embrace the night of the battle. I watch his eyes darken and wonder if he's thinking about the same thing. I feel a warm blush steal its way up into my cheeks. I randomly recall that I still have his t-shirt, now laundered, neatly folded, and sitting on my dresser. For some reason I don't want to give it back, yet. I catch my stray thoughts and I pull myself out of his grasp in an attempt to appear nonchalant.

He seems amused, but he's bubbling with excitement and doesn't really notice my discomfort at his nearness.

"Jake's going to get better!" he says, the expression on his face exuberant. "He'll be fine, Leah!" He looks poised to pick me up and swing me in a wide arc.

I sink back, out of reach.

"Yeah, I heard," I hear myself say in what might be mistaken as a sardonic tone. The bitterness, however, is only there because I simply am not looking forward to my inevitable visit with Jake.

I watch a confused look find its way onto Embry's face as he straightens and regains some of his normal stoicism. I am appalled by the power of my voice, strong enough to wipe the joy from his handsome features.

I, however, don't feel I owe him an explanation for what seems like my rude reply to such welcome news. So, I don't offer him one. I shrug, half to myself. Then I suddenly realize that he might just be the guy to answer the question I have about Jake.

I force a more congenial voice from my throat, "Actually, I was on my way to get him a 'Get Well' gift. I think, maybe you can help me?" I shift my weight onto one leg and place a hand on my hip. I feel my purse swing from my wrist like a pendulum, hitting my thigh at a regular rhythm as I await his reply.

He seems a little unnerved that I would think of doing something so kind, but he clears his throat and asks warily, "Sure, what do you need?"

I offer him a weak smile, "Do you know what kind of shoes are Jake's favorite?" I wait a heartbeat and add, "The more expensive the better."

At my little qualification, Embry laughs. It's only a scoff, really, but the rich, deep sound is truly lovely for me to hear. I haven't made anyone laugh in a long time and I'd forgotten how satisfying something so simple could be.

It is a joke, after all, an inside joke we werewolves share. A were's shoes last only as long as we can remain calm. The more expensive the shoe, the more incentive not to get angry, particularly when wearing them. The more expensive the pair, the more painful the parting between owner and footwear. It is an extreme challenge to keep such shoes in good working order. Such a gift sends a message to Jake not to get too pissed at me for what I'd done - or rather, not done - in the heat of battle.

I also don't mind dropping so much cash because I'm almost sure he'd gotten a glimpse of what I hadn't realized I'd intended to do to myself during the moment he caught me facing Victoria. I'm hoping my generosity might sway him to keep his fat trap shut about _that_ ugly truth.

"Worried he's mad?" Embry asks.

"In a word?" I say, cocking an eyebrow at him. "Yes."

Embry's smile displays a straight row of white teeth. His eyes honestly echo the amused up-tilt of his lips. "And you think an expensive pair of Pumas will help him keep his cool?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of Diesel," I reply tartly. "I don't like him enough to get him Pumas."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We sit in my car in his driveway, the shopping bag with Jake's new shoes has a place on the backseat.

I'm drumming my fingers against the curve of the steering wheel, while Embry, I think, is staring at my coral pink toenails, well-framed in my, still protected from harm, sandals.

He clears his throat and I swing my gaze over to meet his.

"Um. Leah, it was fun shopping with you."

"You don't sound like you're so sure about that," I say suspiciously, my fingers unconsciously gripping the wheel.

"Well, my feet aren't so happy about having been squeezed into every man shoe in sight," he says with an obvious downturn at the mouth. "It's not even as if those shoes are for me!"

"Jealous?" I ask, surprised at my own teasing tone.

I watch, shocked, as his copper-kissed skin takes on a slightly darker hue along his high cheekbones.

He swiftly turns away.

So do I.

I hear him ask, facing the window still, "Do you want me to come with you over to Jake's?"

"No!" I snap out the word, instantly regretting the haste and surprising vehemence in my reply.

The resulting silence is heavy.

Neither one of us seems willing to turn and look at the other.

Suddenly, I feel his hot fingertips against my hand.

I move just enough to look down at his strong, dark fingers, feeling his gentle touch on my skin. My eyes skim up his well-muscled arm. My entire being stills. My eyes continue their climb up his well-defined body, stopping to find myself staring up into his rich brown eyes.

_Do I detect desire there?_

My heart leaps into my throat. My breathing quickens as Embry says something quietly, his eyes searching mine.

"You don't have to be so alone, Leah."

I can't bear to see the kindness in his eyes, am unable to find it within me to fully comprehend what he's offering. His words linger, blocking out the very air I need to breathe in to survive.

He seems to finally realize I am not going to answer. I regret to feel his heated touch slide away.

The passenger-side door opens, letting the summer sounds and cool air into the car's overly warm interior. He closes it quietly.

Only when he's gone do I finally find the strength to inhale and the courage to turn and watch him trudge up to his front door.

I find myself disappointed that not once does he turn back to wave goodbye.


	4. Hell or Glory

**Hell or Glory**

_POV: Embry_

* * *

I relish the reverberating slam of the door behind me. The doorframe is still in one piece. Of this I am annoyed, but thankful since I don't have to explain my extraordinary strength to my already suspicious mom.

I'd been able to feel the weight of Leah's gaze after I clicked the car door shut. I know she watched me as I climbed up the steps, into the house, and out of her sight.

I'm selfish enough to admit that I wanted her to stop me, just like she did the other night when she showed me some of her vulnerability.

It pleased me that out of all the guys, she allowed me to see her that way. It couldn't have been easy for her.

And that's the thing of it.

She called out to me once before. Why didn't she do the same today, just now?

_Just say something. _

_Anything_.

I clench my teeth, silently vowing to myself that I will not beg for her attention.

_I will not be _that_ guy. I won't fall into the fatal friendship trap, never to be thought of anything more._

_That will not happen._

Not with _her_.

No.

Not with _her_.

But, she'd had me at her beck and call today. Doing what? Trying on damn shoes _for Jake_, that's what. And doing _that_ for nearly two and a half hours!! I didn't even say anything when she put down $300 for my friend, my possible half-brother, who seems to attract the choicest set of females no matter what he does.

Oh, how I wish _she_ didn't get under my skin. Of course, of all people to be interested in, I would have to pick _Leah Clearwater_. Not the smartest choice since she's the ex-girlfriend of pack Alpha, Sam, another possible half-brother.

Why must I always make things harder for myself? Why can't I be attracted to the pretty girl who makes shy eye-contact with me in my Algebra 2 class? Oh no, not me... I have to be smitten with the notorious, most hated member of the pack_, Leah Clearwater_. Why is it that I am morbidly drawn to _her_ - this broken, twisted, yet godawful beautiful girl -_ Leah Clearwater_?

_I despise myself. Truly. Truly... despise myself._

I grunt a rude hello to my mother in the kitchen who casts me a curious look, but goes on doing whatever she's doing in there. I'm only mildly curious, hoping that if she's cooking, she'll make quadruple helpings because I'm ravenous.

I stomp to my room, launch myself on the bed, and wonder if Jake will be the one to eventually win the prize of Leah. I have a foreboding feeling that the friendship he and I are rebuilding will undergo even more tests before we can be as close as we once were before we became pack brothers.

_I guess my life could be worse,_ I think, my lips twisting. _I could have imprinted on a 2-year-old, like Quil._ I let out a loud, guffaw as I think of _that_ moment again.

_Oh, yes, it could be worse!_

_Poor Quil. _

_Hmmm, Quil, yet another possible half-brother. I don't know which one of them is my relation, but I'll find out, one of these days._

I pull on my headphones, blast the music, and blare away my thoughts. My iPod's on shuffle, so it takes me a minute to recognize the song. It's a stupid one..._ just like my equally stupid day_.

I tap my bare foot to the music. The homemade quilt, soft under my roughened toes.

I run my hand through my short, cropped hair, longing for the length of it to return. Then I slam my head into my worn pillow. _Twice_. I idly think that maybe I should do something to get rid of this nervous energy, but probably not before I take a few moments to find calm.

I might hurt myself bad if I get on a bike now.

Another song comes on, "She's My Winona," by Fall Out Boy. Lying on my bed, trying to control the heat of my annoyance, I let the loud rhythm wash over me. The song's chorus runs through my head:

_Hell or Glory, I don't want anything in between._

Yeah, I think, as I find myself soothed by the rhythmic beat in my ear.

_Hell or Glory._

_ I don't want anything in between._

* * *

_**Author's Note**__: For those of you who've read my other fanfic, I'll soon be stealing liberally from_ Just One Kiss_ to interweave the stories together.... This is just an FYI, in case you think you're experiencing an especially strong case of déjà vu during the next few chapters. ;)_


	5. Lightening the Load

**Lightening the Load

* * *

**

I run my fingers through my brand new pixie cut, enjoying the feel of my fingers forming soft, disheveled spikes around the crown of my head.

After leaving Embry's place and somewhere during that short drive between his place and mine, I decided that if I was going to have to live the life of a wolf, then, damn if I was going to run around like a shaggy dog. So, I took a quick detour to my recently introduced, very talented hair dresser.

To her surprise and admittedly, mine, I'd marched right in and demanded she "cut it all off."

Now, not ten minutes later, with the weight of my mane on the hair salon floor, I truly feel a lighter load on my shoulders. I roll down the window wondering why I hadn't just cut it all off months ago... My lips scrunch. I know why, I didn't. The truth of it is, Sam liked my hair long. That's why. I'd been trying to preserve other things too, I realize, in the hopes that he'd return.

I take my sweet time driving home, listing in my mind all the Sam-related items that I'm going to get rid of as soon as I...

Go visit Jake.

_Ugh_.

But, I need to go change my clothes. Which, if truth be told, is yet another excuse to procrastinate and not do what I intended to do about three hours ago. That's when dumb Embry showed up, offered to help me shop, and then unexpectedly went all romance novel hero on me. Then, I, just like the dumbass heroine, wanted to fall into his arms so he _could_ rescue me.

_Stupid_.

_Stupid!_

Now I'm pissed at Embry for being _that_ guy.

I really don't need what he can give me, or _want_ it, especially NOT with a werewolf who hasn't imprinted yet!

Embry needs to just stop thinking he can help me. No one can help me, not really. The sooner he can get that through his thick skull, the better off we'll both be.

I get home and paw through my hot-pink Betsey Johnson shopping bag for my very own version of a power suit. I need the extra shot of courage wherever I can get it. I'm zipping on a flared skirt, buttoning up my new blouse, and am thinking how you can't beat the slide of expensive material against your skin to give a girl that extra oomph.

I climb back into my car and start my slow crawl toward the Black house.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I am standing on the Black's front porch, the gift of his new shoes in my hand. I'm building up the nerve to go ask for forgiveness, not something I do easily or lightly. As I'm thinking about turning to leave, my wolf-girl super hearing picks up a distinctly female voice coming from inside the distinctly male Black residence. I know none of Jake's sisters are in town, so it has to be that Bella girl.

What is _she_ doing here? Hadn't she done enough, already?

I feel a stir of anger come from deep in my belly and a low growl forms at my throat. If it wasn't for _her_, maybe those fucking Cullen bloodsuckers would have hightailed out of Forks. If it wasn't for _her_ that red-headed, psycho vamp would never have tried to kill me and Jake wouldn't still be recovering from those slashing wounds. I mean, if there weren't any vamps in the area, the reason for Sam to have turned and for me to freakishly join his goddamn, mind reading werewolf pack would be GONE. With Bella gone, I wouldn't be stuck in my personal version of hell.

As if it isn't humiliating enough to have to be around them as a normal, jilted, heartbroken ex-girlfriend. Now nearly available Quileute hunk of a man knows what an absolute morose bitch I am in my most secret, broken thoughts about Sam and my cousin, Emily. _I mean, really, What the hell do they expect me to be thinking?_

_Well_... I smirk to myself, it had been fairly shocking to find out that each one of them harbors a secret fantasy to be with me. I try not to think about Embry. The thought of him still irks me for whatever reason. What's equally disturbing is that I know, like no normal girl can know, just how messed up Sam is about _that_. In this case, and only in this case, I am eternally grateful to be in the know. But, I'm still indescribably frustrated that there is not a damn thing I can do about Sam's conflicting feelings about me.

I know it's a bad habit, this wallowing. I need to break it, but since I already opened the door to today's pity party, I'm happy to waltz right into the revelry, again. Besides, it isn't as if I'm in wolf form. No one can read my mind when I'm just a girl.

I'm still standing at the door, poised to knock. I straighten my skirt and adjust my top. I pause my fidgeting, thinking about all of the crazy shit I've had to deal with since my father's death. It's been one Shakespearean tragedy after another. Now, I'm in this outrageously fucked up situation and the only person in the pack who even remotely seems to understand, or at least did, is the guy in there who just a week ago, thanks to me, was on his deathbed.

And now, Jake, the jerkwad, is with the very girl who put all of our lives on the line without a second thought to any of our safety. I watch my hand quiver as I struggle for control. I know I need some serious anger management classes, or something, real soon. I turn my thoughts to worrying about my new outfit and my angry shimmering stops.

_OK, get it together, Leah, _I pep talk myself._ Just go in, say sorry, give him the damn shoes and walk out. That's all._

I heave a sigh and knock on the door.

The door is pulled open, not by Billy, but by the girl.

She'd been in my mind before. The sound of her heartbreak, still fresh in my mind.

In real life, she is so little, so fragile. Her long, wavy, dark hair is twisted into an untidy, loose bun. Her skin is so light. Yet even with her striking looks, she is still so clearly in need of a fashion makeover. There's something about her that I instantly like, despite my desperate desire to throw her into the next town for causing someone like Jake the kind of heartbreak that is nearly humanly impossible to bear.

"Hello?" she eyes me cautiously, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you know me. Well, I know Charlie," I sigh inwardly at my stumbling. Outwardly, I scowl and force back some of the anger that has me tripping over my words. "Anyway I'm Leah, Leah Clearwater. Sue's daughter. I need to see Jake." I am being purposely gruff, not wanting to form any sort of friendly attachment with this leech lover.

Her eyes widen at my tone. I'm not sure what to make of her expression.

"Oh! Sure," she says in an overly bright voice, "I'm sure he'd like to see you." Her voice wavers a little, hinting that she definitely thought otherwise. She opens the door wider to allow me entrance, anyway.

I slide in, purposely not making eye contact or engaging in conversation.

Just need to see Jake...

give him the damn shoes

and get out.


	6. Splintering

**Splintering**

_POV: Leah  
warning: coarse language

* * *

_

I make my way to Jake's room. Vampire girl seems horrified that I know where it is without her help. That's amusing, but irritating, since I basically grew up in the Black house with all of Billy's girls as my surrogate sisters.

_What's her name, again? Bella? I think, right? _

Well, _she_ steps in the room behind me. I'm annoyed and wish her gone, but am more angered by the mask of supreme smugness that Jake has perfected to a T. He looks too much like Sam and not the happy go-lucky guy I knew and played with growing up.

"Knock it off, Jake," I grumble. "I came here to apologize. With a peace offering, even."

I dangle the new designer shoes, tied together at the laces, from my manicured fingertip. I hope it's enticing to him.

His eyes follow my hand movement, but his face still looks hard and unforgiving.

"Are you even going to talk, you stubborn ass?!" I am abhorred that there is a small squeak in my voice.

"What do you want me to say, Leah?" He snarls at me. "Oh, it's OK that you wanted to be a damn hotshot and put all of us in deadly jeopardy while you're off trying to prove yourself? Or trying to accomplish something worse?! You're pathetic."

"I'm NOT trying to prove anything!" I hiss loudly. I feel the veins in my neck pulse red hot as I shout my half-truth, "I thought I could take her!"

"Sure. Sure. It really looked like you had her there. From where I was standing, the leech was ready to make her death pounce on you. You could've been killed! "

"That's not true." I believe wholeheartedly that my voice at this moment doesn't quiver, and that I that I indeed manage to hide my disappointment at not being vanquished that night.

"Really, or are you going to be in denial about THIS, too?" Jake's voice is raised. It seems he's ready to punch all of my buttons."You were almost killed," he's shouting now. "I _saw_ your death wish. I SAW IT flash in my head. Is that what you want? Because I sure as hell didn't want to die. You nearly killed me with your morbid, maverick maneuver."

"I'm sorry, OK?" I'm shaking in both fear and fury. Fear that what he's saying is true. Fury that he let this girl in on one of my most shameful, darkest thoughts. All I can do to lash out against the unwanted swirl of emotions is to roar, "FUCK YOU, Jake! Even though I'm sorry that you're the one who got hurt, you don't know what my life is like!"

"Oh, hell, yes, I do," he growls, tapping the side of his head. "And it's not a pretty picture, girlie-wolf. Get over yourself already. It's not like you're the only one who's ever felt this way!"

At his use of girlie-wolf, which I now have come to think of as a serious epithet, all I'm able to see in front of me is red. Blood red. This combination of bone-deep frustration and despair overwhelms me as I do something previously unthinkable. I find I am able to control my phasing shimmer because of that touch of sadness hidden within the anger. All the same, I seem to watch in slow motion from above as I forcefully launch the shoes in my hand toward Jake's bed. They fly faster than any bird, landing only inches away from his forehead, splintering the oak headboard.

"You're such an asshole, Jake!" I find myself screaming, in the throws of a temper tantrum I barely saw coming. I am still wondrous at my ability to keep from phasing. I must really, really love my new outfit.

Our angry, ragged breathing fills the room, along with our shared, shocked silence.

"You are sort of being an asshole, Jake," the girl, Bella, quietly interjects. In my heightened state, I'd forgotten she was even in the room. My eyes widen in surprise. Then I whip an infuriated glare at her for just being alive to have heard this private argument. She appears surprised at the new attention. She holds both of her hands up, pleading peace.

I watch Jake start a tell-tale shimmer and I know I have to leave if I don't want to make matters worse. Vampire girl is suddenly at my side, guiding me out. I don't want Jake to risk re-injuring himself with a sudden phase, so I follow her. I'm somewhat aghast at the force by which I'd thrown the shoes at Jake. I sit at the kitchen table and watch the girl reach into the fridge and pour a glass of lemonade.

I run my fingers through my hair, shocked to find it short. I'd forgotten what I'd done only a hour ago, and now regret having cut it. I recognize cool moisture at my fingertips from the condensation forming on the side of my glass as I trace unconscious whorls around in it.

To my supreme mortification, I feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. I impatiently brush them away hoping this girl,_ I really have got to start calling her Bella_, hadn't spotted them.

"You know," I say, forcing myself to use her god-given name. "Bella, I wasn't born a compassionless shrew. I used to be nice before all this shit hit the fan."

She seemed surprised to hear her name fall from my lips, and takes this an invitation to pour herself a glass and sit across from me at the table.

"So, are you with him? Jake, I mean," I spit out at her, unexpectedly curious.

"Yes, I am," she says, a wide smile splaying across her face.

I feel slightly nauseous.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I thought that bloodsu... um.. vampire guy was your one and only?" I say still wondering at her ability to go from her "one true love" as Jake's thoughts relayed to us in the pack and Jake, of all people.

_Seriously, Jake?!_

"Yes, I'm sure," she replies confidently, meeting my challenge. "I want to be with Jake. And, yeah, I thought that, too, about Edward, but ..." her voice trails off. she seems like it's taking some effort to keep whatever she was going to say inside of her.

"I bet I can guess,"I say sarcastically, saving her from having to form the complete thought. "This bloodsucker, Edwhatever, shattered you and all that love you had for him. Now, even if he does want you back, there's no way you can get to where you were before he left you. You've filled up all those empty places inside with my wolf-y pal on the sickbed?"

"Partly," Bella says with some patience. "Edward loved me in a way that no one else ever has or ever will. But I didn't fill the dead space he left me with... with Jake. The feelings I have for Jake overshadow what Edward and I had. My feelings for Jake don't negate what I have for Edward, or change them, for that matter."

"Look, I've loved and lost," I interject cynically. "I'm sure you know the whole sordid story about Sam, Emily, and me. I don't believe in love, vampire girl. It just disappoints." A horrifying thought crosses my mind as I look at her and the innocence on her face. I pause before continuing. "I mean, Bella, what if _you_ change your mind, again?" I feel a pained look cross my face as I hint at what I hope someone's already told her, "Or, what if _Jake_ changes _his_?"

_Imprint_ is what I mean.

There is a deafening silence between us.

It is interrupted by a bellow from the other room.

"Bella, is Leah still out there?"

"She's still here," she shouts back at him. I look warily at her and roll my eyes. She seems amused at my reaction.

"Hey, Leah!" Jake's voice is not muffled despite the walls that separate us. "Thanks for the fucking shoes."

Out of nowhere, a loud barking laugh surprises me. To my shock, I find the sound is mine, a laugh that shoots straight through me, right up from my toes.

"You're welcome, jerkface!" I shout back, utterly triumphant.

Bella looks at me stunned.

Before she can move, I pick up our glasses, place them in the sink, and find a soapy sponge.

"You're his _Sam_," I say, not meeting her gaze as I wash out the cups. "You're everything he wants.. .and for a time, he thought you were everything he couldn't have. If you leave to go back to that leech of yours, I don't think he or the pack could handle it, not a second time." I stop then, to stare at her, sending her a silent warning.

"I came here not liking you," I admit to her trying not to flinch. "I still, really don't want to, but now, I can't help but want to get to know you. I want to tell you stuff I barely want to admit to myself. I think maybe I feel this way because you are _here_. I don't know."

I shake my head trying to clear it. "Seeing you brings back my own disappointment," I admit reluctantly, "but seeing you also gives me... hope? Maybe. You're his... Sam." I eye her again. Then, I throw my arms out and continue wondrously, "and you are... _here_. You chose Jake, even though you believed your life was supposed to be with someone else." I stare at her and she returns it.

We say nothing.

I wipe my hands and move to go. Bella walks me up to the front door and stops. She stiffens suddenly as if steeling herself to say something important as she turns to me before sending me on my way.

"You know," she says, looking up at me. "Leah, I've been where you are. I had a Sam, too, in Edward. The only difference? He came back. I just couldn't go back. I've had loss, too. My grief at losing Edward was so immense. Too big, I think. So big that I wanted to die when I thought it was gone. It overshadowed everything! I didn't even notice how I felt about Jacob. I didn't really _see_ him until it was almost too late."

I don't hide my examination of her as she speaks. She hastens to meet my gaze and adds meaningfully, "Even without imprinting, people fall in love, a love so strong it seems unbreakable. Don't give up on it. I guess what I'm trying to say is... well... _you_ have a choice, too."

I stare at her as I feel something else break inside me when she speaks the words I hadn't realized I've been wishing to hear and and waiting for someone else to say.

"I'll be back soon," I say, pretending her words hadn't affected me. "While you play the kind and loving Florence Nightingale, I'll be your foil, here to harass and annoy him back to wellness." I add a playful, evil laugh to my words to reassure her that I am still the bitch I wish everyone to know me as. "Thanks for the lemonade, Bella."

I make my way quickly down the porch stairs, and slip into the safety of my car.

I take in several calming breaths, gripping the steering wheel. I paste an indolent smile on my face before looking up to wave good bye.

I see her return my wave with a relieved smile as I rev the engine and back out of the drive.


	7. Jump In

**Jump In  
_POV: Embry_**

For nearly a week, I've been trying to get rid of all this nagging, nervous energy that's been keeping me awake. I haven't seen hide nor hair of Leah for that same amount of time. And since the Cullens left Forks, there hasn't been any reason for Sam to call the pack together. So, with Jake out of commission and Quil doting on the two-year-old, which is just freakishly weird, I am stuck with only myself to occupy my time.

I tried staying home to help my mom around the place, but being constantly underfoot seemed to disconcert her more than when I was prone to late night excursions. I'm volunteering more and trying to convince my boss to give me more hours at the Blue-Green Alliance office for the healthy ports campaign. But my age has them worried about breaking youth employment laws and as it is, they know they'll be asking me to put in lots of time when we begin preparing for our project launch in late August. I still have nearly two months to fill before the promise off all consuming work, school, and maybe even something with _Algebra 2 girl_ will keep my mind occupied.

_Who am I kidding?_

I haven't been able to get Leah out off my mind since I threw my favorite shirt at her so she could wear it that night.

It was getting tedious, this pining for a girl I'd never have. So, this morning I shoved off my worry about phasing. I'd been afraid that in my wolf-state that I'd accidentally allow the others into my thoughts. It would be humiliating. So, to protect my dignity, I phased before dawn when I knew the others would be safely asleep in human form. I tried to exercise, or rather, exorcise _her_ from my thoughts. Back at home, though, exhausted and sweaty, having run the length of the hunting grounds at least a dozen times at breakneck speed, I found that I'd failed miserably in my attempts to clear my head of her.

So, now, here I am on my bike, motoring up the cliffs...

getting ready to dive.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

_POV: Leah_

My toes curl around the pebbles scattered a the cliff's edge. I feel the ripple of muscle beneath my skin, my body made beautiful by what I've now come to consider my cruel curse. I stretch my arms over my head...

getting ready to dive.

The mistake I'd made my first jump will never be repeated as my favorite Aqua di Lara swimsuit is very nearly painted on my skin. In essence, there is absolutely no chance of indecency even if the force of my entry into the water might be so powerful as to try to wrench the very hair from my scalp.

I relish the warmth of the sun against me. I bunch the muscles in my legs and vault off the edge of the cliff, lifting myself into the air, resisting the power of gravity for a fraction of a second. And in that time, my heart catches in my throat at the beauty of the feeling of ultimate freedom just beyond the the tips of my fingers. I feel nature's pull against me and I move with it, the wind whistles past my ear as I point my hands and arms down toward the place in the ocean where I expect to enter.

I kick my legs up, with a twisting motion, moving myself into a graceful, downward spiral dive, cutting into the water with nary a splash. The cold water envelops my overheated skin. A shock of iciness, and sudden silence surrounds me. I enjoy both sensations for a moment before I look toward the shining surface above.

I move my arms and legs powerfully against the deep blue, pushing my head above water for my saving breath of air. I make swift and purposeful movements to get myself to shore.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

_POV: Embry_

I peel off my shirt, throw it on the handlebars of my motorcycle, and turn toward the horizon and the setting sun. I am greeted with the view of a lithe figure making a graceful dismount off the cliff's edge. My breath holds as I witness her, certainly female, body move effortlessly into masterful spiral drive with the clear intent to cleanly pierce the unusually tranquil ocean water below. I speed to where she'd been standing only minutes before. I breathe in her scent.

It is uniquely, Leah.

I looking down into the blue to ensure she'd entered the water safely. I watch as her head breaks the surface and I follow with my eyes her strong strokes that take her back to a secluded shore accessible only to the Quileute cliff divers.

I prepare for my own dive. As though on a springboard, I jump several times, closer and closer to the edge. I never did like heights, which is why I'm out here in the first place. The fear of the jump always has me focusing only on accomplishing it.

_Instant mind-clearing. _

There is no way I can dive in the way Leah did, with grace and deliberation. I've always had to, needed to, do this with a running leap, eyes closed, and a war cry tearing out of my throat. My limbs generally flail in all directions as I drop like a rock with a mighty crashing splash into the water below. I am quite aware that it's not a pretty sight.

I thought I'd be alone today, so that I could allow myself this wild abandon, and complete the task several times. But I know _she_ is below and quite possibly aware now of my presence. So, I try to play mind games with myself. So, suddenly in my thoughts, I am a professional olympic diver. But the ridiculous image of this only draws a sneer to my already scowling face. I jump a few more times and consider just silently striding off the edge, but I fear coming in contact with the rocky side wall of the cliff if I don't run and jump far enough away.

So, I think the hell with it. I figure there is no impressing the girl I'd like to impress anyway, so I'm going to do it my way.

I back up about three yards. I silently swear at myself, using as many curse words as I know to force me into a heart racing run. I feel the solid ground beneath my feet. I feel the edge of the cliff under my toes. I feel myself go into almost sitting position, pushing off with all the strength of my thighs into the orange red sky.

I am suspended in mid-air.

I try to suppress the yell, but it comes out anyway. I try to control the flailing, but my arms and legs move at their own whim. Then, halfway down, as I feel the sudden drop, my stomach does a turn, as do I, and I inelegantly hit the water, thankfully not on a flop. But certainly with a splash that seems so large as to hit midway up the cliffside.

I propel myself from the ocean's depths with swift kicks, my head breaking the surface for my reward of fresh, salty air. I take a moment to situate myself and begin my slow crawl to shore.

I body surf onto the sandy beach. I feel the droplets of sea water slide down my bare chest and legs as I stand, adjusting my toes as they sink into the sand. I watch her lying there, reclined as though posing for a swimsuit ad. She's as breathtakingly gorgeous as ever, but there's something different about her. With swift strides, I lessen the distance between us in order to make a closer inspection.

As I near, I notice there's something very, very familiar between the sculpted beauty of her backside and the sand.

"You're in my sun," the words slip out of her, velvet, sultry, annoyed. Her eyes are hidden behind dark glasses. The moisture on her skin reflects the golden glint of the setting sun.

"Move." Her single-word command exudes an almost royal boredom.

"And you're lying on my favorite shirt," I accuse in a gravelly voice which, before what had better have been a manly yell over the cliff, had been unused for most of the day.

She tilts her head back, taking in my entire length. I watch her mouth move into a lazy smile. She uses her forefinger, with its coral painted nail, to slowly push down her sunglasses. Her dark brown eyes, search mine. I spy a glint of mischief and seduction in them.

"So, Embry, what exactly are you going to do about that?"

A frisson of desire tears through me. My gut drops, and I know my mouth hangs open while my mind draws a complete blank in answer to her invitation.


	8. Playing with Fire

**Playing with Fire

* * *

**

The makeshift blanket of his T-shirt is soft against my thighs. Fascinated, I contemplate the dark, rugged beauty of him standing there, still blocking the sun's fading rays. He's shocked by my flirtation, almost as much as I am. His eyes shift uncomfortably, unable to rest on my face. They follow, instead, the length of my unconsciously crisscrossing legs. My heart thunders in my chest at his unadulterated perusal of my body. I am thankful that the sounds of the crashing waves mask the rapid pounding in my ears.

While his shout off the cliff might not have been as masculine as he would have liked it to have been, _he's clearly thinking pretty manly thoughts now_, I muse behind my dark glasses. I know this by his stance, hands shoved deep into his pockets, hiding the evidence of his desire within his dripping shorts. I close my eyes for a moment to think.

_What the hell am I doing?!_

"Is that an invitation for me to manhandle you?" His husky rumble is rough against my ear

The shock of his nearness and the speed that brings him kneeling beside me thrills, even though I know we both share the gifts of stealth and speed. The heat of his fingers graze at my shoulders, his breath against my cheek.

Again, hidden behind my shades, I wonder.

_What the hell am I doing?!_

I fake bravado, surreptitiously swallowing the lump in my throat that appeared with his unexpected, sexy response. I gain strength from the knowledge that even though he looks like a full grown man, he is less experienced in his 16 years than I am in my 18. Even so, the blatant sensuality in his eyes burn. Leaving me to wonder that if I should strike, would what I see in their dark depths burst into flame?

"Only if you're man enough to handle me," I throw down the challenge in what I hope is a convincing tone, meant to scare away any novice at this sensual game.

I watch his jaw clench, his eyes flash. My words, a match striking at the intended tinder. Not knowing what to expect, I sit back and watch to see what will become of the spark.

To my utter amazement, the fingers at my shoulder trace a purposeful line up my throat. The rest of his body moves infinitesimally, but all the same, it brings him to face me, still kneeling. His face is inches from mine. His other hand drags the sunglasses from my eyes. The barrier between us slips onto his laid-out t-shirt beneath my hip. Without their cover, I am left more exposed than even the time he found me naked in the woods.

My eyelids droop, hypnotized by his intense gaze. His look rakes me, moving from my eyes and falling to my mouth, a place his other hand has already found. My lips fall open with with a sigh as his thumb traces my lower lip.

"What are you hiding behind your bold words, Leah?" he whispers, his thumb still stroking, catching a little against the hardness of my teeth. "What are you scared of? Did Sam's leaving make you forget how wonderful you are?"

I shut my eyes against the emotion he stirs in me. _He hasn't imprinted_, I remind myself, shouting the words in my head. With this reminder, I am rewarded with the discovery of that part of me that remains hard, unmoved, and I clutch at it.

I grip this anger, open my eyes to stare into his, and sneer, "So, have you imprinted yet, Embry?"

I'm horrified at the bitterness in my voice, but realize it's my only defense against his tender touch. Instead, of releasing me, as any sane person would, this irritating boy glides his hand against me, touching the side of my face. His compassion, unwanted, but so desired. My eyes shut him out once again as I silently relish the reverence he pays to my lonely soul.

"You're all spit and fire, Leah," he murmurs with some affection. I am unnerved at the feel of his face even closer to mine than even before. His palm cups my jaw gently, his fingers tease my temples, drawing my face upward, beckoning me to look at him. I stubbornly refuse.

"I don't think there's a man alive who can handle you." His words are a whispered caress, his next ones, an unbelievable promise, "But one day, Leah, I'll be that man. You just wait and see."

As soon as his words are spoken, I let out a small, surprised gasp. I discover myself now yearning for a kiss to seal his vow. Instead, I feel his fingers slide away, leaving me bereft at the loss of his touch.

I open my eyes, blinking against the brilliant colors of the setting sun, watching the muscles in Embry's back as he retreats.

* * * * * * * *

POV: Embry

_Holy hell! What am I doing?_

I'm scaling what looks like a sheer wall from above. It's not treacherous, the wall of rock, I mean. It is, in fact, the only safe way to get off the slip of beach, back onto solid ground, and returned to the safety of my motorcycle. The muscles in my arms strain in protest as I haul myself up, and it suddenly occurs to me that I'm trying to get away as quickly as possible. Like some idiot, inexperienced schoolboy, I'd left _her_, Leah, the girl I'd been fantasizing about for days now, on the sand, looking ready to be kissed...

by me!

I could just kick myself, if that were in any way physically possible. What the hell am I doing halfway up a rock wall?! Why didn't I just take what she was offering?

_Fear_, I tell myself. _Hers and, if I'm to be completely honest, mine, too._

I felt the change in her as soon as I'd asked. She'd said it herself.

_No Imprint._

And _that_ would be what she focused on.

Of course.

So, for today, I had to walk away.

Because without an imprint, I could forget any real involvement with Leah Clearwater.

_Not just yet, anyway..._


	9. A Peek at His Past

**A Peek at His Past**  
POV: _Jake_

* * *

I'm laying on the sofa, finally healed enough to haul myself out of bed. To my surprise Leah's been a frequent visitor, pain in the ass that she is. But Bella is the one I look forward to seeing most of all. Today, though, Embry's keeping me company. He's twitchy, not at all his usual calm self. After asking about Bella and Leah, and pacing the length of the small living room at least six times, Embry's finally settled into the armchair next to me. Conveniently, I don't have to meet him in the eye and we can both pretend to stare at the Mariners vs. Giants baseball game without really watching.

The annoying movement of his fingers, silently tapping on the chair's upholstered arm finally does me in. I have to break the heavy silence.

"So, bro," I say casually, but cautiously, "you want to tell me about her?"

"What makes you think it's about a _girl_?" he snaps, his body language feigning rapt interest in a Geico commercial. _Stupid lizard._

"Well, it was a wild guess," I admit with a grin, not wanting to stoke his anger, but poking at him is simply irresistible. "Anyway, judging by the way you just bit my head off, I'm right. Right?" I raise my eyebrows at him. His eyes flash annoyance that I'd guessed correctly and that his behavior only solidified my assumptions.

But my unspoken, ready acceptance of whatever he has to say seems to change him. I watch him hang his head. In defeat? I notice how his short, dark hair falls just a little onto his forehead, not a real cover for his eyes. It indicates to me what I might look like if I ever decided to see a barber.

I'd seen him like this before, quiet and antsy. It was a long time ago, when we were younger, and he'd done something he was especially ashamed of. He didn't have anyone to confess to, except for me. Between Quil, him and me, Embry was the quietest, the most cerebral, the most sensitive. I think it has a lot to do with being raised by a single mom and not knowing who his dad is. I try not to think about _that_ too much. It might mean I'm closer to him than I think. But then I'd have to deal with the idea of Billy... Well, anyway, I've long settled into my job as Embry's best friend. So I avert my eyes back to the television and wait. It's not long until Embry fills the quiet.

"You know, that time when we weren't talking? When I phased before you and Quil? That time when Sam ordered me not to tell you about it?" he asks rhetorically.

I nod, silently thinking, _Geeze, Emb, who could forget, that?_

"There was a girl then," there's an audible ache in his quiet words. "We dated before I phased, when we were still friends, when Bella was first coming by. This girl, she wanted to be with me, even more so after I forced her to turn away. I just couldn't be with her after..."

"Why not?" I asked curious. "Didn't you like her?"

"I didn't want to hurt her..." _the way Sam hurt Emily_ is what I guess are the words Embry leaves unspoken. "I ended up hurting her real bad anyway. It was awful, Jake, to break it off with her that way. To make matters worse, it happened when Sam was going though his most mental period. I really liked her, but I was scared. I mean, if Sam couldn't control himself, how could I? I couldn't give her the real reason we couldn't be together. I couldn't tell her the truth, so I hurt her. It seems like it was in the same way that leech hurt Bella."

I feel my lip curl in disgust. Embry sighs sadly, but continues.

"That's why I'm on your side when it comes to her," he rushes. "And I did what I had to, to protect this girl. I was in a lot of pain after, so, I turned to anger. It was easy to hold onto being mad. After all, I was mad that I couldn't be with her. I kept phasing all of the time because I couldn't contain that anger inside myself. I was so pissed off that ... that this transformation made me suddenly untouchable. I'd lost you and Quil. I didn't know if you guys were going to phase, too. I couldn't talk to my mom about it, obviously. It was _torture_ not having anyone. And at the same time I was enraged about how others, strangers, basically, could see into my head. My deepest thoughts all laid out. It was horrendous." He stops with a shudder.

"What happened to the girl?" I ask, somewhat ashamed that I'd been so self absorbed not to notice Embry's first love affair. I mean, imagine all the good natured ribbing I'd missed out on - after all that crap he and Quil put me through about Bells.

"Aylen, is her name,' he says, wistful almost. "She's from my mother's nation. I met her when my mom had to go back and see one of our relatives. I haven't gone back to her reservation since I broke up with her. My cousins tell me what's happening to her. You know, the irony of it is that her name means happiness. They tell me I've sucked all of it out of her. They tell me I should help her. I feel like I should do something, but... "

He stops to compose himself.

With a hand over his eyes he continues, bitterly. "It was really bad, Jake. I didn't want to get close to anyone after. So I pushed everyone away. And I was an asshole about it, too. I just had Sam, the great role model that he was back then. All he did was yell at me and try to reign me in. He used his alpha command one too many times. I resented that and I lost a lot of respect for him because of it. He wasn't the prime example of mental fortitude, either. His mind was really F-d up then. Seriously F-d up. It wasn't until after you and Quil phased that I took some time to take a look at what I'd become. It was pretty horrifying to realize I'd become my worst nightmare."

He falls silent, rubbing at his eyes.

I stare at him.

"Your dad?" I ask quietly. I don't know why I was suddenly going all Dr. Phil on him, probably because that's all I'm watching these days.

His mouth twists into a wry smile as he bobs his head. "I don't want to be like this. To love 'em and leave 'em, but... Wow.. It's so easy to do, Jake. Real easy...." I watch his hand sweep the lazy length of his face, his torso, his legs... "This, being a werewolf thing, having the benefit of a he-man human body doesn't make us really good wallflowers." His laugh is a roughly expelled breath, rueful, regretful. His gaze swings to meet mine. "In a way, you're lucky you could fix on Bella when you phased. You could tell her the truth and she wouldn't think you were a freak. I didn't have anyone after I broke up with Aylen. I was angry, and girls were _everywhere_. Girls who wouldn't look at me twice before were suddenly really interested in getting to know me. I thought, hey, easy pickings. I could get some revenge for the humiliation some of them put me through when I wasn't... when I wasn't..."

"... too sexy for your shirt?" I supply with a laugh.

He chuckles, "Yeah, something like that."

I watch him close his eyes, touch the top of his head against the chair, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows, his mind on his memories. I wait. Silent.

"I was a dog, Jake, through and through. I'm still really messed up about Aylen, but I can't, I won't be the one to fix it. I didn't imprint on her, so it can't be me to help her, because there's always the possibility I'd tear her up all over again. It would kill me to leave her with scars that deep, even if they aren't as visible as Emily's," Embry puts his fingers on his temple as though staving off a headache. "Aylen will be happy again, but it'll be without me. I have to believe that... Unlike you, I don't know without a doubt who I want. I think because of that I became a real shit for a while. I did stuff that I'm not proud of Jake... I forgot I was just 16. I looked, felt, and acted much older and the girls, the women, really, they all fell for it. I feel like I've lived a thousand lives already. All that mental anguish I put myself through, and all those girls, _geezus_..." he shakes his head. "Too many tears, too many faces, too much of me not giving a damn about any one of them. I'm really not fit to be in any sort of relationship, Jake. I'm pretty pathetic. I thought I was invincible and that hurting girls was, well, was... normal... Even though I know what that does to someone."

My eyes hold a question I dare not ask.

He looks up. "My mom," he explains sadly. "I never wanted to do to a girl what that sperm-donor who is my father did to my mom."

I wince, hoping to God he wasn't accidentally insulting Billy. I stare at him.

"How did I not know about all this before?" I question wonderingly. "I mean I can see into your brain, Embry."

"I think you were preoccupied," he forces a grin. "And, all you guys have real dirty minds. Who cares about my angst when you are all avoiding eye-contact and blushing about your secret fantasies? I'm not pornographic like you sickos. You know I don't operate like that. If you didn't know that before, you know now. Besides, when you get the X-rated stuff for free, even if it stars someone you know, maybe especially because of it, it seems a no brainer that no one wants to delve into my darkness. All you guys are more comfortable seeing what you want to see. And that's fine by me. Anyway, once Leah...." he breaks off, suddenly thoughtful, suddenly uncomfortable in his seat.

_Interesting,_ I think to myself. His face doesn't have the same grimace as every other pack member at the sound of girlie-wolf's name.

He quickly picks up again, "...joined the pack - between you and her, my thoughts were pretty much drowned out. And really, I'm fine with that."

I watch him looking at his hands, wringing them as he toys with a thought I can almost pick out of the air.

"Yeah, that Leah," I say lightly, testing to see if what I'd seen before meant anything. "Talk about dark. I don't try to delve too deep in there myself." I picked my words and tone carefully, and now I sit back to watch his reaction.

I am rewarded with the sight of something blazing to life in his gaze.

"Leave her alone, Jake."

I raise an inquiring eyebrow.

"Is that a warning, Embry?" I ask curiously.

"Just cut her some slack," not quite a growl, but I see the muscles in his jaw clench. His fingers curl into fists. He exhibits all of his regular signs of clamming up nice and tight.

Clearly, he wasn't going to talk anymore today.

So, I decide to let it go.

"How 'bout them Mariners, huh?" I ask, changing the subject. He starts a little, surprised he doesn't have to go toe-to-toe with me.

I watch him relax into our ballgame banter.

I'm not sure if he realizes that it doesn't escape me how his defensive response isn't an answer to my question.

I relax into the sofa thinking that finding out what the hell's going on with Embry and Leah is sure going to be interesting. Certainly more interesting than watching this pathetic baseball game.


	10. Girl Talk

**Girl Talk  
_POV: _****_Jake_

* * *

**

The feminine voices tickle our werewolf senses long before the owners' light footfalls hit the wooden porch.

_Leah and Bella._

Embry and I appear to decide this simulateously.

Embry casts me a wary look as he scans the room for a quick exit. I hide my amusement with a cough, knowing he's good and stuck, since the backdoor is through Billy's bedroom.

I watch Bella enter the unlocked front door. She seems pleased to find me out of bed and in the company of a friend. I'm unaccustomed to seeing her so delighted while holding a shopping bag, but she has one unmistakably dangling from her wrist. Leah slides inside behind her, proping herself against the kitchen archway, looking down at a shiny red cellphone in her hand. I notice she seems unaware of Embry's presence, or if she does know he's here, she's hiding it well.

I'm still getting accustomed to Leah's super-short, softly tousled hairdo. I reluctantly notice that it's very attractive on her, calling attention to her sculpted feminine jawline and the graceful length of her neck. She's quite a beauty, our Leah, but she seems completely ignorant of the impact she has on our brethren.

I can see what the sight of her does to Embry. His breathing goes shallow and his twitchiness increases. He's clearly avoiding having to look at her, so he instead lays his intense gaze on Bella at my side. She smiles shyly at him, the first time she's been in a social setting with one of my boys.

She moves her gaze from Embry back to me and says, "So, Leah and I have been having an interesting conversation that maybe you guys might have some insight on."

A choked, gurgling sound comes from the hallway, in Leah's vicinity. She's shooting daggers at my girlfriend, warning her off the topic with a shake of her head. Her obvious, desperate desire to steer Bella from whatever they were talking about becomes suddenly interesting to me. So, since it always pleases me to try to get a rise out of Leah, I respond in a lazy drawl, "We'd be glad to help, Bells, what were you two chatting about?"

I am gratified to see Leah gnash her teeth, obviously annoyed with my seemingly innocent inquiry.

"Imprints," Bella says, not realizing as I do how the air is sucked out of the room by the mere utterance of the single word.

If Embry was short of breath before, he looks nearly asphyxiated now. Viewable behind him, still in the archway, Leah has her slender fingertips pushing against her closed eyelids.

Hmmm... I wonder what _that's_ about.

"So what do you want to know about imprints, you two?" focusing all my attention on Bella, but keeping a watchful eye on both Leah and Embry. I realize belatedly that I'm being an ungracious host, but their behavior is simply too curious to just let this conversation go.

"What would you know about them, Jake?" Leah snaps sharply. "You haven't imprinted. None of us have, as a matter of fact." I notice her stare now bores into the back of Embry's head. If he feels the weight of her attention on him, he does nothing to acknowledge it.

"We can only guess at the reasons behind imprinting, Bella," explains Embry patiently, cutting off Leah's attempt to sidetrack the subject. "No one really knows why it happens, but it seems pretty clear that it's not as rare as the old myths would have us believe."

"Do you think it ..." I hear the hesitation in Bella's stutter. I place my hand on her back and rub, quietly giving her the ok to continue. She spares me a glance and then shoots a look of apology at Leah, who refuses to move her gaze to meet hers. ".. uhm... never mind."

"I think I know what you were going to ask," says Embry quietly now pushing the conversation forward after assessing Bella's battle between curiosity and protection of Leah. " I think, Bella, and stop me if I'm wrong. You want to know if love has anything to do with it." My eyes shoot over to Leah and I notice some pain in her gaze before her dark eyes cloud over and she hangs her head, focusing again on the cellphone, which I notice is not flipped open.

"So, what do you think?" Bella asks unable to contain herself, despite knowing that Leah might not want to hear Embry's theory.

"I don't think love has anything at all to do with it," comes Embry's shockingly confident reply.

There is a heartbeat of silence as we all take in that thought.

"Then, Embry, what _do_ you think it's about?" Leah breathes from behind him.

He slowly turns to look at her, his gaze unblinking. "It's just a compulsion to procreate, Leah. Just an irresistible desire to be with your imprint to mate. Animal instinct. Lust. Period. How _can_ it be about love?"

Leah's eyes go wide with wonder. Then something else along the lines of grief and perhaps disgust crosses her face. Almost quicker than the eye can see, she's gone. The only evidence of her even being in the room with us is the swinging front door.

I hear Embry's muttered curse, watch him haul himself out of his chair, and barrel out of the house to follow her into the woods.

"Oh, I didn't mean to...," starts Bella, clearly distressed that she's upset her new friend.

"It's OK, Bells," I soothe. "I think Embry knows what he's doing," I add, hoping there is some truth to my words.

I see the question in Bella's eyes and choose to leave it unanswered. I grab her hand and tug at her shopping bag instead.

"So what did you and Leah get?" I ask teasingly. "Is it for me?"

She swats at my hand, exclaiming at my greediness. We continue our playful interchange and although her curiosity about Embry and Leah seems all but forgotten, I discover that I still want to know what's going on.


	11. Racing

**Racing  
_POV: Embry  
WARNING: M, coarse language

* * *

_**

I burst into the thickness of the trees, my nose in the air, sniffing, trying to catch Leah's unique scent.

I'd discovered something about her fragrance during my last Nature Conservatory Meeting. We'd been discussing preserving the state's native plants and the presenters had aromatic samples of Washington's wildflowers. I stayed after to satisfy a curiosity I had about the make up of Leah's essence. It hadn't come as a surprise to me that her identifying perfume turned out to be a mix of some of the most aptly named wildflowers of our state, Impatiens and Wild Ginger. They reminded me of her: impatient, hot, untamed, and spicy. Interestingly, the last sweet note of Leah's bouquet proved the most difficult to uncover. Standing in the meeting room, the discovery of the mystery fragrance brought an immediate smile to my face, as I identified the sweetness of Leah in a tiny vial labelled: buttercups.

Of all things, Leah also smelled of _buttercups_.

I pivot, tracking her irresistible aroma, and come upon her pile of clothes in a small clearing. This is not her usual M.O. She usually carefully folds her clothes and hides them away. She must be pretty upset.

_What could I have said that she doesn't already know?_

I have _no_ idea what I did wrong.

I groan.

_Why was she so mad?_

I see movement to my left, her grey fur visible just past the nearest line of trees.

"Leah!" I shout. "Leah! Wait!"

She's moving farther and farther away from me.

I hear myself curse again. The only way I can catch her now is to follow suit. With little thought, I strip and drop my clothes next to hers. I'm in a full run as I phase.

Now a wolf, I race after her. Our werewolf mind reading powers kicks in as soon as my four furry paws hit the ground running. Thankfully, I find myself able to touch her mentally long before I catch new sight of her.

_Get the FUCK away from me, Embry! JUST GET THE HELL AWAY!_

I feel the rippling despair and anger inside her, tearing at me as much as it does her. I try to ignore the strong desire to comfort her. My mind moves quickly to realize I _can_ help her without making her feel helpless. In her heightened emotional state, she doesn't see my thoughts.

_I'll race you, Leah! _I shout at her, trying to penetrate her wall of grief, trying to get her to concentrate on something else entirely. _Race me!_

I feel her thoughts falter as she focuses on my new challenge.

_Good!_ I think, giving her a mental shake, knowing she wouldn't, couldn't, turn down a race.

_Race me up to the top of that peak. I'll beat you up there, _I shout this directly into her mind.

Her thoughts change course now, I feel her hone in on estimating how she can make it to the top before me.

_Alright, Embry. Prepare to get your ass kicked. Oh, but wait as second, tough guy. If I win, what do I get?_

It's my turn to have my thoughts stutter. I steel my mind against my most immediate longings. I hear her cruel little mental laugh at a wisp of a fantasy I'm unable to put out of my head quickly enough.

_Damn, mind-reading!_

_Sooooo... No thoughts except that naughty little one that's never in hell ever going to happen, Embry? Hmmmmm?............" _I hear a little frown, but her eyes twinkle as she continues,_ Well, I have an idea! How about I get to keep your shirt?_

_You've already got my shirt,_ I grumble, coming to the sudden realization that I'm going to need _that_ back within the next two weeks, and besides, it _is_ my favorite shirt.

_Oh, well, then,_ the utter confidence of her tone indicates she senses my want for it. _ If YOU win, Embry, doubtful as that is, I have to give it back to you. Tonight._

_OK, that's enough incentive for me to whip your butt up that hill, were-girl, _ I say trying not to think about the literal meaning of my words as she slows to allow me to catch up with her. _You're on!! _

_All right, on three, then, _she says, making eye contact. We swivel in concert, setting our sights on our finish line and begin the count together.

_One! _

_Two! _

_Three!_

We both finish our mental countdown and I feel her launch from start position, both of us making our individual push forward toward the mountain peak. From my peripheral vision I can see we're running neck and neck. She carries the grace of her dive in her run - purposeful and powerful. In contrast, I shoot ahead full-throttle, with far less finesse, untroubled by whatever stands in my way.

I have a flash of conscience thinking that my build, lanky with more muscle, might perhaps require she be given a handicap. The thought unconsciously causes my gait to slow slightly.

At the tail end of my thoughts, I hear her intrude..._You damn well better not throw this, Embry! Run! Damn you! Give me an honest race!_

Her words spiral through me, spurring my legs to move faster, to gain on her and overtake her. I'm enjoying the rush now. I laugh back at her when I'm a few yards ahead. I catch the dead determination in her wolf stare, reminding myself that she's a big girl and can take care of herself.

_Damn straight, you shitty excuse for a werewolf! _She shouts as she picks up the pace and speeds past me._ Don't ever get too comfortable with where you are when you're with me, Embry. _

Her laughing condescension gets the better of me. When coupled with her words, I find that, for whatever reason, I'm dangerously angry. A surge of adrenaline hits me and doesn't leave until my right front paw is the first to hit the peak. I can hear Leah's growl of frustration seconds later as she spies me at the top, just inches ahead of her.

I collapse, belly on the ground, gasping for breath. Besting Leah isn't easy. I readily admit that she is easily the swiftest of the pack. I warily watch her approach.

Unexpectedly, my mind goes blank as I feel Leah's wet nose touch the tip of mine. Her wolfen muzzle nuzzles at my neck, an intimacy that's an impossibility in our human form. The physical exhertion appears to have relaxed her, enough to be comfortable with me beside her. She nudges me a little, lying down and curling herself against my body to take her rest. She allows me to cradle my own head in the crook formed at her neck and shoulder.

A feeling of contentment and peace steals over me. She pulls this emotion from me so she can feel it too. I hear her deep inhalation followed by a, rumbly, though feminine purring. We converse silently in our minds as we recline against one another. She relaxes into me, the grey of our fur blurring into one another.

_Shit. I have to give the shirt back now,_ she thinks with a grudging, internal smile.

_Yeah. You do_. I think back at her, amused, but careful to tread lightly. _Hey, you OK?_

_I'm better_, her thoughts and overall mood reflect her words. _It's weird a little, too. I'm kind of making friends. You'd be amazed, because I'm amazed, myself._ I can hear her sad smile and the shrug in her thoughts. _People seem to have found something to like about me. It is kind of amazing - you, Bella, even that bastard, Jake. And it's surprisingly easy to talk about stuff with Bella... but..._

_But what? You worried about her, or something?_

_Embry, I don't think she'll be able to handle it when Jake imprints. It'll ... it'll kill her._

_There's nothing that says he will imprint, Leah. But_ _**if **__he does, I bet Bella's tougher than that,_ I reassure her with my thoughts. _I mean, she's run with vampires! Thank goodness she came to her senses! Now she's going out with the worst sort of werewolf!_

She barks out an appreciative laugh. Then quiets again.

_It was good to run, Embry. Thank you for that. I really needed it_.

_Sure, Leah,_ I pause in my thoughts and gather the courage to push her a little harder. _But you know, you can't keep running to avoid whatever it is you're trying not to feel._

There's a heavy silence, filled only by the call of an occasional songbird. Her thoughts are fractured, like a dream. She's so still beside me that I can't tell if she's still awake. I raise my head to see her visible eye open, bright with unshed tears. In an effort to comfort, I lave my tounge against the side of her face, then nestle closer.

She whimpers.

_I can't stand that I'm letting myself be weak around you, Embry,_ she laments. _I don't know why you even bother._

_It's not a weakness to give in to your feelings, Leah._

_It is a weakness if you always feel like you're on the verge of collapse!_

_I doubt you feel this way all the time_, I reply smoothly. _I upset you because of something I said back at Jake's place._ It was a statement, not a question. _I didn't mean to, but, Leah, Sam's been saying it all along, you know that. Imprinting, he says, is an irresistible compulsion. It is about procreation, little else._

I feel a tensing of her muscles against mine.

_I can't believe that, Embry. Love has to be part of it__, if not most of it_, baring her canines as she thinks this thought.

_But why, Leah?_ I ask, thoroughly confused. _I thought you'd be relieved with this explanation of imprinting. I thought it would make you feel better._

She quickly moves away from me now, leaving me alone, oddly empty. She sits on her haunches a couple of yards away. Her gaze burns into my eyes as she gives extra care in thinking her next thought.

_Sam has to love Emily for more than the fact she's going to get pregnant with his babies._

Her words are spoken with an anguish that rips against at her and through me. Even still, I can't seem to make myself understand.

_Are you this upset because you think Emily should be loved by Sam to have his babies? Or are you thinking Sam left because **you** can't have babies?_ I ask realizing too late how thoughtless these questions are. I'm sure it's more complicated than that. Girls always make it more complicated. Her reaction to my query is physical, she whines and flinches as though I dealt her a physical blow. I honestly hadn't thought about how being a werewolf might affect a girl.

_Of course you wouldn't thing about it! It's because you're an asshole, just like the rest of them!_ she lashes out at me angrily.

I ignore the sting of her words and focus on her hidden pain beneath. _You can't assume the option of having your own children is taken from you, Leah. You might be able to and besides..._ I stop mid-sentence to look at her again and notice a flicker in her gaze. _Wait, but there's more, isn't there Leah? So, why else do you think Sam would leave you?_

She lifts her chin in defiance.

_Sam has to love Emily more than he loves me, Embry, because then his leaving would make sense. Imprinting **is** love at first sight. It's a special thing you werewolves have to hone in on your soul mate, the person who will share your love forever._ This relayed thought is oddly calm, as though she's repeated it, like a favored fairytale, over and over to herself. She seems back in control. I also notice she doesn't include herself as being able to imprint.

I look at her, quietly digesting her words. She continues haltingly, _Embry, if he left me just because he was in lust, that would mean... that would mean..._

She can't seem to finish the sentence. Her morose mien tells me she's afraid I've finally stumbled upon her worst fear.

And her thought _is_ suddenly clear in my head.

_That would mean... that he wasn't strong enough to love you, to fight against the lust, to just let it pass._ I continue her sentence for her. I watch her tilt her nose up to the glowing ball of fire in the sky. Her pose makes a proud line from the tip of her nose to the tops of her paws. I continue unaware of how hard it is for her to have someone else acknowledge her most secret pain. _It would mean he doesn't love you enough to fight for you, because... Oh, Leah..._ my thoughts whisper, _because you believe that means you aren't good enough for him._

My finished thought forces a keening howl from her throat. Her pained cry steals my breath away, putting a sharp ache in my heart for her.

_Imprints are NOT just about lust and making were-babies, Embry,_ Leah's thoughts screech. If spoken aloud, the decibel level of her thoughts alone would shatter glass. _It can't be! I mean, that's sick if you think about Quil and his toddler imprint... It's like he's grooming a baby girl just to be his baby's mama. That's just fucking sick and disgusting!_"

I never thought about it like _that_. Hell! That _was_ disgusting! I forcefully push the thought away, never to contemplate again. Instead, I try to formulate a thought that I know will draw her wrath against me. Regardless of her anger, like the renegade I am, I push further, needing her to accept the agony of the truth as I see it. Selfishly, I also needed to hold on to my _own_ definition of what an imprint _is_.

_But, Leah, what if I am right?_ I watch her wince and gasp._ Can a wolf-girl gasp? It sure sounded like it_. I keep it up anyway, _What if YOU are wrong, Leah? You want to keep running because you don't want to face the truth about Sam and you. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt._

_What truth would that be, Embry!?_ She snarls at me. _You want me to accept that I'm not good enough for him and never will be? Or that he doesn't love me because he found me lacking, after I gave him nearly THREE years of my life? Well, I WON'T accept that!_

_Anyway, what the fuck do you know, Embry?!_ I can feel her turning on me now, throwing slashing thoughts to relieve some of her distress. _NOTHING, that's what! Not a damn thing! You've never in your whole pitiful life known love, except from your... your mommy! How the hell would you know what Sam feels or felt for me?!_

She's barking, snarling and growling at me in full force. As she finishes her last line she glares at me in utter loathing as though she can't decide whether to attack or flee. For a moment I fear having to physically defend myself. To my immense relief, Leah turns tail and runs away.

Her rage fills my head as she runs. I know she's trying to hurt me with her verbal attack, so I try to block out her tirade. Some of it hits home anyway. She's right, I don't know a father's love. That was so completely unnecessary for her to take a stab at. But what she fails to see in her all-consuming, self-indulgent misery is that I do know _something_ about love. And it's very different from Leah's version. This calms me, this knowing. So, instead of responding to her, I wisely decide to shut it.

I wait a few moments, listening for a lull in her fuming, wishing to punish her a little for her desire to draw some blood from me with her sharply honed words. I hurl one last bullish command at her.

_Don't forget about my damn shirt, Leah. I want it back ... TONIGHT!_

_Oh, you'll get your shirt, alright, you bastard,_ comes her enraged retort. _I'll give you back your damn shirt, asshole!_

_Watch your mouth, Leah,_ I silently reprimand. With a sigh, I rest my chin on my front paws. I work on keeping my mind blank, avoiding the input of Leah's cursing as she moves down the hillside. I lay quietly, sensing when she's human again, giving her some time to get back to the clearing to dress before I go about doing the same.

I just hope my t-shirt comes back in one piece, I groan inwardly. _Crap! I should have thought to put that requirement in our wager agreement before we ran the race._

I close my eyes trying not to imagine my favorite t-shirt coming back to me ripped to shreds.

* * *

_Author's note: Thank you for all your reviews about this piece. They always motivate me to write and think about the story line - any help from all you diehard Callwater fans is appreciated! Thanks in advance! --ilikethebigbadwolf_


	12. Payback

**Payback...****   
**_POV: Leah_

_Warning: potty-mouthed Leah_

* * *

What a wretch of a day this turned out to be, I think angrily, as I storm into my bedroom.

In silent protest of Embry's besting me, I violently tug on his, yet again, newly washed goGreen t-shirt. It falls softly against my bare skin, reminding me of the first time I'd slipped it on - when it still carried only _his_ scent. The caress of the fabric against my skin brings an unconscious smile to my face.

And _this_ makes me instantly resentful.

_Ugh!_ I roll my eyes in frustration.

I thought yesterday was bad, I frown miserably at the recall of it.

_Yesterday,_ was supposed to be bad. I'd expected it, after all! It had been the "no-longer-anniversary" of my non-existent relationship with Sam.

_Yesterday_, I was ready for a crap day. It was supposed to be crap, and _knowing_ it would be, I'd spent most of it packing up all Sam's damn stuff into a box, while throwing in anything and everything else that even remotely reminded me of _him_.

Now, _today_.Well_, TODAY_, was supposed to be a _GOOD_ day.

_Today_, I was supposed to have the pleasure of incinerating the "That Was Sam" box.

_Today_, I made good on my plans to go shopping with Bella to replace all the stuff I shoved in the box yesterday. I was tickled that I finally coerced her to buying something nice for herself, breaking her out of that unfashionable fleece fetish she's got going on.

_Today_, I'd expected to talk about what we were going to do after summer, and we had! I'm still excited at the prospect of our newly developed plans for the foreseeable future. At least that bit of happiness didn't fade. But during lunch, when I'd invited Bella to my box burning, she brought it up. That's when we'd had our _imprint_ conversation.

I fiddle with the shirt's hem and force myself think about why I haven't given _this_ back to Embry before today. Or, why I haven't taken the kitchen shears and ripped it to shreds as I'd imagined doing in the car on the way home, post-race. I don't even know why I'm sitting around my room wearing it! Or, why I'm still sulking about having to forfeit it to the rightful owner, even!

I scowl at the thought of that blasted werewolf and his fleet feet.

Because of _him_, instead of happily building my bonfire to complete the ritual of ridding myself of all my painful memories of Sam, I'm sitting here thinking about how I now have to give up the _one_ thing that does give me some good...very good... memories. Ones that make me want to create more with ...

_Oh shi*t!_

EMBRY!

_I pause._

_Breathless._

_Still._

Regaining my ability to think, I start to shriek at no one in particular.

"So THAT is it!?" I feel myself going a bit berserk at the idea, crashing around my little room. "Stupid, idiot, jerkface, Embry! I'm going to _kill_ him! No! I'm going to torture him first! Then, I'm going to kill him!"

I'm being unreasonable, I know, and I don't care. My long buried, totally goody-two-shoes, type-A, normal self is shouting at me to just calm the f*ck down. Just pull the shirt off, wrap it in some damn tissue, and pack it into one of my many millions of paper shopping bags to drop it at his door. Then run! Run, Leah! Run far away!

I viciously ignore my former self's practical pleas. I am swallowed by my rage at the rat-assed bastard for making me start to feel something and now my growing disgust at myself for starting to feel something for that same rat-assed bastard.

I'm wild in my want to punish him, to devise some sort of way to irritate the sh*t out of him... giving him back some of this utter madness.

I stop, clawing for some clarity and it occurs to me that with the required return of this shirt, I now possess a valid excuse to get near enough to him to make his life a living hell. Not wanting to be a welcher, the return of the shirt will have to be in true venomous Leah-style.

Funny, how calming it is to begin such a vindictive endeavor. I smooth the shirt fabric down against myself, contemplating. Lost in my thoughts, I notice my fingertips trip over some flaking-off wording on the shirt that I hadn't noticed before.

Right under the logo, I squint reading upside down, and fill in the blanks. It says, Blue-Green Alliance.

_I wonder what that is._

I move over to my computer and try Googling it.

B-L-U-E-G-R-E-E-N [[spacebar]] A-L-L-I

_Ugh! What am I doing?!_

[[delete]] [[delete]] [[delete]]

_Why can't I get Embry off the brain?!_

Well, uhm, Leah. Let's see.... he gets you so pissed off today that you can't see straight. Before that, he got you all hot and bothered on the beach AND says words you never expected to hear from a real, actual guy who wasn't auditioning for a Jane Austen play.

My fingers return to the keyboard, lightly tapping without typing as I indulge in remembering the beach at dusk.

"_I don't think there's a man alive who can handle you...But one day, Leah, I'll be that man. You just wait and see."_

The memory of his words from a week ago still sends tingles all over.

_What did he mean by that? He wants me? Really? And why the hell do I f*cking care?_

The truth of the matter is, I'm really curious about his interest. Why me? He should despise me for what I've tried to do while in the pack, shun me like the rest. His clear desire for me at the beach was more than flattering. It did in fact remind me, as he suggested, of all the things I had forgotten about myself since Sam left me.

_For Embry, lust means imprint, not love,_ I remind myself, finding comfort in it.

Maybe that's the ticket to paying him back, to show him that lust is lust and when he does imprint, he'll know I'm right. He'll know that love is something else completely, and that for male werewolves who are so bestowed, they get that through imprinting. This, of course, means, I'm going to have to gamble on _my_ definition being the right one.

So, that's what I'll do to. It could work. Clearly he's interested. I can drive him half-mad with wanting me and not being able to have me. All the while showing myself that I've still got game. Then, when he imprints, which will probably be like next week, since the rest of the guys are dropping like flies, then he'll have to admit I'm right. He'll tell me he was wrong and I was right while he's ...

_gag, me...._

holding hands and looking adoringly in his imprint's eyes, I imagine miserably.

I have half a mind to show up at his doorstep dressed this way, to challenge and taunt him by demanding he pull the shirt off my back if he wanted it so badly. The last time I did something like that, he didn't really do anything about it except make that empty promise, sexy as it was.

"_But one day, Leah, I'll be that man. You just wait and see." _

And then he left me... wanting him... the nerve!

Well, he'll get payback for _that_, too! I'm willing to bet that I'll be able to walk away with the prize in the end. Though, that isn't the point really, I admit to myself. It's just the principle of this whole thing. _He_ shouldn't be able to order me around, telling me what to do and how to think after _he'd_ scrambled up my thoughts these last few weeks. And especially the way he enraged me today!

_But, oh, he did stir up some lost sensations..._

OK! So, let's go then! From me, heartlessness: no caring, no feelings, just use this anger to give Embry some payback, and I might be able to get me back some of my mojo. From him: groveling and a heartfelt apology admitting that I am right.

I sit in my computer chair and stare blankly at the screen.

The cursor silently blinks at me, tempting me.

_OK!_ _I'm going to call this "reconnaissance, fact-finding."_

My fingers fly over the keys.

L-L-I-A-N-C-E and E-M-B-R-Y and C-A-L-L

[[return]]

_It's not professing even a modicum of interest to check him out this way. THIS is necessary,_ I try to convince myself.

I nervously twist the bottom of his t-shirt as I wait for the link results.

_Wow, he actually has a Twitter? and a MySpace!?_

I move my cursor to the third link, clicking the one that says Blue-Green Alliance. While I wait for the page to load, I rock back in my chair, and crisscross my arms behind my head. Suddenly, there's a picture of him on my screen, scowling just a little, wearing the shirt I now have on. I find myself smiling back.

_Oh, crap! It must be a uniform for work or something.!_

He's listed under "INTERNS" who'll be helping on the Healthy Ports campaign. I read through the program.

_Hmmmm, looks like he's gonna be one busy wolf later this summer._

And then I read his quote about him being a conservationist:

"**Some people just have a passion for nature, a particular attraction to life itself. Many simply love the environment, but some people are equipped deep down to be conservationists. For these people, people like me, when we love something, we do our very best to make sure we don't lose it."**

_Wow, he's a regular John Muir! _But even in my sarcasm, borne of my current anger, I find my admiration for Embry growing. It's not an altogether uncomfortable feeling. I freak out a little at that realization. So, I move on, and cruise on over to his MySpace.

_Eww! That is not a flattering picture of him. Why would he put that up?!_

I read through his profile and comments.

_Whoa! Some chick named Aylen is totally stalking him! I wonder what that's about. _My eyes water from the hilarity of all the lovey dovey poetry and double entendres from this pathetic girl. Yuck! If he thinks this is the way he want me to throw myself at him..... How funny how she starts cussing him out only a couple of months after, when I was feeling the same way about Sam.

To cleanse my eyes and my mind of all the sticky romance and, frankly, very foul language, I look at all the profiles peppering the page. Well, there's no one on the list I know. Hardly any guys at all! That's a lot of girls.

_I gulp, maybe I was wrong about his relative inexperience._

I check the comments on the site again, glazing over Aylen's early posts, which I just naturally picture with hand drawn hearts and posies. Besides her saccharine sweetness, it seems as Embry's got a lot of ex-girlfriends - wow, not kidding about the _lots_ part. He also doesn't seem to be updating his page, judging from that really bad profile picture of him and his utter lack of response to these outrageous posts.

This raises the question of, maybe it's a fake page? I mean, truly, the language of some of these women, well, it makes _me_ seem almost virtuous!

Oh and those few guys on here seem to be threatening Embry with bodily harm!

_Well.. well... There seems to be a whole other Embry I don't know about!_

But then, I surmise, if he was as dense to these girls... _erm_... I squint a little at some of the profile pictures... _women_, as he was with _me_ today, then it's no wonder he has a whole MySpace dedicated to females hating on him! I contemplate leaving a comment or two myself, but think better of it. There are more painful and altogether more satisfying ways to make this dog realize what an insensitive mongrel he is.

Now tempted to check out his Twitter, it occurs to me that I'm moving from mere fact-checking into the realm of cyber stalking. I scowl at the thought and shake my head at my foolishness.

Now, I'm intrigued and I am also highly annoyed because of it. I put my hands on my hips, sawing my lower lip between my teeth.

I hurriedly hit my computer's power button and march myself over to my dresser bureau, pawing though my bottles for exactly the right one.

_Yessssssss, _I think as I close my fingers around the one I'd been looking for.

With a little wicked smile I start undressing while making my way to my stash of folded up tissue paper and small shopping totes.

_Pay back time!_

And it's gonna be a ...


	13. Is a Female Dog

**...is a Female Dog  
_POV: Embry

* * *

_**

"Aww, Ughh! Embry! Go away!" shouts Jared, shoving me off the log and onto Quil who is sitting on the ground.

As I'm pushing myself off of Quil, I gnash my teeth at the sight of him holding his nose between his thumb and forefinger saying, "Shit, Call, you stink!"

I glare at him, annoyed that he was joining in. You'd think he preferred the smell of dirty diapers to catching a whiff of me.

_It wasn't that bad! _

_Not really..._

At least that's what I convinced myself of before going to work this morning.

"Hey! Ooohh, daaammnn, Embry!" Seth laughs,"Shower much?" The youngest of the pack is convulsing, waving a hand in front of his nose, but keeping a close watch on me since he seems to rightly figure he'll be the first I'll attack due to lack of seniority. I have half a mind to rip into him just for being related to the wolf who did this to me.

It was only this morning that I finally fished my goGreen shirt out of the the frilly, frothy, _what was that, anyway, tissue?! Gah! _pink bag Leah thrust at me nearly six days ago. At the time, all I could focus on was her defiant, sexy smirk as she told me to go rot in hell, describing in no uncertain terms just what I could do with myself while I was there. I had been so irritated after she stalked out of the house and out of my life that I threw the unopened bag in my closet and plugged myself up with my iPod to drown out the roaring in my head.

"Wanna, kiss?" sniggers Jake, making completely inappropriate faces at me, the disgusting kiss-y face kind. "You smell so enticing," he adds, pawing at my chest, and then dissolving into a less-than-manly fit of giggles. I return Jake's hyperbolic amorous gestures with a gesture of my own, one decidedly more obscene. Some commotion coming from the front yard draws my attention away from the sniggering guys, and when I turn to see its cause, I inwardly groan.

_Paul. Ugh._

I was hoping that I would be spared from having to deal with _him_ today_. _

"Hell, Embry do you have any idea that you're walking around smelling like a..."

_God damn, that... _

...bitch?!" Paul shouts to the caterwauling laughter of the entire group.

_Leah! _

While thinking of 101 creative ways to kill a were-girl, I pantomime sarcastic, dry laughter as the rest of the males of the pack convulse and literally roll around on the soft grass, unable to contain their amusement at my predicament.

_OK. OK. So I smell like I tried every tester in Bath & Body Works (tm), which by the way, is a near lethal combination to our sensitive werewolf nasal passages. __**She**__ should have known that!_

I sigh, miserably.

At least there was one who wasn't joining in the merriment. I look askance to find Sam shaking his head, throwing me a pitying, sympathetic smile. All the same, he wrinkles his nose as though he's caught whiff of a vamp, and secretly asks, "What did you do?"

I shoot him a dark look, but catch the understanding in his gaze. It occurs to me that he might have once been in my place. I don't believe he knows the same girl might have put us there. I whisper back, "I told her something she didn't want to hear."

Sam shakes his head, hesitant to place a hand on my shoulder, in case he might catch my _fragrant issue_.

"Good luck, man," he says grimly. I watch him cough, trying to cover a bemused sound, his mouth twitching. "If you don't apologize to the woman, it'll get worse from here, trust me. Just be thankful it wasn't itching powder. _That_ happened to me once."

I shudder.

It was bad enough she had deliberately left her half-open perfume bottle at the bottom of the bag where she'd wrapped my shirt. It had slowly leaked _everywhere_. My goGreen soaked the odoriferous liquid up like a sponge. What was left of the eue de toilette made a slow trickle out of the bag and seeped into the rest of my clothes lying on a heap waiting for wash day. How was I to know that it would all marinate in Leah's unique perfume for nearly a week?! I'm sure that her conniving mind told her that if she pissed me off at the front door, I'd be so annoyed that I wouldn't want to wear the shirt right away. She was right, of course, because I didn't find out about her little prank until _this_ morning when I'd finally opened the bag out of necessity. I was horrified at my discovery.

Even after washing my clothes five times, I couldn't get her scent all out. I think by washing it, the intensity could have even gotten _worse_, if that was possible! It was maddening to think she did this to spite me. The blasted wildflower smell kept her forefront in my mind all day. I was half-aroused by the time I'd made it over to Jake's for the latest united pack effort to see him swiftly put back on his feet. To top it all off, I'd gotten strange looks all day from some of the guys in the G-A building. Girls were asking me where I'd gotten my "pretty-smelling" lotion, some were even sending me looks questioning my masculinity!_ It was freaking humiliating! _My olfactory senses, which were sensitive even before becoming a wolf, now were on hyperdrive. Having her invade my thoughts, my life, this way was beyond the pale.

Since opening the pretty package, I'd been kicking myself for not checking the bag earlier. I'd imagined that she'd have desecrated my shirt before handing it over and I hadn't wanted to lose it in front of her if she did. I keep using this as the primary reason for not checking. But, really, it was because Leah had pushed her way into my house, stepped right up against me and I felt her every passionately enraged body cell quivering against me. It blew my mind to be that close to her while we were both so worked up. So, when I had all that fervid Leah plastered all over me, even though she'd been in a lather about bringing me to my impending death, promised by her own hands, well, I sort of forgot about _everything_. After she was through with her tirade, having cursed me into next week, she's shoved the pretty package at me daring me to open it. It's no wonder that I didn't think to check. I can be a stubborn, mule-headed ass, too.

Having worn the incriminating evidence all day, I'd had the time to work out why I hadn't noticed the leaking perfume before it had done its damage. It actually wasn't surprising considering the state of my dirty clothes piled on my closet floor. To be honest, the smell coming from my closet the last six days was actually sort of nice. I kind of enjoyed catching trails of a scent that reminded me so much of Leah whenever I passed the closed closet door. I had no idea how much perfume had permeated my personal effects! I'm just eternally thankful that I don't keep my boxers in there!

_Oh, wait! Ugh. _

Come to think of it, some of my underwear might not have escaped the fate of the rest of my fragrant clothes.

_When I get my hands on that Leah, I'm going to strangle her! _

I march away from the group of riotous men and sit myself in a chair on the back porch daring anyone to approach me. I so needed just one tiny excuse to get rid of my foul mood.

The sound of a husky feminine laugh next to my ear catches me by surprise. I turn and see that I am face-to-face with the aforementioned soon to be deceased were-girl who is leaning out of a rear window of the Black house.

I shoot her a look that should have killed her. I scowl because it only seems to make her widen her insolent smile.

"Why, Embry, aren't you smelling as sweet as a meadow in the spring, today._ Nice shirt._"

I swiftly turn my gaze away from her, giving a growl of warning not to continue. Her close proximity is unnerving. Her hair, tickles the side of my face as she continues her quiet torment.

"Been thinking of me?" she murmurs in my ear. I swear she swept her tongue along the whorls of it. The sensation of her bold, wet titillation, combined with the incessant perfume of her brings me from semi-hardened desire to full salute. I dare not move. There's a short silence as I feel her gaze rake my body. I feel heat coil in my belly, knowing she's doing the looking. I don't bother to shift so it's less noticeable.

_Let her look._

"Oh, I see!" she laughs, delighted to have noticed my not so little problem. "_Lusty_ thoughts, then? But, Embry," she gasps theatrically, "YOU haven't _imprinted_ on me, have you? Of course not... but how can this be? You'd have to imprint to have so much lus..."

Her voice trails off as I meet her twinkling brown eyes with my narrow, threatening gaze. A little trepidation glints in the dark depths of her eyes, but she quickly masks it. My breath catches at the sight of her, so beautiful in her triumph of getting me back for the transgression of trying to make her see the truth about her and Sam.

Half out of my mind from fury and sexual provocation, I instinctually reach out to grab the back of her neck and fist the fabric at the front of her shirt. She makes a small feminine sound at being knocked off balance as I pull her chest and her face very close to mine. I feel her shuddering breath.

"If I could choose, Leah, I would imprint on _you_," my voice is a throaty rumble at the back of my throat. I watch her eyes dilate. Her breath hitches for a moment. She recovers too quickly. Her hands move from the window sill and push against my chest. I don't loosen my hold, in fact, I thread my fingers into her short, raven locks, ensuring she has very little space to move. Her contemptuous manner pushes me to the very limit of what my mother taught me is gentlemanly behavior.

"Well, too bad,_ we can't chose_," she spits out at me, color burning into her cheeks, eyes flashing. I watch her return to full hell-cat mode. I can't rip my eyes away from her luscious lips, now curled in vehement outrage. "This is what you get for the other day. You know what they say about payback, Embry. It can be a real..."

"bitch," I snarl, pulling her toward me, forcefully claiming Leah's brassy mouth as my own.

* * *

_Author's Note: My thanks to ItsCuzOfTheFame for her itching powder idea. I just had to use it somewhere! I'm glad it was on Sam and not our leading man._


	14. Confusion Reigns

**Confusion Reigns  
_POV: Leah

* * *

_**

When I feel the heat of Embry's lips against mine, my body goes stock-still. His fist at my shirt-front curls tighter against my chest. The woven cotton material tightens against my shoulder blades. In return, my hands, which had been thrown against his chest for balance, fist into his goGreen. This seems to re-release the scent soaked in the shirt. My own flowery scent fills my head. I hear Embry whimper against my mouth as the same seems to happen for him. This is not a gentle kiss. Embry plunders and demands. I match his ferocity with my own. His fingers wrap more tightly in my hair. It is exhilarating. It makes my head spin.

It has to end.

_Now._

Teasing him? _O.K._

Making him want me until crazed? _Fine._

Making _me_ want _him_ until crazed? _Never._

Falling for him?_ NO, definitely not part of the plan._

I push my hands against him, fighting against his hold the best I can in my off-kilter stance. As a last resort, I sink my teeth into his bottom lip, drawing a little blood. His grip loosens and I finally have his attention. He stops all movement with the sudden realization that I've stopped reciprocating his advances and helps me regain balance. The hand at my shirt moves to my waist, setting me down. His other hand moves from my hair and lingers against the side of my face, before moving to wipe at the trickle of blood at his mouth. With that task complete, he drops his hand to clench it against his side.

For a moment we stare at each other like adversaries in a boxing ring, our breath ragged. His gaze goes dark as I bring a hand up to my mouth, running my fingers against my punished lips.

Cursing under his breath, he breaks our trance. Showing some of the speed from the other day, he turns and moves into the forest. My super hearing picks up his quiet grumble that sounds like, "I'm sorry, Leah."

I don't dare breathe.

To my supreme and utter horror, I realize I'm not the least bit sorry.

* * *

_POV: Sam

* * *

_

I stand on a little up grade between the pack and Embry. From here, I can see the guys, hidden from view of the house, jostling each other. They look a lot like big puppies. It's good to see Jake out of bed and tumbling with them. Being slightly higher on the litte mound of dirt, I am also able to keep an eye on the guy who might be my younger half-brother. Embry's off sulking which is a little unusual. He's usually in the fray, laughing and sending zingers with the best of them when we're together. This incident with the perfume, really got his boxers in a twist. Funny, it's a scent I'm familiar with. I try not to linger on the uncomfortable thought too long.

When Embry's not with the rest, though, he's always bothered me a little with his brooding. He's the quiet type, a crusader for the environment even before becoming a wolf. He always seemed a little more mature, a little more self-assured, a little more knowing, even compared to the likes of me. Lord knows he's had at least the same sort of rotten luck in the father-less department as I do. When you don't have one it forces you to grow up sooner than you want to. Anyway, half-brother or not, he's tied to me indefinitely thanks to our werewolf ways.

Embry knows a lot about me, having been the fourth to phase. He watched me grow into my alpha role. He knew me when I still hadn't gotten a complete grip of my changed life, watched me as my life morphed into what I have now, the leader of the pack, given the position because Jake refuses it. He was there when I imprinted on Emily. He wasn't happy with me and how I dealt with that situation. Hardly anyone was at the time. I handled that whole thing pretty poorly.

I watch a dark head pop out of one of the back windows and realize confusedly that it's Leah conversing with Embry. Her hair is short now. It seems to fit. She's always been spunky and full of fight. Full of love, too, if I choose to remember right. I watch Embry's face turn stony as Leah sports a wide grin. I imagine she's enjoying adding fuel to the raging inferno of annoyance already brought on by the guys. I sit back to watch what I fully expect to be an entertaining exchange between the two. For once, I am not on the receiving end of Leah's talons.

They're too far away to hear, but close enough to see the emotions parading across their faces. As much as it hurts my heart to watch her coming into her own without me, I am glad she's landing on her feet again. I still love her though I believe my future lies with Emily.

What rotten luck that.

I turn back to the two on the porch. To my utter shock, I watch the interaction between them go from argumentative, to heated, and then to downright sizzling.

He's kissing her!

Embry's kissing _my_ Leah!

Unexpected rage and possessiveness shoots through me and I fight against the urge to phase. This hasn't happened in a long time, this inexplicable fight to keep the animal inside from tearing forth.

I keep my anger at bay reminding myself that Leah is _not_ mine. I'd given up that right a little more than a year ago. She deserves to be happy and have her own life. This thought helps me to get a grip before I lose it completely. But why Embry? Why another werewolf who hasn't imprinted, another one of us who could potentially rip her heart out all over again?!

I start moving toward them as I watch her trying to wiggle out of his embrace. Suddenly, Embry stops and drops his hold. They are staring at each other now. Both of them just staring. A second more of her fighting against him and I would have rushed to intervene.

I watch him brusquely turn and run away.

_Good! _

The shock of what I just witnessed has me shuddering.

But what's more shocking is I find myself rushing into the forest after him.

* * *

_POV: Embry

* * *

_

I hear someone tearing after me and am troubled to find that I'm half-hoping, half-fearing, that it's Leah. Throughly disgusted with myself for what happened on the porch, I realize what I need to do.

"Go away!" This time it's my turn to growl at her approach.

A louder, deeper snarl surprises me. I stop in my tracks.

_Sam_.

Oh, wonderful! This day has officially gone from pretty crappy to stepping in turd on the way to a job interview while wearing girlie perfume kind of stinking bad.

"What?!" I shout at him, turning to face him, my dark bangs whipping against my forehead.

I am gratified to notice Sam take a step back at the fierce tone of my voice. He seems to reconsider his initial approach.

"What was _that_ back there?" he fumes.

I momentarily search for the answer and decide on the truth.

"I don't know."

"You better figure it out fast, pup," he growls. "I don't like it."

Something bursts inside of me like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Except it's not a happy burst, it's the kind that is a precursor to me turning into a wolf. How dare he pull rank on me! I beat back the desire to phase and attack, forcing myself to face Sam as a man.

"You might get to tell me what to do when we're wolves," I seethe through gritted teeth. "But you don't get to dictate what I do with my life. I don't give a rat's ass if you like it or not. And you don't have a say about Leah, either. Not anymore."

He winces at my enraged assessment. He knows I'm right, but it's not stopping him from warning me off.

"You have no idea what you're playing with. You are not allowed to hurt her," he sends me his forceful command.

"Why, because you want _that_ job all to yourself?" I ask sarcastically. "You have, after all, been doing such a damn fine job of it."

I want to provoke him. I've been itching for a fight all day.

He makes a quick movement as if to tackle me, and I drop into a defensive stance. Unfortunately, he stops himself short and appears defeated as my words sink in.

"Embry, you know it couldn't have been helped," Sam's snarl still holds a warning.

"Yes, it could have been helped!" I nearly shout in supreme frustration. I feel my hands curl into fists.

"You don't know a damn thing about imprinting," he barks roughly, as though it's _my_ fault he was in the sorry situation he was in a year ago. "I couldn't help hurting her."

"No, I don't know anything about imprinting," I quickly admit, my body relaxing. "But I do know something about love."

Sam stares at me, not sure what to make of what I'm saying.

"You didn't love Leah enough to fight to keep her. You left that strong girl broken and alone. The reason she's hurting, Sam, even now after all this time? That's on you. You left her with no where to turn. Now she's forced into this whole other nightmare where you get to call the shots." I don't take care to spare his feelings. "No, you don't get a say in _this_, Sam, not this time. Not any more."

I turn to go.

"And you do?" his question is regretful, "Do you love her, Embry?"

I move farther into the woods, leaving him without answers to his questions.


	15. TopsyTurvy

**Topsy-Turvy  
_POV: Leah

* * *

_**

As soon as Embry enters the forest, I slump like a rag doll over the window sill. I allow myself to pitch forward so that the edge of the low wall digs into my belly. The summer sun warms my now exposed back, and my fingertips graze the wooden porch. Inside the house, on the other side of the window, my feet are planted wide to keep myself from falling out onto the porch and my knees dig into the low wall beneath the window frame. The stretch of my muscles almost feels ... good. I idly think there just might be something to the whole thing about yoga bringing about inner peace.

I close my eyes, bring my fingertips to my brow, and try to convince myself that what just happened - that heart pounding, breathtaking kiss - didn't _really_ happen. I can't quite swing myself far enough forward to repeatedly bang my forehead against the outer wall. I believe hammering my head into oblivion might give me enough pain to rid myself of the memory of Embry's lips against mine.

"So, are you just ... uh... _hanging_ around?" a deep, laughing voice greets me to my left, right in front of the back door.

Still slung over the window sill, I turn my head to fix a glare at whichever annoying, idiot werewolf is bothering to mess with me right now.

_Jake. _

_Great. Just great._

"Shut up, Jake."

I don't change my awkward physical stance and am amused when his eyebrows arch up in surprise that I don't attempt to adjust myself into a more comfortable position.

"Is that all you've got, Leah? Something must've scrambled your brains just now because you usually have better comebacks then just, 'Shut up, Jake.'" I hear his incredulity in his sorry imitation of my sneer.

"You didn't see anything, then?" I ask. My voice so overwhelmed with hopefulness that I belatedly realize I just piqued his curiosity with my expectant response.

_Oh, crap, he's coming closer._

I warily watch Jakes' approach and try to halt him before he gets nearer.

"Don't you have to use the potty or something?" I rudely query, trying to distract him. "Isn't that why you came back to the house?"

"No, I came looking for Bella. Don't try to change the subject," he scolds, patting the back of my head, having supreme nerve to sit cross-legged next to my still dangling upper body. I can feel the warmth of him beside me and still, I keep my front half hanging out the window. Looking at him, I now have the unusual perspective of the underside of his chiseled chin.

"Boys suck," I mutter. Not meaning for him to hear, well, not really.

He snickers.

"So, has some _boy_ been _suck-_ing on your face, Leah?"

I shoot him a hateful glare. I can feel a warm blush steal up my cheeks. _How is blushing even possible anyway?_ I thought all the blood was already in my head from being upside down like this. Unfortunately, the wolf beside me isn't one to allow my red face to go unnoticed.

"Ahhhh. I see Embry's finally given into his baser instincts? Good for him!" Jake's smile seems sincere, but swiftly turns thoughtful. "You don't seem deliriously happy, though, Was he _that_ bad at kissing?" I can hear the laughter in his obnoxious question.

My mouth is a wide-O, matching my wide-eyed stare.

"What-!? Did he say anything to-?! How do you know about Em-?!" I splutter, so shocked that I can't quite seem to complete a sentence.

Jake snorts.

"My body might still be a little broken, Leah, but I'm not blind and my sense of smell works fine, too. That wolf's got a thing for you. And you pouring your scent all over him has me thinking that you might have a little sumthin' sumthin' for him, too." Jake nudges my shoulder with his as he says this. The insinuation his words hold hits me square in the face. I hadn't realized how powerful scent might be in my whole revenge plan. I knew what I wanted to do, _sort of_, but I hadn't realized it would backfire like _this_. I groan.

Loudly.

"So, satisfy my curiosity," Jake's wolfish grin catches me off guard. I still can't believe he's actually talking to me without malice, disappointment, or desire. It's weird, almost like... friendship. "Why are you not happy with him smooching you?"

"Not that it's any of your damn business, you bastard, but I don't know what to do _now_." As I respond, I try unsuccessfully to haul myself up to end the conversation, but my balance is off and I nearly knock the wind out of my body by slamming my back against the hanging window pane above me. I see Jake wince a little, but the jerk that he is does nothing to help me. He knows he's got me pinned and he's hoping I'll elaborate, I guess.

"So just stop worrying," Jake shrugs. "Why not let_ it_... whatever you and Embry have got going... happen?"

I stare at him, thunderstruck. Does he seriously NOT know why I can't do that?! I close my eyes and shake my head in frustration.

"Well, let's see, Jake, why don't you answer me this: What do Sam, Jared, Quil and Paul have that you, Embry and I don't?"

I wait two heartbeats and steal a glance at him. A light seems to go on in the numbskull's head. I roll my eyes as he let's out a long, "Ohhhhhhhhh, yeah, I forgot about _that_!"

"Duh! As if I would even allow the possibility of a relationship with Embry with even a tiny possibility of him imprinting," I turn my face to the wall, muttering my admission. "I'm not even sure how I feel about him and even if I did want to, you know, be _with_ him, there is NO way I'm doing _that_ to myself again, Jake! Never."

"I haven't imprinted, but Bella's taking that chance with me."

"Well, goody for you, dogface. But you know what?_ I'm not Bella._ Yes, we both experienced devastating heartbreak. But Jake, that leech came back to her and she got to choose who to be with._ That's the difference, Jake!" _I can hear my voice reaching a crescendo. "She found herself whole enough to _choose_ you. Sam left me, Jake! Sam was my other half. I don't have someone to help me pick up the pieces like you did for Bella. I'm still not whole, Jake. I'm just NOT! Sam never came back after he imprinted on Emily," I break off my tirade, choking back a sob.

We sit in pregnant silence.

"Sam still cares, Leah." Jake says softly, his hands at his knees, his gaze out to the forest.

"Yeah, I know," I sigh sadly. "I can feel it, too. But it's not enough, Jake. It was never enough. Emily still has him and I'm still alone."

"You don't have to be alone, Leah. Embry can help you pick up the pieces."

"But what if he has to leave me for his imprint while helping me puzzle myself back together? I don't want to ask it of him," I voice the thoughts I didn't even know I'd played with. "I hurt every time I feel Sam hurting for me, still loving me in that sad, pitiful way he does. And you know what the sick thing is, Jake? Despite the hurt, I feel _good_ about making him still feel something, anything, for me. That's why I'm torturing the entire pack. It's sadistic! And, what if the same happens with Embry, Jake? I can't have two of them in my head if it happens! I. Just. Can't." I gaze forelornly at the guy beside me as I grip the sides of my head, now pounding because I'm still hanging upside down.

I watch Jake get on his knees in front of me. He roughly handles me at my shoulders and for a fleeting moment I think he's going to do something stupid like hug me or kiss me. He's _that_ close. I know he feels pity, it's sloughing off of him, coming at me in waves.

_Ugh! I hate knowing he feels sorry for me!_

Thankfully, all he does is move to shove me through the open window frame so I can prop myself up on my elbow against the sill, facing him, right side up.

"So, you think you have to do _this_ on your own," he asks gruffly, roughly settling back against the wall next to the window as soon as I'm upright.

"Yes," I say, with fake bravado. "There's no _thinking_ about it. It's the way it _has_ to be."

* * *

POV: Embry

* * *

"And you do?" Sam's question is regretful, "Do you love her, Embry?"

Sam's question reverberates in my head as I run, still a man, to my favorite spot in the woods, where the trees tower and the sound of a gurgling brook soothes my tattered nerves. I lean against a moss-covered log, my hands raking my face. I think about Sam's questions. I pull off my fragrant shirt and let it soak in the water beside the log. Even still the scent of her lingers on my skin.

It's maddening.

_I don't know if I love her. But I certainly care about her more than Sam ever did,_ I decide.

_Of course I have a say. I say my life can't be entangled with hers right now. I won't be the rebound guy. I want her. I've always wanted her. From the moment I saw her on Sam's arm to just this moment when I indulged in a long-held fantasy. I have wanted Leah Clearwater. I care what happens to her. I just know we can't have anything remotely resembling love right now. She's not herself, and if I'm in the picture, the mess that I am, she'll never become who she's meant to be._

I pull the shirt out of the stream and wring it out. Holding it in my grasp, I come to standing, and make my way home.

* * *

POV: Bella

* * *

From inside the house, I see and hear everything that transpires between Leah and the two different men who have been on the porch with her at two separate times.

I have the hidden vantage point of seeing the clear want in Embry's face after that devastating kiss that took even my breath away.

I hear the hope in Jake's voice as he tries to talk Leah into allowing Embry into her life.

I hear and see the despair in Leah, a despair I don't quite understand, but hope to help her move away from.

I listen to Jake move into the house and I rush over to hug him. He quickly releases me and without words, I understand that he hopes I'll take his absence on the porch as time to talk to Leah. As rough as he is with her, he is surprisingly sensitive to her situation and asks me to be patient with her, cheering on our unlikely friendship.

I heave a sigh and make my way over to Leah at the window. I clear my throat, making my presence known. She swings her face toward mine, sighs, then slumps over, sliding with her back against the wall, sitting long-legged on the floor. Her sigh is ragged. Her hands are at her face, hiding silent tears she refuses to let me see. I see them anyway, but pretend not to notice.

I put a hand on her shoulder. She moves her hand to grip mine. She looks at me, so sad. I pull her into a hug that only best girl friends can share, and she hugs me back, trying not to weep. It feels like she needs my arms to hold her together. I recognize that feeling of reaching a breaking point.

She's been so brave by herself for so long.

I know how that feels, even if I only felt it for a fleeting moment.

This girl, my friend, will always be infinitely stronger and braver than me.

She finally moves away, but we keep eye contact.

"We're still going to do what we planned. Right, Bella?" There's desperation in her voice.

I inwardly gasp at the neediness there. She's my best friend, my only female one, and I know - we both know - that we need this.

"Yes, Leah," I say nodding emphatically. "We're still going to do it, just like we planned."


	16. Dog Days

**Dog Days of Summer  
_POV: Embry

* * *

_**

_**a week later....**_

I walk into the night club with the guys from work and spot the last two girls I ever thought I'd run into at Club Aptitude in Port Angeles.

Leah appears to be more than satisfactorily inebriated, bumping and grinding with several unknown guys out on the floor. One of them keeps pushing up against her and I feel my mouth move into a snarl as I watch his less than suave mating dance. Bella is beside her, casting worried glances at her. If I wasn't so pissed, I'd find it almost comical, watching Bella's eyes move in time with the dude's every butt bump.

_Where is Jake? _

I send a half-smile to my work pals who are trying to get me to follow them onto the dance floor. I make a motion towards the bar, they don't really know how young I am. I've got Sam's old ID that I lifted from his room months ago. They let me go. Instead of getting a drink, though, I make my way to an open table where I can sit and keep an eye on both of the girls from home. I off-handedly shoo off a tipsy female who tries to pull herself in my lap. She's miffed at my preoccupied dismissal. According to her grating whine, I had allowed her to indulge in this act a week ago, when I was here trying desperately to forget a certain weregirl and her amazingly hot lips. I scowl at the unwanted girl's tinny protestations. At last, she absorbs the message of my sulky silence and slinks away.

_Why are Leah and Bella here?_

The question eats away at me, and after at last feeling the weight of my unblinking stare, Bella catches my eye.

_Finally!_

I take her acknowledgment of me as an invitation onto the floor and get up to join them. I absently push gyrating bodies away, taking extra special care to shove the guy grinding up against Leah with a little more force than necessary. He casts me a dirty look, but when he takes in my immense size, he thinks better of attacking me, and instead moves on to another nearby girl. I now have both Bella and Leah within arm's reach.

"Whaddahell didya do that for?" slurs Leah, shaky on her three-inch heels, but still pumping her upper body to the rhythmic beat of the music. I stealthily peruse her fine form, clad in a skin-tight outfit. The dipping neckline of her clingy, white blouse and the flimsiness of her black mini-skirt leaves precious little to the imagination, putting her most delectable feminine parts on succulent display. She notices my discreet survey of her - the minx! In her intoxicated state, I'm not sure if she completely realizes what she's doing as she pulls herself up against me.

"The guys in this place say that I have the nicest ass here." Her lips brush mine as she breathes the words that threaten to bring a flush to my already hot skin. I feel the grip of her fingers latch onto the soft material of my crisp button down work shirt - bigwig meeting today, couldn't go casual.

She catches me off guard when she turns suddenly and pushes her backside against me. I grab hold of her hips and push her slightly away as I feel myself reacting to her lush bottom against my front.

Bella's eyes go wide, she turns away quickly, muttering something about needing to find the restroom. I catch Bella's wrist as she moves to go. I loudly tell her to come find us when she's done. I don't let her go until I see her nod. After I'm satisfied that she'll return, I swivel back to reset my two-handed grip on Leah, who's wiggling to try to get closer to me, still writhing to the music. She turns only her face to me. I discover that it's quite a provocative pose.

"Is it true?" she asks. My werewolf hearing focuses in on her voice alone.

"Wh- What?"

"That I have a nice ass?... You're staring again."

"Oh! No! I mean, you do have a nice-" My eyes move to her perfectly rounded rear, embarrassed, my lips purse against each other as I turn to find a sultry smile snaking its way onto her lips. "Leah, what are you doing here?" I ask roughly, angry that she was able to bring me to this state of near mindlessness so quickly.

"We're celebrating, big boy," she says, turning fully around, her hand on my left bicep. Facing me now, only inches away, my hands still and loosen at her hips. "It's a going away party for me and Bella," she smiles widely as she explains. She tosses her head as if she still had her long dark mane to drape and fall softly around her shoulders. Instead, the sharp movement almost causes her to topple over and I grip her more tightly to keep her standing.

"Really, now?" I ask, frowning as I realize she's had far too much to drink. "Where are you going? And if it's a party, why wasn't I invited? Where's everyone else?"

"Ha! It's a _private_ party, silly," she bats her eyes and swats at me. "No one but Bella and I... and every guy here - except your sorry ass, which is actually pretty nice, really (_I swallow the lump in my throat and will my body not to react to her drunken words._) is invited. What do you care anyway? Haven't seen you out and about since..."

There's a flicker in her dark eyes. Even in her sorry state, she won't admit our lip-lock happened, and I refuse to think about it. Fortunately, Bella chooses this moment to return. I grab hold of both of their arms and steer them out the door onto the sidewalk, next to the valet parking guys and a bunch of smokers.

"Why are you here?" My question is aimed at Bella who is now staring at the cement and her painted toes in her open-toe sandals. I don't know why I find that odd. Apparently, not only did Bella allow Leah to drag her here, she also allowed Leah to dress her, too. She's shivering in her tank top and too-short skirt.

"It's an experiment that I'm allowing Leah to indulge in," Bella says to me, her chin lifting in defiance.

"That's not what _she_ says," I say exasperated, letting go of their arms. Leah wanders off with a swaying gait toward the guys having a smoke. I train a wary eye on her as I continue to talk to the one who appears to be the sober designated driver. "Bella, what is going on?"

She eyes me warily.

"You can't tell Jake," her eyes are pleading. "Promise!"

I groan, audibly.

"You know I won't be able to keep any secrets from him," I say. "Especially when we're wolves. That's not fair, Bella."

"It'll only be a few more days, 'kay? Can you not tell Jake, please?!"

I think I can keep from phasing until next weekend, so I say yes. "As long as you tell him by next weekend I can keep the promise, Bella."

She sighs, unhappy to be forced to tell Jake whatever she's about to tell me. I look over Bella's shoulder to find that Leah is getting awfully friendly with the guys over there. I'm distracted for a minute, trying not to growl at her to stop.

_She better not be taking that cigarette!_

"Embry!" I hear Bella sharply say my name and I avert my gaze to her. "Embry, she hasn't been the same since you kissed her last weekend."

_Newsflash! Neither have I!_

I remain silent, as Bella continues. I'm still trying to figure out how she knew about what happened on the porch.

"Ever since, she's dropped whatever mayhem she'd planned for you and now she's out to prove that my relationship with Jake is temporary. That's why I'm at this _stupid_ place. She wants to see if she can break Jake and me up."

"What?!" I nearly shout. "And you're _allowing_ this? You want me to keep _this_ from Jake?! No way, Bella!"

"NO! _That's_ not the part I'm asking you to keep secret. She's out to prove that imprints last and that since Jake hasn't imprinted on me, our relationship is bound to fail. _That_ all started after _you_ told her _your_ imprint theory. But, anyway, Jake knows this part already," she shakes her head with frustration. I try to keep up while still keeping an eye on Leah, who's now leaning against the side of one guy who looks a little too dark and dangerous for me to be comfortable.

_So, _**I'm**_ to blame for Leah's outrageous behavior?!_

"OK, keep going," I urge Bella to go on with some frustration. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around Bella's accusation. "I have to think about what you're saying she's doing and why, but hurry on with the rest." My murderous gaze keeps shifting over Bella's shoulder to Leah who's laughing flirtatiously now. Her skirt's riding up her well-toned thigh as she rubs her hand along her leg in a fake effort to keep warm, purposely drawing every red-blooded males' eye to her long, lean-

_I swear, I am going to haul that girl over my shoulder and lock her up!_

Bella gulps at the dangerous expression on my face and turns to look at Leah, too. She gasps and moves away from me, for a second. She moves to pull our friend off the swarthiest looking guy in the group as I stand there watching, cooling my heels. Leah, shakes her head at Bella. The leather-clad man waves Bella away as Leah tightens her hold on his arm. I grit my teeth. I wait for Bella to come back, but keep a wary eye on the stranger and Leah.

"_This_ is the part you can't tell Jake, Embry."

I nod, steeling myself.

"We're going away," she says quietly.

I stare at her.

"Who's going away?" I ask, confused.

"Leah and me."

_Whoa, wait a minute!_

"What?!"

"I'm going to university and I'm taking Leah with me."

I try to digest her words. When I shift my vision, all I can see is red as I spy chimneytop, leather-dude snake his arm around the girl I was kissing just last week. I don't bother to excuse myself from Bella and angrily stalk over to where Leah is flaunting herself.

"Excuse me," I say as calmly as I can muster, staring down the man who Leah's managed to drape herself all over. "She's with me."

The guy takes in my clear agitation. He stares up, registering my height. I'm a full head taller than him. He takes in the breadth of my chest and the swelling muscles of my arms. I silently thank whatever diety that is looking over Leah tonight for sending her to the one dude who appears the most clear-headed of his counterparts. I say this because he's backing away from Leah like she's contracted some real funky, contagious disease.

Some days it does pay to be a werewolf.

"Embry, you're taking away all my fun," Leah whines with a pretty pout. She stumbles but rights herself as she allows me to guide her away, lean her against my arm.

"She's had a little too much to drink," I say apologetically. My Captain Obvious comment is rewarded with lazy nods from swarthy guy and his menagerie of cigarette-sucking friends.

"Let's go, Leah," I whisper into her ear, unconsciously trying to catch her scent under the smell of smoke and booze in her hair. She acquiesces and Bella runs up to join us.

"I was trying to get him for you," Leah grumbles, turning to Bella, jutting her thumb out at the guy under the lingering smoke. Bella shakes her head.

"This whole thing about breaking Jake and me up, Leah, it's not going to work," Bella says emphatically.

"That's what you think," Leah sneers toward Bella's general direction. Then in a conspiratorial whisper, with her eyelids lowering, she adds, "I brought this girl to Jake's garage the other day and he couldn't stop looking at her, undressing her with his eyes."

I watch, horrified, as Leah moves her face closer to Bella, who is now wincing, looking like she's ready to cry.

I shake Leah.

"Stop it!" I yell at her. But, I flash on a memory of this day. Jake met up with me after work, so, it must have been after the visit with Leah and mystery girl. That afternoon, he spent most of our time together vehemently cussing Leah out. The surprise visit must've been the cause of his fury, because Jake sure was in a hurry to get to Bella after she was done with work.

_Man, Sam's imprinting really screwed Leah up nice and good!_

"Bella, don't listen to her," I say softly, so she won't start with the tears.

"I know, Embry, don't worry," she mumbles back. "She's said worse before."

"What!?" I ask incredulously, questioning her sanity and duly saddened by the knowledge of Leah's cruelty. "Why do you hang out with her, then?"

"She's my friend. And she needs me," Bella moves to grab onto Leah's other arm as the girl between us loses consciousness. "Embry, she needs _all_ of us."

"Geeze, Bella, how much has she had to drink?" I ask ignoring the imploring look that Bella shoots at me.

"I don't know, Embry, but it was a really bad day for her. I can forgive her for this. After all, she just accepted Emily's request to be a bridesmaid at her and Sam's wedding. It's in January, you know."

_Oh, could it get any worse for Leah?!_

_"_Stop looking at me like that, Embry! I think Leah's entitled to drink herself to oblivion tonight. I came mostly to make sure she was safe._"_

"Look, Bella, do you have a car or something?" I ask, pushing away my anger at Emily and Sam for their extreme insensitivity and my infuriation with Jake for allowing this night to happen without his presence.

_Don't these two know what could have happened if I wasn't here?!_

"Yeah, it's over there." She points to the club lot and I walk the girls over to the car. It's the red truck. I smile at the good luck. I wait for Bella to open the passenger side door and deposit Leah inside. I move to the far end of the parking lot and grab up my motorcycle. I thank goodness for superhuman strength as I haul it over to Bella's car and deposit it into the truck bed.

"Any chance you'll let me drive?" I ask Bella who's staring at me open-mouthed in supreme shock at how causally I lifted the motorcycle. I seriously didn't think anything could surprise her after all she'd already seen! Anyway, her cross look right after dashed all hope for a car ride back without Leah lying on me. Clearly, no, I was not getting behind the wheel.

Bella opens the passenger side door and as she climbs into the driver's side, I settle Leah in between us. She's like a ragdoll and when I find my seat beside her, she moves to wrap herself against my side.

I groan.

It's gonna be a long ride home.

To stay comfortable, I sling one arm around her. Bella clears her throat, but says nothing. The car interior is quiet, the radio non-existent. I don't ask about the gaping hole in the dashboard. It looks like animals clawed out whatever electronic gizmo used to be embedded in it.

I try to focus on anything else but Leah's breath and how her curves and softness press against me. I am trying not to think about how this is making me feel.

"So, college, huh?" I croak as Leah's hand finds it's way onto my upper thigh. I grab her wrist and move it back to her own knee. Bella catches the movement and I see a whisper of a smile on her face.

"Yeah. I got accepted into Dartmouth and I really want to go. My parents are supporting me and I think it's the right move for now."

"But you just got together with Jake," I say, confused.

"And, we will stay together," she answers the question I won't ask. "Embry, normal high school graduates leave their sweethearts in September for college-life _every_ year. What I'm doing is not unusual. In fact, it's probably the most normal thing I've done since moving to Forks," she sighs, pushing a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. "Jake and I will be apart, yes, but we'll each grow up this way, and hopefully we'll still love each other despite the changes we'll go through while we're not in the same town."

I don't say anything as I think about what she's telling me.

"So, why's Leah going?" I ask.

"Is that a _real_ question, Embry?" Bella turns to look at me while waiting for a green light. She stares back at the road after she sees me nod. "She wants to go to college, to study theater. She thought she'd have that opportunity before her dad died, before Sam left her. She's lost now. Before I came to her with news of Datmouth's late acceptance, she thought that she'd be stuck in La Push forever. She wants to pave a new road for herself, _without_ a guy. She wants to do this. Alone. Besides, what does she have to keep her here?"

_She has ME!_ I want to bellow, but know it's not true, since I refuse to allow whatever it is between us from seeing the light of day.

"She needs to get away," Bella says, her expression hard as she continues. "This is a safe way to do that. It's easy for me to offer her a place in my life out there. I'd welcome the company and the friendship. But, really, I think she needs _this_ more than I do. She needs space to find herself. Freedom."

We're at a red light again and Bella turns to me, looking at me over Leah's slumbering body. Her stare is knowing as she adds, "It's also a gift _you_ can give her."

I stiffen as I suddenly feel Leah's softly questing, scorching, wet lips against the side of my neck. An unintentional small sound of pleasure leaves the back of my throat as I try to stop her from moving in on me. As it is, I'm running out of hands to keep her at bay.

Apparently, Leah's a real flirt when she's drunk.

With hands white-knuckled on the wheel, Bella, frowns and guns the motor. She avoids eye contact during the rest of the way to Leah's house.

We get to Leah's house where all the lights but the one illuminating the front porch is out. There are no cars to signal Sue's inside and I know that Seth is out with Jared. It's still summer, after all. I'm at a loss. I wrack my brain trying to think how to get her inside.

"The key's in her purse," Bella reminds me quietly.

_Right. _I mentally slap my forehead.

"Do you want me to help?"

I take a look at this fragile human girl, the dark shadows under her eyes more visible now that we've arrived and I know she still has a bit of a drive to Charlie's. I realize that Leah's put her through quite a lot the past week, and most especially tonight. I don't want to ask her to do more, but I don't want to worry her about my intentions, innocent or not. She, maybe, knows more of my history than I'm comfortable with, considering who her boyfriend is.

"Let me take my bike out from the back of your truck," I say carefully, meeting her gaze. "Then, can you help me open the door? I can take it from there."

She nods as I shift Leah over to her. Leah lets out a frustrated grumble as I release her from my one-armed embrace. It warms me, this reluctance from her to let me go, but I try valiantly not to show it.

I lope out of the car and retrieve my motorbike. The task done, I return to the truck's cab. I easily pull Leah into my arms. She's such a little thing compared to me. Bella's even tinier. She grabs Leah's purse, fumbles through it and moves ahead to open the door.

I've got Leah cradled in my arms and she's sleepily wrapped her arms around my neck, nestling closer against me. Bella sneaks uncomfortable looks at me.

"Maybe I should stay," she finally finds the courage to say. I'd expected no less of her, and I had a ready answer.

"Bella, you're nearly asleep on your feet and you still need to get home before Charlie has a fit." She nods, knowing how close to a grounding she's been getting with all the messing around La Push these last couple of weeks. Even so, she casts me a warning glare.

"Don't mess with her, Embry. She might seem tough, but she's fragile right now. Just put her in bed and walk away. I'm calling Seth as soon as I get home."

I nod, duly reprimanded.

"I wouldn't take advantage of her when she's like this, Bella," I sigh, annoyed she'd think me capable of it. "You know I'm more honorable than that."

"Do I?" she asks, tossing the question at me, her tired eyes, newly aflame. The look that crosses her face tells me that she knows more about me than I expected.

"I won't. I promise."

She stares at me a second longer, sizing me up. Seemingly satisfied with whatever she's seen, she saunters out the front door. I hear it click behind her and I purposely stay rooted to the floor long enough to hear the gun of the truck's ignition a minute later.

When all is silent again, I sigh and look at the vulnerable girl in my arms.

I turn to complete my heroic task and only then does it occur to me that I have no idea which room is hers.

* * *

_A/N: Two things:_

1.** Fanfictiondotnet's technical difficulties kept me away.** You would not believe the hassle it was to figure out how to post this using the export function. Thanks to everyone manning the writer generated support forums. I am thankful you exist!

2. Was listening to the RENT soundtrack and had to use those lines from the song "Light My Fire." They seemed sassy enough for Leah to use against Embry, so I lifted them without remorse. Alas, they do not belong to me.


	17. Touching Love

**Touching Love**

**

* * *

**

Groaning softly, Leah shifts in my arms, drawing my attention back to her. I long to wash the cigarette smoke from her hair and to cleanse the stench of alcohol from her breath.

_Smell._

It suddenly occurs to me that I can use my super olfactory glands to figure out which room is hers. The scent of wildflowers emanates most strongly from the room at the end of the upstairs hall, furthest away from the front door.

I carry her into that room, so feminine for a girl who hangs with guys all the time. I wonder at the varying degrees of pink and red hues surrounding me. Thinking a little more about the curious dichotomy, I realize Leah isn't actually a tomboy and pack life is obviously not of her own choosing.

I am vastly relieved that the room does lack laces and frills. I think if it had even a hint of the girlie-girl stuff, I would definitely have had to rib her about it once she was sober enough to appreciate my efforts. What strikes me most is the classiness of her surroundings: straight, modern lines. It is clear that she'd put a lot of thought and care into the room she lived in.

Leah shifts against me again and I realize she can't be all that comfortable. So, I move her a little more over my shoulder as I bend to pull the bedcovers back. I gently lay her down and pull off her shoes. How the girl is able to walk in these heels will forever be a mystery to me. I toy with the knowledge that she'd likely be more comfortable without the tight clothes, but refrain from doing anything about it since the short skirt and shirt are already riding up to reveal too much skin. I'd seen Leah in the buff before, so, the sight of her now really shouldn't be doing the things it was doing to me right about now.

To give myself some relief, I pull a light sheet over her. I keep it to one cotton sheet, knowing how I like to sleep since I produce enough heat to melt a small village in Alaska.

I go out to the kitchen and get her a glass of water to put at her bedside. It seems likely she'll need it in the morning, along with some aspirin. I go to rummage around in the bathroom, find the right bottle and place two pills on her nightstand next to a glass of H2O.

The task done, I indulge myself in a quiet moment of watching her in peaceful slumber. She presents such a sweet picture that I bend to give her an innocent kiss on the forehead. Unwilling to leave, I absently brush the hair out of her face.

She stirs.

"Daddy?"

My breath stops.

My hand stills.

My heart breaks a little.

The sad neediness in her voice is one I knew all too well as a younger boy.

I wrestle with whether to tell her the truth, or offer her exactly what she needs. I settle on something in between.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart." I manage to quietly choke out. My hand still smoothening her hair.

I reluctantly move to pull away, but she grabs hold of my wrist. "I've missed you so much," she whimpers as though desperately holding on to a wisp of a dream. "Please stay."

I hear her words, knowing she's calling out to her dad, but in my heart I want her plea to be for me.

I hesitate.

"Please stay," she repeats with child-like yearning.

I waver.

Her grasp loosens against my wrist, seeming to sense that I will not go.

I sigh.

It is in this moment when I realize with great clarity that there is very little I wouldn't do for this girl.

I sit down beside her pillow. In the darkness, I place her head and shoulders on my lap, her face is away from me and I continue to stroke her hair. I feel her breath even out and just when I think she is asleep, and am about to ease her back into bed, Leah speaks again.

"I love you."

I dare not move. I silently rest the back of my head on the wall behind the headboard. I close my eyes and savor the moment, imagining it's me she's speaking to.

"I love you too, Leah," I whisper softly.

**_

* * *

The next morning...

* * *

_**

There is an unnaturally bright light coursing though my window. It's Washington state for crissakes, it should _never_ be _this_ sunny in here!

There is a very annoying someone in my room who is speaking to me, but I can't understand the loud booming voice.

_Oh, fu- ugh! My head!_

The inside of my mouth feels like I swallowed my entire stash of cotton balls. I find that I am desperately thirsty.

"Stop yelling," I croak. "Geezus, stop yelling."

_Lord, even my own voice reverberates in my head. Ear-splitting ringing. Please, please make it STOP! I promise to be good. I promise never to think evil thoughts or spout rude and crude things from my mouth to get back at men ever, EVER, again. Just make the pain go away! Just. Make. It. Go. Away._

I wait a moment, hoping for an answer to my prayers.

And I find I am still hurting all over.

I groan.

_There truly is no God!_

I will my hand to my face and wipe the grit out of my, still heavily made up, eyes. I gingerly swivel my head on my neck, slowly testing to see if it is still fully functional. I feel like I've been put through the ringer and lost a battle with a crazed vampire.

Even my eyeballs moving in my eye sockets hurt to holy hell.

I slowly lift my gaze to my bedside clock and spy a glass of water beside it.

_Ah! Nectar of the gods!_

I attempt to reach out to the glass, nearly knocking it over. It is a Herculean task to move my body upright in order to take a drink. The shock of pain makes my eyes cross. It is _that_ agonizing.

The voice is still making words. I think that's what they are, anyway. It's a girl's voice. Yes, she is still talking, though softer now. Yes, I can now make sense of the words in my head.

_Thank you. Quieter. _

"Where's Embry?"

_Wha-? What kind of fu- ugh! ... question is that? Why was she asking about Embry?_

"Bella?!" I ask. "Bella? It's you, right?! What the hell happened last night?"

_Holy Hell! Is that my voice?_ _Stop shouting, _ I curse at myself. _Am I trying to kill myself?_

"Of course it's me," Bella says, annoyed, at least I think she is. She looks at me and then comes to stand closer to the bed. I know she's examining me.

The sipping of water somewhat helps me get my senses back in order.

"Well, at least you still have your clothes on," she says primly. "_That's_ a good sign."

"Can you please clue me into what you are blathering about," I ask impatiently, finding there is aspirin right next to where I place down the glass.

_Thank the little anti-hangover fairy! _

I grab it up, pop it into my mouth, and swallow.

"Embry brought you back here and-" I narrow my eyes as she gives me a once-over. "I guess he tucked you in."

I lift the sheet and peer beneath it. All my clothes, though wrinkled, seem to be in place.

_He wouldn't have taken advantage of me anyway. _

"He wouldn't have taken advantage of you anyway," I hear my friend echo my thoughts out loud. "You were barely conscious."

"You... left me with _him_? _Alone_?!"

"I could hardly carry you in myself, Leah," Bella's gaze is penetrating.

"You could've stuck around!"

_ I can't believe she violated the number one girlfriend rule. There are rules, right!?_

"I'd already called Seth to go home by the time I hit the road outside of your driveway," she responded quickly, "Besides, it was clear Embry didn't want me to stick around. And honestly, you pissed me off."

_Seriously now... I was drunk! What did she expect?_

"What did I do?!" I ask, alarmed.

"You mean, _besides_ plaster yourself onto every guy in sight?" at my sudden intake of breath she cruelly adds, "Yes, that's right! You did make extra efforts to paste yourself all over _Embry_. You also did something else too-"

I groan and fall back onto my bed, arm flung over my eyes to block out the maddening brightness and hoping the dramatics might stop her from saying aloud what I already know will be horrifyingly embarrassing.

"-You told him we were leaving."

_I did, what?!_

"Oh, Shit," I mutter. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

"_Exactly_," she replies, less frantic now that I've expressed how I truly know the error of my ways. "Now I have to speed up my timeline and tell Jake before I'm really ready to. So, Leah, I am incredibly _mad_ at you, right now!"

"Please don't yell," I whisper.

"Sorry! Oh!" she whispers, patting my shoulder apologetically. "Anyway, you have to go and convince Embry to give me a couple more days." She's pleading with me now, pulling at my arm. Bella seems to suddenly notice my grimace and leaves me be. I peek out from under my elbow hoping she'd gone, but find her rummaging through my accessories drawer.

"What are you do-" I splutter.

_No one goes through me accessories drawer! She's messing it all up!_

I stop asking as soon as my favorite pair of big black sunglasses hits my chest.

"Put those on," super-bossy Bella commands, throwing me some jeans and a t-shirt as well.

_Sheesh! where is _**_this_**_ coming from?!_

"Bella! Knock it off. I need to sleep, please!"

"It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Leah! You've already slept the day away! Get up! You have to go talk to Embry!"

I move slowly, put on my shades and start peeling off my clothes to take a shower. I growl at the girl in my room to get out if she wanted me to act human.

"i don't care what you do, Leah," her words are thankfully muffled outside the door. "Just convince Embry that I need at least a couple more days after this weekend to tell Jake. Please!"

Grumbling, I carefully pull myself off my mattress.

_Damn it all to hell! I really don't want to go and see Embry!_

Who knows how many ways I made a complete idiot fool of myself last night while I was drunk to high heaven. I groan again, wanting to fall back onto my bed.

"Leah, c'mon!" my pal's irritating plea comes from behind the door.

_Damn you, Bella!_

"I truly truly hate you, Swan!" I say loud enough for her to hear.

She laughs.

_Laughs!_

"I love you, too, Leah. Hurry up, Please!"

"You are sick and twisted! " I call out to her, peeling off my skanky clubbing outfit and making my way to my bathroom to wash off last night's stink.

_What had I been thinking?_

I step into the shower. Fantastic! Thank goodness for non-low-flow showerheads! A half-hour later, I emerge from the sweet-smelling bathroom a new woman, ready to meet my fate.

"Finally!" Bella excaims, holding out some weird looking concoction. "I usually make this for my mom when she's had one of her nights. Drink it. It'll make you feel better."

I drink it and amazingly, I do feel better.

"Wow! You should bottle this up and sell it!" I say, licking my lips clean.

"That's what everyone says," my best friend laughs, eyes twinkling. "But if I did, I'd have to list the ingredients."

"Why? What's in it," I ask, looking at her reluctant expression. As she moves to answer, I suddenly realize I really don't want to know. So, I hold up my hand to stop her.

"Never mind! Let's go to Embry's."

"Oh, I can't," Bella admits with a frown. "I have to go to work. I just wanted to make sure you made it out the door, and into your car."

"Were you planning on following me, too?"

A blushing Bella stares back at me, not even trying to hide her intention to do just that.

"Unbelievable!" I say, emphatically. I look at her puppy dog begging face, almost as effective as Seth's. "Ugh! Fine! Fine. I'm going!"

"Thank you!" she shouts over the sound of my engine and the tires hitting the pavement just off my driveway.

_Here I go, off to Embry's house..._

**_

* * *

Embry's House or, "Damn, another porch!"

* * *

_**

I knock on the door, my feet dancing, praying that no one is home.

_I truly hate myself for having a conscience! _

If I didn't, I wouldn't give a crap about breaking a promise to Bella. If I didn't, I wouldn't care what I did last night, nor would I care that Embry was there to witness it.

My mind is going haywire while I wait for someone to answer the door. I'm nearly ready to leave as the door swings open.

I am greeted by a woman, slightly younger than my own mom, I think. She's tall, like me. She's lithe, with long dark hair and a friendly, but wise face. I can only guess that it's Embry's mom.

_Crap, what should I call her? Is her last name, Call?_

"Hello? May I help you?"

For some reason the way she looks at me makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have a sudden urge to pretend I'm selling magazines due to the pretense of being deaf in one ear, or maybe to suggest she welcome Jesus into her life. I want to tell her anything, _except_ the truth that I'm here to see her 16-year-old son.

_Even though he looks about 24, by the way!_

"Hi, I'm Leah," I try for casual friendly. "I just have a message for Embry, Ms.- " I wait a heartbeat.

"Hello, Leah, I'm Embry's mom, Chenoa Call." She introduces herself in a buttery soft voice. I recognize Embry in her welcome smile. It relaxes me.

"I'm happy to meet you, Ms. Call," I politely respond. "Would it be ok if I speak to Embry?"

"Sure, of course you can!"

The thing is, though, she still hasn't moved out of the doorway, and she's still staring at me. I smile and then she catches herself.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Embry doesn't have many-" she stops herself. "Anyway, Leah, please come in. Why don't I go and call him down? He's been busy upstairs all day packing his things."

_What?! _I think. _Packing?_

_

* * *

**Author's Note**: My heartfelt thanks to all of you who have taken time to read and review. I apologize for not writing each of you individually. I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to salvage this off of my computer since it died a most grisly death last week (after posting chapter 16) but your interest in this story kept me writing on this other crappy computer even though I'd lost the ENTIRE rest of the story and have to piece it all back together from scratch. *crying* Anyway, I'm plugging away at the next installment!_

_Hope you enjoyed this one!_


	18. Letting Go

**Through the Back Window  
_POV: Chenoa Call (Embry's mom)_**

_

* * *

_  
I watch my son outside with the girl, Leah.

So, at last he's found her.

The girl looks angry. I hear her loudly explain her annoyance with finding him packing. Seems she's got a bit of a mouth.

_ Good._

By the looks of her and the glimpse I'd seen of her future before I could shut it off, I know that she'll need that fighting spirit in spades if she's ever to get to her happy ending. I purse my lips, still unsure of how to feel about how my son's life is now entangled with hers.

I wash dishes as I gaze out onto the yard, watching Embry through the back window. I know _what_ he is. In fact, I know what they _both_ are. He thinks he's trying to protect me by keeping it a secret.

He's always been such a good boy.

I shake my head.

There are too many things I know, and too many things I've done to bring us to this very moment. Even though my life has been full of sacrifice, the choices I've made were meant to ensure that Embry wouldn't have to live the heartache of my reality.

He's shaking slightly, clenching his fists at his sides.

I smile.

He used to do this as a little boy when he concentrated on not doing something. Like, during all those times I told him that he couldn't take cookies that were cooling on the counter.

He's keeping himself from touching her, I think.

Deep inside, I recognize that it bothers me knowing that their destinies are forever intertwined.

I suppose it's a mom thing.

_He looks so much older._

Strong.  
Sensitive.  
Stubborn.

_So much like his father. _

Much too in love.  
Filled with too much want.

_All at the wrong time. _

It's to be a long road for him, yet. Of this I know.  
Meeting her at last and seeing them together has given me calm.  
But knowing what still lies ahead, my heart clenches for him - for the _both_ of them.

* * *

**Outside**  
_POV: Embry_

* * *

"Where are you going?" arms akimbo, eyes blazing, long gone is the needy girl I left sleeping in bed in the early morning light. She taps the sunglasses that she'd been wearing on her hip. She doesn't look too worse for wear considering her condition the evening before.

"Hi, to you too, Leah," I say with a frown.

"Hi," she answers sharply. "Why are you packing?"

"I have to go to California."

"Why?" I note that she is angrier than she really has any right to be.

"Why do you care?" I ask curiously, but it comes out a little too gruffly. I see some shock cross her face. It appears as though she's grappling with herself for a suitable answer. I keep silent, letting her wrestle with her thoughts. After all, she'd left me to battle my own feelings about her for far too long. It serves her right to have to contend with this internal battle in front of me.

"You can't just leave without telling Sam" she says.

_Ah, so it's to be denial today. _

I shake my head, disappointed.

"I have to attend a training seminar in California for work," I say with a tired sigh meant for her and her unwillingness to see the writing on the wall. "It's for a week, unless they decide I should be a team leader and spokesman for the high school division. If that happens, then I'll have to be there for the rest of the summer learning what I have to do this upcoming year. The California project is already up and running. They're starting their national push with us as partners."

She stares at me and I wonder what she's thinking. The anger is gone. It's absence brings a delightful thought to me.

"My leaving _bothers_ you!" She won't look at me. I continue her torment, clearly I've hit a nerve. "You thought I was leaving for something like," I grin to emphasize the next word. "_forever_." I find it utterly amusing that she's shifting uncomfortably, so I bark out a laugh.

"That's not even funny, you, _b-_jerkwad," she shouts, clearly relieved, though, swatting at me, anyway, for laughing at her. "Besides, it sounds like you're just going away to _summer camp_."

I growl at her retort, and it is her turn to laugh.

The picture of her standing there in the afternoon light, grinning like an idiot after just having been upset with the idea of me possibly abandoning her, warms my heart. It doesn't escape me that she's purposely avoided the word, bastard. I smile at her uncharacteristic sensitivity, and allow myself to give into the desire to clasp her into a hug. I am surprised she doesn't resist, and am even more surprised when, in return, she wraps her arms around me to hold me closer. I feel her hands moulding to the contours of the muscles at my back.

We stand like this, wrapped around each other. I try to show her through our embrace how we could be so good for one another.

"I might be gone before you get back," she whispers into my chest. "I already know you'll get that leadership position."

Her words brings reality crashing down on me. The truth of what Bella said last night hits me hard today.

_"I think Leah needs this more than I do. She needs space to find herself. Freedom... Embry, it's also a gift you can give her."_

I know it may be a long time before I get to see Leah again, so I indulge in holding her close. Though I loosen my arms around her waist, I don't let go, relishing our nearness, not really caring why she's allowing my gentle touch in the light of day. I gaze down on her, willing her to meet my eyes.

At last she looks at me. I see the longing in her beautiful face. This time I know her yearning is for _me_.

This time, I do not walk away in fear about the future. This time, I leap into the moment.

I lean toward her, watchful for any sign that might tell me my advances are unwanted. She tilts her chin up in invitation. Her half-lidded eyes focus on my mouth. I smile and catch her up into a gentle kiss, a soft brush of lips, a tease of my tongue across hers. I am rewarded with her sigh. She melts against me and I resist the urge to dive deeper, showing her instead that what we have between us can be just as quietly beautiful as it has been bruisingly passionate.

I gently move my lips against hers twice more, thoroughly learning the shape of her mouth, feeling the heat of her breath, the thrumming of her pulse beneath my thumb as I cradle the nape of her neck in one hand, and curl her hair around my fingers.

She makes a needy sound that, again, I resist answering. Instead, I continue to take my time, showering her mouth, face, and neck with careful attention. It doesn't seem enough for her. With growing impatience, she tightens her hold on me, pulling me closer. I allow her to be the aggressor this time. When she realizes I am the one following her lead, she breaks off with a soft gasp. Her palm stills against my face, her other hand still grips the shirt at my low back. I ache for her, but stand steady.

Waiting for her to come to me.

"Oh, Embry," she breathes, wide-eyed, soaking in our situation, "so amazing."

Then reality hits and she sags a little. Her fingers at my back release, her hand lays flat on my back. Her other glides down my neck to rest at my shoulder. The top of her head is against my heart, her face away from mine. She's breathing hard. I know she's searching for words. I also know I have all night to hear what she has to say. I don't intend to be the first to reveal my need.

Not again.

After a few minutes, she tilts away, meeting my stare, not breaking our hold. Suddenly, she averts her gaze, her expression one of marked sadness, as though waking from a most delicious dream to find her fantastic banquet whisked away at the light of day.

"Things are changing so quickly for us," she says, her voice pulled by the breeze to touch the trees, "It seems it's nothing but bad timing all around." She sighs loudly, "But the truth of it is, even if all the stars were aligned, Embry, I don't know I'd be able to make the jump. No matter how much you inspire me to," she sends me a quick reassuring smile, searching for support. I stand quietly waiting for her to continue, "People think I'm brave. You of all people, should know that I'm not."

I clear my throat, keep her in my arms, but I look out to the setting sun as I make my reply.

"They say bravery is based on knowing the danger and the potential of either failure or glory ahead, Leah. Despite having this fear, the courageous fly forward to meet it."

"Even so, I'm not that courageous. I can't willing put myself in front of a car wreck."

I wince, pained that she thinks a relationship between us still spells out doom.

"Well, I want you to know that I'm just as scared. You know how I feel about imprinting, Leah. I know the possibility of it is still out there for the _both_ of us," I put a finger to her lips to block off her protest that such a thing is impossible for a shewolf. "I don't think I can be brave enough either, knowing how you feel about it. _You_ could hurt _me_, too."

I stop to think about my next words, my thumb absently brushes her lips. I enjoy watching desire darken her eyes. It pleases me to know I've managed to wipe Sam from the forefront of her thoughts. "I want to be brave for you, Leah. There's too much for each of us to do on our own before we can explore what is possible between us. But I can't be the only one who is holding us up. One day, Leah, you'll be ready to forge ahead with me. I promise to be right beside you when you do."

She closes her eyes and tightens her arms around me. I respond in kind.

"Thank you Embry."

I nod and swallow the huge lump that's formed in my throat. I convince myself not to be sad at our parting. I do not wish to say goodbye, but I know for both our sakes, it's what we need to do, to get where we eventually need to be, if we are going to finally be together.

_Bella is right._

This will be my gift to Leah.

I pull from our embrace and kiss her on the forehead.

She won't allow me to go until she gives me a kiss into which she pours all her hunger and dare I say, _love_. She leaves my heart racing and my body yearning for her.

I grab hold of her hand, intertwine our fingers, and put them between our hearts. I place my forehead against hers.

"Goodbye, Leah," I whisper quietly. I hear her tiny whimper. "Go find what you need, Buttercup, and then come back to me."

She smiles at the endearment. Both of us are misty-eyed. I know it touches her that I've taken the time to identify the sweet note in her wild scent.

Though it seems to take me a lifetime, I finally find the strength to-

let go...


	19. What's Up Buttercup?

_Author's Note: The centered italics are Embry's words in his letter to Leah. Regular type is Leah's interjecting thoughts. I was having a difficult time with formatting since FF net doesn't allow for different fonts in one body. So, I hope it's not too confusing._

_

* * *

_

**What's up, Buttercup?  
_Labor Day Weekend_**

_Jake's first day visiting Bella in New Hampshire....  
POV: Leah_

* * *

My finger breaks the seal and glides under the envelope flap. A faint smile touches my lips, knowing who the letter is from...

___________________________________________________

_What's up, Buttercup?_

_Greetings from Monterey Bay, California!  
I hope you've finally settled into your new place out in New Hampshire.  
I sent this with Jake, because I didn't know where else to send it.  
So, hopefully you get it before he locks himself away with Bella for the weekend._

The last line makes me laugh, since all those two are doing is a whole lot of _nothing_. I left them alone after the student mixer tonight, thinking I'd spare myself of the..._ahem_... noise. But, I guess, I phased for nothing since I came home to a very frustrated Jake who thrust this letter at me before going out on a run.

At least I'd gotten a chance to be alone in wolf form for a little while. I'd thought it was bad at the party when none of the guys there even came close to attracting my interest. So, when I was running, it came as a huge a shock to miss having Embry inside my head. I didn't think I'd miss him this much. But now, surprise! H_e_ wrote to me! It strikes me as funny how the thought of Embry penning this note makes me downright giddy. I'm such a _girl_. I sigh at my silly self.

_This "summer camp" (ha ha), is keeping me pretty busy.  
You were right, Leah, they made me leader for the greater Seattle area high school division!  
So, I'll be traveling up and down the California coast until after Labor Day.  
Some bad news, it looks like I won't be spending much of Christmas vacation in LaPush, either.  
They said they want all west coast high school division team leaders to  
fly to Florida to start up a clean ports campaign out there, too._

I smile, proud of his achievement, sad I'll miss him during my next visit home.

_I've wanted to get in touch with you nearly ever other minute I've been here.  
I feel like we left so many things unsaid.  
I don't have a computer around where I can e-mail you in peace__.  
I don't know your e-mail address, anyway.  
And to top it off, my cell phone fell into the ocean (long story).  
So, an old fashioned letter is all I've got._

_Putting pen to paper is tougher than you might think.  
They say it's romantic and all that, but yeah. This is a little strange._

I see the ink blot at the end of his sentence.  
He seems to have pressed his pen into the paper, lost in thought.

_It seems as though every time I get started, something comes up,  
and I have to stop writing and I lose my next line.  
It's night now and I'm looking out at the ocean,  
thinking of you. Everyone who might bother me is probably asleep._

_The sand is different here._

Well, that explains the bits of sand in the crumpled envelope.

_I wish you were here with me to see it._

_Thankfully, the sound of the water pounding on the beach is the same.  
It makes me remember the day I watched you dive._

_Leah, I often think of the day we said goodbye.  
I am no longer who I was before this summer.  
I think I am better for it - because of you._

I pause and look out of my window.  
I know what he means.

_I miss your scent. _

_I miss your mischievous grin._

_ I miss your saucy mouth. _

_I miss your touch, _

_and most of all,_

_I miss the thrill of simply having you near._

_I'm looking forward to seeing you when _

_we somehow find ourselves back in LaPush together. _

_Always, _

_**Embry**_

_p.s._

_Remind Jake to give you the package he put in his backpack. _

_It's from me.  
_________________________________________________ _

I tear into the brown paper package that Jake handed to me, along with the letter.

_Poor, Jake. I hope he finds his cold lake. _

The wrappings fall away. I gasp, grinning happily as my fingers close around some very familiar green material. I grab up the goGreen and hold its softness against my face, wrapping myself up in Embry's fresh salty ocean air scent. A little box falls onto my lap as I shake out the shirt. I reach out to snag it. I lift off the cover, smiling at the necklace and little glass pendant inside.

Encased within the clear glass is a tiny, perfect, yellow blossom.

A buttercup.

I smile and get up to show Bella.

* * *

**_Behind closed doors..._**

* * *

I knock at Bella's bedroom door. She opens it, surprised to find me. Cocking her head, she looks at me, and I enter.

"Why'd you send lover boy away?" I asks sarcastically, unable to keep the curiosity from my voice.

"Billy and Charlie called," she mournfully replies. I raise an eyebrow and she raises hers in return.

_Oh! That sucks!_

"Poor, Jake! Poor, you! Sheesh, and I thought my mom was tough!" I throw myself uninvited onto her bed, hugging a pillow to myself.

_Geeze, how many pillows does one girl need, anyway?_

I'm trying to hold back the laughter at Jake's sorry state. That, plus the combined joy that Embry's note and gifts bring me is all bubbling up inside. I can't help it, but I do a most unladylike thing. I snort, no longer able to contain my mirth.

"You know," I try to breathe between peals of laughter, "I was only messing around earlier about finding that cold lake for Jake." I gasp for air and find it finally fills my lungs.

"He actually asked me if I'd found one." I try desperately to calm myself down, but when Bella sends me her annoyed look, I can't help but dissolve into gut-busting, shoulder-shaking laughter, again.

When my spiral into hilarity ends, I finally am able to say, "You know, Bella, Billy and Charlie aren't _here_. What's _really_ stopping you?"

She ducks her head and a blush creeps into her cheeks

"Leah..." she starts uncomfortably. "Have you ever.... um... With Sam, did you..."

_Oh, no! _

_I guess I asked for this. She's still fumbling around for the right way to put her question._

"Are you wondering if I'm still a _virgin_?" I ask, cutting through her clear discomfort. Bella turns her head to she nod at me. I gaze at the ceiling thinking about what to say and catch her inquisitive gaze.

I return her nod slowly, my eyes never leave hers.

She can't hide the shock on her face.

"I _know_, right?" I laugh lightly. "LaPush is small, Bella. My mom was on me like white on rice. Even though Sam and I were as close as we were, we never..... we came close a couple of times... but..." I sigh.

_This is awkward._

"I mean, can you imagine?" I continue, "If we had? I'd be going just about crazy, out of my mind, with the whole imprinting on my cousin thing." I shake my head. "Thank goodness for my mom!"

"You mean _that_ whole thing at home wasn't even the _full_ extent of your craziness?" her incredulous inquiry seems to surprise her as much as it does me. Amused at her aghast expression when hearing herself, I growl at her playfully. Then, I whack my best friend with one of her hundreds of pillows. She gasps, then, laughingly continues, "Seriously, though I... I don't know what to say. I didn't think anyone, who wasn't in love with a vampire, still carried her v-card after high school graduation."

"Yeah, well, tell THAT to most of the girls I know. Some of us non-leech lovers are actually proud V-card carrying members." I smile at her disbelief. "But really, Bella, maybe it's more of a self-protection thing than anything else."

"Protection... from a broken heart?" she asks quietly.

I'm silent for a moment as my mouth twists into a slight scowl.

"Yeah, well, _that_ didn't work out so well for me," I ruefully admit. "Sometimes, I think if Sam and I had made love, I could have shown him how much...." I choke a little at the possibility.

Unexpectedly, my mind fills with a wolf memory of a fantasy starring Embry and me that he accidentally relayed to me this summer. I mentally berate myself for allowing such an inappropriate thought of him to enter my mind right now. I try valiantly to focus on what I'm trying to tell Bella about Sam. "... That he'd still be with me, but that's just plain stupid thinking. Sex is something else, I think, Bella." I pause. "But _you're_ free and so is Jake, so, why not?"

"How about, I believe I'll go to hell if I'm not married?"

I cast her a _yeah-whateve_r look. "Uhm, you're not exactly Christian and I think you've encountered lot a lot scarier stuff than Satan here in this lifetime."

She laughs.

"I don't know...well... I kind of do have another reason. It's going to sound dumb, but... Jake's younger than me. He's only 16!"

I smirk, a knowing look crosses my face.

_Yeah, I'm familiar with THAT hangup! I have no business thinking about Embry this way either! _

Still, I don't hesitate to give her MY excuse for allowing myself to do just that.

"Yeah? Well, he doesn't look it."

"Mentally he is, though, Leah," she says.

_Funny, I never thought Embry behaved or acted like he was 16._

"... and, then there's that whole imprint thing. Damn!"

"Yeah, damn imprinting, is right," I echo.

We sit in silence, not able to talk about it tonight. I ease myself off Bella's bed, pleading a shower, and leave her room.

It's not until I'm sitting on my own bed that I open the hand that is holding Embry's gift. I'd forgotten to show it to Bella. She _still_ has no idea how I feel about Embry.

I put on the necklace.

"... Damn imprinting, is right," I whisper as I lightly finger the pendant at my neck.

I sigh sadly, deciding to tell Bella about Embry as soon as there's something to tell.

_

* * *

**End Chapter Notes:**_

_To former Just One Kiss readers: No, you're not experiencing dejavu. The second part of this was pulled and slightly altered for POV from Ch. 22, New Neighbors.__  
For new readers: If you want to find out about the mixer and Leah's antics there, it's Chapter 21 Little Sparks of Light from Just One Kiss. You can find it on my profile page._

_Also, we're headed into angst land for Leah. Please don't hate me for it. If you thought I was careening toward the sweet, fairy tale ending, go back and read the story summary. :P_

_I know, poor Leah. I promise it'll be worth it in the end! Happy reading._

_

* * *

_


	20. Could It Be?

_Author's Note: Same drill - center italics are Leah's letter to Embry. Regular type, her internal musings as she writes. Happy reading!_

_

* * *

_

**Could It Be?**  
_POV: Leah_

_

* * *

_

The last time I'd handwritten a letter was back in middle school when we were practicing friendly letter format and we had pen pals from a neighboring reservation. I think about how different that letter, so eagerly written about the latest pop stars and dance styles is so different from the one I have in my hand. I can recall every tortured phrase and every nervous thought that occurred to me as I wrote it two days prior. The memories are so fresh, it's as if I'd just penned it moments ago...

____________________________________________________

_Hey, EnviroGuy!_

_Have you imprinted yet?_

_You know, you'd make my life _

_a whole hell of a lot easier if you just did, already. _

_You will tell me when you do, right? _

_Put me out of my misery and all that?_

_Ha._

_Sorry, I know. It is so totally wrong of me to_

_ point at the gigantic pink elephant between us._

_Totally inappropriate. _

_Totally me. _

_Sorry._

Truthfully, I'm really not sorry at all.

It just seems like the_ right thing_ to write to Embry.

After all, if he did imprint, my life _would be_ easier, much, much easier.

I could stop thinking about him for one thing. I could just go on being my snappy, morose, and bitter self. Then, I wouldn't have to worry about being a cradle-robbing shewolf, or worse, have the constant headache of entertaining the thought that I might possibly _want_ to be Embry's semi-serious, long-distance _sort of girlfriend_.

Sigh.....

_Anyway, Embry._

_Congratulations on the job! I knew that you'd get it!  
_

_When you didn't show up at the airport to let Jakey-poo lean on your shoulder, _

_I figured you were still out in California._

_It was a pathetic display, by the way. _

_Wish you'd been there, we could have teased them together._

With Embry's farewell kiss a fading memory,  
watching Bella and Jake say their goodbyes at the airport was,  
one of the harder things I've had to do...  
since finding out I was part of Sam's stupid wolf pack_._

_Is it as sunny as they make it out to be in all those angsty prime time shows? _

_Are you a surfer now?_

That would be pretty _hot_, I think idly before going on...

_It must be exciting for you to know what you want and to be able to do it!_

_I'm really happy for you and proud, too._

_Thank you for the shirt. _

_It doesn't smell like just me anymore. _

_When I took it out of the wrapping, it was you and me, together,_

_which is really nice._

Really, really nice, actually. Mmm...  
Wow, I can't believe how much I miss him...

_I miss you. _

_Having it with me, wearing it, helps when I think of you._

_I just don't want your scent to leave it._

_You did wash it, though? Right? _

_I mean, that would be kind of gross._

_You're right, putting pen to paper isn't easy._

_I'm sitting in the woods, just outside of the house Bella and I live in. _

_The trees are different. The sun feels different._

_The sounds are different. I'll put a leaf in the envelope so you can see._

_I love the necklace you gave me. _

_I wear it. _

_A lot._

_I like that you call me, Buttercup. _

_It makes me smile. It reminds me that I am a girl, _

_reminds me of a time when I was **just** a girl -_

_not this freaky, he-man strong, she-wolf thing, _

_who hangs around with smelly boys_

_who just want to kill stuff and eat it raw. _

_Yuck. _

_No offense._

The boys in the pack _are_ gross, though!

_Anyway, I digress._

_When I look at your gift, my necklace,_

_it reminds me of the part of me that no one seems to see. _

_Somehow, it's the part that you are able to recognize,_

_the part you are always able to touch._

_Why is that?_ I think before starting up my letter writing again...

_School started yesterday and it's so exciting to be away _

_learning about fashion, stage life, and business. _

_I even took up yoga when you left. _

_I like it so much I even found a good studio out here._

_It's... different... to be this _

_bendy. _

_Yeah, obviously, I have no idea what I want to do,_

_but I'm taking all of the prerequisites and hoping that if I stick through it, _

_what I want most will eventually bash me over the head._

_Then I'll align my life to make it happen._

_...Bash me over the head, and throw me into a tailspin - _

_sort of like what __**you**__ did this summer -- to me._

_Knowing you makes __**me**__ different, too, Embry._

_You make me see the person I used to be - a person I liked being. _

_Through your eyes, I can also almost see the person I'm going to become, _

_when I'm better,_

_when I reclaim the parts of me that I lost after Sam,_

_and create the new parts I have yet to discover._

Yeah, I still can't believe how much I miss him...

_I miss you._

_I said that already. _

_But I do, I really do. _

_And it's not just because you're really hot, _

_because you are, ;)_

_but also because ..._

Because what Leah?

_... you know me, and you still, amazingly, like me for it._

Maybe even more than just _like_? I think, dotting the "i".

_I put my address, my cell number and my e-mail address _

_on a paper inside the envelope. _

_Don't lose it! _

_See you in January, _

_for that lovely wedding._

_I heard you're standing in the groom's line._

_Oh, yay! _

_Torture for the two of us!_

_Can't. Wait._

_(That was sarcasm, if you didn't get that.)_

I fuss over how to end the letter.

_With love?  
No._

_Always?  
Embry used __that_, not original.

_See you soon?  
But I won't!_

_Don't fall into the ocean, either?  
Oh, yeah! what did happen to his cell phone?_

Focus! Leah!

Ugh. This sucks.

So I just do what's easiest...

_- __**Leah**_

____________________________________________________

Ending my trip down memory lane, I hand the letter to Jake who stuffs it into his backpack. We're expecting the airport shuttle any moment. Bella's sitting on the couch, trying very hard not to look dejected. Let's just say she's a really bad actress.

Jake grabs me up into a fierce hug.

"Take care, Leah," he says quietly.

"Hey, you gonna go all crybaby on me?" I ask roughly, pulling out of his embrace, wiping at my nose to cover my own sniffle. "Don't worry Jake. Really. We'll be fine."

"Tell me, again, why am I leaving?"

"Because you love Bella and you want what's best for her. That's why you're leaving her with me!" I say with a really hyperbolic enthusiasm, trying not to show that I care at all that he's going away. It was nice to have him around. Really.

"Oh, yeah, that's riiight!" he says, slapping his forehead.

We stand facing each other, grinning like fools.

"Hey, Jake," I say more seriously this time. "Will you promise me something?"

"Why, of course, Leah," he says in a mocking tone that has me giving him the stink eye, "after you've been such an angel to me these last few days? How could I not?"

I smirk, thinking about the neon marker warrior paint I drew on his face while he napped, and the detailed map I handed him on the second night. I'd drawn and labelled every lake and stream around our place and laughed uproariously when he actually used it.

"Smart ass."

"Bitch."

"Enough, you guys," Bella quietly interjects from her seat.

We both roll our eyes at her.

"What is it, Leah?" Jake asks, seriously this time.

"Promise me you'll call me, or let me know if..." I waver, not sure if I should ask this. The airport shuttle pulls up to the door. "... if Embry imprints," I finish my whispered request hastily. "_You_ tell me first. OK? Please?"

Jake stands there though the van driver is honking impatiently. I see understanding flash in his eyes.

"Sure. Leah. Sure."

I let out a breath I hadn't been aware I was holding. I quickly say my thanks and push him toward the door.

Bella and I both frame ourselves in the window as we wave goodbye.

After we watch the shuttle pull away, Bella wanders around the living room and I move into downward dog on my eco-yoga mat. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her fingers linger on the frame of a picture I took of her and Jake on the porch. It's one I'm really proud of and one I plan to submit for a grade in my beginner's photography course. I snapped it on the first day of his arrival, right before we headed off to the Dartmouth student mixer. It is a profile shot of the both of them, the light perfectly illuminates them, focusing on how they have eyes only for one another.

Not wanting to show how much pride I have in having taken it, I sit cross-legged in Cobbler's Pose on my yoga mat, and make faces at Bella while she straightens the photo on the fireplace mantel.

"I meant for that to be a _personal_ momento," I snip, slipping into Warrior One pose. "Why do I have to be subjected to the happy couple whenever I walk in here? Can't you put that in _your_ room?"

"I thought yoga was supposed to bring you peace and tranquility," she questions serenely. I almost want to bark out a laugh, but don't want to show her how much I appreciate the sarcasm.

Instead, I shoot her an exaggerated look of exasperation, followed by pretending to gag, indicating to her how queasy I'll get if she leaves the photo on the mantle and not in her room where it truly belongs.

She turns to admire the picture again, and I can't help but take some pride in the how she gazes at the photo, saying how the shot was skillfully made. Though glowing inside, I paste on a scowl before she turns to look at me.

The sudden sound of a U-Haul truck scattering gravel in the driveway catches us both off guard and I quickly end my workout. I leap onto the couch to peer through the front windows. A long appreciative whistle escapes me as I look at the very masculine body climbing out of the truck's cab. I catch Bella's eye, cock an eyebrow, and send her the universal girlfriend-to-girlfriend "you've got to get a look at this mighty fine specimen of man right here" kind of look.

She kneels on the couch beside me to stare at the backside of the bohunk. She and I exchange appreciative smirks. He's at least an inch taller than Jake. From the looks of his skin-tight, Banana Republic, black T-shirt, he's got a nicely built torso. His blond hair glints golden in the sun and is just long enough to show a wave in it. His profile is heavenly. And...

_Oh!_

I vaguely hear Bella commanding me to wave at him. My hand is frozen in mid-air and my breath catches when I lay eyes on his perfectly formed face. The amusement I registered in his emerald green eyes turns into something else entirely when he meets my gaze.

I gulp audibly.

I frisson of awareness sizzles between us.

Fathomless verdant eyes.

_Ohhhhhhhh.......No! no! no! no! This can't be happening!_

I hear my internal shouts and pleas with myself to snap out of it.

I can't seem to think beyond the mild irritation of my own persistent refusals to accept what is clearly in front of me. I don't want it, but no matter how much I might desire to listen to my inner voice, I can't seem to tear my eyes away...


	21. The Trouble With Twins

_Author's note: For all of you so distraught from the last chapter you can't even think, this one's for you... ;)_

* * *

**The Trouble With Twins**  
_Looks like we've got some new neighbors._

_POV: Leah_

_

* * *

_

_"Leah," _Bella whispers, nudging me with her elbow,_ "are you, OK?"_

I nod, but don't spare a glance her way. I can't seem to stop looking at _him _even if my life depended on it. He seems to be equally shell-shocked and unable to move.

Behind him, I absently notice another figure emerge from the back of the moving van. This one is tall, nearly as tall as I am, with a similar lithe, lean muscular build of a dancer. Her hair is shampoo commercial worthy. It bounces lightly, golden blonde, streaked with highlights, cascading past her shoulders in an abundance of waves. Her eyes are equally gemstone green. There is something ethereal about her. With the face of an angel, she looks exactly like the mystery man, except her features are distinctly, gorgeously feminine. While his look is one of quiet strength, on her face she wears a more knowing, feline smile.

I think about _everything_ I've been through since turning into a werewolf and come to the realization that up until this moment, I haven't truly experienced the sensation of fear.

_

* * *

POV: Mystery Guy with the emerald eyes

* * *

_

The mere sight of the lovely, almond-eyed girl halts me mid-task. The jaunty wave hello I'd meant toward our new neighbors is caught in mid-air, completely forgotten as I gaze upon _her_ face. I've been in a thrall before, but never in one as strong as this - not since the first powerful woman I'd laid eyes on many lifetimes ago.

This beauty's dark, unblinking gaze captures mine, bringing to mind a faded memory of the one who conjured the manacles that keep my soul from escaping my earthly form. I will, for all eternity, look as I do now, forever attracting unwanted feminine interest, because of a vengeful love from so long ago.

I've also been held by lesser thralls since. Since such enslavement is worse the any imagined hell, I have led what has been a truly cursed life.

Unwilling to allow me such suffering, my twin sister, Felicia, at the risk of her own soul, has saved me from my dark fate during these times. I would be a broken man had it not been for her company in this shared half-life. It seems we will never discover how to end this blasted curse. So changed is the nature of men from when we began our journey, that we have long stopped believing such a possibility for ultimate freedom even exists.

Judging from her unhappy murmurings beside me, Felicia is upset to be witness to the possibility of another enthrallment, I suspect she may even already be plotting the demise of _this_ one.

The vibrating physical demand between the girl in the window and me is undeniably more powerful than any that's come before. I, however, feel no threat from of this maiden. I lightly use my extra senses to touch her and find only fear and confusion. Unlike the others, this one feels the pull between us, perhaps too well. To my surprise she wishes to resist it nearly as much as I do. Even so, I wish desperately to reach out to her mind, to calm and soothe her, but my sister's warning words have me remembering to fear for my own safety more than that of this new Mistress.

If I am _already_ thinking of her as such, and we haven't yet spoken or touched, this is surely, _again_, what I think it is.

_How often will this happen to poor Stefan?_ I hear my sister think beside me. _Twice already seems too often enough. _I can hear her searching for calm. I see how she is recalling how my stay with her here in her new home is to be a short one. Within days, I will be on an airplane to the West coast where I will finally begin my archaeological study of the native cultures of America's Northwest.

Without words, I vow to my sister that I will not near the girl who has yet to waver in her watch over me.

I feel the gentle touch of my sister's hand on my arm. It is enough to release me from my stupification.

"Do not let her hear your voice, brother," she warns, moving closer. "If you do, as you know, she will have the power to etch her mark onto your soul."

My sister reminds me that my special talent affords me a welcome loophole to the ancient curse. I avoid looking at her again, afraid she is still reaching out to me. My sister casts the woman in the window a wary glance, "There is something about this one. It disturbs me, Stefan. The way she looks at you and your inability to break this hold... We both know you are not so strong as to withstand the power of a Mistress such as her this time."

I finally turn to her.

The helplessness I feel at this very moment is one that I have not felt for many, many years.

_

* * *

POV: Leah

* * *

_

I wrench my gaze away from his for only a moment. Doing so is surprisingly painful. I grab at my chest and look up to find Bella staring at me open-mouthed.

"What?!" I snap at her, my face turning quickly back to his to avoid the searing pain at the center of my being.

"You know the answer to that question better than I do!" Bella shouts back at me. "What's happened, Leah?"

"I feel a force, coming from _him_," I say with shock in my voice, lifting a finger to point outside.

"What are you now, a Jedi?" Bella asks sarcastically.

"Hardy har har, former leech lover," I sneer back at her, unable to fully break the lock of his stare without piercing pain. "_Something's_ happening, but I'm not sure exactly what." I see the question in Bella's face and don't want to hear her next words.

"Did you imprint?"

"That _can't_ happen to me, remember?" I insolently respond.

"You don't _know_ that," says Bella sounding as exasperated as I feel. I stare at her, unwilling to be convinced. She continues, "If what you're saying is true, then why did you just stop breathing for a minute?"

I dare to defy the pain of not looking at him again and look, instead, at Bella. I can't stand the satisfied smile snaking its way onto her face. Nor can I withstand the visceral need to look at him again. There's no way I can tell Bella about Embry now! The entire pack will HATE me if she tells Jake even an inkling of how I feel.

I want to weep in despair.

"So, Leah," Bella teases, "why is it that you can't stop staring at him?"

"If you haven't noticed, he is _fine!_" I breathe, not needing to pretend a swoon. Then, without moving my eyes, I turn the accusation onto her, "Besides, you haven't stopped looking at him, either!"

This flusters Bella as she denies still looking. It gives me enough time to force myself to tear my gaze away while quickly trying to examine just exactly what is happening. I use this time to replay the last three minutes of my life.

I met his gaze, a shiver of awareness runs through me, like when I phase, except cooler. The feeling's not red hot, but is instead a pleasing, lovely rose-colored hue. It's a feeling I want to hold onto for... well... for forever. Then, _wham!_ everything suddenly clicks into place.

I refuse to accept this. I can't have imprinted. Girl-wolves _can't_ imprint because, of course, I know everything there is to know about female werewolves. NOT! My mere existence already breaks all the rules. If the centuries hold the truth, then why am I even here? There are no other female werewolves, but me!

This is so unacceptable, so like my life.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

I like who I am now. I want to know the person I'll become when left by myself. And what about Embry? I don't need an imprint, _especially_ now, not now!

That's it, then, I decide. I'm going to fight this... whatever the hell it is.

I hear Bella still blathering on about what a stubborn ass I am and to just admit I've imprinted. I just want to smack her almost as much as I want to spill my guts about how I feel about Embry. Funny how something deemed forbidden suddenly becomes so tempting to give into.

"You haven't even moved, yet," she's sputtering, her hands making strong gestures toward the U-Haul outside. "Neither has he."

I steal a glance at him, again. The pain in my head releases. With just this one look at him, the peace and tranquility I search for in yoga is finally mine. I watch the girl next to him place a hand on his forearm and the stupor I've been in since setting eyes on his face is suddenly gone. I feel he's broken the connection with me. This allows me a little painless breathing room.

I stop a moment, realizing I feel lighter. I reach within, searching for the familiar and oddly comforting pain that I carry over Sam and Emily's pairing.

It's gone.

GONE!

I shake my head incredulously.

No one guy should ever be able to do this to me! This is just wrong. I _need_ that pain. It grounds me.

_Of course, _I think wryly to myself_, it would have to be through something like this that I finally come to accept that my heartbreak is a part of me. It has, after all, made me who I am, and has helped me get this far._

Frantic I start to search for how I feel about Embry and I am comforted to find he is still there inside me. I calm down, grasping onto the the thought of him, the memory of his kisses, his touch. The healing salve of his words. I know I will never willfully let go of these memories and thoughts of _him_.

They will not be taken from me, I vow fiercely.

For argument's sake, _if this is an imprint_, what is _it_ about? Is this what I truly desire for myself? Is _this_ what I yearned for as I watched the other members of the pack discover their other halves?

I am confounded by my desire for this... this perfect stranger. It's so desperate. At the same time, my mind is bending over backwards fighting the magnetic and completely biological force between us. If this helplessness is what I'll be feeling all the time when I'm around him, I don't want it.

I don't want him, this blond stranger.

I'm just getting started here.

I've just found Embry.

I am not yet whole.

"Let's go out and say hello," suggests Bella, breaking into my near hysterical thoughts.

"No," I say defiantly, stuffing myself deeper into the sofa, my back to the window, roughly running both hands through my hair in head-banging frustration. "You do it."

"Leah, we've been staring at them for at least five minutes. You, probably a little longer. Don't you think that they're going to think we're a little strange if we don't go out and say, hi?"

"I don't give a f-, ugh. I don't care what the hell _they_ think," I say belligerently.

I'm too frightened to face him. I'm shaking with an undeniable need to go out and see him, but I am using all of my were-girl willpower to stay seated on the couch. Bella finally notices my quaking and comes to sit beside me. I feel her cool hand on my shoulder, her voice full of concern.

"Leah, what is it?"

"I can't face him, Bells," I say, realizing I'm close to tears since I've unconsciously picked up Jake's term of endearment for my friend. My grasp on the shell of my outer toughness falters, I grab tight hold of my knees. "If I speak to him, something bad will happen, I think. I can't do it. Please," I whimper, "please don't make me."

"What about the girl?" I am surprised to hear the venom in Bella's tone. Her question is unexpected.

"What about her?" I ask, confused.

Bella looks at me, but doesn't answer.

"OK," she says, shrugging, my question ignored. "I'll go talk to them, and you're going to play hostess to her when I send her in to meet you."

Again, there's something there when she says _her_ that is patently un-Bella-esque. I am so unnerved that I can't stop to think about Bella's reaction to the female counterpart. _Whatever_, I think, if Bella just keeps the guy away from me, I'll do anything she asks.

After I hear the front door close, I willfully move my body to the leather club chair, where our visitors can't see me. I, however, have full view of the front area through the window. I see Bella trip down the stairs of the front porch. I shake my head at her clumsiness. I watch my mystery man, reach out to catch her elbow. I find myself snarling with jealousy at his slight movement to keep Bella from doing a face plant on the gravel at his feet.

As Bella straightens, I watch the new girl hold her hand out for a shake. Bella, still grasped at the elbow by mystery guy, shrinks back just a little and offers her a small wave instead. He lets go and, amazingly, my discomfort eases. They all appear to be making introductions. Bella gestures toward the house. Soon, I hear a quiet knock on the front door. Before getting up to open it, I glance outside to find Bella gathering up a box, following mystery guy up the steps to the unit next door.

I paste on a smile and open the door to the female.

"Hello," the new girl purrs her greeting. "Your roommate..." she stumbles, searching for a name.

"Bella," I supply.

"Yes, Bella. She invited me in for a glass of water. I'm parched and Stefan, my brother, drank all that we had on the ride up," the new girl explains. "I hope that's OK?"

"That he drank you're water? No, it's not OK." I answer her. I don't know where that smart-ass comment comes from, but the girl's lips upturn at my words.

"My name's Felicia," she says offering her hand. Unlike Bella, I take it. We are both surprised at how hot our fingers are in one another's grasp. I don't comment on it and neither does she.

I lead her to the kitchen and pour her a glass of water. She curiously looks at me over the rim.

"Oh, sorry!" I say. "I'm Leah, and here's our place!"

She laughs a little. She makes a slight gesture asking silently for permission to wander around. I nod, taking the lead. It's not a long tour and in short order I have her following me back to the front room.

Tossing her sun streaked hair over her shoulder, Felicia watches Bella and Stefan continue to move boxes. I watch her scan the place, obviously not in any rush to help with the heavy lifting. She avoids stepping on my yoga mat. Then, her gaze falls on Bella's picture on the mantel.

She slinks over to the fireplace to pick up and examine the photograph.

"Who is this?" Felicia asks, a hint of something sultry in her voice. I watch uncomfortably as she caresses Jake's profile in the picture. Only Bella's allowed to do that, I think, suddenly protective of my friend.

"That's Bella's _boyfriend_," I nearly growl, unhappy with her rapt attention on Jake's face.

"Really," she says, half to herself, picking up the frame. "Have they been going out long?"

"Yes," I say with some warning in my voice. "They have a long history together."

She hasn't stopped staring at the photo and I am feeling the agitation of this in my spine. A bad place for my temper to be.

If this girl gets this excited just looking at _half_ of Jake's face in a photograph, I abhor the thought of her actually meeting him in person, especially considering what just happened to me.

_Interesting_.

Maybe this is the source of Bella's unreasonable anger. Maybe she somehow mysteriously senses that Felicia has a role to play in Jake's life. As much as I don't want Bella to go through heartbreak again, the thing is, I can't make myself swear to protect her from such a meeting ever taking place.

If something is fated to happen between this Felicia person and Jake, well, it's better that it happen sooner than later and in the deepest part of my heart, I hope Jake will find a way to keep Bella and forego, what might be a possible imprinting on the likes of Felicia.

_But, what's the likelihood of him imprinting on her ever happening, anyway? _I reason with myself. Airfare is outrageously expensive. Jake doesn't have a real job, and Bella and I have already pre-planned the number of trips we'd be taking back home this school year.

"Hmmm..." the sound at the back of Felicia's throat seems to say she'd like a challenge there. But her next words don't match the unadulterated lust I sense rolling off of her. "They look quite lovely together," she says.

I watch as she replaces the frame on the mantel and makes an effortless glide into the club chair I'd previously warmed. Her movements are so graceful it's unnerving. She doesn't fidget as she crosses her legs prettily. Her long fingers lay weightless against the chair's arms.

I sit on the couch, not knowing what to say. Her beauty is distracting, and I don't particularly like looking at girls who are prettier than me. She's smooth, I resentfully admit, much better than I am. It's like she's had much longer to perfect her feminine powers than I. This seems an impossibility, though, since her flawless skin and youthful demeanor imply she can't be much older than either Bella or me.

I look away.

"So, Leah," I hear Felicia say. "Tell me, what do you think of my brother?"

Shocked, I whip my eyes across the room to stare at her. Instead of the playful look I expect from what seems like a teasing question, I'm greeted by cold steel in her emerald eyes.

I am speechless. The words to answer her question do not come. I haven't felt this gawky, or this helpless since Sam told me of his imprinting on Emily. This feeling of not being in complete control of the situation is annoying beyond measure. I don't like it. I feel the muscles of my jaw tighten as I fight for control.

I think of Embry and am gifted with some calm.

Swimming in thoughts of Embry, I end up deciding that Jake needs to meet her, this Felicia, and double my determine to keep Embry out of her sight _forever_.

Jake _will_ meet Felicia, I selfishly vow to myself. If there's anyone who'll be able to help me fight this, then it'll be Jake.

My thoughts completely return to Embry and I realize I'm counting on my being wrong about imprinting now.

I want Jake and Bella to prove me wrong, to shatter the mystical pull of it, to show me, and the rest of the pack, that imprinting is NOT love, that it is just some really freaky lust-at-first-sight thing.

The irony of this is not lost on me as I recall wearing the goGreen to bed last night, dreaming of being in Embry's arms.

I'm gambling with all my heart that Embry is right about imprinting after all.

_

* * *

Author's Note: __For those of you who don't know my personal thoughts on some of the Twilight canon, I'd like you to know that I _**_despise_**_ the idea of imprinting. In my writing I do my best to dispel the "magic" of it.... So, there you go. Please, someone, go get ItsCuzOfTheFame some smelling salts! She needs to keep reading __The Choices We Make__, because her reviews truly inspire me to get Leah out of this craziness! ;)_


	22. Ignorance is Bliss

**Ignorance is Bliss**  
_POV: Embry_

_

* * *

_

The weeks since Labor Day pass quickly thanks to the intense Green-Alliance training to prepare me for the Florida trip in ten days. That along with my heavy high school AP course load, and I can barely remember October, while November is already a quickly fading memory. The training is more difficult than anyone expected, but it's fun and I'm making new friends all up and down the West Coast. Before I know it, it is early December and town stores off the reservation are stocked with all the trimmings to make Christmas especially happy and bright. I know this because Sam just dragged me off to the nearest tuxedo shop to get fitted in a penguin suit for his wedding next month.

I almost laugh thinking how Sam almost had to use his Alpha Command to get me to wear the damn thing.

_The things I do for the pack._

I've hardly had a moment to rest since Leah left.

With college applications completed and sent off, I'm working on applying for scholarship grants as well. I may be a bad ass, but I'm certainly not a stupid ass. Besides, I want to help my mom with college costs. She tells me not to worry, but I do. I know I can qualify for a lot of scholarship money. I've worked hard to be able to. I'm actually not planning to go very far. I can get what I need to get done and still stay close to home.

Even with all the distractions, I can't get thoughts of Leah out of my mind. I can't believe it's been more than three months since I've kissed her. I can still remember the feel of her lips against mine.

I miss her.

Leah and I have been exchanging e-mails, but no texts yet. I haven't yet replaced my long lost cellphone which is now likely laying in the stomach of a certain shark. I'm hoping, instead, that the G.A. will offer me a company issued one and that they'll hopefully see it as a necessity when I leave for Florida.

The e-mail exchanges between Lean and me are short, sweet and daily. They started a week after Jake returned to LaPush. She jokes about her classes, tells me how she'd flubbed her lines during a drama class, causing the student director to go into a conniption fit. She laughs about how her latest fashion design ripped as the model wore it during the fall fashion show, and how she broke her sewing machine by tossing it on the floor in frustration. She waxes poetic about how thankful she is that Bella can cook. She is also just getting used to uploading her pictures, so she sends some of her more recent shots for her photography class. Mostly they are nature shots of the woods and everything in it. She sends me a beautiful one she took of Jake and Bella back in September. It's good for Leah to see those two together, I think.

Before meticulously reading her e-mails, I always skim to the end where she tells me that she misses me and how glad she is to hear from me. Leah got especially sappy last week, when I jokingly threatened to start dating Algebra 2 girl, who is now AP Trigonometry girl, if she didn't write more often. In her reply she told me in no uncertain terms that it wasn't very nice to threaten her, that she'd kick my ass for it as soon as she sees me, and in nearly the same breath asks if AP Trigonometry girl, nèe Algebra 2 girl, is as pretty as she is smart.

I wonder at Leah's lack of self-confidence. It's hard to believe someone as beautiful as Leah would care. I tell her so in my reply and assure her that I only have eyes for her. It's probably wrong of me, but her little spurt of jealousy makes me feel good.

As wonderful as it is to hear from Leah every day, still nothing tops her handwritten letters. She's more thoughtful and bold in her writing when she writes in ink. Maybe it's because she knows it's not so easy to Command + Copy and forward her words to everyone and her mother when she sends me a handwritten letter. They are more personal and I look forward to checking the mailbox every day.

In September, her letters were sad, tentative, almost as though she thought I was going to stop writing at any moment, or I would somehow forget all about her. But three months in, there's a marked difference in her tone. She's back to herself, playful, teasing and full of sass. I make sure to regularly attend to our correspondence, my writing letters to her seems to inspire her to do the same.

Her letters picked up this month and it makes me happy to find snail mail waiting for me after getting home from work. Her wild scent wafts over me as soon as I peel open the coral-colored envelope. Thank goodness for superhuman sense of smell. Her perfume always conjures images of her sitting right beside me as I read.

Her smart ass comments bring laughter to my lips. Her sweet thoughts, warm me. She tells me where she wore my shirt since she last wrote, writes in detail what she does while wearing it and how she thinks about me when she does. Some of her words make me blush and pant after her, like when she'd written how she'd worn the shirt, and nothing else, to bed. Other times she makes me ache to be with her, to share the experience of her changing world. She'd even worn it to Portsmouth, three hours away, dragging Bella with her to shop. While there, she decided to check if the Green-Alliance was doing anything there to keep _that_ port healthy. I don't know why her telling me about this particular thing makes me especially melancholy.

The only annoying habit she has that bugs me to no end, is that no matter the mode of communication, Leah always starts her notes by asking if I've imprinted. At first it was silly, but after a dozen letters and too many e-mails to count, I find myself insanely infuriated if I read past the initial line to the second one that is always about how I'd make her life a whole hell of a lot easier if I just imprint already.

The first time I read her obnoxious question was when Jake came home from his Labor Day weekend visit. I saw him at school on Tuesday. It had taken him the _entire_ day to realize he had Leah's letter in his backpack to give to me. I'd grumbled loudly about waiting long enough and he'd held it out of my reach until I wrestled him for it.

"That much, Embry?" he'd asked amused, when I finally seized the envelope.

I didn't bother to deny it.

"I miss her a lot, Jake," I admitted, wishing I could open the letter right then, but the need to be alone when I read it was too overwhelming. I also didn't need Jake breathing in my ear while I read Leah's words.

He'd placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "I know what you mean, Em. I know what you mean." And then he walked away.

When I did finally get home to read Leah's letter, I think I read the last half of the letter twenty times that night. Each time, I came away thinking the same thing.

_She thinks I'm HOT!_

OK, she didn't write it in all caps and it is quite possibly the stupidest thing to focus on out of Leah's whole entire letter, but the virile beast in me couldn't help but pull that line out and highlight it.

Each time I read her words, I wanted to bounce around like the winner of a boxing match, holding that sentence up as if it were a heavy weight championship belt. I wanted to rub it in Sam's smug face and Jake's ugly mug, too.

Leah Clearwater wants _me_.

Leah Clearwater thinks_ I'm _hot!

Later that same afternoon, Jake came by my house to give me a picture that he took of Leah sitting on the porch at the girls' place in New Hampshire. It looked like it was morning and she was sitting looking out into the back woods. She held a cup of something steaming, wearing my goGreen shirt, and touching the necklace around her neck, the one that I gave her. She didn't look like she knew he'd taken the photo of her because her face was in profile, but she looked happy and at peace. I wasn't sure how I felt about Jake watching her in her solitude, but I was thankful that he'd taken the picture for me. It's funny how Leah never sends me pictures of herself. I don't think Jake realizes how much it means to me to have a photo of Leah that allows me to see her content, wearing the things I'd given her.

As I sit at my computer and smile at the, now framed, picture of Leah. I open my e-mail account and start to write.

_Hey, _

_What's up, Buttercup? _

_So, I've been sitting around thinking about you today..._

_

* * *

POV: Stefan

* * *

_

It is early December and I haven't had dreams of the girl in New Hampshire for nearly a month now. It is an immense relief to know that distance is a weapon against this curse. It is still blood-chilling to know that only a glance of her through glass had embedded her image prominently in my thoughts for more than two months. Felicia tells me that the girl named, Leah, appears equally comforted at my disappearance.

In September, I stayed with Felicia for three intolerable days, all due to knowing that the source of my thrall was just a wall's width away. I spent a lot of time in the woods, then, keeping out of sight, hunting, and doing what I needed to do to keep my promise to my sister. Felicia, on the other hand, was doing reconnaissance work, befriending the two girls living next door to her. The one called Bella, the one I could speak to without losing my mind, did not like my sister at all. It was a instinctual hatred and I wondered at the strength of it. I only gave into curiosity of Leah once and found that she still was fighting the enthrallment. I wasn't sure if I felt annoyed or comforted. It was only natural to fight what was between us if there was another and I couldn't see clearly to know if this was the case for Leah.

After New Hampshire, I headed for the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. I was granted a permit to begin my work on the Makah tribe reservation in early January. I'd since submitted petitions to dig on the Elwha Klallam and Quileute lands. I met with the Elwha Klallam in November. The Quileute Elders asked that I come to speak with them in mid-January. By then, my work at the Makah reservation should be completed and, hopefully, I will have gained approval from the Elders by then.

In ten days, Felicia expects me back in New Hampshire. She says that it will be OK since her neighbors plan on returning home, wherever that is, for the holidays by then.

I pull out my cellphone to call Felicia, to let her know my flight schedule.

_

* * *

10 days later..._.  
_POV: Leah_

* * *

My finals are done and I'm just waiting on Bella to finish her semester. She is such _the_ quintessential student. I've come to accept that her coping mechanism against homesickness is to study and work hard. If you are to ask Jake, it must do the trick to get her mind off of their long distance relationship. I at least don't have _that_ problem to contend with. Not _really_, as long as you don't count Embry, who's written me 15 real letters, countless e-mails and called me once from his home phone, but that was just too expensive.

_Yeah, right. Not a long-distance relationship._

Each letter, every e-mail, each_ What's Up Buttercup?_ are filed carefully away by my own hands. I read through them all periodically to remind me of him, to keep him large in my mind. I can't wait to see Embry again and I silently curse him for being chosen to go to Florida this holiday break. Regardless, at least just thinking of him makes me forget the impact of Stefan, who I, thankfully, hadn't seen since spying him through the front window way back when. Thoughts of Embry help me remember who I am, who I want to be, and to reinforce my refusal to be fate's puppet.

On the day of Felicia's and my first meeting, I answered her eerie question about my thoughts on Stefan by simply shrugging it off. I'm fairly good at hiding my emotions like that. I told her that I hadn't really noticed him and that I hoped I'd be able to meet him if he was going to be our neighbor. Basically, I lied through my teeth. I had absolutely no intention of meeting him, I still don't want to meet him. My nonchalant reply seemed to have greatly pleased her. I, for one, was relieved beyond words when she told me that her brother would be leaving within days.

While he was around, I hadn't ventured further than my doorstep. I fought my body's constant urge to cast a shadow on Felicia's threshold each moment of every day that I knew he was staying next door. If what she says about why he's leaving is true, I find it extremely ironic that he'll likely be studying the Quileute Nation before long. Hopefully, I'll still be out here by the time he's digging around LaPush. Try as I might, I can't imagine someone as gorgeous as him doing something as boring as archeology.

Once Stefan was gone and she settled in, Felicia made sure to invite me out on the town whenever possible. I started up a careful friendship with her. Bella, though, avoids Felicia like the plague. Felicia, on the other hand, seems to relish harassing Bella, calling her the much despised nickname, _Izzy._

"Leah, Izzy's such a stick-in-the-mud! How can you stand it? Doesn't she ever have any fun?" asked Felicia one night on our way to a night club. I shrug, not really wanting to talk about Bella and how she misses Jake. Anyway, it's too easy for me to follow in Bella's footsteps if I'm not careful. So, I try to avoid talking about Bella in her presence and instead focus on having fun with my new gorgeous friend. There are definitely many benefits to us being together. While Bella studies and works, Felicia and I workout and paint the town red together. The two of us never warrant more than a cursory glance from the bouncers who wave us in without even checking ID. A smile from the both of us seem to forgive traffic tickets as much as the occasionally late payment of our yoga class cards. I'm sure it's annoying to our less than pretty counterparts, but hey, I'm living in hell right now, so I think I'm entitled to _some_ good things!

I find myself a begrudging admirer of Felicia's. She'd just started an accounting job, her schooling all but finished. It's hard to believe she's four years older than me, but sometimes it makes sense. She's uncannily clever and has a strong head for numbers. I want to be like her, confident and capable.

"Leah, let's see what these New Hampshire guys like more, dark and mysterious..." she says on her more adventuresome nights, giving me an appreciative once-over, "or blonde and frivolous!" I laugh at her because she's _anything_ but frivolous, but she plays airhead really well. It's great fun exercising the intoxicating power of beauty and just enjoying the freedom that comes with having no pack or brothers around to tell you to knock it off. It's amazing the amount of free drinks we are able to finagle from these superficial fellas. It makes me feel good that I'm at least in competition with her. I win these vixen games at least half of the time -when the guys at the club want "dark and mysterious." We always get a cab home giggling all over each other.

The thing that I find somewhat strange, though, is her steadfast determination to get me to hook up with someone, anyone. It's really weird. It's like what I'd been trying to do to Bella and Jake to test their love, like a petrie dish to help me determine my own future. Like Bella, though, I can't seem to shake my thoughts of Embry and worse, the distressingly strong hold of Stefan even with the smorgasbord of devastatingly handsome guys his sister finds for me.

I still have my secrets from both Felicia and Bella. Neither knows how much of my life Embry has come to occupy. His letters and e-mails are mine and I don't want to share. Born of necessity, I look at my growing relationship with him as a sweet secret, one I am afraid to bring out into the light, afraid of jinxing it - afraid it isn't real, doubly afraid that it is.

Coward that I am, I haven't told Embry of Felicia or Stefan. There's really nothing to tell, I keep assuring myself. The content of my letters to him keep to more important things, like school and how I feel about him. That's as it should be, why stress him out when there's _nothing_ going on? I don't know if it is fair, but it is what it is and I never claimed to be a selfless wolf. Truth be told, there's nothing more that I want than for Stefan to fall into a deep hole never to be seen again. I have this sick feeling though, that I'm just at the beginning of this twisted adventure called my life.

Like Bella and Jake who regularly teleconference after dinner, I do look for Embry's e-mails everyday, but geeze, it's not what gets me to sleep at night! _Not really._ Admittedly, though, technology does rock. Because of it, I am able to fend off my own sporadic homesickness. Seeing Seth's goofy face onscreen and being able to reassure my mom that I am doing fine keeps me fairly buoyant - buoyant for me, that is.

Today, though, I'm not feeling upbeat at all. I am stressed and am in need of a serious break. I'm all packed and I'm sick of seeing the snow.

I miss Embry something fierce.

I need to run.

This time, I want to run as a wolf. I've been avoiding phasing since Thanksgiving, thinking I might be able to beat it - to stop phasing, but today, I'm just going to do it and since I'm doing it so early, I'm hoping that maybe Embry's in wolf form, too.

It's times like these, when I feel the need to pace, that I realize I love being able to phase. I love the superhuman speed and the feeling of being able to touch ultimate freedom.

So, I pull on my favorite running outfit and make for my favorite spot in the woods.

_

* * *

POV: Stefan

* * *

_

Felicia had been wrong about the day the girls would leave for home. Annoyed at her, I make do and try to make myself scarce, but I ran into Bella anyway. She didn't seem alarmed. She was welcoming even, asking if I'd like to come over for some cocoa. Reading her, I know she wants to introduce me to Leah. I resist the urge to accept. I go to the woods instead. So, that is where I am tonight when I spy unfamiliar movement on the ground below.

I know I should not stay in the woods once I realize _her_ presence, but I am mesmerized, just I had been when I first laid eyes on her. I watch her pull off her shirt. My curiosity and, of course, my manhood are intrigued. When I see she is intent on stripping naked, thoughts of leaving completely flee my mind. She is beauty personified. Her lean muscles ripple beneath her taut skin and even in my animal form, I feel myself respond to her.

I wonder what she is doing. It is far too cold to be _that_ naked. Is she Wiccan? About to perform some ridiculous, useless spellbinding chant? I stop my silent laughter a moment, pausing to remember that not all witches are powerless. Leah's looks are native, maybe she is going to send a spiritual dance to the heavens requesting an end to this unbearably cold winter?

Her quiet, graceful movements indicate neither. I am hypnotized, watching her hands unselfconsciously move behind her to unclasp...

It is too late when I realize she knows I'm staring. In my movements to transform, I startle her and before my very eyes she becomes a light grey wolf, smaller in stature than the were-women I'd previously encountered in my lifetime. In my shock, I forget to flee. I thought they were extinct!

Leah, the wolf-girl, is poised to pounce onto the perch I'd chosen to watch her from. The scent of her fight instinct rises and has me soundlessly lifting into the sky, a falcon. I take off, gliding high into the air. I hover above, unseen by her, watching her confused below. Soaring back to the house, I grimace even with my unbendable beak.

My speed as a lynx can only be surpassed by my speed as a falcon. Gliding high on the wind, I make it back to Felicia's place long before the girl has time to clothe herself. My sister is still out and I have the place to myself for a while yet.

Standing by the window, I pull on my shirt, and watch Leah's human form running pell-mell out of the woods. As she nears, I move into the shadows of the apartment's interior, continuing to keep my eyes on her. She seems to sense me. Her finely formed nose rises in the air, sniffing slightly. Her watchful eyes make a sweep of the property.

I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. I watch her shake her head, her black locks falling onto her face, perhaps silently convincing herself there's nothing to worry about. I hear her swift foot falls, the slam of a door, and the click of the lock as she rushes into the unit next door loudly searching for Bella.

Her mere presence as a human girl is potent enough. Knowing she is magical, like me, her pull is now simply irresistible. In the darkness of the apartment, without my sister to stop me, I release my unique, internal power that calls out to this girl. I feel her spirit answer through the unit wall.

With a predatory smile I move to stand at the door...

_

* * *

Author's Note__: If you're interested in Leah's POV when she went running and encountered Stefan in the woods, see Just One Kiss, __Ch. 25_ _Lions and Tigers and Bears... Oh, My! It includes Jake singing. . . _

_A note to Callwater fans, esp. shadowgrl: It'll be worrisome from here on out, but because Leah's still finding herself we're still in for quite a ride. **This is still definitely CallWater.** _


	23. Others

**Others  
_POV_: _Leah_**

_

* * *

_

After overcoming the raw terror I felt out in the woods, I make my way to Bella's room in time to witness the happy couple engaged in one of their lovelorn teleconferences. Jake's onscreen with his _guitar?!_ and Bella's making doe eyes at him as he serenades her. It is a vomit-inducing scene, to be sure, especially for someone as love deprived as myself. But this isn't the reason I elbow Bella away from the computer and move to take her place.

I stare into the camera, holding onto Jake's angry stare a little longer than normal. He seems to catch onto my unspoken message to contact me later. Just to make sure, I glare into the camera for good measure and make my own gruff goodbye.

I hit the offline button before Bella can get back on. She sees me do this and stands with her hands on her hips clearly annoyed at my intrusion. I pretend not to notice her anger, but she blocks the door, my only way out.

"And to think," she snaps out at me, her index finger harmlessly poking at my shoulder, "I was going to warn you about Stefan being back to visit Felicia."

As _his_ name falls from her lips, I feel a primitive tug inside of me, an incessant pull that that has me unconsciously making my way to Felicia's front door.

Bella's mouth hangs open at my unexplained, sudden departure.

The deep yearning to see _him_ pulls at me. I can't slap the need away as I did when I looked at him through the window in September. I glance back at Bella who is still giving me the stink eye for interrupting her conversation with Jake. I do my best to ignore the incessant call from next door, to focus on Bella's annoyance, but I can't make my feet move toward Bella, or my own room for that matter.

_This is worse than when Sam institutes the alpha command!_

I _have to_ go next door. I can't fight it. I despise myself for not being strong enough to resist his lure.

I hate it!

And_ I hate him_!

Intrinsically, I already know it's Stefan doing _this_, commanding me to his side as if I am just some lovesick lapdog.

I gnash my teeth against the invisible string that pulls me to him. Despite my reticence, I feel my fingers close around the front door's knob. I twist it, throw open the wooden barrier, and drag my unwilling feet out onto the porch again to feel the blast of cold air hit my overheated skin. The tears of frustration that I don't realize are falling, freeze on my cheeks.

I find myself standing outside the door, Felicia's door.

I hesitate, my mind wiling me to turn away. I try to think of Embry, but the infuriatingly forceful need to knock on the door makes his image waver. In horror, I watch my own hand lift, unbidden, to the knocker.

_So this is what it feels like to be a marionette on a string._

I have no business being here and that one thought snaps me back into myself. As I force my feet back toward my apartment, the door in front of me swings open and strong, callused fingers reach out to wrap around my still upheld wrist.

With a surprised gasp, I look up...

into hungry emerald green eyes.

Human this time...

_Very_ human.

I mentally fight against the desire to plaster myself against _him_ - Stefan. Technically, I shouldn't even know his name, we've never formally met. I find the thought completely ridiculous considering my wanton lust for his body. I continue to fight against him, trying to pull my arm out of his grasp, doing all I can not to submit to his magically powerful, biological undertow.

I begin to convince myself against succumbing. Embry's sweet smile swims in my head. It's always mind over matter, I reason. It is not like me to topple headlong into something as instinctive as mindless lust with someone, much less with some _thing_. As these thoughts sear into my mind, Stefan's grip strengthens, anchoring me to my spot. He begins to pull me toward him. I resist with all my might, digging in my heels.

I'm yanked forward, surprised by his strength and then, further shocked by the solidity of his chest. I hear the finality of the door shutting behind me.

_No_! My mind screams. I push against him, poised to let out a shout for help.

_**Don**_**'**_**t**_**!**

The masculine command explodes in my mind, similar, but stronger and deeper than the words my wolf-pack brothers send me after we've phased.

Except...

I haven't phased...

and he _isn't_ my pack brother.

_Screw_ _this_! _I_ _don_'_t_ _have_ _to_ _listen_ _to_ _him_!

I move my mouth to talk. He stops me, placing his large hand over my mouth. I'm shocked silent at the fiery heat of this touch, completely forgetting to try to embed my sharp canines into his palm. My eyes go round as it dawns on me that this guy seems to know my every thought.

He catches and holds my amazed scrutiny with his own unblinking stare. I send the question about his telepathy through my thoughts.

He grimly nods back.

My mind balks against him. Wordlessly, I tell him to get his filthy hands off of me. To his credit, his hands release their grip, though, he still touches me. I silently promise not to talk if he'll just let go.

He shakes his head, no.

I open my mouth again, but this time, to my utter amazement, his searching lips meet mine. Any words that I'd been ready to say are lost in this earth-shattering kiss. I still don't want it. I fight the desire to lose myself in it.

I forcefully shake his hands off my wrist, my lips still sealed with his. I feel my resistance to him slipping as I slide by fingers up his back. I hear the feral sound in his throat and I find, to my utter disbelief, that I am pleased.

_Oh gawd! I've lost it._

_I've completely lost my mind._

My fingers wrap themselves into his tawny hair, grabbing hold, feeling with my fingertips the hardness of his scalp. I pull him impossibly closer.

_I want to physically hurt myself for this._

I notice absently that this time, that _he's_ the one resisting, trying to pull away.

_**Stop**_**! **

His shout reverberates in my head, though not as strongly as his initial command.

_No_! I soundlessly retort. _Don_'_t_ _dish_ _it_ _out_ _if_ _you_ _can_'_t_ _take_ _it_, I add taunting him, finding my own strength in my ability to do so.

I hear him whimper and then feel a low, deep satisfied purr growing deep in his chest as he feels my arms snake around him. My fingers find their way under the hem of his shirt, feeling his hot skin. They trail his torso, outlining the strength of his muscles, and I pull him closer still. My sudden ardor seems to have him thinking better of resisting. Instead, he throws me up against the nearest wall.

If I were a normal girl, the breath would have been knocked out of me.

Instead, I am even more turned on and the passion ignites my anger. I still hate him, I still hate _this_. But I can't seem to stop myself. This is NOT what I imagined imprinting to be. God, please don't let this be an imprint.

_If it is, this is **exactly** what Embry described imprinting to be. _

_Lust, plain and simple. _

I reach for my memories of Embry, but the nearness of Stefan and whatever his ability is to wipe my mind clear, neutralizes my valiant efforts to steel myself against this inner turmoil.

_This is horrible! So incredibly terrible!_

I want to sob.

The smoldering hunger for me emblazons in his eyes, but he pulls away in what I can only guess is shock at my wholly negative reaction to him. I catch a glimpse of sadness in the verdant depths of his gaze. His empathy for my plight makes me gasp and suddenly my need for him rages again. I reach for him and grab him up close. I feel his entire body against mine, rocking against me. I run my hand against his aching desire. His passionate moan fills my ears. I feel his hands roaming my body, stroking me in places that only one other person has ever had hands on. Our teeth knock against each other as we continue our amazing lip-lock.

It occurs to me that within the space of a few minutes, all that I've ever done physically with Sam I've already done with this _stranger_. All that I've experienced at Embry's hands, is being overwritten by this _godawful being_, whatever_ he is_. What's worse is I haven't even heard him speak my name yet.

_Does he even know my name? _

In this position Stefan's the one with the control and I don't like it. So, I whip around with my own super-human strength, sandwiching him against me and the wall. He seems surprised at my strength. I feel his lips curl up against mine in admiration.

I want to mold myself to him, whatever creature from hell he might be. This blazing desire engulfs my every thought and I am a victim to its every flickering whim. I feel both his questing hands continue to learn my body, I squirm to allow every inch of myself to be revered by his touch.

_This is complete madness! _

_Please, __**someone**__ make me stop!_

Suddenly, my head is yanked nearly all the way backwards. My scalp is on fire as I realize someone, not Stefan, has a fistful of my hair. Not quite the way I pictured my prayer would be answered, but, hey, at least it's effective.

I release my hold on Stefan, and feel myself being lifted and pulled away. Then I feel the unusual sensation of falling backward. Landing back first on the ground, I see Stefan struggling to move and speak, but he seems to be clawing against some invisible force.

_Felicia is home._

"Get out!" she snarls at me.

I don't recognize the girl I've been palling around with in this half-crazed woman standing above me. She grabs hold of my shoulder and finds a pressure point there. I realize I should phase and attack, but as soon as the thought flashes in my mind, something captures and squeezes against my instinct to do so. I find that despite my anger, I _can't_ phase.

I am helpless under her fingers, terrified to find myself forced to follow her orders.

"Did he speak to you?" she gnashes the question out at me. I am confused and can't answer.

After all, he _sort of did_ talk to me.

She looks at me like I'm the dumbest creature she's ever laid eyes on.

As though speaking to someone hard of hearing and unacquainted with the language, she repeats haltingly, "Did. He. Talk. To. You? Did. You. Hear. His. Voice?" She makes motions with her free hand, indicating words coming from her mouth.

Oh,_ well in that case,_ I glare at her as I shake my head, no. _Bitch_, I think hatefully.

As soon as Felicia sees my answer, with amazing strength, she bodily flings me out into the cold. I find myself kneeling, dry heaving, on the edge of porch, inches away from breaking my neck on the frozen steps. I watch her slam the door shut, the power of it rattles my teeth.

Though I am as far away as I can be from their door, I can still hear her screeching words in a language I don't understand.

I crawl back into my apartment, aching all over.

From where I am on all fours, I see Bella's back at the breakfast table, her iPod earbuds in her ears. I can hear the soft music coming from them all the way to where am.

Unnoticed by Bella, I slowly crawl my way into my bedroom and push the door closed. I'm sitting, now, my back resting against the door's hardwood. I thread my fingers into my hair, my elbows rest on my knees.

I hang my head and begin to weep.

~ * ~ * ~

I don't know how long I've been crying, but I hear the familiar buzzing of my cellphone in its charging dock next to the computer on my desk. I make my way over to the other side of the room, reaching for my candyapple red Sidekick.

I look at the name on the screen.

_It's Jake._

I flip on the phone. I try to sound normal. My voice doesn't come out quite the way I want it to.

"Jake?"

"Did I wake you," he asks, hearing the rasp in my voice.

"No, something happened," I choke trying to keep from crying again.

"What, is it Bella? Is she OK?!" he sounds frantic on the other line.

"Yes! Yes! _she_'_s_ fine," I cry out heartsick and bitter towards him for not being someone who would be concerned about _me_ first for a change. I am further upset that he is _not_ the werewolf I want to have to turn to right now.

"It's _me,_ Jake. Something's happened to _me_!"

_

* * *

**POV: Jacob**_

For the first time since Leah answered the phone, I really listen to her. She sounds... _scared_. The vibe I'm getting off of her is definitely one of fear. Leah is not afraid of _anything_. And knowing this makes my hot blood run cold.

I called ready for a fight, ready to yell at her for interrupting my time with Bella, but find myself truly concerned for... _my friend_?

_Weird._

I process the thought speedily. In that space of time, I hear Leah's muffled, pained mewling, trying to hide her crying from me.

_Yes, she's my friend_, I quickly decide on a sigh.

"Leah, hey, girie-wolf, what's wrong," I ask gently, using my regular taunt as an endearment tonight. My unfamiliar tone seems to unravel her already tenuous control over her distress.

"The girl next door, she... she pulled my hair and threw me out of the house," she whines in a little girl voice.

_She's losing it,_ I think. _This is NOT Leah._

"Leah, listen to me," I say forcefully, unleashing a little of the alpha command in my voice, "Stop!"

I hear her stifle a sniffle. _Good,_ I sigh inwardly relievied. "You are strong. Hell, you're a Quileute werewolf! You can't be thrown around by just _any_ girl."

"I know!" There's a woebegone sound in her two words that pulls at my instinctive need to protect the members of my pack. "Jake, he took Sam away. Sam is gone from inside me! I don't feel him inside me anymore!"

I try and fail miserably to follow Leah's broken, grief-stricken babble.

"Leah, calm down," I growl, my frustration emanating from the fact I can do little to help her from across the continent. "You're not making sense. First, tell me if you're hurt. Then, start from the beginning."

I hear her try to take in a calming breath. It's weary and ragged. My worry increases.

"No, I'm not hurt. Sore, not hurt. But, Jake... Jake, I think I _imprinted_," she barely speaks the words. I am at a loss. I still don't understand. She should be elated, not distressed.

"You _imprinted_ on the _girl_ next door?" I ask, truly confounded.

"No! Damn you, Jake! This IS NOT FUNNY!" she howls into the phone, causing me to pull my receiver away from my ear. I let her finish cussing me out._ Her mouth really needs a good soap washing,_ I think, shaking my head at her creative use of epithets.

"OK! OK!" I say as calmly as I can into the phone once she's finished. "I'll shut up, you talk."

"The g-girl next door, F-_Felicia_, has a _b-brother_ named, S-_Stefan_," she says, hiccuping the words. "I think I i-imprinted on _h-__him_ and s-she doesn't like it."

"I didn't even know there was someone living next door," I say, already breaking my promise to keep my mouth shut.

"Oh, Bella hasn't told you?" she sounds suddenly intrigued, despite the catch in her voice that says tears are not far away. "Well, it figures, Bella doesn't like her much, and that's the understatement of the year," she adds wryly.

I let this fact sit for examination on another day. I know Leah needs to tell me her story. "OK, anyway, how do you know you imprinted?" I ask. "Wouldn't I have known it by now if you did?"

"It happened on the day you left," she says.

"Leah, Labor Day was ages ago. I would have felt something if you did imprint."

"I've only phased three times since you came out for your visit and usually it's when you guys are asleep," she admits, knowing full well I know she avoids wolf form when there might be minds awake to hear her.

"Well, that would explain it. OK," I say, starting to piece it together, "So, how do you know you imprinted and what's with the girl and her superhuman strength?" I ask, trying to be patient.

"That's just it, Jake, I don't know," her voice is teetering on a wail again, so I try to stop asking questions that might upset her. I just let her talk. "I saw _him_. Then, my life's breath and my heart stopped for a second. After that, it felt I was keeping up with his heart's rhythm, and not mine anymore. I can't stay away from him when he's around."

"He talked to me in my mind," she whispers as though telling me a shameful secret. I bite off my questioning reply, waiting for her to continue. "It was like the way you and I talk when we're wolves. Except I wasn't a wolf when he talked to me that way. And I wasn't a wolf when I answered him back."

There was only one other person I knew who had telepathic powers and it sent a shiver up my spine to think what this might mean for Leah.

"Is he a _vampire_, Leah?"

"Hell, no! That's sicker than sick, Jake, what are you thinking?!" She's starting to sound hysterical again. "He doesn't smell like that. He smells... _perfect_... and I... I... _kissed_ him and well... We can't DO THAT with vampires!"

"T.M.I., Leah! T.M.I.," I shout interrupting her. Geeze, she's like an annoying sister, I don't want to have _that_ picture in my head! I've already got too many images in my head about _her_ thanks to my lusty pack brothers, especially from Embry of late.

_Oh, shit! Embry! _I push the thought of him away, trying to focus.

We both try to calm down. My mind is spinning with her news. I talk out loud to sort it out.

"Strength, telepathy. Imprint. Uh, Leah, is he and, or is she a werewolf?"

"No, I don't think....," she pauses mid-thought, seeming to recall something. Then, she adds in a voice that sounds like she's finally gaining control of herself again, "Well, it's _possible_. They _might_ be."

"What do you mean, it's _possible_?"

"I saw something in the woods, tonight, Jake. I saw its eyes. It wasn't an ordinary animal watching me."

A shiver runs through me at her words. We share a thoughtful silence.

"And Jake, whatever they are, it's possible one of them knows what I am."

I let out a low whistle.

"There's more Jake," she says quietly. "Felicia took away my ability to phase."

"For forever?" I ask.

"I don't know," she admits. "I haven't tried since."

Maybe I should go and tell Sam," I say, afraid for her. Afraid for all of us.

"No, Jake" I hear her say. "Please, let me tell him." And in the remaining silence, I hear her unspoken plea for me to keep this from Embry, too.

* * *

**Meanwhile...  
POV: Felicia**

I'm pacing. I hate pacing. It's so base. It makes me appear out of control.

I search for calm, stopping my movement, gathering a calming breath. I am infuriated with Stefan. The words tripping out of my mouth are ancient, angry, cutting words, serving to remind Stefan that he does not have the luxury to indulge in such human desires. It is his plight, for he will be punished for such insolence and me alongside him.

_Curse the gods! Rather curse that wicked witch that did this to us in the first place._

He was putting himself at risk, and putting me in the position of being his guardian, again!

Enough!

Men are so stupid, my brother included! Always thinking below the belt first, never considering the consequences. I look disdainfully at him, too handsome for his own good. Too male to realize the dangerous power he could offer this girl, Leah. His idiocy ignores the dangerous position he places her in, this one I have finally come to even like... a little.

I scowl at him. Just like a brother to mess things up!

"What were you thinking?!" I screech at him. As I hear my tone, even abrasive to my ear, I try to remind myself that men have historically been the victims in our world. It is with gratitude that I remember that the female power reigns supreme.

_Thank the goddesses!_

He is still soundless, still thrashing against the invisible bonds I've placed on him. "Don't you remember the last time this happened?" I fume at him. "You were not strong enough to withstand the pull from that woman in Nevada. I had to get rid of her _for you_!"

His look shoots daggers at me. I know he despises his helplessness and his impotent role in our twin relationship. The man in him fights to be the protector. But the fates have robbed him of that.

My agitation is causing an ancient need within me, to draw up my power to break something. I realize, suddenly, that I need to hear him shout back for me to regain my control. I am pacing and need to get rid of the anger by letting him unleash his fury on me.

"You are not my keeper, _sister_!' Stefan roars, a look of relief overcoming him as he realize the words have finally escaped his throat. The familial word used as an expletive to emphasize his rage. "This girl is _different_! I was in control!"

I throw him a dubious glare. When I walked in, it definitely looked like Leah was the one in control. If it hadn't been for me, he'd have forgotten himself with her. Then, she would be holding all the cards right now. I was right to toss her out into the night.

"We are leaving, now, brother," I say calmly. "We will not be put through _this_ again. Centuries will not make up for the crimes I have had to commit to keep you out of bonds caused by these women of the hoi polloi."

I move closer to him and put my hand on his cheek. Thankfully, his talent can not penetrate my skull when I do not wish it. I am and will always be far more powerful than my twin.

"I can't watch you go through _that_ again. Not at the hands of a mere human."

He stares at me. Suddenly, I see a light of triumph in his eyes as he speaks his next words.

"She is _not_ human, Felicia"

I slit my eyes, examining my brother. "And how would you know that, Stefan?"

My fingers grip his shoulder. I watch him grimace as he feels the pressure, a warning for him not to lie for her.

"I watched her shift. The wolf, _úlfrinn_, is her form."

I stare at him in silence and finally let go. I am sure of his truthfulness.

I break into a wide grin.

"Well, Stefan, this little bit of news changes everything."

I watch him wilt in relief, resting against the invisible ties that still hold him against the wall. He remembers himself and resumes his fight against them. I allow for the bonds to slacken and his straining is rewarded as he topples onto the floor.

"Does she know of our world?" I ask, standing over him, sure of my safety, for Stefan fears me... just a little.

"She is a young one," he answers thoughtfully. "She is not aware of her power. Felcia, she is not exactly like us, her understanding of the world seems... limited."

"You saw that in her?" I sigh, now calm, realizing his readings of her would have had him in full control of the situation, regardless of how it might have looked to an outsider.

"I did," he says, nodding.

"Well, brother, are you ready to make this sorceress's curse a blessing?" I query, closing my eyes and moving to sit beside him. Maybe there were others like her, our search for more of our kind to end that witch's treachery has finally come to a close. Maybe soon, Stefan's studies will finally pay off for us.

I watch him swallow, his adam's apple bobs at his throat. The end of this hellacious existence seems finally within reach.

_We've waited so long._

_A millennium._

"It has been a long time, Felicia," his answer is hesitant, unsure. "What do I remember of that kind of love?"

"You'll remember, Stefan," I respond confidently. "Such things, no matter how long ago, are not so easily to forgotten."


	24. Alpha Commands

**Alpha Commands**

_Author's Note: Hopefully you can follow this one. It's my longest chapter. EVER. Watch for the changing POVs and time setting. Some of it's totally lifted from JOK, but slightly changed to account for Embry, so you'll want to read it even if you feel like you've read it before! Covers most of winter break. Happy Reading!_

* * *

**Telling Sam  
_POV: Leah_**

_

* * *

_

The snow is falling and I'm standing on Sam's porch completely unsure of what I should say. Bella and I have been home for nearly a week and a half. I know she's out there, somewhere, snuggling with Jake. The thought brings a scowl to my lips. I want to be somewhere like that with someone I care deeply about. Despite this stray thought, I am, if only because of this insane situation, happy that Embry is _not_ in LaPush this holiday.

After having put off this errand for days, I'm finally here, the very last place I want to be, and I'm practicing what to say in my head. I stare at the door in front of me.

_What is it with me and standing on porches, anyway?! _

_OK, Leah, focus! _I scold myself. _Let's see. What to say, what to say..._

_How about,_ "So, um, hi, Sam. Long time. Yeah, I totally went AWOL on you guys to pursue a yet undefined future career far, far, far away, but I'm back to tell you there's something out there that's way scarier than vampires and werewolves. Yeah, and I think I _imprinted_ on it!"

_Oh! That is SO not going to work._

I roll my eyes at my ineptitude, shake my head and drag my snow-tipped mitten across my warm face.

_Why the hell am I wearing this?_ I think, lamely, focusing on something to procrastinate on. _It's not like I'm really cold! _

Ah, but the softness of my cream-colored cashmere winter accessories against my skin do give me some extra courage to face Sam. I knew damn well I looked good and well, if not satisfied, at least well-kissed, for once.

_Hey, what girl wouldn't be in my position? I mean if you look at the bright side, I've got TWO gorgeous magical guys lusting after me. That seems like happy, happy Bella-land to me! _

_Yeah, right._

_Focus, Leah!_ I reprimand myself.

_Ugh._

I suck at words. Since that godawful day when Sam pulled me into his arms, trying to explain how it wasn't me that drove him to Emily, I just have been tongue-tied around him. The only time he seems to know me through and through is when I'm running with the pack.

And just like that, it suddenly occurs to me that I _don't_ have to talk at all.

I just have to phase, when Sam does. Now, all I have to figure out is when he does that.

_How to get that information?_

_Emily._

I stride back to my car and drive on home. Once I get into my driveway, I give my cousin a call.

"Em?"

"Leah? Is that you?" her surprised, happy voice greets me. "I heard you were back in town. Will you come by to see me? How are you? What have you been doing? What's the east coast like? Oh! Listen to me... sorry..."

I listened to her voice trail off, and cleared my throat. "Em, I..." _For chrissakes, spit it out!_ I scream at myself. "I met someone while I was at school. I was... um... hoping to talk to Sam about it. If that's OK with you."

"Really?! You met someone?!" I could feel the vibration of her joy clear across the blocks that separated her house from mine. And suddenly she stops. I sense she realizes something is amiss. "But, why do you want to talk to _Sam_?"

"I actually don't _want_ to talk to him," I admit honestly. "I can't explain it, Emily. I think I imprinted. I don't want to tell him, because it's... well... It's complicated. I think I need to show him, though. Em, will you help me? I need to know when he's going to phase next so I can show him. I can be sitting right next to you instead of being with him when I do it, too." The words come out faster and faster as I end my request.

I hold my breath waiting for her answer.

"Of course, I'll help you, Leah," my cousin answers happily. "Come by after supper. He'll go for a run then. You can shift in the house and I'll keep you company when you send him your message."

"Thanks, Emily," I sigh into the phone. "I owe you one."

"No, Leah, you don't. I'm the one in your debt. This is the least I can do," Emily says quietly, the unspoken words of apology hang in the air between our cell phones. "I'll see you tonight."

_

* * *

**POV: Sam**

* * *

_

It's strange how Emily forced me out of the house to go run tonight. I touch my gut self-consciously trying to figure out if she thinks I'm getting pudgy around the middle. If I am, it's all her fault, cooking the way she does. I haven't had to phase for a long while. I ponder why she wants me to do it now.

Well, whatever, I think. Maybe it'll be nice to have some wolf time. I feel the shiver down my spine as I shift into my Alpha state. Almost before my massive paws hit the ground, I hear her. She's close.

_Sam?_

_Oh! _

I'm startled by the strength in her voice. I haven't heard her call me by my name like that in a long time.

_Leah. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so... nearby. Do you want me to phase back, give you some privacy?_

_What? No! I needed to speak to you. You know, pack wolf to Alpha._

I focus in on her and realize she's surrounded by a familiar setting. Emily is sitting on the sofa nearby. Is Leah in my house?

_Yeah, I'm at your place. Emily told me you were going to phase tonight._

I force my thoughts about my soon-to-be wife safely away in the handy Alpha mind hidey-hole I'd accidentally found after the vampire fight. Useful, this little mind cubby, especially because I don't want Leah completely aware that I'd been tricked into this meeting.

_Couldn't you have come to talk to me instead?_ I ask her as I dash through the forest farther from my place, exercising my four limbs in a way I haven't done in weeks.

_I can't talk to you. You must know that. You need to be able to hear my thoughts. It's easier for me this way. You owe me that. It's one of the few benefits of this lousy connection we have, _she replies somewhat bent out of shape, but I can tell she's not agitated by me, for once.

I don't bother to answer, waiting instead to proceed at her own pace.

'_K, well, then, here goes..._

I sit down to focus on the message Leah tries to relay to me. I see green eyes, they glow in the night. The eyes, I realize, belong to a man. He looks about my age, taller than Jake. I wonder at that. His build is strong. Where my coloring is dark, his is light. Blond, green-eyed, alabaster skin. And, I realize there's something about him that makes my fur stand up at my neck.

_Who is he?_ I bark.

_His name is Stefan. I think I imprinted on him._

I stop a moment, and stuff more private thoughts into the hidey hole, trying to keep my composure.

_Nice to know you still care, Sammy._

I startle at the nickname. No one calls me that except her and it's been nearly two years since I've heard her use it.

_Course I do, Lee-Lee. So what was it like? _I struggle for calm, throwing her pet name right back at her. I'm surprised she doesn't fight me about it. I'm now truly curious, wondering if this imprint isn't good for her after all. In the end, I do want to see her happy, but I worry because of the other things I know... about Embry.

She replays her moment of imprint. Stunning. The impact is so different from mine. Hers comes softly at first, then crashes into her like a tsunami. Mine was less of a hard blow. I read into her now. She doesn't want it.... She sends another picture, again, green eyes in the dark. This time, animal.

_I don't get it Leah,_ I say frustrated.

_Yeah, me too... I really don't want to show you this next part, Sam. Promise me you won't hurt him._

I can almost hear her pacing

_We are sworn to protect each other's imprints, Leah. That doesn't change even though this Stefan is not Quileute. _I shake my head at her forgetfulness.

_Swear anyway, _she demands.

_Fine, I swear._ I growl at her._ Now show me._

She sends me her memories of him and her together. They are crashing into one another, nearly devouring one other in their desire. Unable to resist one another's pull.

_I really don't need to see this, Leah,_ I warn her.

_Wait, yes you do,_ she quietly replies.

I watch him slam her up against the wall. I stand up, suddenly, as if to protect her from the force of that blow.

She holds her own. I see. I'm as uncomfortable as only an ex-boyfriend has any right to be, knowing what she and I did during our most intimate times together hardly compares to the ravenous pairing I'm now witnessing in her mind.

I can't help but feel a little bit of jealously swim up within. I stamp it down forcefully.

_I'm sorry, Sam! You really do have to see this, though, to understand this next part. I'm sorry._

_Get on with it, then, Leah! What do you want me to see? _I fairly snarl at her. A whisper from my heart enters my mind, telling me she's trying to get back at me for my imprinting.

_I'm not! I swear!_I hear her say in response to my careless, unguarded thought._ I know you've suffered to._

I search her and I realize she's telling the truth. She _is_ suffering because of this imprint and I want to whine out against the pain I would never wish on her... _or Embry_.

A half-thought stumbles in her brain when she catches Embry's name in mine. I know she does not want me to speak of this to him. I send her a mental note telling her Embry will be kept out of this.

My promise unleashes her next memory. I feel her head snapping back, her back crashing onto the ground and see another set of green eyes. All angry, seething. The words from this_ woman... was she just a woman? _Words that make little sense, slash at Leah. I watch as Leah denies having heard his voice.

So suddenly after her nod, I feel Leah's memory of the wind whipping around her body, a strange, unfamiliar feeling of being suddenly airborne and crashing onto a wooden porch. I feel her fear, and taste her despair at being ripped from her imprint's arms.

Stunned, I realize, _that_ girl _threw_ Leah. And that even in her red-hazed anger, Leah hadn't phased to protect herself. Her imprint seemed frozen to his spot, unable to move. But his facial expressions and what little movements his body had been able to make screamed his intention to guard her against the strange woman who looked the spitting image of him.

_What the hell?_

_Exactly,_ I hear Leah say in reply.

_I'm coming home. You _WILL_ be there when I get back._

I hear her mentally nod. It's not a request.

It's an Alpha command.

* * *

**Great, Just Great  
**_**POV: Jake**_

_

* * *

_

The summoning howl I'd been waiting for since Leah and Bella's return finally reaches my ears. Bella and Charlie left an hour ago to go pick up their Christmas tree. Billy was dozing in front of the T.V. I'm sitting trying clumsily to wrap some recently purchased gifts. I don't want to meet the pack. I know I'm going to have to pay for not warning Sam.

_Damn, Leah!_

_Crap._

I shouldn't have listened to her. I also don't want to shift.

The howling is more insistent and I can no longer pretend to ignore it.

_Fine. Damn it! Fine!_

I toss the colorful ribbons aside, pull off my shirt, hang it on the back of my chair, kick off my shoes and socks and run out the door. All members of the pack, except Embry, who's probably laying on some warm beach in Miami, are assembled already. I am the last to take my place in the circle. I watch Sam pace as he silently relays his recent discovery of Leah's imprint.

_Is that what we're calling it, then? _I think, forgetting that my thoughts are an open book.

_Thanks, Jake,_ Leah mutters bitterly beside me, a thought focused on implanting itself in my grey matter.

_What else would it be, Jake,_ I hear others ask, used to ignoring Leah's temper tantrums.

_I don't know, but whatever this Stefan is, _I say joining the mind conversation,_ he and his sister are NOT human._

I listen to the pack discuss the possibilities. I catch an idle thought from Sam, something about descendants of the Children of the Moon?

_Weird._

No one else seems to have caught it. I stare hard at Sam and he glares back at me. It doesn't seem like Sam wants anyone else to know about that little tidbit.

I gaze up into the sky. I see a bird fly across it, passing the moon. A predator, I think idly. Beautiful bird. It perches on a nearby tree. I turn away to capture Leah's gaze.

She's staring at the bird, too.

Sam calls for our attention and he's sending out marching orders. This will not be discussed out of the circle we've formed tonight. Anyone who wasn't part of this circle, packmate or not, would not be told of Stefan. Then Sam said one of us has to return to New Hampshire with Leah.

I think, _Oh, good, Embry! _

Leah and Sam simultaneously whip their eyes toward me and shout, "NO!" into my head. The rest of the pack is confused while my head rings from their combined mental shout.

Now everyone's staring at _me_.

Great.

Just great.

* * *

**December 25**  
_**POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

At 7 a.m. my cellphone rings, waking me from a hard earned deep slumber. Annoyed, I whack my phone and its charging stand with my hand and my beloved cell sails off my nightstand onto the rug below. It's silent for a moment, then buzzes annoyingly on the floor, indicating I have new voicemail. I ignore it, waiting, hoping to recapture my former dreamless state. The attempt at unconsciousness is lost when my ringtone, Shakira's _She Wolf_, plays again. I open one eye to stare at the number on the itty bitty screen. It's a number I don't recognize with an unfamiliar area code. Damn telemarketers! Can't they give it a rest, it's... _Christmas_!

_9-4-1 area code._

_Oh, wait._

_Could it be Florida?_ My heart skips a beat.

_Maybe? _I hurriedly roll off the bed and capture the phone in my hand and flip it open.

"Hullo?" I mumble, my voice groggy.

"What's up, Buttercup?"

"Embry?!" My mouth moves into an instant smile, so pleased to hear his deep voice.

"Merry Christmas, Leah!"

"Merry Christmas, Embry, I didn't know you celebrated," I reply lamely.

"It's secular," he says laughing, "besides, I needed an excuse to call you. I thought it would be nice to spread joy and good cheer."

He sounds so happy to be talking to me.

I feel so bad not being able to tell him what's been going on.

_I can't._

"You never need an excuse to call me," I purr. I shake off sleep and try to concentrate on him.

"So, Embry..."

"Don't start, Leah," his voice carrying a warning that I choose to ignore.

"... have you imprinted yet?"

"Dammit, Leah! Why do you always have to go and ruin-"

"No, you haven't?" I continue, breaking into his scolding, "I wish you would already, you know-"

I want so much to tell him about what's happened, but my fear that he'll pull away is palatable. _I can't tell him_. I hold tightly to the part of me that wants to spare him the devastation I've experienced. So, I force myself to push him away, using the only weapon left in my arsenal. I need him to hate me. That's far better than getting torn apart inside.

_I know he hates this part._

"It sure would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier," I say matter of factly.

There's silence on the other end.

My heart stops.

I think that's it, I might have finally accomplished the mission I abhor. Make Embry stop caring, so he won't ever feel the pain I did after Sam...

"Is that what _you_ want, Leah?!" his voice is infuriated, not dejected as I'd hoped.

I sigh.

He still cares.

My traitorous heart flutters.

He's still going to fight me.

"You want an easier life, Leah?" he challenges sharply. I can envision his dark eyes flashing.

"Actually, yes, I do," I reply petulantly.

"Well, don't count on me to give _that_ to you," he says somewhat calmer now, almost amused. "You know, I figure you just don't want to grow, you stubborn wolf. You like relying on your old feelings - ones you already know how to wear. You don't want to think about how you might feel about me. I'm OK with that, _for now_, but don't play it like I'll be the one to walk away from this, Leah. That's _not_ going to happen."

"So, you'll still wait for me to be ready? Even if _my growth_ will put _you_ through hell?" I ask incredulously. "Are you a sucker for punishment, Embry?"

"Yes, Leah, I'm still hoping we've got a future," he says with great patience. "In the meantime, I'm working on me, which is turning out to be more work than I realized." He doesn't sound mad anymore. He sounds almost tender. "_You_ just don't seem to be taking this whole 'finding yourself' very well."

I make a scoffing noise as he continues.

_If he only knew._

"I don't like punishment, Leah," he softly announces, pausing a moment, to lovingly add, "but I am a sucker for you."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to fend off the tears. I just can't keep a little whimper from escaping my lips. Of course, his ear catches the sound.

_Damn werewolf!_

"Do you really want me out of your life?"

_Now?! _

_Now, he sounds concerned and hurt, after he says something like _**_that_**_?!_

"Leah, do you want me to leave you alone for awhile?"

I think about how easy it would be to cut him off. It sounds like he'd go, too, even if it's just for a little while.

But...

_I can't._

"No, of course not, Embry," I admit quietly, honest for once. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd go on, of course," he says brightly, pleased with my admission. "But you'd be miserable, Buttercup. It's best if you keep me in your life. Learn to be happy. Now, let's start over. Merry Christmas, Leah."

Forcing myself to clear my head of worries. I smile a little smile.

"Merry Christmas, Embry. You know what?" I softly tease, "I'm wearing green..."

_

* * *

**December 30, on an airplane...  
**__POV: Jake

* * *

_

"I don't even know if he's with his sister, Jake," whimpers Leah, sitting beside me in coach.

My irritation is heightened. I hate these flying sardine cans. I'm barely able to fold into my seat without banging my head and knees.

_Only now she comes up with this?_

"Leah, you couldn't have thought to have brought _this_ up with Sam _before_ he bought the plane tickets?" I ask snarling grumpily at my teary eyed seat mate. It enrages to see her so freaking girly. "Stop it!" I command with a low growl.

She bites back a soft little sob. I roll my eyes at her. _So fucking dramatic! _

I have to skip out on my already rare days with Bella, _ordered_ to accompany Leah back to New Hampshire. To do what, exactly? To protect her? To find out what these two freaks were about? Why couldn't Leah have just called it quits and come back home for the rest of the school year? Then, at least Bella would come home too, maybe.

I'm still just so bent out of shape about about this whole thing I can barely think straight.

The night of the pack meeting, Sam pulled rank on me. After that, there were no more question about who was going to go. When he got around to buying the tickets for us, he _forgot_ to ask Bella when _she_ was going back.

_So bogus!_

I close my eyes, imagining Bella at Charlie's house. She's not scheduled to be back at Dartmouth for another _three_ days.

I am stuck with Leah.

_I swear, I'm going to kill her._

"I'm sorry, Jake, you know how it is," her apology is sincere. "Sam, goes Alpha, I go forgetful."

"Sure. Sure," I say, closing my eyes. I know this has got to be hard for Leah and I know I'd be able to count on her if the roles were reversed. At least, I _hope_ that's true.

An image of her laughing uncontrollably at me in her place, enters my mind. I shake my head a little to clear it.

It was going to be a long three days without Bella.

Great.

Just great.

* * *

**Matchmaker, Matchmaker  
**_**Back in Forks, December 30  
POV: Bella**_

_

* * *

_

A knock at my door has me racing to open it. I'm still hoping against hope that it's Leah and Jake telling me they changed their minds and they're going to wait to go back when I do. But I know Leah's classes start a few days earlier than mine and for whatever reason, Sam wants Jake up there to meet Stefan if Leah did indeed imprint on him.

I open the door to find friendly, gemstone green eyes staring down at me.

"Hey, this is sure a surprise," I say happily, moving aside to welcome Stefan into Charlie's house.

So, his archeological studies finally have him up here on the Washington coast. I'd counted on him remembering to look me up once he got here. While I despised his sister to the bone, Stefan was someone I wanted to get to know better, especially if he was at all interested in Leah. Something had happened between the two that night when she rudely interrupted my nightly call with Jake, but Leah still isn't talking about it. Her surly attitude keeps me from pressing, though.

Getting her together with Stefan was the only reason I'd agreed to her and Jake leaving for New Hampshire without me. Leah just needed a boyfriend, then she'd leave Jake and me alone. I also want Stefan to be that guy. Nothing seemed to ever come of that summer thing with Embry. Anyway, Stefan seems strong enough not to let Leah lead him around by the nose, not to mention that he's drop dead gorgeous.

There had been something about Jake's shifty stance the day they told me Sam ordered Leah and him back to the East Coast. It had me thinking he was keeping something from me, but it wasn't like I wasn't aware there was something _different_ about Stefan and his eerily beautiful sister. The thought of her possibly meeting Jake without me, stops my heart mid-beat.

Leah promised to call if it happened. I remain skeptical. But Leah's the one who finally convinced me to allow whatever might happen to happen.

"Better _now_, Bella," she'd gently urged. "Let him go and if your worst fear happens, well then, at least you'll know what you're up against. And maybe you'll be lucky. Maybe he'll resist her... somehow."

_Boy, oh, boy, wouldn't Leah and Jake be in for a huge surprise to find that the man they went out to look for was standing right on my front porch,_ I think.

"Hi, Bella," Stefan's voice is as smooth as honey. "I was hoping you'd be home." He takes a step into the house, assessing the inside from the front hall.

My smile widens as I belatedly realize that wherever this guy is, especially around the holidays, it's likely his sister wouldn't be that far behind. If my assumptions prove true, then Felicia's thankfully out of Jake's way while I am still at home for the New Year with Charlie.

Before closing the door, I take a moment to peek at his car, finding the girl I have in mind sitting in the font seat checking her cellphone. My heart leaps at the good luck.

"What can I do for you, Stefan?" I ask deliberately not including Felicia in my hospitable invitation. Still, I want to be helpful, especially if he did turn out to be Leah's soul mate.

"I'm wondering if you know anyone I might be able to talk to at the Quileute reservation about doing some studies over there in La Push?"

I give him a toothy smile, knowing I am finally going to be able to turn the tables on Leah and play matchmaker for her. I reach for my phone and make a gesture towards the kitchen table, motioning for him to sit. I punch in the numbers and hold the receiver up to my ear. As he eases himself into a nearby chair, I pat his shoulder and send him a smile.

I hear someone pick up on the other end.

"Hi, Billy, it's Bella..."

* * *

**POV: Stefan**

* * *

Stepping inside her green garland bedecked home, I am flooded with the feeling that it was right to come visit Bella.

Only two days ago, I finally looked at a map and discovered that her home in Forks was very close to LaPush. Felicia and I had been scouting the area south of the Makah Reservation, where I am currently working, hoping to narrow in on a way to speed up entrance to the Quileute lands. It was a random memory of Bella telling me about Forks, Washington at my last meeting that had me looking up her home address.

A girl we ran into at the town diner, Angela, I think her name was, told Felicia and me she was friends with Bella. As soon as I asked her where I could find her, the girl thought about Bella's address. I caught the flash of information even though Angela told me she wasn't comfortable telling me without Bella's consent. It was fairly easy to find the Chief of Police's house after that.

Bella's welcome is typical of her, almost as if she'd been expecting me to call. Her surreptitious glance at my sister in the car has me curious about her whole-hearted hatred of Felicia. Curious, that, but I forget all about it as soon as I enter the house. A fading scent lingers in the air and tells me that something terribly inhuman, not Leah, has been here... and not just once. I try not to be too obvious about my distress. The sweetness of the smell boils my blood, but the question in my mind burns even brighter. What is Bella doing alive if a blood-thief has been a regular visitor in her father's home?

* * *

**_Later that evening...  
POV: Stefan_**

* * *

Knowing Bella pays off in spades, I think to myself, perched aloft in a towering tree in the middle of the forest. She'd gotten me the opportunity to sit with the Quileute Elders next week with just one phone call. To celebrate, I've been sitting here trying to decide which form to take for my hunt this evening. In falcon form a few nights ago, I managed to catch snippets of a werewolf pack meeting. The alpha and the other, who should have been alpa, knew of me. As soon as I discover this, I knew Leah was exactly what I thought her to be. The quest to have her now is more than imperative. I know she and the other one, Bella's Jake, are on their way to New Hampshire tonight.

Handy, this.

I shudder into my lynx form, contemplating my next move and this is when I smell _it, _a full whiff of the fading scent in Bella's house. The blood thief is below. I see its confused thoughts about the scent I carry. If it is like the others I've come across in my lifetime, I know it may have some powers that rival mine. I purposefully shut off my thinking mind. I am only animal to the leech now. I watch it warily with my feline night eyes. This bloodsucker is paler than the moon, its dark hair tousled by the night air. The blood thief's eyes disturb me for they are the wrong color, dark and golden, they find the tree I am in. It's tracking movements seem... worried... as though it cares very deeply for the girl who hugged me goodbye and unwittingly transferred her scent onto me.

So mesmerized am I by the sight of my true enemy only a few feet away that I do not realize that it managed to hunt me down. The blood-thief lands softly on the tree's bough. I am startled to find myself nose-to-nose with the golden-eyed leech. My instincts tell me it is unlike the others I've encountered.

This one can think beyond its thirst.

It thinks of Bella and I respond with thoughts of Leah and Bella together. When I form the thought, it strikes a threatening pose as if to go in for the kill. I respond in kind. Catching full sight of me, the blood-thief's eyes widen and our minds collide. The shock of mental penetration releases frustrated, surprised snarls from the both of us. I read things in its mind that make me wonder at its restraint, its _humanity_. It also sends me a warning message that still rings in my head.

_Stay away from Bella! _the leech warns.

_"It is not Bella I want," _my mind calmly replies_, "it is the other."_ I send him a mental picture of Leah.

Before the vampire can recover from the shock of my message and decide to attack me, I turn into my falcon form, taking off into the night, leaving in my wake traces of Bella's unmistakable, human perfume.

_

* * *

**First Night With Jake  
POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

He is sulking and I don't blame him. I don't want him here any more than he wants to be here.

With me.

Alone.

I cast him a sideways glance from my spot on the yoga mat on the floor. I'm close enough to reach out and touch, but far enough not to be in his personal space. He's sitting in the club chair staring over my head at the photo of him and Bella on the mantelpiece.

"What's it like, Leah?"

His voice is raspy from disuse. His question startles me into the reality of how screwed up my life is and I want to break down again. I frown. Tired of tears, especially ones filled with my own of self-pity, I fall into my usual pattern of feigning disinterest.

I shrug.

He glares at me.

_Damn. How can he know me so well?_

I roll my eyes and hold my hand up as a silent signal for him to wait while I compose myself. After a minute, I am ready to face his penetrating stare. He's looking at me curiously.

"There's a helplessness about it that I despise," I admit. "Stefan draws me to him, like a moth to a flame." I quietly contemplate my reply and smile humorlessly at how apt the comparison is. "Yeah, _exactly_ like that. I'm attracted to him. I, in fact, desperately want to be with him. Inside, though, I know something that bright is liable to burn me, being that close to him might even prove to be fatal."

"You think he'll hurt you?" Jake asks gruffly as though willing to be my protector. I move slightly closer, enough to be able to pat his arm in quiet thanks for his care.

"I don't know. It's... um... volatile when I'm near him. I can't think," I say, stretching my legs in front of me, resting my back against the side of the chair Jake's seated in.

"How do you deal with _that_?" He asks, a worried look on his face.

"I don't know if _that's_ normal for an imprint to be able to do, but he does this to me, I think," I shrug for real this time. "The only thing that seems to keep me grounded in myself is focusing on how I feel about E-" I'd been chatting absently, needing to tell someone, but stop suddenly realizing I'm on the cusp of revealing something that could have a greater impact than fulfilling my desire to purge my soul of its deepest secrets.

I clear my throat. "The worst part is when I get near enough, I forget everything that is inherently _me_, because then.... everything about _me_ becomes all about _him_. Does that make sense?"

Jake nods. "I think so. It's like falling in love for the first time. All you see is that person's perfection, not the flaws, not anything else except the fantasy of being with _that_ person forever - and then it turns out the person is nothing like the one you made up in your head."

I cock my head at him. "Trouble in paradise, Beta?"

He goes on as though I hadn't said anything, "_You, _Leah_,_ don't like getting sucked into _that_ vortex, so you're gripping onto someone..." he casts me a knowing look as I glare at him, "..er... _something_ that's real."

We sit in pregnant silence.

"I miss Bella," there is a question in his voice and I know how he wants me to reply. I refuse to rise to the bait.

"There's comfort in knowing someone loves you despite your faults," I pause, examining his face. Rugged, handsome, surly, too. I smile. "Bella loves you despite your flaws and lord knows you have lots and lots." His pout is compounded with a look of exaggerated offense. I can't help but laugh at him. He grabs up a nearby throw pillow and chucks it at my head. Thanks to my great wolf reflexes, I duck just in time.

"I know someone who loves you despite _your_ very _many_ flaws," he says after collapsing back into the chair, not quite so sullen anymore.

I look up at him, grinning. "My mom doesn't count. She's required by law and her biology to love me despite my faults."

"You know that's not who I mean, Leah."

"Oh gawd, Jacob Black! You're not going to make some sort of heartfelt admission about how you've long been in love with me, too! I really don't think I can handle anymore supernatural suitors." My words drip with sarcasm.

"In your wildest fantasies, Clearwater," Jake says with an amused, teasing chuckle.

I smile because, believe me, before Bella finally came to her senses, I certainly had _those_ fantasies about Jake, and if I remember correctly, he's had his share about me, too. I can't seem to meet his eyes and I beat back a blush. If he notices, he gallantly ignores my discomfiture.

"I was talking about Embry, Leah."

I startle for the second time tonight.

"We've never exchanged the word 'love,' Jake." I start to roll up my mat to get out of the room and away from the disturbing conversation. As I near the doorway to the hall and my room, Jake speaks again.

"Leah," he says quietly, "sometimes words aren't enough to express _that_ kind of love."

* * *

_End Chapter Note: Do tell me if I should break this up into separate chapters. Sorry about jumping from person to person. Oh, and I'm changing the rating to M sometime soon._


	25. Letters

**Letters**

**

* * *

**

**Day Two with Jake  
_POV: Jake_**

**_

* * *

_**

I watch Leah stretch backwards, the front two legs of her chair in the air, a crumpled paper in her hand. She shoots the wad of paper toward the recycle bin. The makeshift ball bounces off the rim to land amongst a whole nest of similarly smushed paper projectiles.

She mutters a curse and shakes her head, then turns back to her pen and paper.

"Do you always wear that shirt, Leah?" I ask scratching my back as I pass her, moving towards the kitchen. She makes a noncommittal noise through her nose. I smile and make a loud sniffing noise. "Still stinks to high heaven."

I smirk as she narrows her eyes at my back.

"Sleep well, Beta?" her voice holds an irritated tone.

_What's with the Beta, stuff?_ I don't ask, though, because it sure beats 'jackass.' Truth of it is, I actually had an awful time sleeping in Bella's bed without her, but that's another story for another day. So, I just nod, preparing some coffee. I watch Leah bend over a pile of paper again, deep in concentration. And then I watch her repeat the earlier action.

Sigh...

Crumple...Crumple.

Lean back.

Toss.

Miss.

Start all over again.

_Her aim sucks._

The coffee is done and I pour us both a cup. "Milk and sugar?" I call to her loudly.

"Yeah, thanks," she calls back, preoccupied. "I like a little bit of coffee with my warm milk and sugar."

Funny, I thought her hard-as-nails self would just like it black. But then I'm nice and sweet and I like it black. I chuckle at my morning thoughts. I prepare her coffee and carry both steaming mugs out to the table where Leah is again hard at work.

"Girlie-wolf, what the hell are you doing?" I ask after my third sip and her second toss at the garbage bin since I sat down.

"I'm writing a letter."

"To whom? Oh wait. Let me guess," I cock an eyebrow and watch a pretty blush rise to her cheeks. "Yep, knew it. Embry."

She nods.

I look over to the recycle bin. "So, have you decided to tell him through a letter?"

She rolls her eyeballs at me and replies, "Yeah, right Jake. Like I could even if I wanted to. Besides, what would I say?.. Oh, by the way, Embry, I've imprinted on some green-eyed monster. I've been fighting it since Labor Day, but then, the guy came back from wherever he disappeared to and magically called out to me and I proceeded to dry hump him against a wall. I'm sorry, I couldn't fight it. Fortunately his equally monstrous sister kicked me out on my ass and, well, now I'm really looking forward to seeing you again, at my ex's wedding?!"

I shrug.

"Yeah, that would work pretty well," I reply casually, sipping my coffee. "I'd take out that part about the dry humping, though."

She crumples up the paper and then tosses it. It hits me square on the forehead. Her look is unhappy and annoyed.

"Why don't you just tell him?" I ask, flicking the paper ball back at her.

"You know I can't," she replies, catching the ball up and squeezing it. The frantic look returns to her eyes.

"You could fix that pretty fast, Leah, and you know it," I say challenging her. "Don't you think Embry deserves to know what's going on?"

"We aren't-" she stops to stare at me. "It's not like _that_ between us. There are no strings."

I let out an incredulous huff and deliberately run my eyes over her body, wearing the shirt that Embry wore on the day Bella saw him and Leah kiss. Leah turns even redder than before.

"_Whatever_, Leah, that's a pretty big, green string you're wearing right now," I toss off, finishing my coffee. "If you ask me, it seems like you're in denial about how you feel about Embry."

She scowls at me and looks as if she's ready to scream in frustration.

I sit, nonplussed, waiting for the verbal attack. Instead, she stalks off and for some reason I'm disappointed in her refusal to fight.

As I stand to pick up the mugs, I grab hold of one of the papers on the floor by the bin. I unwrinkle it and read...

_I miss you, Embry._

_I wish we could be together._

_I'm sorry for being such a disaster._

_I think I-_

I recrumple the paper and toss it into the basket. I do the same for all the others laying on the floor. I go and wash the mugs and after I dry my hands, I pull my phone from my back pocket and stare out into the woods.

I make up my mind and I begin to dial... 1... _9...4...1._

**

* * *

An Offer of Assistance  
_POV: Edward  
Setting: Cullen Manse, the day following the bizzare encounter in the forest.

* * *

_**

I worry over every word. I even ask my assistant to look over the letter to make sure it reads OK. She smiles after she scans it. She tells me not to fret, that it's fine and urges me to re-read it only once to make sure it says exactly what I want it to. So, I do...

_Dear Jacob,_

_I guess by now, you know it's me. I was in town for the night, stopping over on my way to Italy, to hunt._

_I hadn't intended for anyone to know. But I was nearby and stumbled onto something I think you should be aware of._

_I thought I caught Bella's scent. It was late. I followed it, thinking she, or you, might be in trouble. _

_I know it's not any of my business, not anymore, but I was worried and old habits die hard._

_Instead of Bella, I found a lynx. I tried to hunt it, but I think it shifted, into something else - a bird. _

_Do you already know something about this? I certainly hope you do._

_And, Jacob, it gets worse, I think it can read minds, as well as project into them. _

_I saw into his. I'm sure it was male._

_It's after Leah, Jake. I thought you should know... You were on its mind, too. Please keep Bella safe._

_Call me if you need to._

_Sincerely, _

_Edward_

_212-505-8267_

Satisfied, I fold the paper and place it in the envelope. It's my last day in Forks, so I track down Angela, who I know has been Bella and Jake's friend despite how weird the three of us must have seemed to her. I hope she'll be OK with giving Jacob this letter for me. I can't leave the country without knowing I've tried to do all that I can to ensure they both stay well.

**

* * *

Day 3 Last Day With Jake  
_POV: Leah_**

* * *

I'm sitting on the porch gazing at the forest, thinking how much I enjoy the quiet here when Jake tumbles out the door and interrupts my musings. I cast an annoyed glance his way, but don't say anything. Not that I'd admit it, but the last two days has me appreciating having a friend like him. He seems to know just when to say stuff, enough to rattle my thinking, but not enough to make me crawl back into my well-worn armour of pissed-offedness. What is most pleasing is that he also seems to know just when to shut up.

"Hey, Leah, want to go out for a run before I have to take off to the airport?"

"As wolves?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, it's been a long time and you know we're far enough away we won't hear the other guys."

"But you'll be inside my head."

"Are you bothered by that?" he seems unperturbed at me being inside his.

I look at him and find that, besides Embry, this is one of the pack brothers I'd trust with my life. So, yes. It would be OK to let him in, a little.

"You sure you're up for it?" I ask with a warning tone. "I'm pretty messed up inside."

He seems a little surprised at my admission.

"Messed up about what?"

I stare open-mouthed at him. What did he think he was _doing_ here? What did he think... _ugh. Stupid wolf._

"My situation, Jake."

"No, I mean, is there are particular person you're messed up about? Your imprint? or Embry? or..."

"Stop saying he's my _imprint_. And, geeze, Jake, how many guys do you think I can handle in my life?" I give him a wry smile. He's still staring. "Fine! Mostly Embry."

"Is that who you're thinking about now?"

"Yeah, so what, Jake?" _Why the hell did it matter?_

"Oh, good, whatever, that's fine. Let's go!"

I catch up to him. He's already halfway into the back woods. I find a bush to change behind and shiver into wolf form. I see Jake's wolf head behind a big boulder and move toward him. He looks at me and motions with his head to follow him. His feelings and thoughts directly transmit into my head. It's been such a long time since I've taken on one of the pack's emotions.

He really misses Bella and... he's really worried about me and ... Embry.

I bark, and send him a mental message to wait a minute.

There's a niggling in my brain. Someone else. I've lost sight of Jake and work to clear my head since I don't know who that someone else is.

Happiness... strong and bright yellow enters my mind.

... and love, pure and sweet.

_Who's there? _my question rings in my head.

_What's up, Buttercup?_

_Embry?!_

The reply thought he sends me fills me up like a warm embrace. There's no one else with us and I know immediately that this was all Jake's doing.

_Hey, how come I can hear you so clearly? _I ask him. The last time I tried a bi-coastal mind-meld it was like watching a black-and-white movie, listening to thoughts through a snowy radio channel.

_I'm still in Florida. We're on the same coast and maybe because I'm totally focused in on you,_ he replies.

_How did you know I'd be..._

_Jake called, said you were not yourself when you left for New Hampshire._

_Oh_. I try not to think thoughts of murdering the meddling wolf who I'd just come to think of as a dear friend.

I hear Embry's chuckle in my head. _Don't be mad at Jake, Leah. He worries. You OK?_

For a flickering moment, I want to let loose all of the frustrated crazy thoughts that are in my head. But I don't want to do it this way. I can't anyway. So, I think about Embry. I've been doing that a lot lately, so it's not difficult to crowd out thoughts of Stefan.

My thoughts of Embry travel across miles to plant in his head. I wonder at that. I can feel his internal smile.

_I miss you too, Buttercup._

I shake off the foreboding I feel for the future and solely focus on the moment with him.

_I can't wait to see you in two weeks, _I reply, my thoughts turning a little to begin our regular exchange. _So, Embry..._

_Leah! Knock it off! _

I can feel his angry growling in my head.

_... have you ..._

_If you keep saying what I know you're going to say, I am going to phase out! _His furious threat is tinged with something else... vulnerability?

I stop a minute, skip the opening line and speed onto the one that riles him up most.

_Well, I guess not, then. You know it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier of you did._

_Dammit, Leah! _

I don't know why I do this. A test, I suppose. It would be easier to lose him this way. So, I wait to feel him shut off his feelings for me. I can feel the anger and annoyance. I can feel the worry and fear that I don't reciprocate his feelings. I feel the twin of my feelings for him - the ones I've been beating back so he doesn't see - the very same one inside of him that throbs ever brighter, reaching out to mine. I'm too cowardly to touch it in either of us. I'm afraid it's going to overtake me and I'll again be left with no choice. I push against it, not ready to take it in. I'm not yet whole and I feel ready to break apart at any moment because of the stress of my growing feelings for him and the visceral pull of the other...

_Leah, why don't you get it? I lo-_

_DON'T SAY IT! DON'T THINK THE WORDS!_ I shout at him.

I feel the hurt slam into him and I yelp out against it.

_Please, Embry, I can't, not yet. _ I send every warm, caring, loving feeling that I have for him into his head to act as a salve. I send him my desperate want for him to be beside me, to feel his arms wrapped around me, to feel his kiss against my lips, to lose myself in the power of him.

I feel him calm.

_OK, then, if you won't let me tell you, let me show you._

And he does, he brings back every memory he has of me. There is no sound, only the strength of his feelings filled with care and tenderness.

The day Sam crushed me with news of his imprinting and his desire to hold me through the storm even then.

An image of me sitting by the bonfire, my eyes flashing, my head resting against Seth.

The image of my naked back in the forest, watching Jake get mended. The feel of my arms around him, riding on his bike.

How he felt when I asked him to stay that night, how he didn't pity me when he held me as I wept.

Shopping for Jake's shoes and the jealousy there. Watching me dive, staring at me with desire, sitting on his t-shirt - _mine now_.

A lingering memory of the day he discovered I smelled of buttercups along with the other wildflowers of the forests. I feel him smile satisfactorily at that. This is something he holds tight to because Sam doesn't share it, this little bit of knowledge about me is something no one but him knows. I return the internal smile.

Then he thinks about his surprise at my reaction to what he thought of imprinting, how he never wants to hurt me like that again.

Then, I feel his annoyance at me for tarting up his shirt with my perfume. His regret over that first rough kiss on Jake's back porch.

_I don't regret that at all,_ my mind sends the thought to him. I feel his heart lift.

He thinks of watching me sleep on my night of drunken debauchery. I watch amazed at how he holds me in my bed, after I'd reached out to him in my dreams. I know he hides parts of this memory and his feelings during it from me. I don't blame him, considering how callous I've been with him so far.

Then he sends me his most treasured memory of the parting kiss that he wishes was our first.

Only then do I realize that werewolves can shed tears.

_I miss you, Embry._

_I miss you, too, Buttercup._

We both phase back at the same time.

I climb into my clothes and build up a small fire of fury against Jake as I do. By the time I'm fully dressed it's close to a blazing inferno. I stride over to the house, my sweater in hand, and throw Jake a hateful look.

"Tell me when you're going to do that, next time," I seethe.

"You were lost," he patiently replies, as he shoves his clothes into his backpack. "Seems like now you've found some stuff out."

The truth of it deflates me. Forgetting my anger, I throw myself into the nearest chair and run my fingers through my hair.

"What am I going to do, Jake?"

"Whatever you decide, Leah," he stops to put a gentle hand on my shoulder, "I'll be there for you, no matter what."

"Will you help me fight this thing with Stefan?" I ask hopefully.

"I promise to do everything I can to find out what you can do to fight it," he says solemnly.

I grab hold of his fingers. "Thank you, Jake."

"Sure, Leah, sure."

**

* * *

Return to Forks  
_POV: Jake_**

_

* * *

_

I drop my hand, still holding the letter from Edward that I discovered next to the T.V. and stare up into the sky. It is lighter out than even a month ago at this time of the evening. The clouds block the moonlight, though slivers of its rays peek out every so often, bathing everything in the front yard in a silvery glow. I gaze absently at the paper in my hand. At least there's nothing in it that indicates Bella might come to harm. Not really. I wrinkle my forehead, deep in thought.

I know the girl, Felicia, is back in New Hampshire. Leah sent an e-mail just this morning. No sign of the guy, though.

My paranoia, I think, stems from the fact that I feel like I am lying to Bella about how much I know about the blond twins. She knows I'm keeping stuff from her though it is a lie of omission. She understands, of course, since I am under Alpha command not to share any of this with anyone outside of the pack. If it means our pack safety, I have to abide by Sam's wishes. Sam isn't even telling Emily everything. I also don't want Bella to be worried about something that could be nothing at all. She's already got it in her head that Leah imprinted on Stefan anyway.

I think about Leah and then I think about me, both of us in this _thing's_ mind. If there is a way Ed can help, how can I not ask for it? I promised Leah I'd do everything in my power to help. But If I do ask, how will I keep it from Bella? I've never kept anything this big from her.

I sigh and ask the inevitable question of myself, the true reason for my hesitation. If I drag Edward into our lives now, will I be able to keep Bella from falling for him all over again?

I sigh, making up my mind.

Then I reach for my phone.

* * *

_Author's note: Many thanks to Kei Kat Jones for the inspiration on how Leah might sarcastically reply to Jake about what she would write to Embry. Kei Kat's post made me laugh. I added a few embellishments to her words. Hopefully what I added didn't detract from the original sarcastic intent._


	26. Hold On

_Author's Note: To keep the T rating, I have marked the more mature content for those of you who would like to continue with the story and skip the steamier stuff. I tend toward the conservative, more figurative language side anyway, but this is the closest I've really gotten to M, since it does include removal of **some** clothing. I just want to be sensitive to the readers who prefer sweet romance. I can certainly keep this a sweet romance if the majority of you want. Though some of you like the naughtier stuff, I think. ;) _

* * *

**The Ex's Wedding**  
_mid-January, back in LaPush  
POV: Embry_

_

* * *

_

~ *~

Hold On

Hold on to what is good,   
Even if it's a handful of earth.   
Hold on to what you believe,   
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.   
Hold on to what you must do,   
Even if it's a long way from here.   
Hold on to your life,   
Even if it's easier to let go.   
Hold on to my hand,   
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.

_**A Pueblo Indian Prayer**_

~ *~

"What's up, Buttercup," I whisper seductively into Leah's ear.

We are standing next to each other in the receiving line at the wedding reception. All day, I couldn't get enough of gazing at her, but she was never near enough to talk to. Not until now. She looks gorgeous tonight in her wine-colored, off the shoulder bridesmaid dress. The skirt is full and long. Elegant is a word to describe her. She shivers at my touch against her elbow. She looks up and smiles, but the smile does not reach her eyes.

I am surprised to see sadness there.

"So, have you imprinted yet, Embry?"

"No, Leah," I forcefully hiss through clenched teeth, squeezing her elbow a little. "Stop that shit! Quit it!"

"Thought not," she says sadly, frowning thoughtfully, extricating herself from my grip. "Too bad, Embry, you'd make my life a whole hell of a lot easier if you did."

_This repeated conversation between us is getting really old._

I shake my head at her as she wanders away from me to greet my mother and hers, escorting them to their tables.

I just got in last night from a Blue-Green Alliance training in Seattle, right on time for the rehearsal dinner.

There hadn't been any alone time with Leah, who'd flown in the night before. Apparently, Leah had been upgraded to Maid of Honor. So, instead of me escorting her down the aisle, as I'd imagined, it would, of course, be Jake, the best man, to do it.

I even less enjoyed hearing that, while I was in Florida, Jake had been alone with Leah for three-days in New Hampshire without Bella around. I'm upset that despite having been contacted during that time, neither Jake nor Leah, bothered to tell me they were together. Alone. No one would tell me _why_ this happened or _what_ happened during the three days. This only served to piss me off even more since the only thing I was told was that the whole thing was due to a stupid mixup of the girls' calendars.

So, yesterday, while Leah was fixing flowers with the other bridesmaids, or whatever, Billy and Quil Sr. had me meet an archaeologist who won a permit to do a dig on Quileute land. And since I was considered by the elders to be the tribe's appointed in-house environmentalist, they wanted me to keep an eye on him while he was doing his work.

Upon shaking his hand, which was nearly as unnaturally warm as mine, I quietly noted that the guy, Steven, or _something_ like that, was slightly bigger than Jake. That alone was pretty surprising. No one was bigger than Jake! He was also extremely good-looking, for a non-native that is. His looks were the heartthrob, face-on-a-magazine kind of handsome. More annoying was that he turned out to be a really nice person, too, so much so that I just had to resent him for it. I mean a guy _has_ to resent perfection even if he admires it.

At the time, I was secretly glad that the girl I want to be mine would be far, far away from the archaeologist while he'd be around LaPush. Not only did he impress me with his knowledge of our customs, and his scientific smarts, I'd bet that if he put his mind to it, he could probably win over any female, willing or not.

So, I spent most of my early hours back in town talking to this new guy and when I was done with that, I had to listen to Sam drone on about his bachelor party, which I missed while in Florida. After Sam, Jake decided to stick to me like velcro, talking about everything BUT Leah and Bella being home.

I'd only been gone the two weeks of Christmas break. _What_ was the big deal? Why did Jake and Sam feel like they needed to babysit me through this wedding? All I just really wanted to do was spend time with Leah before she left for New Hampshire again.

The small exchange I just had with her is too bizarre. It's not like I want her to throw herself into my arms, I mean, that would be nice and all, but...

I smile to myself at the thought of _that_.

But I know her enough to catch the clues that something's bothering her. What's worse is that I hate to think she's upset because Sam and Emily are finally getting married.

_I thought she was past all that._

I turn to Bella, standing beside me now.

"I know Leah's conflicted, Bella. But I really don't care if her heart was broken because of Sam. I thought that was _ancient_ history," I complain loudly, tugging at the tuxedo tie which has suddenly become too tight. "Why can't she just get over it already and realize all that she can have because she's free now?"

I watch Bella look at me in confusion. I see her close her eyes for a moment sighing heavily, reluctant to reveal whatever she's about to say.

"She's _not_ free, Embry."

I'm shocked into silence for a moment before finding my voice.

"What the hell are you talking about, Bella?" I ask, alarmed.

_Didn't she know how Leah felt about me? Or how I felt about Leah?_

"We think she _imprinted_, Embry." Bella looks triumphant, happy for her friend.

_WE? Who is WE?_

"She found her imprint in New Hampshire?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes, but he's here in Washington," she replies slightly confused at my tone, it seems.

_I swear I am going to rip this guy apart if I find out who this so-called imprint is._

"I don't understand."

"They're staying away from each other. Or, at least, _he's_ staying away from _her_. Stefan's got work to do here in Washington. I don't think Leah's happy and she's still not calling it an imprint out loud. But I can tell you clear as day, she's definitely _not_ free."

_Stefan, the name rings a bell. It's not a name you usually come across in LaPush. _

"Stefan. You mean the _archaeologist_?" I nearly shout. I see Sam and Jake whip around to look at Bella and me. I don't miss the look that passes between them. Apparently _someone_ forgot to tell Bella to keep her mouth shut about their big secret.

Bella nods.

_"I think I've been gone too long. Why hasn't anyone said anything to me? _

My stomach in knots, I quickly leave the reception hall in search of Leah. There is some commotion behind me, but I ignore it, shrugging off the hands that grab at me.

I search every part of the lobby and reception room. I wait outside the women's lounge. I ask waiters if they've seen my girl. No sign of her and I begin to worry that she's left to see _him_. The gut wrenching thought of this has me throwing open the doors to the outside where I can get some much needed air.

And that's where I find her, staring out into the lake outside the hotel. She's leaning against a tree, just outside of the ballroom where the reception is still in full swing. I walk up behind her, clearing my throat to let her know how near I am. She turns to face me.

"Why didn't you tell me you imprinted?" my voice is rough, I hear the hurt in my words.

"And exactly how was I going to do that, Embry?" Her retort is belligerent.

"How about in a more sensitive way than how I just had to hear about it from someone else?" I whip back, just as angrily.

She doesn't speak. She cannot meet my eyes. I want to shake her back to her senses. Then, all of the puzzle pieces suddenly fall into place. It finally occurs to me why I am the last to know.

_Alpha Command. _

_Damn that Sam! I am going to hurt that stupid Jake for allowing him to make her keep it a secret from me!_

"So now what? Does this mean you're going to kick me out of your life?"

_It sure explains why her responses to my letters, e-mails and calls have been in steep decline._

She shoots me a look of confusion, of _hurt_ even!

_How dare __**she**__ look hurt!?_ _**I**__ am hurt! And it is unbearable!_

I grab hold of this crushing feeling, use it to load my words meant strike out at her, to release some of my pain at her lie of omission, even knowing she couldn't tell me due to Sam's decree.

"Is that what you want, Leah? No more letters? No more e-mails? No more possibility of-"

I gulp back my grief which is threatening to overtake me.

"-_us_?" I strangle out.

She turns away, her voice catches. I see her shoulders shake as she at last discovers her voice.

"There is no _us,_" she says so softly I'm not sure these are her words.

My heart crumbles inside of me.

I want to howl.

I am in agony.

In a stronger voice she continues, "Aren't you any good at math, Embry? Don't you know that two halves make a whole? This guy, if this is really an _imprint_, could be my other half. He could make me whole. Who knows? He might even offer me love, a true soul mate, insured never to leave me because the ancient legends say so. An unbreakable bond."

I notice she doesn't use his name. I hear the undeniable hope in her voice, the sadness, the confusion.

"You know what? That's bullshit! And I am even _better_ at math than that, Leah!" I growl out fiercely. "I know that if you put two whole things together, _that_ makes a couple. Think about _that, _Leah_._" I glare at her, my body shaking in frustration, my fists clench and re-clench at my sides.

She's since turned back toward me. Her chest is heaving and I can see that her eyes are glistening. She's just as torn as I am.

_Good!_

_I want her to cry for ME for once! _

And then I see her tears start to fall, only to discover that I can't bear to see her in pain.

"Fine then," I spit out, my voice raised. "Go and make yourself _whole_ through this imprint! Do what you have to do. Get your fill of it, of him, of this... stupid fairy tale that you think you're going to live-happily-ever-after in. Remember what I think about imprinting, Leah-" I bite out her name on a sob, my head whipping between her and the glimmer of hotel lights.

The vision of both blur, I know tears are in my eyes and it further embarrasses me.

"-and when you finally come to your senses and realize that you need an equal partner and not a missing puzzle piece, then, you'd better _pray_ that I'll still be here waiting for you."

* * *

**_POV: Leah_**

His words rip into me, "..._you'd better pray that I'll still be here waiting for you_."

I gasp, my breath stolen by the lash of his cruel message. My fingers carve deep grooves into the tree trunk beneath them. The tears that were threatening to fall, finally release in a torrent. My makeup, I know, will run in unbecoming dark streaks down my face. For once I don't give a damn. I can't believe the words Embry hurls so vehemently at me.

_HIS_ letters.

_HIS_ e-mails.

_the promise of HIS _voice on the phone.

_All of these_ keep me sane.

_HE_ keeps me sane.

He _promised_ he'd be beside me when I was ready to move on...

What about his _promise_?

_He promised he wouldn't give up on me. _

_No!_

My mind shrieks. _He can't take these things away from me!_

_No! _

And suddenly, I realize Embry's all I have to keep from drowning in the torment of this unwanted... _thing_. I can't make myself call it an imprint, the sound of the word is the last nail being pounded into my coffin.

My heart threatens to shatter at the possibility of losing Embry. It is this thought of losing my grip on my last conscious choice that has me launching myself at him.

He catches me in a strong embrace, his anger still simmering, but doused a little because of my surprise attack. I grasp onto him like my life depends on it, a life preserver floating on a stormy sea. I push my hands under his tuxedo jacket, roughly moving my fingers across his sculpted abdomen to knead the tense muscles in his back and shoulders. I use my strength to pull him to me. He staggers forward, his weight pushes me against the tree I'd been holding onto through his tirade. His scent, reminding me of the salty ocean air, assaults me.

I am crying as I pull him into a deep, frantic kiss. I feel his tears against my face. I am desperate to show him how much I need him, desperate to tell him how much I need him to stay, to tell him how terrible my need is for him to please... please... keep waiting as I sort out the craziness that is my life.

Even in my near innocence, my desire for Embry to wipe everything else away but him boils down to this wanton desire this... feeling that is so much more than Sam, so much deeper than Stefan. I need to hear him moan his need for me. I need to know, despite my insanity, that he will still _choose_ me. I need him to realize how much I still want him.

My choice.

My want.

Mine.

* * *

_**OK, here it is, scroll down and shut your eyes until the next marker.... for the rest of you, read on you pervs... (haha! just kidding! luvya!)**_

* * *

Untutored in the art of _this_, I push myself against him, moving as seductively as I do in my most lusty dreams that star him. I am at last gifted with his, at first reluctant, but now all too eager, hands roaming my back as searchingly as I do his. I feel his palms cupping my rear, pulling me close against him. Even in his fury and hurt, I know he wants me. I know he still cares for me. His desire for me further inflames mine for him because I know his want for me is pure and true, unclouded by the visceral, uncontrollable haze of imprinting.

He groans, nipping the overheated skin against my neck as I rub myself against his length. His hand moves to my neckline and dips into the bodice of my bridesmaid's gown. The touch of his fingers against my bare skin is electrifying and I long to feel the shock of his touch again. I wiggle against him, pushing against the restraint of the material which mercifully gives way, revealing myself to him, allowing him unencumbered access to this part of me that now, only he has ever touched. His eyes devour me, bare in the moonlight. His intake of breath is followed by his hands caressing, adoring, capturing between his fingers the very physical evidence of my desire for him. I gasp as I feel his mouth on me, tasting. No one has ever touched me this intimately before. Ever. It is completely overwhelming and I wish it never to end.

I feel his hard need against my soft belly, curious in my want I move against him again, and again. His eyes return to gaze at my face.

Hunger.

Need.

And yes, I fervently hope...

_Love._

I am triumphant. I moan his name. His eyes go dark with desire. And finally I'm am rewarded with the sound of my name emerging from his lips. Even with the reality of Stefan looming in the back of my consciousness, this precursor to the ultimate intimate act between man and woman is so different with Embry.

It is not bumbling, timid, and shy as it had been with Sam.

Neither does it feel like being caught in a powerful undertow as it had been with Stefan.

Being with Embry feels like a... homecoming.

And a tear for its beauty falls from my eye.

The fire of this passion between us is fueled by the knowledge that he truly knows me, the real me. It fills me with the truth of the knowledge that he wants me despite how completely fucked up I am. And, yes, though he's never spoken the words, perhaps even _loves me_ for it.

I moan in pleasure at feeling his other hand push up the skirt of my dress. He's gripping my bare upper thigh. I know he feels the heat of my desire. I choke on a sob. All I can think is that I want his hand to move _higher_. I want _him_ to be a part of me.

"Leah," his voice is strangled, caught between passion and pain.

"Don't talk," I mutter, capturing his lips again. "Please don't think, Embry. Please... Please..."

I don't know what I am begging for. I just want _him_. I move my fingers to quickly unbutton his crisp white shirt as I wrap my bared leg around him, bringing my aching heat against his desire. I push my hand through the opening I've created in his starched tuxedo whites. My palm lays flat on his hot, bare skin. I feel the intake of his breath. Beneath my palm I feel the racing of his heart. My own heart begins to beat along with his.

"Love me, Embry," I whimper. "Please, Embry. Help me forget."

My words, and the feel of my other fumbling hand impatiently working against the constraints of his belt buckle and front zipper seem to wake him from his impassioned daze.

His anger returns.

His teeth are bared.

"Is _this_ what you want, Leah, something quick and dirty?"

He roughly pushes himself against me for emphasis, ratcheting up my need for him before cruelly wrenching himself away.

I am trembling as he slips his hand out from under my dress. He forcefully pulls up the gown's bodice to cover me, and grabs up my wrist so my fingertips rake against the skin just under his waistband.

* * *

**OK, you can open your eyes again**.

* * *

He lets out a whimper of his own, a needy little sound.

I catch hold of it and cuddle it away as precious evidence of his want for me, a memory to re-live once more when he will surely be gone from me again.

I think he is done with his fierce scolding, but I am wrong. There is more, and I know there is no escape from the pain he is bound to inflict on me now.

"-At your ex's wedding? In a bridesmaid dress? Against a tree? Really, Leah?!" His disgust for me is palatable. His usually chocolate-brown eyes glint obsidian in the light of the moon. His features twist in a way I would never have imagined on his handsome face. He continues to break my heart with his words.

"How clichè. You disappoint me. Whether you know it or not, _you're worth more than this_..."

He throws down my hand which he'd been gripping painfully. Once rid of my touch, he snarls the rest, "... _and so am I_..._ Remember that, always_."

Finished with me, he turns and stalks away.

Throughly humiliated, I crumple to my knees, not caring in the least that I am muddying this damn $300 dress. With my face in my hands, I sob uncontrollably for a love that I've just only realized I can't live without and I wail against an imprint I can not make myself refuse.

As I continue to weep, I feel the sudden heat of two hands gently holding my wracking shoulders.

The warmth is not human.

I silence myself, drop my hands to my lap, and turn to look up, eager to discover who's standing behind me.

* * *

_Author's note: OK, that was heart wrenching to write. _

_Thank you to JoeBob1379 for reviewing so prolifically and reminding me to be sensitive to reader's needs. Also, thanks for being a fast reader, I was waiting for you to catch up to post this chapter. :)_

_For you Callwater fans, I'm posed to duck from the angry throwing of rotten vegetables. Will it help if I say that I love, love, love this Embry who surprisingly emerged from my twisted mind... also that I would NEVER leave him like this and there's lots more to this story than meets the eye?_

* * *


	27. Unexpected Comfort

_Important note:  
__**In this story, the**__**Quileutes are werewolves**__.  
It's pivotal to the plot that you know this. _

___(I never liked the idea of the Quileutes being revealed as shifters in the Twilight canon.)_

_

* * *

_

**Unexpected Comfort  
_POV: Leah_**

_

* * *

_

"So now you understand the force of an imprint."

I stare at Embry's mother as though she's sprouted another head. She is the last person I expect to see, the very last.

_How can she know about my terrible secret?_

"I know _what_ you are, Leah Clearwater," she continues. "I know because I have been _you_."

I shake my head, she can't possibly know because she can't possibly be a werewolf.

She stares at me and answers aloud the unspoken question relayed by my head shaking. "But I _am_, Leah. I _know_ what you are going through."

She couldn't possibly know the unspeakable sorrow I feel for the moment that just passed between her son and me. The hurt is so new and all consuming, I can't keep it bottled inside. Her look of compassion has me spilling my tragically pathetic story onto her.

"F-f-first I didn't think I c-c-could imprint," I hiccup, my words stuttering, my breath gasping. "T-t-then, I thought what I felt when I s-s-saw _him_ was just a w-w-weird thing, that it was h-h-happening only because he isn't even a w-w-were-"'

I stop, praying to every deity of mankind that she's implying what I think she is, otherwise I'd be letting a huge cat... rather, werewolf... out of the bag. She nods at me to continue. I suck in air with a lung-searing gulp and continue. "If _this_ is imprinting, I d-don't want it. I t-t-thought imprinting would m-m-make everything clear," I wail mournfully. "But it j-j-just makes it w-w-worse!"

She comes to sit beside me, her strong arms, wrapping me up in a motherly hug. After Sam, I would have never allowed this from even my own mother. Never! But the loss of Embry hollows me out and I need her gently offered comfort to find some ground. The sense of relief I feel in her arms saps the energy that had been barely holding me up. In her embrace, I howl my pain into the night and she quietly supports me.

My cries shake me, releasing the worry of the last five months. My tears wash away the fear and stress of the past two weeks. My weeping helps me to put aside the torture of this wretched day, allowing me to draw from her quiet strength.

"True love doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks. True love is not simply a meeting of the eyes, nor is it discovered by laying your gaze on a gorgeous face," she says softly as I quiet. "Don't you think finding a soul mate involves more than that, Leah? True love was never meant to be _that_ easy."

I bow my head, thankful she'd found the exact words to describe the awful tangle of thoughts that have twisted in my brain since I caught sight of Stefan and now, being blindsided, by my growing, intense feelings for Embry.

"In my life, I have known the kind of passion you have for your imprint. Isn't it so much more than the shadow of your first love? Blinding, unreal, really. While it was upsetting for me to walk away from an imprint like that, Leah, I was able to. I say this to give you hope in your hopelessness. Mind you, it was not easy, no, not this choice between blinding passion and everlasting love."

She catches my chin and stares into my soul. "Hold onto hope, Leah. Know I was able to make that choice, and you, my girl, are far stronger than I. And besides, you will be able to draw from another's strength," she pauses, seeming to test her words before speaking them aloud. "For me, there was no one on the other side of the divide holding out his arms and heart. _How I wish there had been._ On the other side there was only a yet-unborn child. Only Embry. And I poured all my love into that boy, my son."

There were so many things I wanted to ask. But her words were so confusing. What did her imprint do when she left? How on earth could she tear away from that, even if it might be just a fraction of the attraction I have for Stefan. If she chose love, then why was she alone now? If she was a werewolf, how could she have a baby?

But my questions would have to wait for another day because there were other things, more important things that lay more heavily on my heart.

"I want Embry to be_ the one_ for me." I whisper to her.

It is the first time I voice my heart's wish aloud. She smiles, pleased, I think.

_I hope. _

But she shakes her head, no. I feel tears of frustration well up in my eyes.

"No, not yet, Leah."

I whip my gaze to stare at her with narrow eyes. I don't understand.

_"Not yet?"_

"I can see into your future, Leah. This is _my _special gift, given to me by my mother, a shifter. My father was one of the last remaining pureblood werewolves, known to the cold ones as the Children of the Moon," she smiles at my shocked expression. She continues on, "You must allow the imprint with your shifter. He will give you what you need - a way to discovering the whole you."

_She wants me to knowingly walk into MORE heartbreak? To likely break her son's heart in the process?_

"You are torn, Leah. You can not be with Embry this way." I hear in her voice the note of a mother protecting her cub.

"Use that intelligent mind, Leah. Embry is still a boy, who believes himself a man. Gods know that he's had to act as one for so long, but he's only _sixteen_, and you have lived little longer. Give him time to become the man he needs to be for you. And you must give yourself time to grow into the woman you are meant to become. In this way, you will be able to fearlessly welcome Embry to your side."

I nod, knowing the frightening truth of her words.

How can I do this? The heartbreak I feel now for Embry, who I haven't even imprinted on, much less professed my love to, is all too raw, all too real. And now his mother says I must embrace a completely alien, imprint-borne love that could likely obliterate what little of my heart that is left? How will I be able to become a whole person, a better person, for her son - for Embry?

"The passion of an imprint is not the kind of love you believe it to be," she continues in a knowing tone. "It is immersive, yes, and it will leave a long and lasting mark. But, Leah, if your heart chooses another, your imprint will come to accept this and will not leave irreparable damage when he goes."

I try to digest her message. It's too much for me to take in. But I keep quiet, still listening to her words.

"Your imprint is unique, Leah, different from that of your brothers. It is as unique as you. What you will share with the shifter will forever color your future relationships. Experiencing this imprint, allowing it, will help you discover the kind of person you're meant to be with, but more importantly, welcoming him into your life will also help you discover the kind of person you were always meant to be."

Chenoa stops to take a cleansing breath as though it pains her to say the next words, "Neither you nor Embry are yet ready for the kind of love you are destined to share."

I move out of her embrace to curl myself into a tight little ball, the wine-colored gown rustles around me. I hug my knees, rest my forehead on the top of them, and close my eyes.

_I really, really want my dad._ _He would have told me what I should do._

I feel Embry's mom pat my shoulder comfortingly.

"Love Stefan well, Leah," she says, "but when the time comes, love my son better."

I feel her move away and I am alone again staring out onto the glimmering lake. I watch a white dove skim its surface as I begin to feel the tears start to fall again.

* * *

**Mother Knows Best  
_POV: Chenoa Call_**

* * *

I find my boy sitting in the darkness out in the backyard. From the kitchen window I take in the sight of him. He's still wearing his tuxedo, his tie undone, the wine colored swath of color hangs around his neck against the white-white of his shirt. His dark hair, in wild disarray around his so familiar, handsome face. There is heartbreak in his expression, so happy only hours ago.

My heart cries out to him.

I quickly go upstairs to change and make my way to sit quietly beside Embry. I say nothing as he hangs his head. I watch the steady drip of silent tears fall onto the back of his large, strong hands. In the moonlight, the drops glimmer against his russet skin before sliding into the dark green grass beneath our feet. I wait for him, offering him my strength simply by staying beside him.

I know him. He does not want me to witness this weakness. He never did as a boy and I know it pains him more as a young man to know I am watching.

"It hurts, mom." His voice is raspy from crying. I wipe the trail of tears from his cheek.

When had my little boy grown so tall? Why couldn't his hurt be healed with a kiss and a band-aid anymore? Why did this have to remind me of his father so long ago?

"Yes, it does, Embry."

He grabs for my hand and I hold on tight. He sobs again and I wrap him in a fierce embrace. He sheds more tears against my shoulder, his entire body wracking against the unrelenting waves of ache. The feel of him hurting has me crying, too.

"She's never going to come back," he is finally able to whisper his worst fear, his breathing hitched.

"She will," I reply, forgetting myself in his grief. I feel, rather than see, his head whip up. His eyes intent on my face.

"Why would you offer me such false hope?" He is angry now, letting me go, striking the garden bench with an open palm. I thank myself for choosing metal, though that might not even hold up against his superhuman strength. "This is complicated, mom, and it's... it's hopeless! Completely and utterly hopeless...How can I love her this much? _I tried not to! _I knew that this might happen and I fell for her anyway!"

He turns sharply away from me, abruptly coming to his feet, pounding his fist against the tall tree that abuts the bench. In response, the branches above us groan and the leaves rustle. The last remaining leaves fall showering us both below with their dry, crunchy sound.

"How could she handle this.... feeling... when Sam...?" He asks haltingly, his voice gruff, yet full of awe. "I had no idea how hard this could be... How can she be so strong?"

"Perhaps, Embry, it is simply because she _is_," I offer.

"You don't know anything about this, mom!"

"Don't you assume I do not know," I say firmly, coming to terms with the fact that tonight he will know the secret that I've kept from him all his life.

"You _don't_ know!" my boy stubbornly bellows, adopting that strong fisted stance of his, reminding me of the rebellious toddler he once was in the throes of a tantrum.

"I _know_, Embry," I insist, somewhat exasperated. "I know about _everything_. I know more than _you_ can _ever_ know." I see I've captured his attention, so I go on. "In another Nation, you were meant to be Alpha. If I'd stayed with the Makah, and the others there phased, just as the Quileute boys here did, you would be leader of the pack for the Makah."

His eyes show confusion, he doesn't know what to think, and I know he's afraid to speak. I know I need to clarify by speaking more clearly.

"Embry, I know you are a werewolf."

Spoken out loud, The words sound ridiculous, but I continue. "Your father would have been alpha had the need to phase been there. He would have undergone the change, just as his father and forefathers did before him. He passed the trait onto you, overriding the more meager ones I gave you. Because of this, your only form is the wolf, allowing you to join the Quileute pack. Leah is a werewolf, too, and her father knew of yours."

The incredulity of this situation would be laughable, if it weren't so painful.

"So what? Are _you_ my father's imprint?" his tone is resigned, bitter. I want to reprimand him for his belligerent tone, completely unbecoming of the young man I've raised.

"No, Embry, your father was _MY_ imprint." I reply, choosing to ignore and forgive him for his show of temper.

"So, _you're_ a werewolf, too?" I recognize the severe strain in his voice and I know he can't take much more.

"No, not entirely, sweetheart. I'm shifter, thanks to my mother's strong genes and her powerful role as medicine woman. My werewolf ancestry is buried beneath since my father was Omega. The form I choose is a white dove. Regardless, shifters have powers that rival those of the blood thieves. This is how I know that Leah will come back to you...

eventually."

_

* * *

Author's Note: Gotta love moms, especially supernatural ones. And to ravenwhitlock33, Chenoa means "white dove"._


	28. The Other Guy

**The Other Guy  
_POV: Embry_**

_

* * *

_

Leah left for school without a goodbye from me.

I couldn't see her again without groveling and I refused to do that to myself.

After all, a man has to retain some sort of dignity.

I haven't spoken to anyone since Sam's wedding and it's been a couple of weeks. We're talking February, and I am still so pissed I can't see straight.

So, instead of hanging out with my pack brothers or hitting the clubs with the guys from work, I torture myself with my new, self-imposed daily task of overseeing the actions of this man, her _imprint_, who not only will take my girl, but also wishes to rape our land.

OK.

So, I'm being melodramatic with the last thought. But I am miserable, and therefore, I'm entitled.

Through slitted eyes I take measure of Stefan, my unofficial rival who will surely claim Leah as his own, just as soon as he gets back out to where she lives - in New Hampshire, worlds away from me.

_I have no idea why he's still here, actually. If I were him... _

W_ell, obviously I am not._

At least he's here with _me_ and not _there_ with _her_.

"Why do you stare at me so?" The rich baritone of his voice slides up my spine. He talks like he's from a different century and I resent him for that, too.

"What are you talking about?" I grind out, barely having spoken to him all this time. I guess he's finally had enough of my silent seething.

"You look at me as if I've stolen your favorite sweet and decided to show you how delicious it is by savoring it in front of you."

_Of course, he would have to choose the perfect metaphor. _The thought slithers through my mind, and I shake the idea that I just watched the whisper of a smirk pass his lips.

"What brings you _here_, Stefan?" I growl.

"As I informed you weeks ago, Embry, my _research_ brings me here," he replies patiently as though teaching a young child their numbers. "The Quileutes have a long history in the old myths and legends. I am trying to trace the geneaology as well as prove that some of the myths true."

"So, you think that digging in the dirt is going to unearth some sort of evidence that something like the loch ness monster exists?" I offer sarcastically.

"No, if I wanted to do that, I'd be in Scotland," he wipes the sweat from his brow. "In the fog... On a boat... on a lake... "

_Funny jokes. Funny jokes. _I roll my eyes at him.

"So what myths and legends are you trying to prove, then?" I ask, now mildly curious.

"I want to find out about the legend of the werewolves, how shifters might be involved, and how your Kahelaha might be related to the Children of the Moon."

I smile internally at the irony of all this. He seems startled as soon as the thought crosses my mind.

"Werewolves and shifters? _That's_ what you're here for?" I paste on a look like I think he's completely bonkers. "So, what do you know of the old legends?"

"Only what I've gathered from your elders and my own research through my other digs."

"Maybe you should go talk to the vampires and get the _other_ side of the story. They live around the bend, you know."

Stefan's eyes narrow in on me.

"You're making fun of me," he accuses mildly as he returns to his shovel, his voice bouncing off the bottom of the hole he's digging.

I want it to be his grave.

"Maybe," I reply cryptically, returning to my task of shooting imaginary daggers into his back with the power of my deadly gaze alone.

_That would be a nice superpower to have right now._ _Maybe I can get some of those vampire friends of Bella's to tear him limb from limb. Too bad they're long gone._

I notice him stop short for a moment, as though he'd heard my musings. I feel the hair on my neck stand up.

_There's something about him that is definitely NOT right. _

Then, just as my brain finishes the thought, he continues digging, bobbing up and down. I scowl at his blond head, and his irritating whistle of a merry tune as he patiently continues his task of shoveling earth. I assume my regular task of wishing him ill, in the death grip of some incurable, exotic fever. My scowl deepens when he removes his shirt to reveal the sight of a muscled torso, of which I'd rather not think about being anywhere near Leah.

I want to kill him, truly kill him.

I really shouldn't stare at the guy. People might think I'm batting for the other team, but he looks... well, I'm sure girls would salivate to be in my position right now, just watching him do his job with masculine grace. Can a guy be graceful? Well, Stefan is, and nauseatingly so. I don't know how long I've been glaring at him and his obnoxious perfection. It must've been for a long time, since the sun's moved to cast long shadows on the ground.

"There's still a few more daylight hours left to this unusually warm Washington day, Embry," Stefan says, his head and shoulders still visible, but he's looking a little weary. His blonde bangs hang in his eyes and there's a streak of dirt across his left cheek. "Why don't you go and enjoy it while I put my things away? Surely you can trust me with the task. I promise not to do anything to rape your land while you're gone."

I stare at him a moment.

_Did he just?.... __Nah_!

He looks at me, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He holds out a hand, silently requesting my assistance, which I reluctantly offer in the form of my hand, hauling him out of his hole. I notice again how our temperatures are nearly the same. I look at him quizzically and he sends me a dashing smile of thanks.

It's movie star perfect.

_Ugh, man, there is no way I'll ever win Leah from him!_

"Thanks, Embry," he says, quickly turning away before I can properly stare at him square in the eye. "It was good of you to stay and to ensure I didn't encroach on places that would upset your elders and the sacred spirits."

_And damn him to hell for being such a nice and conscientious guy to top it all off. _

I think this thought as I leave the dig area.

"I'm already in hell, Embry," he whispers bitterly.

My werewolf hearing catches his half-whisper as I make my way downwind of his side of the clearing. It is so soft, I would not have caught it had it not been for my super sensitive ears and the lilting movement of air near the sides of my head.

I try not to think about his words, clearing my mind as I do when I am a wolf and I don't want anyone to know what I am thinking.

Now that I know he might possibly have a power that rivals only one other supernatural being that I know of, I realize that I have to let go of my petty grudge and talk to Jake and our most annoyingly patronizing pack alpha.

* * *

**On the Porch in New Hampshire  
**_**POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

I'm sitting, wrapped up in a sweater, alone on the porch. Even my own body heat can't seem to keep me warm against this cold, empty feeling inside. The night of Sam's wedding keeps replaying inside my head as I stare numbly out into the New Hampshire winter. The chill is so much more biting in February than the more temperate winters in Washington. I hold a cup of now tepid tea in my hands, and curl my legs up under me on the wicker loveseat.

I hear a door open and turn to greet Bella, only to find myself grimacing at the crazy, blonde bitch who steps out onto the porch. In my peripheral vision, I watch Felicia smoothly fold herself into the wicker rocker nearby... too near. For two weeks I've managed to avoid her. And now I am too tired and melancholy to bother to get up and leave. Besides, I was here first.

I huff out a cloud of hot air against the freezing morning, indicating my unhappiness at her undesired company. There is no sound other than our combined, rhythmic breathing. I say nothing and finally she breaks the silence.

"Leah, I'm sorry about tearing your hair out..."

"Literally," I laugh mirthlessly, unwilling to accept her lame excuse of an apology. She's going to have to do more groveling to get back into my good graces, the wretch. "Oh, and don't forget about bodily throwing me out onto the porch-"

"Oh, I forgot I did that," she says wide-eyed. "I'm so sorry, Leah!"

"... into the snow-" I continue staring out into the woods.

I hear the creak of the rocker as she shifts uncomfortably.

"... onto my back-"

I turned to catch her pained grimace, her hand massaging the faint lines on her forehead.

... and talking to me like I'm an imbecile."

"That one's not right! I never thought you were an imbecile!" Felicia's eyes flash, determined not to allow me to blame her for any more than what actually happened.

"I. Said. You Treated. Me. Like. An. Imbecile." I purposely mimic the way she spoke to me that night, staring at her pointedly.

"Oh, yes..." she says thoughtfully, deflating in her chair. "I can see how you might interpret my words in that way."

I roll my eyes at her and look away, all but indicating that I was done with her and her insincere apologies. This seems to be enough to pull actual regret from her.

"Yes, yes, Leah, for all of that, I am truly sorry," I turn to her, surprised to see her beautiful face crumpled in what I assumed to be uncharacteristic remorse. She catches me watching and then slowly a twinkle returns to her green eyes. "You know I am truly sorry! Besides, you _have_ to forgive me. I was, after all, defending my brother's honor."

I snort in amusement.

OK, _that _was a good one.

We sit in somewhat companionable silence, not yet sure whether to trust one another. And suddenly, because I do like her enough to have considered her a friend before that awful night, and simply because I desperately need someone to talk to, I find I am speaking to her again. After all, she's unnatural, just like me. If there's anyone who'll understand what's going on, it might be her. Besides I can't call Embry's mom, _he_ might be home. And he made it clear he didn't have any intention of speaking to me any time soon.

"What is wrong with me, Felicia?"

"Who's Embry?" she asks, as though I hadn't posed my initial question.

"What?!" I've never spoken about Embry to Felicia. I barely talk about him to Bella. Only Jake knows.

"Who's Embry? Every time you think about Stefan, you seem to... _counteract_ it with a thought of this, Embry."

"You can read my mind, too?!"

She nods.

_This whole time?! _I ask mentally.

She nods again.

_Goddammit! Can my life get any weirder? Wait, don't answer that._

I shake my head and she leans over to pat my hand.

"What is wrong with me, Felicia?" I repeat, whining a little. "The rest of the guys who imprinted, at least so far as I can tell, haven't been able to care for, I mean, be in lov–_ugh!_ with someone else at the same time! Everything else dropped away for Sam. _Everything_ _else_... including _me_."

She stares at me contemplating and a smile snakes its way onto her lips.

"Maybe it's because you're a _girl_," she offers, in that perfectly practical, no nonsense way of hers. "You know, we females know how to multi-task."

I laugh appreciatively.

"Oh, well, _that_ explains it, then."

I laugh again as I meet her amused glance.

"Leah, did you ever stop to think that you have more power in this whole situation than you're allowing yourself to see?"

"What do you mean, Felicia?"

"Have you ever heard that you can sometimes have your cake and eat it, too?"

I let out a bemused breath.

"That sounds more like _your_ motto, Felicia... mine's more like, 'Well, you've made your bed, and now you've got to lie in it.'"

"It's not as dire as that, Leah. Stop being such a drama queen! It's tiresome," she says with a gracefully impatient wave of her hand. "Think about it. You have my handsome brother who'll have you in a heartbeat, _and_ this Embry, who hasn't claimed you as a girlfriend, but wants you, too. Besides that, I assume he's as handsome as Izzy's Jake?

"Stop calling her that.... and anyway... Embry's _better_ than Jake." I flash on an image I have of Embry leaning in to kiss me, which then of course leads to other thoughts of him, like his hard body against mine, his sensuous wandering hands, his hot mouth. I squirm uncomfortably.

"Yeah, thought so," Felicia says, reading my mind and letting out a low whistle. "From where I'm standing, Leah, I have to ask, where's the downside in all this, again?"

* * *

**Lessons on Love  
**_**POV: Embry**_

* * *

"What do you know about the archaeologist?" my voice is a low growl, frightening even to me. I've just stormed into Jake's room, having left Sam who proved himself a worthless fool, spouting on and on about how an imprint is never wrong and imploring me to leave Leah alone so she can get on with her life and find happiness.

"Hell if I will!" I'd shouted at his useless hide as I slammed out of his house. _Stupid Sam! Using this Stefan guy to assuage the guilt he feels for breaking up with Leah the way he did. _

A little voice in my head suggested I'd basically done the same, quite recently in fact. Maybe hurt her even worse. But as I made my way to Jake's place I roared at the tiny, nagging voice to just shut the hell up.

Now, I find myself glaring into the face of my best friend. Jake's expression is impassive at the onslaught of my tumultuous, emotional verbal assault.

I watch him move to the desk in his room. He pulls out a manila file folder that reeks of vamp. My nose scrunches and I recoil from his outstretched offering.

"What is _that_?!" I demand, tossing my head to indicate the papers, not wishing to move any closer.

"Your answers," he replies lightly. "I happen to have discovered a font of information."

I look suspiciously at the package in his hand. The smell coming from it is so cloyingly I want to retch. I can't make myself reach out to grab it.

"Summarize," I command loudly, shaking my head at him as he tries to give me the papers again.

"Well, I'm in communication with Edward."

I turn my face to show Jake my look of abject abhorrence at his shocking confession.

"Why would you do that?" I shout incredulously. "What about you and Bella? Don't you care about that?!"

"Don't you dare judge me, Call," Jake's voice lowers to a dangerous pitch. "I'm doing this for Leah."

It's startling to hear him speak her name and I'm equally unprepared for the rush of primal jealousy that envelops me. I resent that he's helping her while I continue to nurse my wounds. I'm further annoyed that he feels any responsibility toward her. That's not his right. It's not his job.

I groan inwardly.

_What is wrong with me? Jake's my best friend, he knows how I feel about Leah... I think... _

and then the little voice is back again to remind me that in all fairness,_ I was the one who walked out on her. _

Even so...

"I hadn't realized you were such good friends with Leah," my sarcastic hiss is barely audible through my clenched teeth. "So close, in fact, that you'd welcome the enemy back into your life. Is it so he'll take Bella away and you can have Leah all to yourself?" I'm not sure where the ridiculous accusation is coming from, but I do know that I'm proving myself to be every bit the hostile, unreasonable, teenage werewolf that my mother accused me of being just this morning.

Jake steps forward with the foul-smelling stack of paper and uses it to knock me upside the head. I snarl in response. His glare tells me he's barely tethered his temper, so I'd better watch myself.

"Stop being a fucking, selfish idiot, Embry," his growl is slightly more menacing than mine. "I'm trying to be nice to your sorry ass. I'm doing this even though you haven't even bothered to ask me the most important question, yet."

I continue to stare at him silently, seething at his reprimanding tone, upset that he knows something I clearly don't know.

_You're an alpha, too_, reminds another little internal voice, concerned with self-preservation.

"Oh, yeah? What's that, Jake?" I spit out.

"You haven't even asked me how Leah is doing."

I wince, watching him grimace, disgusted with me.

"She's doing about as well as you are," he offers magnanimously. Then he nods as he prepares to deal me another blow. "You also haven't asked me another important question."

I lift an eyebrow. I refuse to respond verbally.

"Like, how long has she been keeping the imprint a secret from you... from all of us."

Already defeated, I turn away from his searching eyes, so unwilling am I to hear the answer of how long I've been played a fool.

"Since Labor Day."

I let out a short, pained cry. I fight against the urge to fall to my knees as the memories of all the things that have happened between Leah and me since then bombard me.

"She's been leading me on," I whisper, unbelievably hurt.

_Again_.

My heart squeezes in my chest.

_Again_.

The burn of her deception spreads like wildfire throughout my body.

_Again_.

"Stop thinking of only yourself, Embry," Jake furiously scolds. His hand shoots out to grab my shoulder and he's shaking me, trying to get me to see reason. "She wasn't playing you. She was trying to fight it. It helped her to have you, knowing you cared for her without some supernatural force to make you feel that way," Jake continues to shake me with every syllable that passes his lips. "After _everything_ she told you about imprinting, her hopes of what it might be, she still tried to fight it, you stupid dog... She still tried... _for you_."

His words suddenly bring me a different picture of all that's happened. He simply reminds me to put myself in Leah's shoes, to see the whole wretched situation from a different point of view - through Leah's eyes. And his reminder brings me the cold, hard realization of how hard this must have been for her. It is enough to cause all the air in my body to leave in a great big whoosh, as if Jake had just sucker punched me in the gut.

I close my eyes and her urgent, teary plea explodes in my head.

_"Please, Embry, Please... Please..." _

I unwillingly remember how I'd discarded her on the grounds of that fancy hotel._ I didn't know!_ But my silent excuses dissolve to nothing, useless against the onslaught of memories flooding my mind. I'd kissed her, touched her, tasted her, and then angrily thrown her away after she'd all but begged me to help her.

_I thought... _

_...I thought..._

_...wrong... apparently._

My fists clench and re-clench at my sides, praying that Jake is mistaken.

"You don't know that what you are saying is true, Jake." I say, a little bit of fight still in my voice, still hoping he didn't _really_ know.

"I _do_ know, Embry," Jake replies, his voice dark and sharp. He moves his face even closer, his brown eyes glint angrily at me for the way I've behaved toward Leah. I'm surprised he doesn't move the hand at my shoulder to grab me up by the throat as he adds, "because Leah told me so."

And for the second time since the night of Sam's wedding, I learn it is not wise for me to make assumptions about what people do or do not know.

I pull myself away from Jake's grasp and collapse, sitting on the ground, my back against the foot of his bed. I don't want him to see me this way, but he's my best friend and ...

_well, I've seen him this way, too._

"I was with her for three days in New Hampshire," he states coldly. His confession is unwanted and is a little too late. My head snaps up to catch his gaze, expecting guilt, but seeing only sorrow and compassion. "It's not like _that_, Embry. I was there as her _friend_. I love her ... like a brother. And I watched her suffer. She _couldn't_ tell you."

I shake my head. Not sure I want to hear what he has to say, knowing he'll tell me anyway.

"Every day she wore that damn green shirt of yours. Every damn day," Jake head shakes, as if in disbelief. "She was tearing herself up inside. I kept trying to get her to tell Sam to lay off the alpha command so she could tell you. Then she admitted to me that she basically begged Sam to give her the command. She said you wouldn't' understand otherwise, that you'd be hurt, that she'd waited too long to tell you... That now, she needed to fight off the imprint on her own... by herself... and then, when she realized the fight wouldn't be easy, she asked me to help her."

I put the heels of my hands against my eyes, willing the tears away.

_Why didn't she ask me for help?!_

I clench my jaw, angry at myself, knowing the answer to my forlorn question. I had, afterall, confirmed every last one of Leah's suspicions that I wouldn't be able to handle the news.

"She tried writing you, Emb–' I hear him say. "All that paper... so much fucking wasted paper... She couldn't do it, though. She didn't know how."

I look at my friend mournfully. Jake moves to sit beside me. It's always easier to talk this way, not having to look at him.

"Embry, stop making a prize winning jackass of yourself. She couldn't help this. But you and I..." I turn to look at Jake who'd stopped mid-sentence to find him staring at the folder still in his hand, "... with the help of one certain stinking vampire... you and I, we can help her."

I pull myself together and nod, though I know my acquiescence lacked conviction.

"I told Leah you were worth fighting for, Embry," he says beside me. With a threatening growl, he adds, "You better not prove me wrong."


	29. Of Curses and Legends

**Of Curses and Legends  
_POV: Embry_**

_

* * *

_

Jake's warning pounds in my head. I've been wallowing in self-pity for two weeks. He's right. I'm not proving myself much of a man here. And now he's offering me an opportunity to show myself worthy of Leah.

I sigh and look pointedly at the sheaf of papers he's taken out of the manila envelope.

"So, what did the leech find out?" I ask warily.

"First, let me tell you what Edward told me."

And so Jake starts to tell me how the bloodsucker happened to be hunting in the woods during a stop over to Europe at the same time the terrible twins paid a visit to Bella. It also happened to be on the same night Jake was on a jet plane with Leah bound for New Hampshire.

_

* * *

**POV: Leah**

* * *

_

We're still on the porch and I'm mulling over Felicia's message of:_ So, why not both?_

It hurts my head to think about such free-wheeling. And she's grinning at me like a maniac. I swear, there's something not right about this girl if she wants me to two-time Stefan with Embry.

"So, yeah, anyway," I say with some trepidation. "That other night, what was _that_ all about anyway?"

I turn to look at her and watch as a pained expression mar her otherwise beautifully angelic face.

"It's a really, really long story, Leah," Felicia says wearily.

"So, just start at the beginning," I say casually. "It seems like I don't have anything but time."

_

* * *

**POV: Embry**

* * *

_

"... and so, when I got back, I found this letter from Edward," Jake says as I watch him dig into the sickeningly sweet pile to pull out a fancy cream colored envelope and hand it to me. I wave it away, holding my breath. I still can't take it from him. The smell of it is absolutely revolting.

"Just tell me what it says," I say quietly, pushing Jake's hand away again.

"He thinks that Stefan is a shifter, his chosen form is a lynx and some sort of predatory bird. Ed says he's 'after' Leah and that I was on his mind, too," Jake gets quiet, seeming to hesitate. He looks at me doubtfully, chewing on his lip. I know he's going to affirm my suspicions about Stefan - the initial reason I'd decided to visit Jake and start talking to him again.

"It gets worse Embry. Leah's imprint can read minds and project thoughts into them, too."

"Stop calling him that," I snip, irritatingly. "I figured he could do _that, _not the projecting thoughts part... but... yeah, anyway, whatever... I think I'm sort of glad he can. Now he knows I can't stand the sight of him. If he found that out by invading my thoughts, it serves him right. Besides, I barely had to exert any effort at showing him my hatred."

Jake stares at me open-mouthed, surprised by my reply. I guess he thought I was going to lose it over that last bit of information.

"Why do you look so stunned, Jake? I watched you torture that vampire using only your thoughts alone. It was... well... disturbing… at the time. I also know a little about undergoing mental torture, myself. After all, Leah sure can dole it out," I add, smiling woefully at him. "Now, Jake, don't you think I'm looking forward to causing Steffie a little mental torture myself? When I think about it, it's kind of a cool power that I can use against him."

Jake gives me a rueful chuckle and shakes his head. I shrug, unbothered.

"Yeah, well, there's more," he says, ruffling the sheets of paper in his hand. "You ready?"

I nod. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Edward thinks we werewolves in LaPush are distant relatives to werewolves known to all leeches as Children of the Moon. The bloodsuckers believe they wiped all of our ancestors out in some vamp/werewolf war a long time ago, but - and this is me talking - I'm sure some of the werewolves escaped the genocide and found their way to the West coast or to Asia. Though the original werewolves could bite humans to create more werewolves, they could also reproduce the normal way. There were females in the pack..."

Jake stares at me. And I don't need telepathy to know that one name enters both of our heads at precisely the same time.

_Leah_

_

* * *

**POV: Leah**

* * *

_

"Stefan fell in love with a woman he shouldn't have been with," Felicia says in a lilting voices, as though reading a fairytale. "She was a close friend to both werewolves and shifters, with a stronger connection to those who were known by the blood thirsty as the Children of the Moon. Because of this connection, she met Stefan who was childhood friends with one of the werewolf packs. Where we come from, it was forbidden to be intimate with mere humans. We were friendly with them, but mating with them was prohibited."

She stares at me, daring me to call her a bigot. I don't.

_Different tim__e_, is what I think back at her.

She nods and continues.

"This woman, her name was Elisheva, told us she was a sorceress, but she never could conjure anything or do anything remotely magical in my presence. So, I didn't believe her to be anything but a human infatuated with my brother. It wasn't until Stefan and I found ourselves cursed that I came to see just how powerful a witch she really was."

Listening to Felicia's story I suddenly suspect that a great deal of what I'd thought only existed in the realm of fantasy is out there and is _real_. I know I'm getting a bit hysterical because I have an irresistible urge to clap my hands and shout at the top of my lungs, "I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"

She shoots me a forlorn look and I wonder if she's listening to my insane musings in her lovely head. She doesn't indicate if this is true or not, only continues her storytelling in a mournful voice.

"This whole thing is my fault." She hides her face in her hands and for the second time today it occurs to me that this woman is unused to admitting and accepting that she can sometimes be terribly wrong. "I should have looked away, Leah! Stefan was happy, the happiest I'd ever seen him, in fact, but I felt Elisheva was unworthy of my brother. He was destined to be our leader, meant to be mated for life with another shifter, or even better, with one of the Children of the Moon. So, on the night he and Elisheva planned to run off together, I put him under a sleeping spell and bound him to his bed with an invisible force while I made sure she'd gone away, heartbroken."

She stops to stare at me.

"You know," she says in a whisper. "You remind me of her... you look a lot like her. It's unnerving."

At this point in her story, my mind is reeling. I can't believe I'm having a conversation, albeit one-sided, about witches and shifters, and curses and... _What the hell were Felicia and Stefan anyway?_

Hearing my unspoken question, Felicia answers me.

I am a shifter. I can take on any animal form and so can Stefan. But he prefers two forms, a lynx and a falcon. We're Norse shifters, different from werewolves in not only form but in our powers, like telepathy, strength, speed and ... others. You are a werewolf. Stefan suspects that you are distantly related to the Children of the Moon, which is why, he is in LaPush. He'd been tracking an ancient line of werewolves that now has him on your ancestral land. This is why you both find yourself in this thrall.

"Thrall?" I ask out loud.

"Judging from your previous thoughts, you have the same. You call it _imprint_," Felicia replies.

I take a sip of my now cold tea to hide my emotions. Without comment and only a wave of my hand, I prompt her to go on.

"Elisheva did not know of my treachery… And well, you've heard the saying, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Well, truer words have never been spoken when it came to Elisheva..."

_

* * *

**POV: Embry**

* * *

_

"Edward said that for the females, as part of preparation for mating and having children, the female werewolves go through seven years of being part of the pack. After that, they become more human, unable to shift, and are ready to reproduce. The seven years also allows the females of the pack to help prepare their young for the life of a werewolf, since she'd been one herself."

I mentally do the math in my head. "So, Leah is only starting her second year of ..."

"..werewolf puberty..." Jake helpfully supplies with an amused chuckle.

"Well, that would explain why she thinks she's menopausal," I say absently, drawing a bark of laughter from Jake. "She hasn't surpassed werewolf child-bearing age...she's regressed into werewolf tweener-dom and hasn't even... uh... become a were-woman yet."

"I think I'm going to let you have the honor of telling her this," Jake adds, thoughtfully. "I'd rather not have her bite my head off... literally."

I roll my eyes at him. _Coward._

"And as for Stefan," Jake continues. "Edward seems fearful of him, which freaks me out because that sharp tooth isn't afraid of _anything_. He tells me Stefan must have Nordic blood that..." Jake rifles through his papers to find the notes. "'…his kind of shifters can take any shape...They're extremely powerful.. and that their powers, whatever ones they might possess, rival vampiric ones, especially in the women.'"

"Scary," I say flabbergasted at the amount of knowledge the leech has collected.

_Weird how they're working together. What the hell happened between him and Jake to allow for this kind of cooperation between them to be happening right now? _I wonder to myself._ Hell, if I were Jake, I would laugh in the leech's face, proclaiming myself the better man for winning the girl. _

"Yeah, that Felicia is one frightening creature," Jake says, seeming to recall something that I am not privy to. "Judging from what I've been told, that girl sure doesn't want Leah anywhere near her brother."

_Hmmm, _I think with a little smile. _Seems as though I'm going to really like this Felicia._

_

* * *

**POV: Leah**

* * *

_

"So she cursed him - us- forever," Felicia recounts quietly. "She left him impotent among humans and shifters, unable to father children, one of the primary duties and the greatest of all blessings given to the leader of the clan. But to make matters worse, he was to walk the earth attracted to the most deceitful and conniving of all human women for eternity."

My eyes widen. Impotence, doesn't that mean...

Felicia lifts her index finger and then allows it to droop.

Wide-eyed, I cover my open-mouth. Poor Stefan, indeed!

"How long?" I ask, my voice shaky since I hadn't had to use it during the duration of her story.

"Too long, really. It's been so long we've lost count. At least through the Middle Ages," She sighs. "As you might imagine, he was frustrated through the first hundred."

My eyes widen even more.

"Stefan hasn't had sex since the 1400s?!" I'm thankful for once that I'd paid attention in my art history classes. "I mean, that's the _end_ of the Middle Ages. The 5th Century is when the Middle Ages began!"

My mind crawls back to the night I plastered myself all over him and I seem to recall feeling his... uhm...excitement. Felicia can't be right.

She catches my suspicious gaze.

"There are other ways. Maybe not as satisfying for Stefan, but there are other ways to pleasure a woman. But, I haven't finished my story yet," she explains. "The curse gives these women the power to enthrall him, thrall means to enslave."

I nod. I can see how that might be the same for imprinting. No choice. Even if its wrapped in a pretty or gorgeously handsome package, you don't get to choose the bond.

"When in their thrall, Stefan must fulfill the woman's every desire… _while she is alive_. He has the power to do just about everything, except of course, the obvious. He's unable to express his love or passion for them with his body. We've discovered that the sort of women destined to enthrall him get quite angry when their man can't perform. And with Elisheva's curse, the more evil the woman, the more powerful the enthrallment. These were the worst because they kept him in _unna,_ or the most superficial kind of love, of which traps not only his body and mind, but also his heart."

Felicia's face fills with such sorrow over the memories she has of these unfortunate times for her brother.

"Once Elisheva realized I was the one who tricked them both, Stefan would no longer have her. He'd been so angry that she'd thought so little of him and he refused to accept her apology. So, to punish me and him, she made me my brother's keeper," Felicia explains bitterly. "The only way to break these magical enthrallments is through the death of the woman who holds him in a thrall. And this is where I come in," she hesitates, unable to meet my gaze. "I've killed twice, Leah. For Stefan."

_I've killed, too,_ I say in my mind._ They were of the wild, blood-thirsty undead variety, but I've killed, too, and I know what that's like._

There are tears in her eyes for my quiet acceptance.

I have no desire to judge Felicia about what she's done to keep her brother from bondage.

"It ripped my soul apart when I killed them, Leah," she says suddenly, breaking into heart rendering sobs. "But I had to! The things that they had Stefan do! The pitiful look in his eyes. I couldn't leave him at their mercy! It wasn't his fault. He should not be the one who has to pay for my sins!"

It is my turn to place a hand on hers. "It's Ok. You don't have to explain, Felicia. It's OK."

"I didn't want to kill you, Leah. That's why I just threw you out. I'm so sorry I hurt you and humiliated you. But just know that I did those things because I didn't want to kill you, too."

"Well, lucky me," I say with a wry smile. "It's a good thing, too, because I can't imagine doing anything to warrant you taking my life in cold blood. I'm not evil, felicia. Hell, I don't even want the imprint with your brother… But the thing is… well, you probably don't want to hear it, since Stefan's your brother and everything, but I seem to have helped him with his millennium-old problem."

She looks at me quizzically. I meet her stare, present a droopy index finger then purposefully raise it to point it to the sky. It is her turn to look at me with wide-eyed wonder.

"No wonder he was so furious that I'd come home," she said with a giggle, her tears forgotten. She gets up and swiftly grabs me up in an unexpected hug. "Do you know what this means, Leah?! It means YOU'RE THE ONE! You're the one we've been searching for! You're the one who can save us!"

"What?! Just because I helped Stefan get his mojo back?! "

"No, silly! You're going to have Stefan's child!" She looks absolutely ecstatic, while I imagine I must look shell-shocked. "You're going to help Stefan break Elisheva's spell, help Stefan have a baby, and finally make me an aunt!"

_

* * *

**POV: Embry**

* * *

_

"… and this witch jinxes the male werewolf, causing him to be enslaved to crazy, mad women who use him mercilessly… and, now, Edward thinks that this old legend, unearthed in Greenland, has something to do with the terrible two-some. Apparently, according to legend, the only way to break the sorceress's curse is for the male shifter, I guess Stefan, to imprint on, mate with, and have a baby with a female werewolf - a Child of the Moon."

I'm still trying to put two and two together. And suddenly I realize what Jake is trying to tell me in his convoluted way.

_If this legend is actually truth…_

_If the LaPush werewolves are truly descendants of the Children of the Moon…_

… _and if Leah did indeed imprint on Stefan… _

_then…_

_Oh! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!_

"… so that means… if what Ed is thinking is right..." Jake is still talking, I can barely hear him over my internal shouting. "… looks like Leah's got no real choice in the matter, Embry. She's got to see this imprint through if she's going to rid herself of the archaeologist."

"Wait! This doesn't make any sort of sense, Jake. Why would the witch give him that one out? Unless she thought..." my mind drifts off, trying to think of anything that would make sense in a very pissed-off, magical female's mind.

"...unless she thought she could somehow come back as a female werewolf," Jake supplies, "... you know... be reincarnated as a female Child of the Moon."

_This is crazy!_

_Can Leah be this witch incarnated? Shit! This can not be happening to Leah. This is pure insanity._

In my frustration, I finally grab at the saccharine smelling papers, neatly stacked in the file folder. I quickly sift through them, throwing each away from me in my frenzied search for a word that says there is another option, that there is an alternative to her and Stefan being together. I read through the bloodsucker's letters to Jake. I take note of the vampire's annoyingly neat handwriting, pick up another sheet, and another, and another, and find myself staring at the last piece. It is torn at the bottom and appears to be written with a feminine hand. They are handwritten copies of findings from Bibliothèque Nationale de France.

_[sic] The power of the __**imprint**__, or __**thrall**__, is irresistible. For such a bonding leaves no question of the physical and genetic perfection that would result from such a pairing. Among werewolves, the imprint is unique, a monogamous pairing. Among mere shifters, however, the imprint is of common occurrence. As in the animal world, the female shifter is able to choose her mate from among many males vying for her attention. Her final selection is often only from those she alone has deemed genetically acceptable. _

_The males of the species have but one weapon, only their unique mating call. If heard by the female, it brings them to the front lines of her attention. The female, upon hearing the call possesses the power to summon the male to her side or reject him outright. _

_Should such an imprint occur between shifter and werewolf species, however, the male of either species does retain the ability to . . . _

"To... what, Jake!? To… what?!" I hear the frantic note in my voice.

"I don't know, Embry. I'm sorry. I got the paper that way, and Edward says he did too, but I seriously doubt that," he adds, his tone clouded with suspicion. "I'm harassing the bloodsucker about it now. But that was the latest thing I'd received from him. I'm still waiting for more."

_

* * *

**POV: Leah**

* * *

_

I reel at Felicia's words and back out of her embrace.

"I can't have a baby with Stefan, Felicia. What are you talking about? Are you serious?!"

She looks like I struck her with my fist rather than refused her with my words.

"What do you mean, Leah?" Her question seems sincerely confused. "If you have a baby with Stefan, he'd be free of the curse. That's the way to break it. If he… well… like you said, found his mojo with _**you**_, that means YOU'RE the ONE! You could free him, you could free us both!"

The ache that had been niggling at the back of my brain, comes at me full-force, coursing through to the front of my head. I am utterly speechless. Then for whatever insane reason, I find myself thinking about the fact that I haven't menstruated since I phased, nearly two years ago. I think about how I felt kissing Embry and how I felt when I was with him the night of Sam's wedding.

Bittersweet.

I think about my constant grief that I am simply barren.

She reads my mind. I know she's doing it. And then to my utter amazement, Felicia laughs at me. "Don't worry, that's normal," she says, comfortingly. "You're still young. It's OK, you'll be able to have children."

A part of my heart unclenches and a phantom breath that I didn't know I held deep within me releases.

I'm normal. I'm normal!

Then, hearing my internal rejoicing, Felicia takes the opportunity to sends me visions of her watching Stefan's unerring gaze on me that very first day. Shockingly, she gives me his carbon-copy thoughts and emotions when we were finally were alone together that fateful night.

Hunger.

Desire.

Want.

The power of our pairing slams through me and I am at once bombarded with all of the feelings I had while in Stefan's arms.

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek as I re-experience it.

Uncontrolled.

Untamed.

Frantic.

Primal.

Ultimate femininity meeting complete masculinity.

It is beautiful, absolutely frightening.

"… And _exciting_, Leah," Felicia adds, a knowing smile on her face.

I don't even realize I'm nodding until I catch myself doing it.

"Stefan was not an innocent before the curse, Leah," Felicia says with a sly upturn of her lips. "He was touted among the clan vixens as being a highly skilled lover. The sort of man to experience the act of love with even if such a pairing wasn't destined to last a lifetime."

I accidentally flash on my unease at my own sexual inexperience. Felicia looks up at me, surprised. Her smile twitches.

"Imagine what it would be like to have a lover like Stefan _before_ you settle down with your Embry. Imagine how much you could learn. Would that be such a terrible thing?"

* * *

_**Author's Note**: Sorry about the delay in update. My baby bro got married and real life got in the way. This was an important set up chapter. I know there wasn't any romance or real interaction between Leah and Embry/Stefan. Next chapter, I promise!_


	30. Valentines

**Valentines  
_POV: Stefan_**

* * *

"Felicia, how is Leah?"

"You know I spoke to her. Of course you do," my sister sounds self-amused over her short-term memory loss about our connection. "Her heart is mending, I think, Stefan. She's not doing the silent brooding, morose thing on the porch all the time anymore. She's wearing different clothes again, not as hot as she used to dress... but, well, her Embry has not yet contacted her."

"I wonder how soon he will."

"She's still unhappy. She still cares for him, deeply. She doesn't laugh. She doesn't even smile, not like before. He did quite a number on her when she went home last time, I think," she says softly, a tone so rare in my sister. "Is Embry going to prove a problem, Stefan?"

"No, Felicia, I'm coming around to thinking that he'll likely be part of the solution."

I bid farewell to her, promising that I will be seeing her in a few weeks. The dig is almost done and I've already discovered more than I wish to know. I now know that the breaking of the spell will require that I be with Leah ... in the biblical sense. Not only this, but also that she must have my child, and only then... only then… will I be able to escape this existence. The whole ordeal will not be for me to bear alone. It will cause Felicia enormous pain and, should she choose this, Leah will not be left entirely unharmed.

Damn, Elisheva. _Damn_ _her_. Damn that witch for not believing in my love for her.

I'd been purposely avoiding Leah since Felicia called telling me that she'd been silently moping around the triplex. I really don't want to put an innocent through this. I am also afraid. Very very afraid that she will decide against helping me. I push away the frustration of this, finding again my inner calm.

Since it is a cross-imprint, I know either Leah or I can still decide against this pairing. Of this I am sure she is quite unaware. I am not yet sure, however, if I'd like to enlighten her that she has such an option. She is the sole key to my salvation and after so long, I do not wish to release her so easily. But she is a woman, who cares and likely loves another.

Embry.

Perhaps, as I told my sister, if I can think this through properly, maybe it can be through him that I will be able to finally find my salvation.

And with that lingering thought, I recall my promise to my sister and begin planning my next trip out to New Hampshire.

* * *

**_POV: Embry_**

* * *

I'm sitting on a log watching his blond head as he carefully dusts off something that looks like a wooden box. He sets it aside patiently, not opening it, but moving, instead, to pick up another artifact and clean it. It's unnerving to watch how exacting his movements are, almost loving - certainly reverent.

"Embry, did you know your name means smoldering fire?" Stefan asks the question casually, his head still bowed over whatever it was that he held in his hand.

"What?" I bark out, surprised at his statement. "Did you find that in one of my ancestor's artifacts that you pulled out of the ground?"

I hear him let out a little laugh, his eyes still focus downward, as he carefully removes dirt from a crevice in yet another wooden box.

"No. I looked it up on the internet," he admits easily.

I stare at him open-mouthed. "You're cyber-stalking me?"

"What?! No!" His gaze whips up to meet mine. Then he smiles and he's even more good-looking than before. It makes me want to vomit.

"You Googled me."

Stefan gives me a look that says, _So? It's a free country. _His voiced explanation, though, is enigmatic.

"Perhaps, Embry, you should Google _yourself_. Besides, the reason I was wondering about your name is because it's unusual. I'm interested in etymology. I was simply curious," he says with a shrug, staring at me openly now. The look he sends me is just like the one he sports when he finds something lodged in the dark earth that is of any real consequence.

"What?!" I bark at him, unnerved at his examination of me.

"It fits," he says quietly, returning his attention to the item in his hand. "The part about the smoldering fire."

I watch his graceful movements.

Not human.

Not wolf.

"What the hell are _you_?" I ask without warning.

I feel my heart beat in my chest.

Once.

Twice.

"What the hell are _you_?" he challenges, green eyes flashing.

"I asked you first," I respond, lifting my chin and emptying my head.

I know it's childish.

"Clever, how you do that," Stefan says absently, returning to his work, brushing me off as though I'm a common housefly. "You already know what I am, Embry. Why do you bother asking?"

"The same reason you asked me," I reply, belligerently.

"I am a shifter," Stefan unnecessarily answers, "and you, Embry, are a werewolf."

I nod.

"And," he continues, "it appears as though we both have an interest in the same female."

My teeth clench.

"She's not _just_ any female," I seethe. "_Her_ name is _Leah_. I've known her most of my life, and she is mine."

I watch him carefully place the artifact down and hear his rueful chuckle.

"Unfortunately, Embry, I don't think either one of us has much of a claim on her," he says, meeting my eye from across the gigantic hole he'd dug in the ground. "But I'll tell you this. What the hell I am is _your_ competition. I'm not planning on backing down, Embry. Which means, she's the one who'll have to eventually decide between us."

* * *

**Valentine's Day  
**_**POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

I turn away from my computer with a satisfied smile.

Yes, I have officially joined the ranks of on-line stalkers everywhere just for the simple luxury of being able to secretly spy on my ex-never-was-my-boyfriend-so-I-can't-really-call-him-my-official-ex-boyfriend former friend.

_Is there such a thing? _

Anyway, that's what Embry _is_.

Depressing, really.

Especially since I've worn a teeny hole in his goGreen shirt at the shoulder from too much wear.

Pathetic.

Still, I'm smiling because he hasn't gotten any new girls hating on him, or any men threatening to maim him for life. The only current posting, and that was just a little while ago, is from Aylen, wishing him a Happy Valentine's, telling him that she doesn't harbor any bad feelings anymore because she found someone new.

_Yippee, for her!_

All of which translates to Embry not dating, clubbing, or seeing anybody since… well... since he started liking the scent of buttercups … since for a long time.

_Good._

Hopefully he's suffering, too.

My smile widens.

_Good._

Bella knocks on my bedroom door. I go to greet her and she hands me a large red envelope.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Leah!" Bella says, smiling. It's a little creepy that she's not dark and twisted anymore, I mean, at least be dark enough to HATE V-Day.

_And here, all along, I thought she was my friend!_

"There's nothing happy about this shitty day," I reply bitchily, not bothering to look at the envelope in my hand.

"That's not from me," she says cheerily, gesturing at my palm.

Slowly, I bow my head, lifting the red envelope to my face. My eyes go round in shock and I look down to stare at the return address.

_Embry. . . Embry!!!_

I try to contain my excitement while Bella is in the room. She hands me two smaller envelope and waltzes out humming a little tune as she says over her shoulder, "And neither are those. You might want to open the little ones first!"

I close my door. I sit at the edge of my bed, place the other two envelopes on my duvet.

My heart is thrumming, and for once my smile finally touches my eyes.

_He remembered!_

Carefully, I slide my finger under the big red flap, opening the envelope to reveal familiar stationary.

I pull out the paper and a shower of pressed yellow petals fall out onto my lap.

I laugh a little as I scoop them up, back into the envelope, the note flapping in my hand.

I want to relish this. To enjoy the feeling of this. Even before reading his words, my heart is warmed, no longer frozen over.

With extra care, I unfold the paper to finally read his words.

_Leah,_

_I shouldn't have_

_walked away._

_~*~_

_I didn't realize…_

_how dark the night is _

_without you._

_~*~_

_Come back_

_to me._

_~*~_

_Please_

_come back_

_and paint the stars._

_~*~_

_Buttercup, _

_I miss you._

_I forgive you._

_Always,_

_Embry_

I look up from the note, only to stare unseeing out the window. I feel my jaw clench and hear the paper in my hand crumple as my fingers curl it up into a tight little ball.

_He forgives me?!_

I hurl my new paper projectile at the wall, but it does not make any sort of satisfying dent or sound. So, I grab at something from my bedside table and throw it against the door.

_HE forgives ME?!_

There.

A satisfying crack and shatter.

"Leah?" I hear Bella call. "Are you alright?"

I don't bother to answer.

Because, I'm not.

NO.

I'm definitely NOT alright.

_All of his beautiful words, all wiped away with his last line. _

Why should HE forgive ME?!

I pick up something else. It is small, smooth, and weighty. I clench it and prepare my throwing arm as angry thoughts race through my head.

_I _

_DIDN'T_

_DO_

_ANYTHING _

_WRONG! _

I won't cry. I won't! I'm done crying _for_ him… done crying _over_ him.

Done!

I hear my cellphone ring and it jolts me back. I find it's already in my palm and I don't bother to look before answering.

_Stupid thing to do._

"Hello?" I croak.

"What's Up, Buttercup?"

_Embry._

I want to scream. I want to scream so loud it ruptures his eardrums. I feel the fury threaten to wash over me. But before I'm engulfed in the violent tsunami of emotion, I suddenly feel something quite the opposite inside. It comes over me, this soft, soothing shower of calm. It is similar to that time the Cullen vampire with the psychic power over emotions calmed me down. I feel anesthetized from my anger. And just as I am about to fight the foreign feeling and open my mouth to scream, I feel the calmness pour into me, like a steady waterfall.

Despite knowing that somehow I am being magically manipulated, I am both pleased and shocked to hear my voice, steady and unruffled.

"Hi, Embry."

"Hey, Leah. Happy Valentine's Day."

I feel the tide of anger begin to rise again, but another pacifying wave beats it back within me.

"So have you imprinted yet?" I ask, knowing that at least _this_ will annoy him.

I hear the bitter silence between us before he fills it with words that are off-script.

"No, Leah…" Embry whispers softly, "but _you_ have."

It is my turn to be silent.

"Yes," I finally agree. "I think I have.'

"It sure is making my life a hell of a lot harder," he adds with a humorless chuckle. "But, it's ok, because now I know. I can help you. We can fight it together."

I say nothing. His pledge to help comes too late and is now undesired.

His promise to be beside me through it all, rings hollow.

After all, he'd made and broken these promises before.

"Jake and I have been digging up information about Stefan," he explains, excited. "Get it? 'digging up'?"

I don't find it very funny, so, I don't laugh.

"Anyway," he continues, awkwardly. "We figured out he's a shifter."

"I know that," I say.

"Jake thinks that there's a curse on him and his sister."

"I know that," I reply.

"Do you know the role you're supposed to play?" his voice comes louder, more aggravated.

"Yes, I know," I say again.

"Is there anything you don't know? he asks, annoyed. I can hear him let out an exasperated breath.

"Yes," I say. "What I don't know, Embry, is why you called. It's been weeks. WEEKS! And you decide to call _today_?"

"I thought you'd want a card and a call today, Leah."

"Why, Embry, how fucking sweet of you," comes my sarcastic reply which seems to go right over his pea-sized head.

"I don't blame _you_ anymore, Leah. I know a lot about this situation now. I can help you. I can save you. We can fight it together."

I fight for placidity. I really do. I reach back into my body and pull at that previous feeling of steady calmness that entered me right before I thought I'd have an aneurism.

I find it, grasp it, wrap it tightly around me, and I let out a steadying breath before replying.

"No."

"What?!" he asks, angry now.

"Embry, I said NO," my voice, too, is rising with my temper. "I don't need you to be my hero. So, no."

"Leah, didn't you get my card? I told you. I forgive you."

"Embry," I say his name as my anger drains to welcome in utter disappointment. "I never asked you for your forgiveness."

I hear his quiet gasp.

… and then I push the button to end the call.

Then, I turn off my phone.

_There, just as if my precious red phone had been swallowed by the ocean._

The tears I'd kept at bay finally come as I curl up into a ball on my bed. How can he be so incredibly stupid?

I close my eyes, hoping to sleep away Valentine's Day.

_

* * *

**Later... around lunchtime...**

* * *

_

I roll over and feel something poking at my stomach. I reach down and pull out two other cards. I am nearly ready to chuck them in the waste bin, when I notice one is from LaPush.

_Jake._

I open the envelope and find a kid's valentine, the kind that is smaller than an index card, and it's got a goofy looking dog on it. On the back it says:

_What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?_

_A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"_

In his scratchy handwriting, he added, "Don't give up on the big bad wolf. I think you like him better than cats or birds."

I smile and put the card on the table. Unfortunately, I'm no longer the owner of a vase to prop it up against, since I can see the shattered remains of one of my favorites on the floor near my door.

I sigh and pick up the other envelope.

Nothing on the front.

Maybe Felicia?

I open the envelope and pull out a little card.

On the front is a little, red, embossed heart.

I run my finger across it and feel the bump.

My curiosity grows.

Little red bumpy hearts don't come from girl friends.

Beneath it, the words:

_~ All you have to do is think it and I'll be there.~_

Inside in precise, masculine handwriting:

_Dearest Leah,_

_Will you be my valentine?_

_- Stefan_

Tempting.

And if Embry hadn't been such a horse's ass earlier today, maybe I wouldn't even be considering it.

But he was.

And I am.

So, with deliberation, I form the thought.

_Yes, Stefan, I will be your valentine._

_

* * *

_

_

* * *

  
_

_**Author's note:** First, this story is getting to be a lot longer than I first imagined it would be. (It's longer than JOK!) Second, thank you to all who've decided to stick with me so far. The thing is, I have to follow this story arc. I tried rewriting it to accommodate feedback, but it came out really lame. Really dumb. So, though it's going to be twisty and angsty, I promise this is a CALLWATER fic. I swear it is!_

_And I like to write happy endings.... _

_So, really, this is just mid-story. We're all starting to see what a complete idiot-man-boy, 16-year old Embry can be (betcha all forgot he was still 16! I did for a second... sorry... I got carried away earlier and got you all hot and bothered **insert evil laugh here**). I hope at least some of you out there agree that Embry's got to do some growing up before he can truly be the man for Leah. Besides, Leah deserves to have a little fun before settling down for the real thing... seriously... she does!!!_


	31. Chocolatey Perfection

_**Warning**: Potty-mouthed Embry._

_

* * *

_

_**Dusk…  
POV: Leah**_

_**

* * *

**_

I've decided that I'm a moron, believing that by just thinking a thought I can make him magically appear in my room, or, at the very least, at my front door.

_I'm an idiot._

But not as big an idiot as Embry.

_Ugh!_

I shake my head at myself. Hell, I don't even know if Stefan's in the same time zone, much less whether or not he's next door at Felicia's place right now!

I finish my mental self-condescension and finally shower, change, and put my hair up. I'm pleased to discover that my mane has grown long enough that I can finally put it up again.

Clean, and no longer feeling maudlin, I make my way to the living room.

I think about making tea.

I squinch my face.

I hate tea.

Since Sam's wedding, though, I've been drinking tea.

Drowning myself in it, really.

Someone at school told me that it would be soothing.

It is.

Soothing, I mean.

But it tastes like flowers.

And right now, I hate flowers.

I really, really hate flowers…

especially little yellow ones.

Yes.

Sweet, little, yellow flowers...

…totally...

...suck.

_**knock knock**_

My attention shifts to the front door. Probably Felicia coming to drag me off to a night club or dinner. She's been razzing me all week about how my mood is depressing her. She's threatened to find some new hot guy for me if I'm going to do nothing about either her brother or Embry.

_As if._

Guys…

_**correction**__…_

_boys_…

suck too!

Just like flowers, they…

_both_…

totally...

suck.

_**knock knock knock**_

Unable to ignore the tapping on my door any longer, I twist out of my chair with a sigh, and make my way to the front door.

I prepare to tell her no. I'm staying inside on this godawful day.

I breathe before turning the handle.

It's been hard to breathe lately, but for once, I am able to take in a lungful.

The air that enters me carries something else along with it. The scent is wonderfully delicious - unfamiliar, yet, familiar. I can't put my finger on its source, but as soon as the door swings open, the answer to my unspoken question greets me.

I am thoroughly pleased.

His green eyes sparkle. His smile gleams. His blond hair, perfectly coifed. The planes of his face, masterfully sculpted. His dark brown, 100% Merino wool turtleneck sweater calls out for my touch. His tailored, dark slacks, and black leather shoes tell me I better go put on that special dress hanging in the back of my closet, and fix my face.

His hands hold a box.

It is pretty.

It is black and wrapped with a shiny red ribbon.

It looks expensive.

Very expensive.

"Hello, Leah," his voice, dark chocolate to my senses, velvety smooth.

_No flowers._

_No boy._

"Hello," I breathe.

"I brought you some chocolate."

I smile…

because...

chocolate…

definitely...

does not suck.

* * *

_**Dusk… around the same time Leah's enjoying her chocolates  
POV: Embry**_

_**

* * *

**_

I throw my phone down. There is no way I'm going to break it, or lose it again, so I purposely choose its crash zone as my unmade bed. I am frustrated beyond belief. She won't pick up. Sometimes, Leah can be such a stubborn bi-…

DAMN IT!

I can't get a hold of her. My mind is racing and I can't seem to think rationally because only one thought keeps coming through loud and clear:

_I am fucked. _

That's all I can think, and now another fact screams in my head,

_She hung up on me!_

I wrote and said something extremely stupid and I didn't even realize it at the time. Even after agonizing over every word in my card, I've managed to royally piss her off.

I _said_ the wrong thing.

I _thought_ the wrong thing.

I am _so_ fucked.

_Ugh!_

I hate my life! Maybe I should forget her, concede defeat. But then I think about _him_ and I find myself sneering.

_"What the hell I am, Embry, is your competition."_

Isn't that what the shifter said? Who the hell does he think he is, busting up my life like that? Claiming an imprint with a girl he doesn't even know?

I slide down the wall and cradle my head in my crossed arms which are resting on my bent knees. I think about Stefan. I'd spent a lot of time with him and besides the whole imprinting on the girl I want to be my girlfriend, I can't think of anything that makes him truly despicable. Except that he's perfect.

I can hate perfection, can't I?

I think I can, and, in fact, I will!

Leah doesn't need Mr. Perfect! She doesn't want perfection.

Right?!

Right!!

I close my eyes, absolutely aware that if I take into account everything that I know about him, what I've learned about him, have discovered about him - not just his story, but HIM as a person, or whatever the hell he is, and now knowing, through Jake, that Stefan left for New Hampshire yesterday evening… well…

I know now that I am truly...

and so…

completely...

fucked.

Clearly, I'm playing junior varsity and my opponent is in league with the professionals.

_What am I going to do now?_

I could continue to whine about the unfairness of it all. Or I can shut up and get my head in the game.

I've got to come up with a plan.

I _have_ to.

I bang the back of my head against my bedroom wall.

Shit!

**

* * *

_When five of the chocolates are gone…_  
POV: Stefan

* * *

**

The pleasure on her face makes me smile.

"So, did you cheat?" her words are directed at me, though her face is tilted toward the ceiling, and her eyes are closed while she savors her fifth truffle.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Wow, seriously? Do you normally talk like that?" Her head is no longer resting on the back of the sofa. Her dark almond eyes are wide now, and she's smiling at me as she replaces the top of her chocolate box. "What I mean is, did you read my mind to find out what I wanted?"

"Of course, Leah," I say confused at her definition of cheating. Yet, I continue to return her beguiling smile. "What sort of man would I be if I didn't use every power at my disposal to ensure that the woman, who so graciously agreed to be my valentine, receives all that her heart desires?"

"You are simply heavenly," she sighs dreamily at me, her head resting in her hand, her elbow propped on the arm of the sofa she sits in across the way. "But, please, Stef, don't do that anymore. It's cheating."

I nod, wincing a little at her shortening of my name. I find myself somewhat befuddled, but completely entranced by her.

Bella chooses this moment to enter the room. She casts an incredulous look at her friend, who is still gazing my way. Bella narrows her eyes suspiciously at me, strides over to Leah and waves a hand in front of her face. Leah does nothing but continue to stare, unblinking, at me as though I am her next piece of chocolate.

"What are _in _those chocolates?" Bella demands of me.

"I was told that within that box, there are 49 tempting gourmet flavors," I recite dutifully. "I don't presume to know which ones Leah decided to partake of out of the 157 truffles. I am, however, fairly certain that I did not choose the liqueur variety box," I continue with a chuckle. My hands open, displaying my innocence. "They are Richart Chocolates, Bella. I purchased them in San Francisco, before arriving here."

"Wow! Really?! You mean the French chocolates that go for-…"

"Bella, my dear, it is quite gauche to discuss the price of such a gift, particularly when the recipient is within earshot," I say, quickly pointing out her faux pas.

I am very much annoyed that basic etiquette has fallen by the wayside in the 21st century.

"He really does talk that way," comes Leah's breathy voice from behind Bella. "Pinch him, Bells, make sure he's real."

"I beg your pardon?!" I say, alarmed, tucking my arms closer to myself and keeping a wary eye on the standing brunette. "I believe it is the person who believes she is dreaming who should pinch herself!"

Bella laughs, turning to look at her friend on the sofa. "I think he's right, Leah. Go ahead, pinch yourself."

"Bella, go away now," Leah demands, somewhat rudely. "I'm OK. Really, it's just that the chocolates were so very, very delicious, and so very, very pretty. I'm simply in awe right now. You know, he's my valentine."

Bella's eyes go round and a delighted smile graces her face.

"Look at him, Bella, isn't he very, very pretty, too? I bet you he's pretty delicious as well." From across the coffee table Leah gives me a very inappropriate, slightly lacivious, once-over, adding, "really, Bella, this has nothing to do with him being my…_ you know_. I just like looking at him. He is awfully pretty."

Honestly, I am somewhat alarmed at my valentine's bizarre manner. In a conspiratorial whisper I ask Bella, "Has she been imbibing?" After all, I do not wish to have a lush as the future mother of my child.

Both women continue to smile mysteriously at me. So, I proceed, indignant.

"I must say, ladies, I do take some offense to being called _pretty_ and _delicious_. If you should remain constant in your desire to consider me solely your eye-candy, might I suggest you consider using more masculine descriptions? For example, I prefer _handsome_, or _dashing_. I can't imagine what, _delicious,_ has to do with _me_. Besides, the adjective, _pretty_, is meant as a descriptor for women, like you, Leah." I say with a slight waggle of my eyebrow.

I watch her blush. She doesn't seem to be used to the sort of attention I am paying her.

"No, Stefan, she hasn't been drinking, but Leah's normally less of a weirdo. Sort of." Bella steps a foot closer to me and peers into my face, then casts a look over her shoulder at Leah, who returns her smile. "You _really_ don't know what, _delicious_, has to do with you? Think about it, Stefan. Really. You should." I watch Bella and Leah shake their heads at each other over what I suppose they consider my unbelievable ignorance.

Before I'm able to ask if Leah is in any other way inebriated, Bella fills the silence.

"Leah's just been treated pretty badly by guys lately, Stefan, and she doesn't really know what to do about you, your expensive chocolates, and your romantic talk."

_Ah, Embry. Poor boy. He must have done something quite disastrous earlier._

"Yes! Really badly!" Leah confirms, still staring. "So, Stef, why are you being so nice to me?"

Bella decides this is an apropos moment to leave the room.

"Leah, please, I prefer Stefan. And am I being nice?" I ask politely. "This is the way I thought you'd expect me to behave after you so sweetly agreed to have me."

"Only for Valentine's Day," she quickly clarifies with an attractive pout. "Hey, why don't I feel the burning need to jump your bones right now?"

_Well, so much for romance,_ I think to myself, slightly caught off-guard. I take a moment to compose myself, clearing my throat and shifting in my seat.

"I didn't exercise the power of the thrall on you, Leah," I finally decide to explain.

"You did that last time?" she asks. "I thought, you know, I could only do that to you, according to the legend, or curse, or whatever."

"In actuality, Leah, since it appears as though we've - to use your colloquial - _imprinted_ on each other, the power we wield over one another is of equal strength Though, I believe, I am in possession of other powers that can still overwhelm yours."

I notice her grimace at the word, _imprinted_, but otherwise, she seems genuinely interested in the rest.

"Can I try it?" she asks unexpectedly."My power over you, I mean? Do I just have to think about being with you?"

I nod.

I watch her gaze shift down the length of my body. My awareness of her increases ten-fold. I find myself completely unprepared for the onslaught of desire I feel for the perfectly gorgeous stranger sitting across the room from me. I feel a tingling sensation tighten the muscles in my body as I watch her concentrate on calling me to her.

I smell her sweet scent wafting in the air. I feel her heat ignite my desire. Her want fills me up in places that have not felt such exquisite tension for years. My grip on the arms of my chair turns my knuckles white as I struggle to keep myself from leaping on her, while also using my strength to exert conscious restraint from splintering the chair's wooden arms into mere kindle.

"Please…" I manage in a strangled whimper. "Leah, please… stop."

She appears hypnotized, but my words seem to snap her out of her daze.

"Oh!" is all she says.

"Yes." I whisper, my head hanging, my breath ragged. My body suddenly limp.

"Too much?" She asks, awed.

"Yes," I whisper, still struggling for breath.

"That's how it felt for me," her voice suddenly bitter, her eyes hooded by some turbulent emotion.

"I know, I felt it in you then," I reply quietly. "Your desire was exponential in me that night. It whipped right through me, too… uncontrollable."

"Did you like it?" she asks her tone curious.

"Just now? No." I say truthfully.

"Honesty. Good. I like that," she says, half-speaking to herself. "Well, I didn't like it either, not then. And it was weird for me just now, too."

I look at her, purposely I stay out of her thoughts and instead I struggle in a human way to understand what she wants from me.

She gazes at me and I see strength there.

"So, yeah, Stefan. Just don't do it again."

"Would you like to qualify that request before you make it?" I ask quietly, unsure if she is aware of what she is asking. Maybe she'd like to feel that way again.

Sometime.

In the future.

With me.

"Yeah," she replies assuredly. "Don't do it again, EVER."

I nod knowing even now that I can choose to use my power over her to make her forget her demand, make her want me with an aching desire she'd never experienced for anyone before. But I decide to do the gentlemanly thing and honor her request.

Part of this is because I am afraid of her rejection, and, if truth be known, I am also afraid of her. If she, untutored, can do what she just did to me, well, that is something to be frightened of.

I silently recall how the passing years have not been kind to me. I shiver against the unwanted memories of other women who have used the same power, though only a fraction of its strength found in Leah, to enjoy their abuse of me. The humiliation and pain are still real within me.

I haven't been able to exercise my human masculinity for a long time. I've suffered silently, becoming increasingly concerned that I've become unable to be genuinely intimate with a woman without this artificial, supernatural power.

The last time I'd been with Leah, I'd used my shifter's power of the thrall. When her own power became entangled with mine, it was wildfire. Untamable. The emotions hadn't only been distressing for her. I'd been shocked, too. The feelings were ones I hadn't felt in, literally, hundreds of years, and, then, only with one other woman.

I don't want that.

I do not want mindless mating.

Not with this girl.

Not this time.

This is too important.

It's been a long time for me.

I've been waiting my life for Leah.

I can not frighten her.

After all, I possess enough fear for the both of us.

"I understand," I smile reassuringly at her. "Besides, wouldn't you consider the use of such power _cheating_?"

"Exactly," she smiles at me, a relaxed sigh escaping her lips, "Exactly."

**

* * *

**

**_While Leah practices her powers…_  
POV: Embry**

**

* * *

**

I've got no plan. The only thing I can do is grovel. So, grovel is what I do.

_Text_: Leah, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.

_E-Mail #1:_ Leah, please forgive me. I am an imbecile.

_Voicemail #1: --_beep--

Leah, I am not stalking you. I swear. I just can't get a hold of you. Did you turn off your phone? You shouldn't do that! Anyway, I'm calling because I want you to know that I know what a complete fool I am. I have been a total wreck without you in my life. This is why stupid stuff keeps coming out of my mouth and worse, my pen! I miss you. I really, really do! And I apologize from the bottom of my fool heart for my complete stupidity.

Of course, you did nothing wrong! Well, just the part about keeping the whole thing from me in the first place. But, that's water under the bridge. I've gotten over it.

Mostly.

Anyway! I'm sorry for being a complete ass… hole. Yeah.. Asshole about it. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I meant everything in that card. EXCEPT for that last line. I was an idiot when I wrote that part. Really. Please. Leah. Don't write me off. Dammit, Leah! Call m-

--beep--

Her stupid voice mail cuts me off.

I shouldn't have sworn at her.

Shit!

I'm pacing. That's bad.

_Don't wolves do that when they're ready to kill something?_ _Dammit! Leah, call me back! All this stupid technology and no call back or text back or 'You've Got Mail?!'_

_This SUCKS!_

_What are you doing, Leah!?_ I wonder, worried.

God, please don't be with Captain Perfection Personified. Captain PeePee, yeah, that's what I'll call him! Captain PeePee Pants.

I grind my teeth. Yeah, real mature, Embry, I scold myself.

_Crap! _

I just know they're together!

**

* * *

_Sitting Beside Him_  
POV: Leah**

**

* * *

**

_Felicia is right._

The more I stare at Stefan, the more convinced I am that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having my cake and eating it too.

I look into Stefan's eyes and realize I'm lost. Lost in the endless forest of his gaze.

I need to talk to snap us both out of it.

"So, now what?" I ask him, watching as he makes a smooth transition from the chair across the room to sitting beside me on the sofa.

"What would you like to do?" he asks, now only a hair's breath away. It seems he's fully regained control of his suave-self again.

"I… I really don't know," I answer truthfully, my voice a little shaky at his nearness.

"Would you like to have dinner?" he asks, his deep voice strumming a happy melody inside of me.

"Sure, that would be nice," I say, mesmerized by the shape of his lips. "I haven't eaten all day. Why don't I go and change?"

"Take your time," he drawls, running his eyes across my face, to my neck, taking in my current at-home ensemble with an appraising smile. He settles himself into the sofa, but not before his hand comes up to caress my cheek.

I feel a frisson of electricity jolt through my body. A blush creeps up into my face, but I manage to make myself pull away from his touch.

"I'm- I'm going to go change now," I say shyly, running my fingertips against the soft wool at his shoulder, not sure if I wish to pull him closer, or push him further away.

He doesn't say anything, just quietly allows me to retreat to the sanctuary of my room.

I shut the door quickly and throw my back against it, trying to breathe normally again. I slowly open my eyes to the inside of my room, only to spy my cellphone on the floor. I briefly consider turning it on, but convince myself that I deserve to be treated well tonight.

Certainly, whatever Stefan has to offer beats the socks off of sitting around waiting for a contrite phone call from Embry that will probably never come.

_That idiot, 16-year-old, arrogant, prick!_

I sigh and turn away from the sight of my hastily discarded phone. It sure is nice to have the comfort of anger back on my side. I embrace the familiarity of my fury which spurs me to make choices that I probably normally wouldn't make had I been in a different frame of mind.

I really do go to the back of my closet, now, and dig out the dress I'd dragged with me across the continent. I smile at the sight of my form-fitting Allen Schwartz Sheath Dress. I'd been waiting to don the low-backed cocktail gown for a long time. I'd been hoping to wear it on an official date with Embry. I'd even fantasized about how I might have even been able to wear it with him tonight, on Valentine's Day, as unlikely as that would have been, stupid valentine or not.

Bitter.

Clearly, I'll be holding onto this grudge for a little while longer.

I shrug at the sight of myself in the mirror, still holding my dress on its hanger. I carefully unzip the dress and pull it over my head. The luminous crimson satin slides silkily against my skin. I stand in front of my mirror to adjust the spaghetti straps and the low V of my neckline, making sure to accentuate all of my… assets.

I know I look good.

I turn to inspect my backside and in the reflection spy the wadded up paper from my earlier temper tantrum sitting on the floor.

_Forgive me?! _

_What a supreme jackass!_

I let out a disgusted breath.

The thought of Stefan, looking so delectable, sitting on my couch waiting for me flits through my brain.

_So, Leah,_ I think naughtily to myself,_ let's see what you can do tonight to deserve such magnanimous forgiveness._

I smirk at myself in the mirror, inspecting my makeup.

Yes. I do indeed look good.

I need to feel appreciated tonight by someone who I know wants me and lusts after me. And, right now, I don't really care if it's imprint-induced or not.

Forget Embry. Forget him and his stupid forgiveness.

It's really his loss anyway.

I make my way back to the living room. I am rewarded with Stefan's quick intake of breath and his look of unadulterated admiration. I smile as he offers his hand. I notice him slip his cellphone into the back pocket of his trousers.

"I've taken the liberty to make reservations in town," he informs me, his warm lips brushing against my ear. His thumb tracing a heart in my palm.

"By all means, Stefan," I say looking up at him with a flirty, feline smile. "Take all the liberties you want."

**

* * *

_After the date..._  
POV: Leah

* * *

**

I get home hours later, still floating on air.

A smile is on my face, as I relive the memories of my evening with Stefan.

There wasn't one weird, unwanted desire during the date. There was only just some innocent flirting, like me teasing him about his _winsome_, manner of speech.

I learned that word from him tonight.

_Winsome_.

And, yes, Stefan is truly winsome, in every sense of the word.

There was a little bit of playing footsie under the table, and a sharing of dessert. Well, really, it was mostly me stealing bites from his tempting crème brulee.

I felt the light touch of his finger on the corner of my lips as he wiped away some errant sauce during the main course, and, of course, there was a little bit of wine.

He smelled so good. He looked so good. He said all the right things. And because of the romance of Valentine's Day I even gave him a sweet, close-mouthed, goodnight kiss that had my toes curling in my sexy, black, strappy heels.

Did I mention I also gave his bottom a little pinch?

_I did have to make sure he was real, after all._

And real he is.

Very, very real.

I smile, remembering the look of pleased shock on his face before he nuzzled his face against mine, telling me that he'd see me in the morning.

This is why I'm waltzing on air.

This is why I feel thrilled to bits.

It was the perfect Valentine's date. And I get to see him in the morning.

And I don't have to sleep with him...

or fight with him...

or worry that he'll imprint on someone else and leave me without him.

Maybe I can just get over my stupid ideas about idiot boy in LaPush and have Stefan turn on his _power of the thrall_, or whatever he calls it. Then I can throw my second-thoughts out the window and simply have mad, hot, passionate sex with him.

That couldn't be bad.

Right?

I shake my head.

Unfortunately, Stefan isn't the jerk I still care about.

He isn't the moron I want to be with.

Which is too bad.

I wish it could be different.

Really.

I kick off my shoes and quietly make my way to my room. Tip-toeing past Bella's room.

Stefan is gorgeous and yes…

even...

perfect.

I think this as I shut my bedroom door.

Too fricken bad my heart is set on someone else.

It's just that…

tonight I won't be sleeping in the goGreen.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

_1. I know "squinch" is not a real word._

_2. Thank you for your continued interest in this story and your enthusiastic support in allowing me to continue along this story trajectory. I do promise it will all come around._

_3. To Kei Kat: Yes, exactly! GO TEAM LEAH! I loved your last review… I have to say it spurred me along to get me posting this latest update._


	32. A Laugh and a Nod

_**A Laugh and a Nod  
****POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

"Leah, when was the last time you laughed?"

I tilt my head curiously at him.

"What?" I ask.

We are sitting in Felicia's living room. My head is on the arm of the cream-colored sofa as Stefan paints my toenails a cherry apple red. It's Felicia's nail polish that we swiped from her medicine cabinet. He seems more than happy to be my partner in crime. It's also a pretty intimate thing to do, especially for us, since we've made no promises, but have managed to hang out with each other for a little bit nearly every day since Valentine's Day. It's now mid-March. He'll be leaving for LaPush in a couple of days.

Still, surprisingly, we've managed to keep a fairly platonic relationship. Some kissing, but mostly hand holding and longing looks. He knows I'm reticent about going further physically, and he's probably already read my mind and knows I'm an innocent who won't turn in my v-card to just _anyone_.

So, yes, the home-pedicure is a fairly intimate thing for us to be doing. But it's sort of a test for myself to see if my feelings for Stef, _ahem_, Stefan, have changed. Unfortunately, my stubborn heart hasn't come around to my very intelligent brain's thinking. I know this because the very definition of gorgeous and attentive is at my feet and I still wish he was _someone_ else.

The same _someone_ who wrote me a stupid message on an otherwise beautiful Valentine's Day Card.

That same _someone_ who called me later on Valentine's Day and said idiotic, self-centered things to piss me off enough to think about going on a date with Stefan.

That same STUPID _someone_ who pushed me away after I practically threw myself at him…

That very same moronic _someone_ who's left nearly 20 passive-aggressive e-mails, texts, and voicemails that go back and forth between begging me to forgive him, to demanding I forgive him, and finally to threatening me with the most random things, like not getting me a birthday present, for example, for not calling him back…

Of course, it doesn't stop there because this _someone_ also has _the absolute nerve_ to suggest that since I don't deign to call him back, that perhaps I'm nursing a guilty conscience over the fact that it might really _be_ all my fault that we're fighting... after all, I started it first by not bothering to tell him about Stefan when the imprint happened!

_Seriously! Back to THAT again?!_

Embry really needs to figure out what he wants from me. I've been wavering back and forth about calling him back these last three weeks because of his wishy-washiness. Just as I'm on the verge of calling him or writing him, he freaks out and says, or writes something incredibly ridiculous that sends me into the vortex of extreme pissed-offedness.

Right now, he's in freak-out mode and I'm infuriated.

Stupid wolf just sent me a letter that demanded I write back, or he'd be forced to spend all of his hard earned cash on a plane ticket out to the East coast just to make sure Stefan hadn't killed me and stuffed hacked up pieces of my body in the cellar - or something as equally heinous.

_Ugh! _

_Men!_

The blond man at my feet stops to gaze at me quizzically. His hand halts in mid-air, his fingers still hold the little nail polish brush. It's not unlike some of the delicate tools he uses for work, I think idly.

He takes a moment to examine the tiny brush, and then nods an affirmative at my musings.

"Turn it off," I order, squirming slightly away from him.

He notices my discomfort at his unusual ability and, just like that, he shuts it off. I don't feel him in my head anymore.

_Wow! Cool, I didn't know he could do that! I should have asked him to do that a long time ago!_

With the absence of him inside of my mind, I realize I've gotten used to having the light weight of his thoughts in my head after so long. He always managed to tread lightly, but I didn't know he could turn it all off - at will! Wow, Bella's going to be impressed when I tell her that Stefan's way cooler than her ex-leechlove in the psychic powers department.

I let out a breath and really relax now. Stefan seems to notice my increased comfort because he smiles and continues with the conversation we were having before I made my sudden request.

"I'm not talking about the polite kind of laugh, Leah," he explains, "but the laughter that has you nearly crying, your stomach cramping, and you fearful that you just might perish because you can't seem to catch your next breath, sort of laughing."

"Really, Stefan," I sigh impatiently, "there's nothing in my life that would remotely make me feel like laughing."

"You do realize how frightfully sad that statement is?" His eyes, the color of the Everglades, gaze at me mournfully, his lips form a slight pout.

And then I laugh…  
… at his words.  
… at his expression.

It is a joyful laugh, a sound I've forgotten I can make. Then to my surprise, and to Stefan's delight, I keep on laughing as I think about our petty theft of the nail polish… at the two of us on the sofa like we don't have a care in the world other than to irritate his sister…I laugh at his funny way of talking, his old-fashioned manners, and finally at this utterly, out-of-this-world ridiculous situation we find ourselves in.

It is the sort of gut-busting laughter that has him holding my foot still so I won't muss up his nail paint artistry.

"I do believe you have no idea how very beautiful you are" he says, once I'd calmed, carefully applying the first coat of red paint to my pinky toe. I watch him dip his head back down. The tip of his tongue slips past his lips in concentration, his brow crinkling as he stares at the brush against the nail.

"You _have_ to say that. You're my mate, fated to be with me whether I want it or not… and you want to get in my pants." I try not to laugh as he brushes a more sensitive part of my foot with his hand.

"Be that as it may," Stefan replies. I watch as his admiring gaze moves slowly from my feet, right on up my body to finally meet my eyes. "You're still quite, quite lovely, Leah. And, for the record, yes, I do want to get into your pants. I hope you won't hold that against me."

I laugh again and this time his rich, deep chuckle joins in. I shiver at the velvet chocolatey sound.

"Well, keep dreaming, lover," I say softly, a hint of invitation in my gaze.

"Technically, you can't call me that...," his sultry baritone is a melody that matches the mood of the color we've chosen for my tootsies. I catch his mischievous little smile and the softly whispered "…yet," against the skin near my ankle. He swipes the last coat of paint on my little toe, and twists the brush back into the bottle. Triumphantly, he looks up, pleased with his handiwork.

He lifts my foot for my inspection. I wiggle my pretty toes, and giggle at him, like those silly girlie-girls do. I'm even tempted to toss my hair. I haven't felt this way, well, I haven't felt this carefree since my dad was alive, and since Sam was mine, which means … since a very, very long time.

"Do you know, Leah, how amazing it is for me to get to know you this way?" he says, placing my feet and my drying toes gingerly on his lap, his warm palms against my shins. "This has been the most enjoyable vacation I have _ever_ experienced. It rivals even my time in Venice." He's leaning back against the sofa, his eyelids drooping. I eye him suspiciously since all we ever have done is pretty staid, and then the answer to his initial question finally hits me.

"Oh! I know the last time I laughed _that_ way," I say suddenly. "It was Labor Day weekend, the night before I saw you… and Jake had just left for his run."

"Why were you laughing?"

"…Because Jake needed to jump in a cold lake to cool his libido and Bella was looking at me funny. For whatever reason, Bella and he aren't…uhmmm... you know…"

"…Aren't _what_?" Stefan's confusion is genuine.

I sigh, "Having sex."

"They _choose_ not to?!" Stefan's eyes go wide. "I don't understand, why is this amusing?"

_Oh, I forgot who I was talking to, cursed-to-be-celibate-forever-guy. Poor Stefan!_

"Most people think I'm a pain in the ass," I say, sobering, pointedly ignoring his question.

"Yes, but the thorniest of roses are the most beautiful in full bloom," he says, quirking his lips upward. "You should also be made aware of the fact that I am not _most people_."

"Believe me, Stefan, I already know _that_. In any case, no one seems to stick around for the blooming part," I say, sending him a sad smile, still unable to fully digest his flirtation. No one's engaged me in this kind of banter before. It is fun... and silly... and different and it's ...

_not Embry.... _

I frown.

"You don't like me," he catches my expression. His gaze turns thoughtful, as his hand unconsciously begins massaging the arch of my right foot. I'm surprised he's still being respectful, still staying out of my brain. I don't dislike him. In fact, I feel quite the opposite towards him right now as I feel the pads of his fingers working their magic on my foot.

I close my eyes.

_Ohmigod! Ohmigod! That-Feels-So-Freakingly-Amazingly-Good, Please Don't Stop!_

It's hard for me to form a coherent sentence as he continues his ministrations, but I try.

"No, Stefan, it's not _that _at all. Even after these three weeks, I still feel like I don't _know_ you enough to have a real opinion." I stop my explanation and frown. I add slowly, "The truth is, the only thing that I _do_ know is that I don't really like myself."

"Whatever for? What's not to like?"

I laugh humorlessly.

"You're sweet," I say, pushing him a little with my foot.

His eyebrows knit together, a concerned look fills his face as he tries to make sense of me.

"I'm not trying to be sweet, Leah. I truly think you are beautiful. You are intelligent. You aspire to better yourself. You desire true love and you wish to rid yourself of me. "

I sit up and abruptly pull my feet away. I ask him rather brusquely to repeat his last sentence. And he does.

"You desire true love and you wish to rid yourself of me."

"Why should I like myself for wanting to get rid of you? You're my…._imprint_," I mutter, barely saying the last word.

_Sheesh, I've been hating myself for not wanting him enough, for not believing he could really be mine… all because I truly don't think I deserve someone like him in my life._

"You forget, Leah, that there have been women before you. They've wielded and abused this power that you have no desire to hold over me," he says, patiently reaching for my other foot. "You do not wish to own me. You do not wish me ill. You simply wish me gone, or... you wish I were another. And that is far kinder than what has befallen me in this endless life of mine."

I wonder at his experiences.

I am too afraid to ask.

"I barely even know you, and I'm supposed to believe that you're my soul mate?" I say aloud, frustrated. "You are supposed to be the father of a baby I'm supposed to truly consider having. It's all so crazy!" I look at him and I find myself worrying for him. If my desire to be rid of him is a _good_ thing, then I want to be spared the horror of the rest. Being unwanted is _the_ absolute worst thing that's ever happened to me! How can he think that me not wanting him is a _good_ thing?

As I ponder, I also realize I am in heaven as he pays attention to my other foot. His gentle touch so unfamiliar, yet, so comforting. I find myself wishing desperately that Embry wasn't still lurking around in my thoughts, still able to pull on my heartstrings.

"Will you go away if I ask you to?" I ask curiously.

He nods, suddenly quiet, the twinkle leaving his eyes.

_Maybe being unwanted is just as bad for him as it is for me, after all._

I think of Chenoa. She says Stefan is my way to Embry. I can not shake off her words.

_Love Stefan well and when the time comes, love my son better._

"Do you want me to release you?" I ask him. For some bizarre reason I think of Aladdin and the Genie. The Genie wanted freedom, maybe Stefan wants it too.

"The decision is yours alone, Leah. I can not force you to do what I've asked of you. I know as much about you as you do of me. Of course, it _is_ frightening! For goodness sakes, Leah! I'm asking you to have a child… _our_ child. How could you not be scared?" he looks at me helplessly. "In truth, if the tables were turned, I don't know if I could be so selfless. If you turn me away, I will completely understand."

"What will happen to you if I do that?" I ask.

"I will simply continue on as I am, fearful of another evil thrall, fearful for my sister's soul should she- ," he seems too pained to finish his thought. He clears his throat and looks away, out the window into the woods whose trees are only now beginning to take on the color of his eyes.

If I had expected an answer that would be comforting, I would have been disappointed. He does not sugar coat.

"Leah, you're asking me whether your refusal of me is what I desire. What I'm telling you is that if you tell me to go, I will understand, but do not think you will be releasing me should you do so. Your refusal will simply bring me more of the same. I would even call it _torture_," the look he sends me is heart-wrenching. "You are the woman I have been waiting for. Felicia and I have been waiting all our adult lives for you. The combined length of our lifetimes surpasses even the human concept of time. I know I am asking the near impossible of you. I am more than aware, believe me, that if you were to grant me my true freedom it would mean much sacrifice for you. So, no, Leah, I can not tell you what to do. It must be _your_ decision. _Your_ choice."

"What about the baby?" I ask.

"The baby will always be ours."

"Do I have to get pregnant…now?"

I watch him shake his head. "No, and even if you wanted to, you aren't yet able."

"Oh. So, when?" I wonder out loud, not realizing that my question offers him hope.

"You'll know when the time is right," he answers with a small smile.

_I'd been wishing to be normal, to be able to become a mother. But this way?_ _What does it all mean? Will he leave me and the baby alone after he's 'released'?_

_What does that mean, anyway? If I do this, will Embry hate me? What if Chenoa is wrong? Will I be alone in the end, just like her?_

For now, these questions are my own.

_How can I say no?_

_But, how can I say yes? _

I watch him smile shyly at me. I return it. My heart twists for him. I know he needs me to stay, to help him escape from his hellish existence.

"I believe, Leah, that there are varying shades of love. The mere fact you are even bothering to consider participating in this insanity, has me believing that I can grow to love you… if you let me." He places a finger on my lips which are poised to utter a ready refusal. He continues, "No, not as you truly deserve, Leah, but I could love you well... I could love you well."

I send him a silent, but questioning look. His finger starts to rub my lower lip and it does feel so very nice.

A thoroughly selfish thought enters my mind, especially considering where my heart is.

_Why can't I capture his true love? Aren't I **his** thrall, **his** imprint?! __Why not soulful love?_ _Who does his heart belong to?_

He fingers close around mine, his touch and his expression asking for entrance into my mind. If anything, he must be able to read my expression.

I nod.

He sends me a picture of the woman he loves. She is lovely and does, in fact, look very much like me. Her hair is longer, but raven black, too. She is curvier, shorter, like I'd been before phasing. Her immense magical power is unmistakable. She exudes a self-confidence I can only imagine possessing. I feel the love he has for her rise inside of me. The deep longing nearly chokes me. I stop breathing at the beauty of it.

I even recognize these emotions.

My breath catches.

_How can he want __**me**__ when he desires **her** this much?_

"Stefan, I'm not _her_." I say aloud.

"I know Leah... and I am not _him_."

I whip my face up at stare at him, surprised he'd even mention such a thing after all the time we've spent together.

He places a flash of Embry's face in my mind.

My eyes water.

"I'm so sorry, Stefan. "

"I know, Leah, so am I."

And suddenly Stefan is out of my head, no longer in my thoughts.

He is, now, simply a man, a beautiful man, sitting on the sofa beside me, holding my hand, and capturing my gaze.

Waiting.

I have to tell him we can't go on.

I should refuse him.

I know I should.

If we can't love one another the way we each should be loved, we shouldn't continue.

We're talking about a _baby_!

I should tell him.

Yes, I should tell him.

"Will you allow me to get to know you, Leah?" Stefan's question hangs in the silence. His deep green eyes seem to bore into my soul just as soon as I finally decide to tell him good-bye.

And then it happens, a door closes inside me, and I feel a little window open to let a cool breeze in.

He hasn't turned on any of his powers to convince me.

This is all me.

_Just me._

His thumb still caresses the inside of my palm. Small shockwaves from his simple touch rocket through me.

"If you decide to help me break this curse, Leah, I promise to return you to the one you love. I promise you this because if you agree to what can be between us, you will be doing the very same for me."

I consider the relative simplicity of what he's asking. How hard could _this_ be, _really_? Surrogate mothers do this. They are, in fact, considered selfless, generous even. I do, however, recognize that my motives, should I go through with this, are hardly selfless. After all, we'd both get what we want. No heartache. No muss. No fuss. One word from me and we could have everything we've both ever wanted.

So, slowly, I nod yes, and pray to all the ancients that Chenoa is right.

_

* * *

**A couple of days later, when Stefan is up in an airplane.  
****POV: Leah

* * *

**_

"You're going to _WHAT_?!"

I have to pull the phone away from my ear. I had no idea he knows how to cuss in our native tongue!

Yes, he is _that_ mad.

I knew he wouldn't take it well.

He has other ideas, other hopes, and me hooking up with Stefan is definitely not part of his plan of how things are supposed to work out.

"It's for the best, don't worry about me," I say calmly. "I know what I'm doing."

I hear the outraged huff across the phone line and more cussing, in English this time.

"I had to work with the vampire - for YOU - over this!"

"I know," I reply, "and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, but I'm doing the right thing by choosing this."

"I seriously doubt that girlie-wolf."

"Jake."

"No, Leah, don't _Jake_ me, I don't think this is a good idea. I just imprinted on his sister and I can't come out there anymore to be with you if this fails and you change your mind. This is serious! You can't _think_ you can do what he's asking of you! You have to KNOW that!"

"Look, Jake, I only told you because I know he's going over there today and I don't want him to be the one to blab about this to people. Though, I doubt he will," I sigh at Jake's overreaction and say accusingly, "Oh, and, Black, don't you dare try to convince me that the whole reason you want me to fight this imprint is because you're concerned for me. I know you want to watch me fight my imprint so you can learn how to fight yours."

"Misery loves company, Leah," I still hear the fight in his voice.

"Hey, I have an idea, Beta, why don't you ask her to turn you human? That way you wouldn't have to imprint - ever again," I suggest offhandedly. "Besides, you and I are different in this. You're not the one staring at an ancient curse that requires you to give birth to some shifter child before you can find your true happiness," I say wryly.

"Even so," I can almost hear his eyebrow rising. "What about Embry?"

"What about _him_? He's been a complete jackass through this whole thing. Oh, and incidentally, he still thinks _everything_ is my fault."

"You're not being fair to him, Leah. I'll go and talk to him again," Jake says, exasperated. "He's going out of his mind because of your long-distance silent treatment. Hear him out. Stop being so stubborn. "

"Whatever, Jake, but, personally, I wouldn't waste my breath. _He's _the one who walked away. I think he's got his head stuck so far up his ass, he's never going to see the light of day anytime soon," I spit this out sarcastically, even though I'm doing a happy dance inside my head.

_Finally! Someone's finally going to knock some sense into that stupid boy - the same idiot boy who I also happen to want very much back in my life. _

I roll my eyes at my own stupidity, thankful that Jake can't see. Jake chuckles appreciatively in my ear, letting me know I'm starting to get creative with my insults again. Then he says goodbye.

I hang up before I hear the empty silence on the other side.

_

* * *

**Back on the reservation…**  
**POV: Embry**_

* * *

The elders inform me of his arrival back on the dig site and request that I go join him. I make a bee-line to the area.

"Hey!" I shout, not kindly, as soon as I catch sight of him.

He turns toward me.

"It's been a while, Embry. I've missed our little chats," Stefan replies in that irritatingly calm way of his. He's so smooth that I think I only imagine the sarcasm in his words.

"Have you been with Leah all this time?" I ask, not bothering to beat around the bush.

He continues his work as though he hasn't heard me. His lack of undivided attention irritates the hell out of me.

"I was visiting my sister, Felicia," he says, unzipping his tool bag. It's too easy to convince myself that he's being evasive.

"_That's_ not what I asked you," I say.

His eyes widen slightly at the mental picture I form of what I believe he'd been doing with Leah. He doesn't look at all happy with me and my overactive imagination. I half hope he says something to taunt or provoke me. It'll be the perfect excuse for me to fight him. After all, I'm a werewolf! I can tear apart a lynx!

To my surprise, he only shakes his head at me, and continues sorting his tools.

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, Embry," he says quietly. Then he pointedly catches my eye and says reproachfully, "I would also have liked to think you hold the woman you love in higher esteem than you just displayed in that unsavory image of her that you shared with me a moment ago."

I ignore his unwanted assessment of what he believes my feelings are for Leah. I also shake off the feeling of utter shame slowly creeping over me. For the moment, I'm more angry at myself than at him, but I decide to continue my unfounded interrogation anyway.

"Did you kiss her?!"

I watch his lips move into a disgusted snarl, marring his good looks. Disdainfully he replies, "If I were you, I would focus less on what _I've_ done with Leah, and think more about why _you're_ not the one in _my_ place."

At a loss for words, I stare at him as he calmly goes about his work. He's doing what he always did here before his trip back East. His movements are a patterned solo that I've become accustomed to watching him dance. I wait for him to pull out his smallest tools before I speak again.

"I haven't heard from her at all," I say, trying to keep the whine out of my tone. "She hasn't called or written."

I squirm under his assessing glare.

"Have you given her any reason to, Embry?"

I shoot daggers at him and he does little to hide his knowing smirk as he brushes by me to gather another bag by a nearby tree. I'd overlooked it in my haste to get to him.

_DO SOMETHING!_

The thought he places in my head is an unmistakable command. I whip my head up to look at him. He isn't looking at me.

_WHATEVER YOU DID TO HER, EMBRY, FIX IT._

"Wha-?" I say startled and then am confused when I look at him again, only to find he's still carrying his smirk. I narrow my eyes and look away.

_IF YOU LOVE HER, FIX WHATEVER IT IS YOU DID!_

And, then, just as suddenly as Stefan's invaded my mind with his shouting, the slight weight of him disappears from my thoughts. I turn toward him, expectantly. I watch him working patiently at his table, his face away from mine. I must've been staring at him for a long time because he seems to be cleaning up already.

_Help me!_ I plead silently in my frustration.

I watch Stefan still his hands on his instruments. He, then, slowly shifts his face to look at me. I'm startled to hear his voice out loud after our bizarre mental conversation.

"Embry," his deep timbre sounds sad, his eyes bore into mine, "I'm trying."


	33. First Comes Love

_**Warning: There may be a part of this that you'll want to skip if you don't read M, stay alert for the * note.**_

_

* * *

_

_**Ch 33: First Comes Love  
**_

___POV: Embry_

_

* * *

_

I stare at the paper in my hands, a spotlight shines on me in my uncomfortable suit, and my mom is in the audience proudly taking this all in. My boss is looking at me like a proud papa. Not that I'd know what one looks like first hand, but I'm pretty sure I can imagine one.

"… You've been chosen as our scholarship recipient this year, Embry. The official awards ceremony will be on the East Coast, near Portsmouth Harbor in New Hampshire. Your work has been exemplary, son, and you've been tirelessly committed through this whole campaign. The partners and I picked you as the hands-down winner of this prestigious award. It usually goes to high school seniors and first year college students. But we can't ignore all that you've done."

I smile, trying to keep up. He lost me at _New Hampshire._

"… paying your way to attend the awards ceremony… bring your parents… your efforts at recruiting school sites, we'll be kicking off the cross-country clean ports campaign by starting work in Portsmouth… this summer. The dollar amount of this scholarship should cover... first year of college…. continue on with Green Alliance beyond high school graduation... annual award for you."

My understanding of his speech is spotty, at best, because I can only think of one thing. I can't believe my luck at being able to get to where Leah is during Spring Break without having to pay all the expenses. And to spread the icing on the cake, I know Stefan has to stay in LaPush since he'll be meeting with the elders to discuss his findings thus far.

_Portsmouth can't be that far away from where she and Bella live. Can it?_

Turns out it's a two hour drive. I check the computer as soon as I get home. Now to convince my mom she doesn't need to come with me and to get Leah to let me into her house.

* * *

**_Spring break  
POV: Leah_**

* * *

It's spring time, my favorite time of year.

Bella and I decided to stay here during spring break to keep moving forward with our studies. No one seems to need us in LaPush and I'm finally feeling good about my academic choices. I've decided to double major in fashion and business with a minor in theater. My first solo design will be hitting the runway at my school's Spring Fling Fashion Show next week, and I'm beyond nervous and excited.

This is why I'm trying to find calm after a long afternoon at the design studio. A knock at the door disturbs my evening yoga workout.

"Bella, are you expecting anyone?" I ask, turning my head to where she's studying at the dining room table.

"Jake says the person behind that door will be a sight for sore eyes," she says with a tight smile on her face. Something in her inability to meet my gaze tells me she's more than a little skeptical about this. "He says you'll _enjoy_ this surprise."

I shrug and move to open the door. The way she describes the prize behind door number one, you'd think that Jake personally gift-wrapped Stefan and placed him on my front step. I thought Bella _liked_ Stefan. Why is she looking so unhappy about him being here?

Then, with a start, it occurs to me that it's Jake we're talking about. Oh, hell, it could be anyone, _Seth_, or someone more horrendous, like, Paul? Anything is possible because since the last time we spoke, Jake was still annoyed at me for the terse way I was dealing with Embry.

_Embry,_ who still has no idea what's going on in my life unless Jake finally bought him a clue.

I pull the door open and cautiously peek around it. My mouth hangs open with shock.

"Hey, what's up, Buttercup?"

I blink owlishly at him. I can not believe he's actually _here_.

"Embry?"

"In the flesh," he says, smiling, opening his arms to me, moving in for a hug.

I step away from his grasp and I see the flash of hurt in his eyes. I try not to feel guilty about it.

_Does he truly think I will fall into his arms after all this time? After all he's said and done?_

"Why are you here?" I ask grumpily. Bella's come to the door to stand behind me. She's silent as she watches our volleyed exchange.

Poor thing, she still has no idea about my feeling for Embry. I hate keeping her in the dark, and playing her the fool in front of her boyfriend about my supposed adoration of Stefan. But I just can't get into it with her, especially since she seems so keen on me getting together with Stefan, my so-called mate for life.

I also can't shake the feeling that she slightly disapproves of Embry, as though she's privy to information that someone's keeping confidential from me.

_Believe me, though, I've been keeping up. Hell, I know he's no angel! _

In my floundering attempts to try to get some insights on how to get over him, I've sent PMs to some of the girls on his MySpace site. Now, we've got a little virtual community going on over there, the _How to Get Over Embry Call _discussion board. _Hilarious, but not in the ha-ha sort of way. _

The thing is, just knowing he's had this many women has helped spur on the anger that's allowed me to stay pissed off at him for this long. Funny, because despite this, and the self-help group, it seems I'm not any closer to getting over him. I keep checking the discussion board because in developing on-line relationships with his other women, which I'm sure has me crossing the line somewhere between simple stalker and clinically insane, I find some peace of mind in that he isn't seeking comfort in any of his ex's arms.

"Leah, are you OK?" Bella inquires, her hand at my shoulder. I know she can feel the tension of my muscles beneath her fingertips. I don't have to look at her to know she's shooting a murderous look at Embry.

"Just peachy," I say too loudly, turning to her with a nod and a strained smile. "Well, if anything, he is a sight, right?!"

She narrows her gaze at me and purses her lips. I know she's going to give me the third degree as soon as we're alone.

"Uhm, I guess, if you say so," she looks at him and a silent message passes between them. "Ohhh 'kay. Anyway, I have to get to the school library before it closes today. I have a book on hold that they're going to reshelve if I don't go claim it. I'll be back soon. Alright?"

I shoot her a look that says she doesn't have to ask for my permission, though, I have a feeling Jake told her she should clear out once Embry got here. I give her a little wave good-bye as she makes her way around Embry, whispering something threatening to him, I think, before finally walking out the door.

"Aren't you going to let me in?"

When I hear his less than subtle request for entrance, I swivel my face to look at him. He looks good, a little thinner, but good. His eyes though… I feel the start of a headache coming on.

"Depends on what you have to say," I answer tightly, crossing my arms and widening my stance to block the doorway. "So, speak."

I can see the beginnings of a scowl mar his lips and I stare at it, clenching my jaw, silently daring him to just go ahead and develop that scowl into a full-on sneer.

_Just give me one worthy excuse to slam this door in your face, you self-serving, rat-assed bastard._

I know he's searching my face for any indication that I am open to whatever Jake must've been coaching him to say in, not just _weeks_, but _months_, for this solo performance.

_Oh, I just can't wait to hear this_, I think sarcastically, as I shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny. He moves one hand toward me, I flinch away and he sighs, frustrated.

"Will you look at me, Leah?"

_I won't. I can't. _

If I do, he'll see my heart in my eyes and he'll know all the suffering he's put me through. I won't let him see, because the last time I showed how vulnerable and scared I was, he viciously pushed me away. It nearly killed me. The memory of it causes me a harsh intake of breath. I strengthen my stance. "You came to tell me something, obviously. Why do I have to _look_ at you while you do it?"

"For chrissakes, Clearwater, will you stop this for a minute and listen?"

"I _am_ listening, Call," I say, drawing out the vowel in his surname, "but as of yet, you haven't said anything worth listening to."

As though I'd slapped him, I hear the hiss of his sharp breath at my words. I can almost hear his thoughts clicking through his brain. Seems as though he's going to break from his careful script.

_Let's see where he goes now,_ I think darkly to myself.

I am unprepared for his improvisation.

"I'm sorry, Leah," his voice cracks, startling me, but not enough for me to look up at him. He clears his throat and continues, "I've done the wrong things, I've said the wrong things, I've written the wrong things."

I feel him pull at my folded forearms, his hands gripping my wrists as he continues, "I'm here because I want to make it right. I want to make things right between us again. I want to fix what I've done to wreck us."

The regret in his voice slams into me me, cracking and tumbling the wall of anger I'd erected these last months. The wave of emotion threatens to engulf me.

_This isn't supposed to happen. I can't have him yet!_

_I'm just getting it together for myself, just starting to find myself, starting to like myself. _

I'm enjoying the silliness and fun of Stefan, yes, the joy of having someone who doesn't demand anything of me but for me to be myself, to be happy. But I feel… I still feel I need Embry in my life. That even as messed up and as selfish this is, I want him to stay, to wait for me to get it together.

_And, he's here_. _He's really here_,_ asking for the same thing, and he doesn't blame me for the mess we're in._

I blink rapidly, willing the threatening tears not to fall.

_Don't cryDon't cryDon't cry_. Like a scratched vinyl record skipping, my mantra repeats over and over in my brain. I don't know what to say. I can't think beyond his heartfelt apology and the fact that I want things to be right between us again, too.

"I've been thinking about it - all of it - and I know that I've been a complete ass-" he says quietly, dipping his head closer to mine, low enough for his eyes to capture mine.

"-hole," I finish for him, though, not bitterly. "Ass_hole._ Get it right, asshole."

I see the whisper of a smile form on his lips and his slight nod at my lighter tone and the bemused twitch of my lips.

"Yes, a really stupid _asshole_," he affirms, a long dimple forming on his right cheek. I let out a watery laugh at the familiar sight of it. I feel the touch of his finger at my chin. He tilts my face up to his. I see the pleading in his dark brown eyes and I know I'm lost. I just can't fight him anymore, not in person when I can see his regret. He seems to sense my acquiescence because he moves his face closer to mine and gently places his lips against the tears clinging to my eyelashes.

"Forgive me, Leah," the breath from his whispered apology dries the wet trails along the side of my face. His hand glides slowly against my jaw, touching my temple, as though memorizing the curve there.

I shake my head furiously. I feel his body tense, at last so near that I can hear his breath catch. I sigh and shake my head again. I feel his hands go slack in defeat against my arms. I look at him furtively.

"Embry, there's nothing to forgive," I finally find the voice to say. "I understand why…" My own breath hitches as I am rewarded with the dawning of understanding in his eyes and his glorious, relieved grin. My hands reach out to him, now, holding on to his upper arms, feeling the muscles of his biceps relax under my palms. I place my forehead against his chin and he holds me closer. Now I feel bad for the way I've acted, too. So, I try to tell him so, "Embry, I've been-"

"- here all this time, Leah," he interjects, placing light kisses against my temples, "You've been here all this time fighting your imprint, doing it alone, and I was too self-involved to see what you'd already done to try and stop this-" his frustrated, roughly expelled breath ruffles the hair at the top of my head, I can feel the kiss he places there.

I listen to his words and realize Jake hasn't told him about my decision about Stefan and, eventually, the baby. My heart clenches. How am I going to tell him, now? How am I going to tell him I've chosen Stefan when I'm here like this with him? My headache blossoms and I moan in despair. He pulls me closer, mistaking my sound for something else.

"I'm so sorry for being so stupid for so long," he says against my ear, "I'm so sorry for not giving you a better reason to stay with me. But I'm here now, I'm here for you. I want to be with you, if you'll still have me."

"Stop saying you're sorry," I say, wiggling in his grasp to place my fingers to his mouth.

"Say you'll still have me, Leah," he says against my hand, his lips placing a kiss against my palm, his arms holding me tighter. "Please, say you'll still have me."

His words wash over me and I forget about everything else. I want this too much to say no. I curse my selfishness before speaking the words I'd been longing to say, knowing as soon as I utter them that I will be the one slicing into my own heart this time.

"Embry, I never let you go."

My last lucid thought is wondering how Embry could possibly have gotten better at kissing since the last time I saw him.

_

* * *

_

**_Back in LaPush_**  
_POV: Stefan_

_

* * *

_

I re-read my research notes and confirm my discovery.

With fingertips against my brows, I close my eyes.

I was right. He _does_ have a vital role to play in this, after all.

Thank the gods I pushed him out of his misery and into action.

I'm glad he's where he is today - with her - with Leah. They do, indeed, need each other to survive this.

I curse my witch to hell and back again.

Sneaky.

Vengeful.

Wicked.

_Damn, if I didn't love her for it._

I smile at the thought of her. The image of her face in my memory smiles back, beckoning me hurry to her.

_Soon, love. Soon, _I think to myself.

I shake myself out of my reverie.

It's time for me to go and visit Chenoa Call.

* * *

**_Leah makes a choice  
POV: Embry_**

*If you were uncomfortable with the touching in the wedding scene, you might want to skip this part

* * *

I hoarsely shout her name once, twice, three times. I call out to a god I know not, and release a sated groan into the side of her neck. I lose my strength for a moment as I crumple against her. I feel her fingers curl possessively into my hair. I feel her erratic heart beat against my own, already beginning to slow into a calmer strum. I relish hearing the satisfied, feminine purr in her throat.

I will never forget the precious gift bestowed upon me of the silky softness of her body against the hard planes of mine.

We'd somehow miraculously made our way to her bedroom after the heated kisses on the porch. I felt no reticence from her, only desire. I recall the feel of her hand in mine, insistently pulling me to follow her. I knew then that I would follow her anywhere, even into the depths of hell.

Before long, her heady, musky scent filled my senses. Not just buttercups, but all that is wild about Leah crept into my very being, holding me hostage, helpless to fight against her every unspoken and spoken command. Her hands roamed my body and I, too, couldn't keep from learning hers. Even though we hadn't even begun to peel the layers of clothing off of each other, the heat of our kisses had me thinking somewhere in the back of my brain:

_Holy sh*t! They weren't kidding about makeup sex!_

Touches became more daring. Hands strayed to explore places we'd had yet to discover. Her feelings for me, and mine for her, found definition in every caress.

Admiration.

Adoration.

Love?

Our entrance into into the age old dance between woman and man was unplanned, unrehearsed, and _unbelievable_. Soon everything was stripped away, allowing us to bare the very essence of ourselves to one another, raw in our breathtaking need and desire to become one.

This was so much more than simply satisfying.

It was stunning.

It was spectacular.

It was… indescribable.

Now, worried about my full weight pressing down on her, I shift, attempting to prop myself up on my elbows. She makes an unhappy grumbling noise beneath me and I feel her arms and legs pull me still closer, keeping our bodies intimately joined. I gasp at the incredible feel of Leah all around me. My heart melts as I feel her satisfied smile and the nip of her teeth against my collarbone.

I'd come to her house, armed only with hope, unsure I'd gain entrance. She held my heart in her hands, but just as I was sure she'd throw it at me and break it all over again, she, surprisingly, bid me welcome back into her life with a kiss that spoke volumes.

I'd entered her room convinced I couldn't possibly be her first, and had been shocked to feel the barrier inside that informed me otherwise.

I stopped immediately. I wouldn't take this moment for granted. After this, she would be mine, _always_. So, even at a moment so tense, so full of anticipation, I stopped. I needed to make sure that this was _her_ choice. _Her_ want. _Her_ desire.

At our eyes meeting, I saw that she knew the reason for my hesitation. Yet again, I needed an invitation to enter into her life.

"Please, Embry, don't stop, she whispered. "I want it to be you. Just you."

She moved against me then, and I couldn't refuse her plea. I tried gentle, but she wouldn't have it. The pace was all Leah. And it _was_ stunningly spectacular.

And now, in the dying sunlight, I can't stop taking in the sight of her, her hair spread out against the pillow. Her lips, red and plump, looking thoroughly kissed. My heart is near bursting and the cheshire grin still hasn't left my mouth since I heard her cry my name during her own release.

This feeling of complete, unmitigated joy is completely foreign to me. I wonder at it, basking in the glory of it.

Sex I have had, but _never_ like _this_.

And then it occurs to me why. Why it is so different between us.

It was my first time, too, because never before have I ever made love.

"Are you ok, Leah?" I ask quietly. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She shakes her head against my shoulder, dropping a kiss against my neck. I can't get enough of watching her in the aftermath of our lovemaking. She is bliss personified and I know I reflect her look of complete satiation.

"Is it always like that?" she asks shyly.

"Only with you," I say quietly, honestly.

I feel her smile against my chest. Her curves and softness envelop me. I feel myself stirring.

"Again," she demands as her hands move against the contours of my body. I want to whine with my need for her. Instead, I shake my head, knowing that what we've already just done will cause her pain in the morning, if not already.

"Again," she says against my lips, kissing me hungrily.

_Dammit, _I think._ I've awoken a beast._

"Please, Embry, again." Her husky demand, in turn, fully awakens the beast in me. So, of course, I gladly oblige, gathering her up into a gentle embrace, and moving to begin the dance again.

_Who am I, after all, to say no to the command of my pack's alpha female?_

* * *

**_A phone call from home  
POV: Leah_**

* You can resume reading if you had to skip that last part.

* * *

I've stolen five days of absolute ecstasy, the euphoria of it blunted only by the awful knowing that every new dawn brings me closer to breaking his heart all over again..

Each morning, I think, _tonight I'll tell Embry about Stefan and the baby thing_.

Every night, he holds me in his arms, wrapped around me, and when I finally close my eyes to join him in sleep, I think selfishly, _just one more day, one more day like this with him, then I'll tell him._

Ignorance must certainly be bliss, it seems, because Embry is perfectly content talking about a future that I can not share joy in. Knowing of the impending end increases my dread at the thought of revealing the truth to him. I wake each day with the knowledge that I am moving toward one less moment of having him in my life

By the fifth day, I think that I've lost my mind, twisted it irreparably with my non-stop guilt and over analyzing. I fret, knowing that I've broken the cosmic circle of things by not following the stupid legend's timeline. I've even half-convinced myself that I've already screwed up the cosmic plan that would guarantee ending up with Embry.

I heedlessly ignored Chenoa. I'm not _supposed_ to be with Embry, like _this_. Not yet. In a cold sweat, with the sheets twisted around me, I wake believing it's over, that I've lost him forever by not being strong enough to say no to pilfering these precious days with him. In my nightmare I watch him leave me again, as he did the night of the wedding, disgusted with my choice, with my silence. Thankfully, my startled movements do not wake him, but in even his slumber, he pulls me closer as if sensing my distress.

This morning, Thursday, I watch him in his grey flannel pajama pants, slung low on his trim hips. My gaze rakes up his bare, sculpted torso as he pulls on the goGreen. I smile as he scratches himself, making his way to the bathroom. I've been letting him wear the shirt around the house, knowing it will capture his scent, one I fear I won't be able to be near for a long time after this - possibly never. Bella knows what we're doing, I think, but she's remained closed-lipped about it. I do not relish Sunday night when I will be alone with her.

I hear my cellphone buzzing, surprised to be getting a call. Worried that something is wrong on the plans for the fashion show I accept the call from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Leah, it's Stefan."

_Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! _

I cast a wary glance toward my open bedroom door, making sure that the bathroom door across the hall is still closed.

"Oh, hi!" I say, as cheerily as I can muster.

"You sound… _different_," he says thoughtfully, an amused note in his voice. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Nickel for your kiss?" I answer, it's our secret code for allowing him to read my mind. I go straight to the last line, skipping this nickel mark if I don't want him in my brain.

"A dime if you tell me that you love me," he says absently and then I can feel the weight of him in my head. I clench my teeth as I feel him sort through me. I don't balk, though, because I'd rather him read it all than have to say it.

And then he is gone.

"Oh,_ hi_, indeed," he says with a knowing, sultry chuckle. "_Someone's_ been having a lovely holiday." I can almost hear the twinkle in his eye. I'm sure he felt my supreme satisfaction, and the slight embarrassment at being caught with my pants down, so to speak.

"You're not mad?" I ask incredulously.

"Of course not, Leah. Why should I be?"

_Huh, OK_.

I sit down heavily on my bed, relieved, but still confused.

"It was bound to happen, of course," he says sagely. "This is yours, Leah. To give of yourself the first time, this must be _your_ choice, not fate's dictate. Just tell me, are you as happy as you seem?"

"Deliriously," I say breathlessly, with a wide smile, so thankful to finally have someone to share this secret with.

"Good," he replies genuinely. "You deserve this, and every other happiness, for the generosity you are showing me."

My heart stops cold.

_He's still going to hold me to my promise?_

_He's still going to hold me to my promise?!_

"Stefan, I c-c-can't-"

The door to the bathroom swings open suddenly and I see Embry look up to find me sitting on the edge of the bed. A towel is slung over his shoulders. His relaxed smile and silently mouthed, "Good morning, Buttercup," touches my heart.

Flustered, I quickly say into the phone, "-can't talk right now. Call me back later, okay?!"

I hear Stefan's smile in his voice as he leaves me with a cryptic message, "Of course, Leah. There's much for you to hear."

* * *

**_Before Goodbye...  
POV: Leah_**

* * *

We'd spent the week together, reacquainting ourselves with each other. I spent one night at the hotel they put him up in, under the guise of being his cousin. I went to his awards ceremony where I clapped and beamed proudly. He came to the studio and had me model my creations for him. We went to a spring carnival where he won me a stuffed dog, and where I won him an even bigger stuffed dog. We had a picnic on the shoreline, two-hours away from my place, near the port where I'd learned he'd be working during part of this summer. We packed all the joys we might have spent together during the three and a half months we'd been apart into six and a half days.

We know each other now in ways we hadn't even imagined possible when I first landed myself in New Hampshire and Jake handed Embry's first letter to me.

So if I've learned anything through this, it's that everything happens for a reason. Without our recent past, both the good and the bad, we would never have had this precious week together.

The moonlight glows in my room now, bringing Saturday to a close. I turn on my pillow to gaze at him in his sleep. His mouth his slack, his dark hair tousled. The stubble at his jaw, just beginning to appear again. He looks at peace and the sound of his small snore, restores my sense of him as ultimately human, with a heart set solely on me. I feel a tear trickle down the side of my face, the wetness captured by the pillow that cradles my head. I reach out to touch his strong cheekbones. I brush the fringe of hair that settles along his brow. My finger follows the pulse of the vein at his neck, across his strong shoulders. I take measure of the lean muscle of his arm. Where my fingers go, my lips follow. I caress his every angle, touch every place that I might have missed this week. I adore this boy, hidden beneath this body of a man. I do not want the fates to decide my future with him.

He slowly swims to consciousness, a smile playing on his lips as I continue the journey of mapping his body, burning the topography of him into my memory. A memory that I must form slowly and carefully so I can revisit him in my dreams when he will be gone from me again. I adjust to sit astride him. I shut my eyes as I run my hands against him, feeling every contour, listening greedily to his pleased sighs.

"Memorizing me?" he whispers playfully, while toying with the ends of my hair.

A deep, keening sadness constricts my throat and I can only nod. He places a hand against my face, pulling me down for a kiss.

We move into the now familiar pattern of our love making. It steals my breath, my heart, and my soul away.

We leap off the cliff together and come up for air to find ourselves again in each other's arms.

As our hearts move from thunderous roar to gentle patter, I feel the gentle glide of his lips at my ear.

"Why did that feel like _goodbye_, Leah?"

My back is to him, now. I close my eyes knowing I've let it go on too long. I gulp, a tear escapes, but he doesn't see.

"Because it _is_ Embry," I whisper, kissing his fingers, intertwined with mine.

"Don't be silly, weregirl, I'm just going back to LaPush. I'm still here for you, Buttercup. Always," he says, yawning against my naked shoulder, innocent to the hurt I'll be handing him all too soon. So long in denying the dreadful truth, I finally let myself think about the reality I will soon enter. I know he won't forgive me for my silence this time. I know it. The deadline I've pushed back every day finally looms. Unable to sleep, I stay up until dawn, silently practicing the words I will say to him before he leaves me again tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------

_**Author's note**: I've been struggling with this chapter, not sure who Leah was going to have her first time with. The struggle continued, of course, because I'm self-conscious about writing the steamier parts... the attempt was painstaking. Many thanks to Kei Kat for her insights, which I've interwoven into the story. JoeBob, I hope that the warnings were sufficient and that the parts that might be considered M were not offensive if you accidentally read them. Thanks all again for your thoughtful reviews and insights, it's been extremely helpful with plot development. I see the end soon and it looks like we'll get close to 40 chapters… I didn't expect my little Leah two-shot to go on for so long! _

_Again, happy reading!_


	34. Secrets

**Chapter 34: Secrets**

_Chapter note: Lots of information here to clarify story facts._

* * *

**Don't Ask, Don't Tell  
_POV: Leah_**

_

* * *

_

As the room begins to turn pink with the dawning sun, and I am about to fall asleep at last, I hear the buzzing of my vibrating cell phone to my left. I cast a weary glance at it and see the text message.

_L-_

_He need not know, yet, about your decision. _

_Worry, not. -S_

I quickly erase the evidence of the text before my eyelids drift shut and I fall into a fitful sleep, pondering why Stefan wants to keep my choice of him and the baby secret from Embry.

* * *

**_Later…_**

* * *

I decide to trust Stefan. I am also a selfish coward. If I can prolong my time with Embry, and it's not going to screw up the happily-ever-after ending that his mother insists we'll have, I don't see the harm in it. I'm not doing it behind Stefan's back, in fact, I'm doing it with his approval.

_Why, then, do I feel so dishonest?_

I watch Embry ride away in the blue airport shuttle. We'd woken up together, had brunch at a diner on a nearby high street, and then decided to call him the shuttle so we could spend the rest of the time together at my place since Bella was back at the Dartmouth library.

When we'd gotten home, we went for a quick run and settled to stretch in a clearing that was bursting with the colors of spring. We lay down in the flowers and just enjoyed the last few hours being outside together.

"What are you thinking?" Embry asks, laying beside where I was stretching my legs.

"Honestly? You really don't want to know," I reply evasively, turning my head away, following the carefree fluttering of a pink butterfly among the blossoms.

He runs a hand down my neck, I react instantly to his touch, wanting only to ravish him, but refrain, knowing it will only hurt more when he goes.

"Of course I do, Leah. I always want to know."

I hesitate, consider lying, and then realize I really should stop with the whole being untruthful to him thing. I shake my head. No good can come from telling the truth now, but I attempt to, anyway.

"If you really want to know, Embry, I'm wondering how soon you're going to imprint after you leave me today."

I feel him draw his hand away with a frustrated huff. I'm saddened by the loss of his touch.

"Are you still really worried that _I'll_ imprint?" he asks, nearly glaring.

_See?! I knew this truth-telling stuff was a bad idea!_

"Yes, I am," I say, maintaining my stance with a stubborn, upraised chin. "Let's not talk about it, OK? Let's not fight before you go."

"Actually, I think we _should_ talk about it, Leah," he persists stubbornly. "I want to know how _you're_ going to deal with _your_ imprint now, after everything this week."

I can't seem to answer. The silence is deafening. We'd been avoiding _this_ conversation. I know what I should say, but I can't meet his eyes and speak the words.

"You know, Embry I have a way to wiggle out of my imprinting. It's not going to be an _easy_ way, but it's a way," I say quietly, knowing he fully understands what's expected of me in this thing. "I'm just worried that as soon as I'm free of Stefan, you won't be free for me. I see how you feel about my imprinting, Embry. I already know what it feels like to be on your side of the divide. It sucks royally. I don't want to go there _ever_ again. I don't even like _this_ side! "

"Are you still seriously considering going through with this whole stupid breaking the curse thing, Leah?" I hear the anger building in his tone. At my silence and inability to meet his gaze, he is shaking with frustration when he says, "A baby? Leah!?! You can't be a mother!"

"It seems like the only way I can be free of him," I say quietly. His harshly spoken words breaking into my consciousness in a way that hurts. . "And I _want_ to be a mother, remember?…. I really _want_ that."

My words do little to halt his ascent from fury to hurt.

"But you don't have to have _his_ baby!" he roars so loudly that I jump. "How do you know that what he claims is even true? Why don't you just _try_ to forget him, Leah? He's out there in Washington anyway. He's working his way up and down the coastal tribal lands. He won't be back here anytime soon. Won't you just try to forget about him?" His voice is anguished.

I grab hold of his hands at his show of emotion.

"OK! OK! Please, Embry, calm down. I'll try… I'll try to forget," I say earnestly, honestly believing that I will try, for him. All the while, hoping Stefan wasn't messing up my future with Embry by allowing me this indulgence.

Satisfied, we stand and make our way back to the house to await the shuttle.

* * *

**Findings revealed  
**_**Earlier in the day... back in LaPush.**_

_**POV: Jake**_

* * *

"Hey, Stefan," I say, greeting the man I'd asked to meet me at his dig site.

"Jacob," he says with an extended hand. I take it and shake, no longer surprised at the twin heat that meets my palm.

"I came to ask you a few things, among them, a favor," I say, cutting to the chase.

He nods, his gaze is steady on me as he sits down and offers me the other camping chair. We look out onto the forest below. He hands me a cup of coffee and, gratefully, I take it, if only to keep my hands occupied during what I'm sure will be an awkward conversation.

"So, Leah's been keeping me up to date and it seems like she's got it in her head that you're the victim of a witch's curse. From what I've been able to piece together, and what she's come up with, it seems like you've led a pretty miserable existence. So now, Leah tells me she believes it'll take her giving birth to _your_ baby to break the curse. This is just crazy talk, right?" I say this all in nearly one breath, hoping against hope that he'll laugh at the absurdity along with me.

I watch him take a long sip of his coffee. Still staring into the horizon.

"You are aware then, Jacob, of the existence of my kind in the world?" he says, his voice carried away by the wind.

I nod, perplexed. He continues, sparing me a glance.

"As for me, I know you are a werewolf. I know you denied your ancestral legacy and refused your role as alpha male of your pack. In an effort to win your chosen human mate, Bella, you fought against, and amongst, vampires, our sworn enemy. Regardless, you've imprinted on my sister," he sighs and offers me a tight smile, "I suppose your favor has something to do with Felicia?"

I stare at him, somewhat surprised at his accumulation of facts regarding _my_ history. Thanks to Edward's research of Stefan, however, I know that this shifter's smarts are centuries in the making. So, I nod in affirmation of the truth he's discovered about me.

"Jacob, you and I know that monsters exist in this world. You and I are living proof that there is truth to the old myths. Some of us believe we are more than our animal selves, believing, as humans do in religion, that we are in possession of both heart and soul. Some of us are so tortured by our own existence that we hold on to the hope that somewhere within us lies a humanity that will salvage our soul in the afterlife, despite the fact that we are bred to be cold-blooded killers."

He pauses. I continue to stare out onto the green expanse, waiting.

"Jacob, I've lived a long time," at this he grimaces. "I've seen many monsters."

His tone leaves me, a hot-blooded werewolf, ice-cold.

"What the hell are you talking about, Stefan?" I ask, frightened, confused.

"There are _other_ beings, humans would label them _monsters_, fearsome creatures that are being born now - a _new_ kind of monster, a brand new kind of prey for us. All of my research points to this being the _real_ reason why Elisheva, in her anger, did what she did to me. She was going to do this to me eventually, I suppose, but perhaps not with such malicious intent."

I look at him, further alarmed. "Who is Elisheva?"

"She's my mate, like your Bella, I chose her, she is not my imprint. _My_ witch, Elisheva, is the woman who cursed me, Jacob. But she loved me, and I her," he explains with emotion. "She was a trusted friend to both werewolf and shifter communities. My father, after she'd taken leave of us and left Felicia and me to wander for eternity, told me of her great power as a seer. She could not see all, but she saw enough of what was to come. She knew that my kind and your kind would eventually have to mate in order to birth powerful children who would be equipped to fight the coming of new monsters, the very monsters that are evolving in their vast powers as we speak."

"You mean more vampires!?" I ask, now completely sucked into his story.

"Worse, Jacob, worse."

I shudder at the thought of what could _possibly_ be worse than vampires.

Elisheva must have known of the near extinction that was to come to your ancestors, the Childern of the Moon. She likely would have also known how long it would take for new female alphas to be born to the last remaining packs. She was probably going to prolong my life so I could find a mate who would help me give birth to a new kind of predator. While she made me wait for the evolution of this new female, which took hundred of years, by the way, since the genocide of your kind, Elisheva tortured me through this ridiculous curse. Punish me with impotence until I'd found the _right_ mate.

At this point he sounds like he's thinking aloud to himself, finally piecing together the puzzle that had eluded him over the millennium.

"I think she hoped that she could somehow be reincarnated as one of you," he says, now looking at me,"But, I don't think that happened, because here I am , enthralled by Leah. In any case, all that Elisheva's already put me through is but a mere kick in the shins compared to what she's asking of me now." He shivers a little at the thought of his past. "The act of breaking this curse," he says with trepidation, "the _actual_ action required of me to be released, well, it is absolutely the brain child of an insanely furious woman.

"So, this whole thing with you and Leah… it _isn't_ made up?" I soft pedal backwards.

"Jacob, very little about our world is made up." His reply is curt, his green eyes bore into mine. I sniff and nod my agreement.

"Leah is your pack's alpha female," he stares at me as though this statement should mean _something_ to me.

_I didn't even know there were female werewolves, much less alpha females._

At my blank look he asks, "What do you know of wolf packs and how they behave?"

"I really don't have the slightest clue," I admit, feeling like I should be somehow ashamed of my ignorance.

"In wolf societies, there is an alpha _pair_, a male and a female, they usually mate for life, and are the only ones in the pack who reproduce."

"But we're not little wolves, Stefan, we're _werewolves_." I say, exasperated._ This is ludicrous!_

He raises his eyebrow at me before saying, "When we shift into animal form there is very little, besides our size and blood thirst for our particular quarry, that differentiates us from our animal brethren."

I nod, knowing the truth of this, having felt this for myself before.

"In any case, the alpha pair have definite responsibilities in maintaining order in their pack. The alpha male is usually the only male to breed and it is his job to make sure that no other males attempt to breed with the alpha female," Stefan explains, patiently. One of his hands moves in the air to indicate hierarchy. "The alpha female is also usually the only female to breed. Her most important responsibility is choosing a den site, but she also shares the responsibilities of the male. Since she controls mating in the pack, her actions determine its future genetic makeup."

"What does that have to do with us in LaPush?" I ask, now curious.

"Judging from my observations, your pack is weakened by Sam's choice of alpha female."

It hits me that perhaps the fault doesn't lie at Sam's feet alone. After all, I declined the alpha role and only then, when I'd refused the role outright, was I able to push aside my strong, initial attraction to Leah. This was a secret no one but Sam and Leah knew about. One she keeps teasing me about, and one Sam still holds against me.

I gasp at the sudden realization that before I'd first phased, Sam was only unofficial alpha. The timing seemed just coincidental then, but now, it seems clear that once every indication pointed to my eventual phasing, Sam had imprinted on Emily and broken it off with Leah. He'd given up Leah because he probably trusted his instincts, believing that once I finally turned and accepted the alpha role, I'd take up with Leah, our pack's alpha female. Instead, I fell in love with Bella, and because of my actions, Sam was thrown back into the leadership role with Emily as his mate, leaving Leah odd one out.

_Oh, Crap!_

I cradle my head in my hands, resisting the urge to rock back and forth.

_This was insanity!_

"-and despite being left alone while you all were finding your mates, Leah continued her job as alpha female. Though she might not realize it, her instincts are still in working order. She left LaPush to fulfill her alpha responsibility of finding a suitable den site," he continues.

_Damn! I'd forgotten Stefan could read my mind! _This time, though, since he isn't Edward, I'm not really bothered.

"But Leah had started something up with Embry _before_ she left," I protest.

"Much to the anger of your _current_ Alpha, if you'll recall," Stefan looks at me sideways. "And, more importantly, you might be surprised to know that Embry isn't a LaPush werewolf. This might explain the continued animosity between Embry and Sam."

I whip my head around to stare at Stefan, "What did you say?" My mind is reeling at the revelation that none of our fathers, neither Sam's, Quil's, nor mine cheated on our mothers.

"He's _not_ a LaPush werewolf. He is from the Makah pack," Stefan looks as though he has more to say, but I stop him with a staying hand.

"There aren't werewolves among the Makah!" I guffaw.

"Funny how they believe the same about the Quileute," Stefan smiles knowingly at me. "Your pack is not the only one that knows how to keep secrets, Jacob. It makes sense to have werewolves wherever there might be vampires, wouldn't you agree?"

I nod reluctantly at the sensibility of his statement.

"-besides, Jacob, Embry is part shifter."

I gasp, rendered speechless.

"I spoke to Chenoa Call, and she confirmed my findings," Stefan reveals.

"If Embry had stayed on _his_ land, due to his father's ancestry, he'd have been alpha of the Makah pack." He touches the rim of his cup to his lips before continuing, "In starting her relationship with Embry, Leah was also carrying on in fulfilling her responsibilities as alpha female."

I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"Since she controls mating in the pack," Stefan repeats his earlier explanation, "her actions determine the future of its genetic makeup."

"-So because of these new monsters you're talking about, Leah's instincts are telling her to look for a stronger alpha male than the ones in LaPush? Which means…" I stop a moment to think, "Leah would be instinctually looking for a shifter to evolve the pack... and Embry _is_ part shifter."

"You're keeping up," Stefan says with some admiration,"and Embry would have fit the bill, if she hadn't left Washington."

"But she _did _leave, and that's when she met _you_, a true shifter," I finish for him, ignoring the obvious fact that even if Leah hadn't left, Stefan would have come here anyway and discovered Leah among us.

He nods. "And now you know why Leah must have my child," he says quietly, forgetting the beauty of the forest for a moment. His eyes stare unblinking at me, "So, now you know, Jacob, what I haven't yet told my sister. What's between Leah and me, it's bigger than just breaking my curse. It's about the preservation of your pack and the continuance of your roles as guardians of the human race. Without our mating, your pack will weaken, and be unable to fight against the coming of more monstrous creatures."

"So why can't she just have a baby with Embry?" I ask, the feeling of curiosity beating shell-shocked for a moment.

"The influx of Embry's genetics into your pack would be helpful for the short-term," his answer, is clinical, non-emotional. "My genetics, because they are not mixed with werewolf will be more potent, ensuring not only your survival, but the evolution of your species to become stronger, better able to fight those that are to come. There are shifters now in the Makah and other reservations who are beginning their thralls."

I look at him, telling him with my mind that this is not _exactly_ the sort of answer I'd hoped to get from him.

"You do know that Embry is with Leah now?" I ask. He nods, yes. "Well, if you're alpha, why aren't you doing your job and stopping them from being together?"

"She can't breed yet," he says, with a shrug. "There's no reason for me to intervene."

"But what about Leah _and_ Embry?" I prompt out loud.

"Leah can choose between Embry or me," Stefan says softly. "It is, after all, a cross-species imprint."

"Cross-species?" I ask.

"I'm shifter. She's werewolf, therefore, either one of us can decide against mating. And she hasn't imprinted on Embry."

I sit stunned at this development. _This_ must be the part of the notes from France that Edward tore off! I start to feel a familiar tingle of anger at the base of my spine.

_All this time, that bastard leech! I could have CHOSEN not to be imprinted on Felicia? Wait until I get my hands on his pretty-boy face! I am going to kill Edward!_

I glance at Stefan who seems interested in my emotional state, his eyebrows furrowed at my agitation.

_Focus, Jake!_ I give myself an internal shout and shake, trying to find calm. Suddenly, I feel a flow of peace wash over me. I notice that Stefan continues to look my way, but he isn't looking at me. He seems very far away, concentrating on something. It occurs to me that he is also a mood-changer.

_Interesting, very handy power._

"Thanks," I say.

He shrugs at me, almost sheepishly.

"So, you're going to let Leah decide your fate... _and_ the LaPush pack's fate!?" I ask, now that I am calm I can concentrate on his stupidity. _Was he nuts? _"What if she decides she's _not_ going to do this with you? Have your baby and all?"

"There is no other way," he says dejectedly. "I haven't found a loophole to _make_ her do this with me, regardless, I doubt I could force her should it come down to that. She has a mind of her own, that one. I myself can not decide against the imprint. I want Leah very, very much," he finishes off his coffee. I try not to think about how his last sentiment affects me.

"So you're going to let Leah and Embry continue on, fall in love… the whole shebang?" I ask almost angrily, "Then, what, Stefan?! You're going to dump all of this on her right when she discovers she desires a future with Embry?"

"What else can I do?" he asks, his hands held up helplessly. "I want her to be happy while she can. I want her to experience love this way. She does love him, you do realize that? I can only hope she chooses me. I've told Embry as much. I warned him that I'm not going down without an attempt to win her. She's already half-promised she would."

I do a double-take.

"You said it yourself, Jacob, when you first sat down. You said, 'Leah tells me she believes it'll take her giving birth to _your_ baby to break the curse.' She's told me she'd do this for me. I'm hoping that this new information will solidify her choice in the matter," he looks at me earnestly. "I'm hoping Leah will feel honor bound to fulfill her promise, because when it all comes down to love or duty, Jacob, the kind of duty that will preserve _all_ that you know and love, which would you choose?"

_Shit. _

_Poor Leah._

_Ugh._

_Poor Embry._

"Don't despair for her, Jacob," Stefan says, adding more surprisingly empty coffee cup.

"She's been through so much already," I sigh worriedly, running my hand up and down the warm steel of the mug.

"Yes, but she is strong. If she wasn't, I would never have imprinted on her," he says, suddenly reinvigorated. "I'll help make Leah stronger, ready for her life as a mother of our child. And even if it kills me, Jacob, I will make sure she gets Embry and everything else that she's ever wished for in the end. I will love her well. I do promise you that."

"Should I tell Embry?" I ask.

"I don't know," he says. "It seems we should leave it up to Leah to decide."

I slump in my chair, gulping down the rest of my coffee. It's a lot to take in at once. I stare off into the distance, forgetting the favor I was going to ask Stefan… for now.


	35. In the Name of Love

**College, Junior Year…  
_POV: Leah_**

* * *

It's been highly educational, watching Jake avoid Felicia like the plague after all these years. Laudable of him, in fact, to try to break the imprint between them since she's a living, breathing centerfold who doesn't bother to hide that she's lusting after him. Considering all of this, I still have no idea why Jake's so set on Bella, but who am I to talk, really? I still want Embry even though I have said centerfold's equally fine-looking twin brother lusting after _me._

Anyway, Jake hasn't been around to visit Bella, which prompts Bella to regularly make her way to him back in LaPush during our breaks, which I think is a relief for her, too. She's still not talking to Felicia since the incident on the porch. I don't blame her. And Felicia really needs to stop calling Bella, Izzy. It's highly irritating. Anyway, when Bella's gone, Stefan's usually around, or Embry. Sometimes our school breaks don't coincide. Then, I'm alone and I don't question how Stefan knows when I'll be by myself. I don't ask.

The primal desire I have for Stefan hasn't gone away, and has, perhaps, grown even stronger with him being gone most of the time. His daily absence, however, certainly does make it easier for me to forget what's to eventually come.

And to forget is what I try to do, just as I promised Embry in the spring of my freshman year.

I've been in active denial of my imprint for nearly three years now. Embry and I have been together for most of it, albeit kept apart by a continent. There has been relatively little strife between Embry and me. Probably the worse of it was when he was denied entry to some of the East Coast schools for his pursuit of his environmental engineering degree. He ended up going to UW, hoping to transfer to Stanford University, or U.C. Berkeley, for his last two years, mountainous, wooded areas being one of the main concerns since he still enjoys running like a wolf. I'd been particularly upset that he'd decided against trying the East Coast schools again.

Stefan's known about my relationship with Embry, even cheers it on. Stefan's behavior leaves me slightly confused, I suppose another few years of celibacy is nothing considering it's already been hundreds of years living like a eunuch. He acts more like a best guy friend than future father of my child. Stefan and I keep up regular correspondence. We e-mail and are on the phone. No handwritten letters. Mostly, we talk about my life. He's become a close and valued confidante. Often he gives me sage advice when Embry and I get into little snits, usually he's the first I call when I don't want Embry or Jake to know what's going on, he's also the one I turn to most for a guy's perspective on things.

Embry knows of our steadily growing friendship. I don't hide it from him. Though he doesn't say much, I know it bothers him.

_A lot._

"Penny for your thoughts?" Stefan asked one day last year while I'd been agitated, pacing around the house during winter break sophomore year. He'd been out to visit from his latest dig south of our reservation. I'm still confused about what he does exactly, but frankly, I really don't care. I know he keeps a place close to LaPush, seeming to have found something especially useful in his research close to the Quileute reservation.

"A dime if you tell me that you love me," I'd answered with a pout, using our secret code to deny him access to my brain. "You don't have to infiltrate my head this time, Stefan. I'll just tell you. I'm not happy that Embry won't listen to me about re-applying to SUNY College of Environmental Science & Forestry."

"Why are you so upset about that, Leah?"

"It's the best school for what he wants to do, that's why!"

"And it's also the best college for what he wants to do that is currently closest to where you are," he says, pointing to a fact I knew very well.

"So?" I ask belligerently. "I think he's just scared. Just because they denied him once, doesn't mean they won't accept him _this_ time!"

"And, you don't think _someone," _he looks at me with an arched brow_,_ "is being just a little bit selfish, here? Have you considered why Embry doesn't want to apply there again?"

_Well, no, not really,_ I think. My pout deepens.

_So_, _maybe cat-boy has a point._

"I'm just telling you what I see, Leah," Stefan shrugs, handing me half of the sandwich he'd been preparing during our little tete-a-tete.

"Yeah," I huff, "And _you're_ not being just a little bit self-serving in trying to keep him and me apart?"

"No, there's no reason for me to get in the middle of what you have with Embry since you and I already have an understanding," he says, taking a bite of his lunch. "I'm glad you're happy with Embry, but remember, you should be happy when he's happy, too. Is he happy?"

"What is it with you and happiness?" I ask, exasperated. "That's all you ask me about!"

"Your happiness is important to me," he says, gesturing at my uneaten sandwich urging me to eat. "There's so little happiness in my life, I have to experience it vicariously through you."

I shake my head at him, "That means you're leading a pretty miserable life, Stefan."

He chuckles.

"As of late, you've been pretty happy. Besides, isn't it happiness that makes the world go 'round?" Stefan asks, giving me a silly smile.

"No, that's love," I correct him with a smile of my own, sitting next to him and nudging his shoulder, and finally settling in to enjoy my sandwich.

"Oh, yes, that's right! It's love that makes the world go 'round!!" he announces with a grin. "And what a ride _that's_ been!"

**

* * *

The Things We Do for Love  
POV: Stefan

* * *

**

How he discovered I possessed _this_ particular power, I can only fathom a guess. Likely, it was through Leah and her wonderment at how Felicia had once tamed the beast within her… or, perhaps, Jacob discovered my peculiar trait in his research of me led by the blood thief, known as Edward to Bella.

I'd initially refused to grant the favor Jacob asked of me. I told him that it was unnecessary to go to such lengths to rid himself of Felicia. After all, as her brother, I had the power to revoke the imprint between them with only a spoken word. But, Jacob did not want my help in this way, he wanted something more _permanent._

He'd asked each day for the duration of six months.

_Six months! _

_Blasted, persistent wolf!_

And each day, I refused his request. I refused because I knew Jacob had no concept of what he was asking me to endure. Jacob had no idea the sort of hell he was asking me to put us _both_ through.

He had no idea what he would sacrifice and what he would, in turn, offer to me if I should grant him his wish. But I finally capitulated, because of love.

To be specific, for the love of a woman.

I suppose it would be fair to consider me a romantic because of this. I suppose I am. But right along with that, I should also be considered a glutton for punishment, even though I am decidedly neither masochist, nor sadist.

I agreed to grant Jacob the favor he asked of me because of _his_ love for Bella, his chosen human mate. The woman he loves. I'm also doing this for Leah, because Jacob promises to help keep Embry sane through what is destined to be a most disturbing point in his and Leah's life. I also know, without informing Jacob, that in doing him this favor, the child Leah and I have will retain full-blooded LaPush werewolf traits from both parents, without having to give up the much needed injection of full-blooded shifter qualities to evolve the pack.

Once I'd reluctantly agreed, I was immediately horrified, regretting my words almost as soon as they'd been spoken. I'd begged Jacob to reconsider. When he refused I told him there would come a point during this process of transformation when he would not be able to withstand the torment brought onto him by my hands. When that time came, when he wanted to curse me to kingdom come, I made him swear to remember that from the very beginning, I had refused, and still continue to be strongly opposed to granting him this favor.

He, of course, ignorant to all that was to come, nodded his ready assent.

And, so, here I am, screaming in unbearable pain.

Again.

Here I am feeling his prone body beneath my hands, his torso writhing against my palms, feeling the muscles in his body tauten and release in a sickening tempo, and watching his face contort as he absorbs the mirror image of my torment.

Again.

We've been doing this every week - again, and again, and again.

Two and a half years.

Once a week.

Absolute agony.

Agony beyond words.

All for love.

And at the end of each session, I beg him to reconsider, to please make this the last time I grant him this torturous favor.

But each time he refuses, and in a hoarse, pained whisper makes me promise upon my honor to meet him again in the middle of the LaPush hunting grounds for another excruciating session in which I relieve him of a part of himself, a part that will ultimately become part of me.

Jacob no longer wants to be a werewolf. He wants me to remove this part of him, ridding himself of any future imprint beyond Felicia. He wants me to take his werewolf characteristics out of him and unto myself, thereby putting an end to Bella's unspoken concern about a possible imprint who might one day take him away from her forever.

Supernatural surgery, he calls it.

As for me, the horror of being this surgeon, putting my hands on Jacob with the intent to absorb his ability to phase into his werewolf form, is proving to be ten-fold the horrendous and frightening experience Jacob experienced as a teen when he first became aware of his werewolf self.

My body, currently only able to mimic the creatures I'd overcome or killed throughout my lifetime, has never undergone the rigors of taking on the traits of another magical being. I'm untrained for this duty, unlike my father and Felicia had undergone.

I'd witnessed my father perform the task Jacob asks of me on previous Children of the Moon who refused their magical forms. I, however, had never performed the removal ritual myself, mostly out of fear since I watched my father's struggle through the task, and as his healer, I was also made to stay with him in the aftermath, which was often times worse than the actual task.

In contrast, I've witnessed Felicia absorb magical abilities many times. She now can take on the tiniest form of a pixie and the larger, more mystical form of a centaur. Felicia is quite swift and exceptional in her removal abilities. There is very little kickback for her. For Felicia it is easier, because she is female, more powerful than any male, including my father.

For Father, it took many moons to accomplish the removal of werewolf traits to leave only human. As for me, judging from my current state, it seems it will take me even longer than _that_. After my first session with Jacob, I was a weakened shell of myself for nearly five full days. It hadn't gotten any better, so I'd shortened the amount of time per session, just to be able to function fairly normally the days following. Without a healer of my own, this would take and inordinately long time.

And now after two and a half years of these sessions with Jake, there is now an inextinguishable heat within me, our dual magic combining - to flow through one being - that one body being mine. The pain is excruciating and the mental anguish of this is indescribable.

He is an alpha male, I don't know why it didn't occur to me before agreeing to this madness, how near impossible this would be.

I knew it would be difficult.

I, however, never imagined _this_.

I don't know how my father accomplished the task with his sanity and strength intact.

While I know my physical strength is slowly increasing, I worry about my mental fortitude. I am without a healer of my own.

But, I cannot tell a soul about this.

As promised...

this is just between Jake and me.

**

* * *

Stefan's Visit… Senior Year, Spring Break  
POV: Leah**

**

* * *

**

I'm relaxing on the front porch. It's spring break, senior year. Embry just left four days ago after a prolonged visit from Stanford University, in California. I'd been resentful of his choice, but since he'd won scholarships from that school, I can't really begrudge him for going to such a prestigious place.

Anyway, I've been indulging in a full body stretch, a receding pleasant ache still fills my body from the amount of extra curricular activities we'd participated in during his stay. I already miss him. His visits, because of his rigorous academic program are far and few between.

Four days he was here and we'd barely moved from my bed. He's pretty rigorous in other aspects of his life, too. I smile at the memory of him.

"It's working, Leah," he whispered against my neck.

"What's working?" I ask, gasping at the touch of his fingertips against me. I feel him smile into my cheek. It never fails. He can still arouse me just like our first time together.

"You've forgotten him, Buttercup." His teeth nip at my earlobe. He takes in the scent of me.

"Forgotten who?" I ask thoroughly confused.

He props himself up to gaze at me. His eyes twinkle in merriment.

"Exactly," he growls, moving his face to kiss my belly button, his hands splayed against my chest doing delicious things which sends swirls of tingling sensation from where he touches me, shooting through my body and curling my toes. He leaves a trail of kisses, starting at my collar bone, paying homage to his favored parts of my body as he slowly makes his way lower. His pace is excruciatingly languid. He has me panting for him within minutes and screaming his name in exultation only moments after.

I hear a door slam behind me, a creak of the screen door slapping back into place.

"Leah! Leah, will you do me a favor and check in on Stefan while I'm at work?" Felicia asks casually, tossing me her house keys, cruelly wrenching me out of my lusty daydream.

_Damn!_

"What's wrong with him?" I ask a little alarmed. Usually I'm the first one he visits when he's in town. Whatever's going on with him, it must be serious. My worry for Stefan is enough for me to momentarily shake off the arousal caused by my memories of my boyfriend.

"Oh, he's sick, but he won't admit it," she says with an annoyed huff. "What is it with men and their inability to accept their obvious weaknesses?"

I watch Felicia adjust her outfit, one she'd snagged from backstage at the latest school fashion show where my designs were featured. She's wearing one of my originals and it looks fab on her. She notices my admiring glance with a self-satisfied smirk. I quirk an eyebrow at her, telling her without words that she still owes me for that addition to her wardrobe.

"One day, girlie-wolf, you and I are going to go into business together," Felicia has taken to calling me what Jake does. Delighting, she says, in the way it rolls off her tongue. For some reason I like the way she uses the moniker better than I the way Jake says it. There's almost a note of admiration in it when Felicia calls met girlie-wolf. "With your fashion forward sense and my financial smarts, you and me," she continues, eyes sparkling, "we could make a fortune together!"

I nod indulgently at her. She's voiced this desire and more recently. She's gotten more animated about describing her business aspirations with me since she'd realized graduation day is nearly upon me. And now with my attempts to get into a fashion design school, she's getting more creative with her pitches, especially when she's most annoyed with her current boss for making her go into work when she doesn't want to.

"What's he got?" I ask, drawing the conversation back to Stefan.

"Seems like a variation of the flu." With a wicked gleam she adds, "Hey, what if he's got avian flu? God, wouldn't that just be an ironic kick in the pants?"

"What?! Just because he's a falcon? That's not really funny, Feli," I say shaking my head at her. "People have died from _that_ flu."

"_Phhhhpt!_ Whatever, Leah," she snorts daintily. "My brother hasn't _died_ in a million years! No flu, no matter what kind, will be the reason for his untimely death."

I nod. Truer words have never been spoken.

"I'll check on him," I assure her. "And I'll be sure to let him know what a loving sister he's got," I shout at her as she walks to her car.

She waves absently at me, "Thanks, Leah! Oh, and he's too sick to do _anything_, if you know what I mean," she says with a wink, turning away slightly, her tone too-casual to be offering a true afterthought. "So, you know, don't take advantage of him in his helpless state."

I roll my eyes at her and laugh.

"You're the one who's _sick_." I shout back at her. "And your reverse psychology won't work on me, you perv! Go to work already!"

She returns my laugh with a gleeful one of her own. "Hey, what kind of loving sister would I be if I didn't at least try to help my dear brother get his mojo back?!"

"Go to work!" I shout.

"I'll see you later!" she shouts back.

After I throw on a nicer shirt, I unlock Felicia's door. It's dark and I can smell his masculine scent. I track him to the living room, where he's sprawled, bare-chested on the sofa. His breathing is labored and he looks exhausted even though he's asleep. I quietly make my way over to him. I sit on the floor beside the couch and place a hand on his brow.

Hot.

That's normal, I guess.

I watch his face contort in some sort of pain and under my fingers I feel a flash of cold under his skin.

_Now, that's NOT normal._

I'm on my knees now, looking at his face. He moans, but not in a good way. I glide my hand against his face, my palm rests against his cheek. He pushes his face against my hand as though looking for comfort. He's still sleeping.

"No!" His bellow has me jerking away. I throw him a questioning look and realize his fever, or whatever is happening to him, is causing him to talk in his sleep. I wrestle with myself, trying to decide if I should stay or if I should go. It feels like I'm invading his privacy by staying.

"We have to stop this!" he continues to shout, his flailing hand grabs at my arm. "This is insanity. I can't… I can't do this anymore." His voice is overwrought. I see a lone tear seep out from under one of his eyelids. Alarmed, I reach out a hand and place it in the middle of his expansive chest. My hand here is cooler than his body temperature.

This_ is_ unusual.

His hands are pushing against air, as though he's lifting an immense weight. His muscles all over his body are strung tight. I feel his erratic heartbeat beneath my fingertips.

"Shhh, Stefan," I whisper, soothingly, as I rub at his chest, trying to help him regain warmth."It's OK." At my words and the feel of my touch, his body slackens.

"It hurts," he whines. "Tell him we have to stop. Please, make him... tell him we have to stop."

I wrinkle my brows together with concern as he tosses beneath my flattened palm. His movements reminds me of Seth as a little boy, in the throes of a haunting nightmare, trying to ward off demons in his sleep. Stefan's anguished cries tug at something in me that wants to take the horror away. I keep one hand on his chest, and go to sit next to him against his hip. My other hand moves to calm his strained facial features.

He whimpers

This is not a sound you want to hear from a strong man unless you've done something to make that sound come from him while sharing his bed. _This is bad._ But I also recall something about how you're not supposed to wake a person up while they're dreaming. So, instead, I try to force my thoughts into his brain.

_Stefan, honey, Stefan, you're OK, you're here with me_. His body ceases moving as he hears my voice in his head.

_Elise? _

Disbelief.

Elise? Elisheva? Nickname? Maybe, I process this quickly before his sleep-muddled brain can register my confusion.

_Yes, Stefan. I'm here. Please, calm down, _ I throw the thought at him before I can hesitate over whether to tell him the truth of my identity. At least he's stopped thrashing around.

_Elise?!_

Relief. Happy excitement.

I feel his fingers wrap around my wrist as his tortured sighs turn into something else entirely. He views me through fevered, slitted eyes, seeing only what his mind wants him to see. I stand, looking for more leverage to pull away.

"I've missed you, Elisheva, I've missed you terribly," his scratchy whisper has me bending toward him to hear, "Why did you leave? Don't you know how much I love you?"

I gasp. And then I feel the pull. I topple onto of him. The breath leaves me momentarily.

Want.

Need.

Desire.

The three braid tightly together and like wildfire whip through me.

_Sweet Mother of…_

He tugs at me, mentally and physically. He still has yet to completely open his eyes, seemingly content at the images that are playing in his head. Images I can see, too, thanks to his lovely psychic power. I am rendered speechless, the erotic thoughts he allows me to share, stirs up the arousal I'd strummed up on the porch with that memory of Embry in my bed. Four days without him and I turn into this wanton hussy. No longer innocent, knowing of what could come of this, accepting my current state of being all hot and bothered, adding all of this together and I suddenly realize how much I want what Stefan's offering, too.

_Holy hell, I want this too…_

I feel his teeth graze my bottom lip, feel the length of him beneath my quaking body. All around me, he flashes hot and cold, nothing in-between. I can't seem to keep my head about me. My every nerve ending is straining toward him. His hands are roaming my every curve. I push my body into his, answering his pull with my own. So different from Embry's tall, wiry frame. Stefan is solid muscle, I feel tiny in his arms. There is a spattering of blond hair covering his chest and a trail that matches below his belly button, traveling under the waistband of his trousers. I wrench my gaze away, concentrating on keeping myself in control.

He growls against my collar bone. And just like that, we are again catapulted into that space where it seems our animal instincts take over. I'd forgotten what it feels like, this instinctual, feral need to capture him, to be a part of him. I am swept up again in the furious desire to make him mine. Except, instead of knowing who I am, Stefan stubbornly holds onto the fantasy of me being _her_. And I, am not so lost as to want to believe that it is Embry who I grasp in my arms.

_I need you, Elise,_ his mind begs me, his continuously roaming mouth sends his hot breath against the side of my neck. I find myself unable to breathe, squirming as his fingers wrap in my hair. _It's been so long, too long, sweetheart. I need you._

His mouth captures me in a mind-numbing kiss. The possessive impact of his lips on mine is devastating, wiping nearly every last lucid thought from my protesting brain. His tongue enters my willing mouth with a sureness that stills all my movements above. Too far gone to resist his mating dance, I hastily return the sentiment and he groans, in a good way, against my mouth. He finally breaks away from me only to recapture his breath. I am fighting myself at every turn.

_Why did you do this to me, witch?! _His tone is playful, but not enough to cover the hurt. _Why did you not trust in my love for you?_

I freeze. _This isn't right._ While Stefan continues to touch me in ways I hadn't known would turn me on, I grasp onto the glimmering thread in my mind that I know is MY choice. Embry. I twist my wrist from Stefan's grip and push up and away from him, valiantly keeping the image of Embry forefront in my mind.

Stefan finally releases his grip on me, and I'm fairly sure it's because of his horrified wonder at why an image of my boyfriend lost in the throes of passion is infiltrating his brain.

"Embry?" He murmurs to himself. I try not to think what I'm doing to this virile man beneath me by sending him my thoughts of another man in a state like that. I mean, I could have given him any other image of Embry, but this is the one I choose? _How weird and messed up is that?_ I hope it doesn't scar Stefan for life. And depending on how Stefan takes it, I hope it doesn't scar _me_ for life!

Taking advantage of Stefan's disorientation and his cooling libido, I slide off, moving to sitting beside his hip again. I am breathing hard, keeping all thoughts, except ones of Embry at bay. I feel Stefan's unease at the images I am pushing into his brain. I really don't want to know what he makes of this, but for me, doing this exactly this way seems to help me remember who my boyfriend is, which is helping me to keep from jumping _this_ man and screwing his brains out.

I don't speak or think anything else until I've calmed.

_Stefan,_ I urge gently, when I've regained control of my actions, as well as my mental balance. _Stefan, wake up. You're dreaming. A nightmare I think. Stefan?!_

I watch him struggle toward consciousness. He looks at me, then around me.

"Leah?" he asks, confused. His voice is a dumbfounded croak. "Leah? Oh, thank gods, Leah."

"Yes, It's me, Leah," I say, running my fingers through his soft, thick hair. "Stefan, you're ill."

"It's nothing, Leah," he whispers, closing his eyes against the gentle feel of my hand in his hair. "I'm OK."

"Nightmare?"

"Yes, that's all it was," he says, chagrined. I can't tell if he's disturbed, sad?

"Want to talk about it?"

"What?! No, absolutely not!" he nearly shouts, mortified. "Why do you ask? Did I say something?"

I shake my head, knowing he wouldn't purposely invade my head now without getting clearance. Even so, I still keep my thoughts carefully in check. My hand has moved from his hair, across his forehead, and back down to his chest. My hand rests while I rub my thumb absently in the valley between his clearly defined pectorals. I watch his gaze heat at the sight of me touching him. In the silence, he startles, seeming to remember something.

"Leah? Did I do something?… with you?"

I stop the movement of my thumb before answering.

"No, nothing," I lie smoothly. "You were just moving around and I reached out to calm you. That's all."

Relief floods him and his muscles visibly loosen.

"Oh, good," he sighs as I continue rubbing his chest again.

"Why?" I ask, curiously.

"I thought for a moment, when I woke up, that you were someone else," he admits readily. "It was confusing, the last part of it, but the middle was..."

I stop to stare at him. He smiles warmly, lighting a small fire inside of me, one I purposely ignore.

"…not a bad dream entirely, " he finishes thoughtfully, a tiny hint of a smile at his lips that just minutes ago felt so very good against mine.

I raise an eyebrow at him, but say nothing.

"Well, whatever," I say, dismissively, not able to keep eye contact. "You're still pretty sick, your temperature is unstable. I'm worried. Felicia's worried. So, you're stuck with me until she comes home." I move to take my hand away and I'm surprised to find my wrist captured again by his hand.

"This is going to sound strange," he says prefacing. "But, do you mind laying beside me until she comes home?"

I struggle with myself. The pull that had us nearly attacking each other is gone. I know if I start this, this laying beside him thing, it may become habit. He is an awfully tempting specimen of man. But he's sick, and he looks so exhausted. I look at him in his unease.

This moment has a wisp of a memory tickling my brain. He looks at me searchingly. He's never really asked anything of me. _Well, just to have his baby_, my mind scolds. But, I could do with a nap, though, I think idly.

"Just until she comes home, Leah," he asks again, his eyes pleading. "I promise nothing will happen. I just need…"

"...someone to hold onto?" I finish for him.

He nods, looking away, suddenly finding the fabric of the sofa extremely interesting. A fringe of his blond locks falls into his eyes. His strong fingers, follow a crease in the sofa's back. On the surface, he seems unaware of me, but having been in his place before, I know he's on full alert, waiting for my response. He looks so vulnerable, so unlike himself that I find myself whispering, "OK… OK."

He smiles thankfully as he scoots over, but the couch proves too small for the both of us, unless I lie on top of him, and well, that's not going to happen again if I can help it.

"Let's try the bed," I offer, realizing that I've just seriously lost my fricken mind.

He looks at me questioningly, but I know he needs me right now and he's been such a good friend. So, I offer him my hand. He grabs on and I help ground him as I lead him to the second bedroom that I know he uses for his visits.

Tidy.

The bed is wide enough for the both of us to lie down side-by-side.

I lie down first and reach out to him. He looks down at me, shakes his head once, and moves to lie beside me. I wrap my arms around him, his back to my front. My bottom arm, a pillow for his neck. I can smell the woodsy, musky scent of him coming from his wavy blond hair tickling my nose. This feels so right. But something inside, tells me that this could also be so very wrong.

He sighs audibly, relaxing into me. I place a friendly kiss on his temple. "Sleep now," I whisper comfortingly.

"It's been a long time," he says aloud. "No one's touched me like this… not for a long, long time. I feel..."

His voice drifts off and I think he's asleep.

"This feels good. I haven't felt like this for so... so long," his voice catches.

There's silence again, filled by our twin breathing.

"Thank you, Leah."

My heart leaps to my throat and a tear threatens to fall. Suddenly, the full memory that had been playing at the edges of my mind returns to me now.

One night, more than five years ago, I'd needed someone to hold me like this. I'd been utterly alone for far too long, having lost my love, and in the process, myself. The anger and fear of inadequacy was eating me alive and I'd pushed everyone away. I'd been so depressed that I'd wanted to die at the hands of a monster.

But, I'd found comfort that night.

I'd found comfort in Embry's arms.

Stefan's steady breathing tells me he'd finally fallen asleep. I close my eyes and rest beside him.

**

* * *

Later…  
POV: Leah

* * *

**

An insistent buzzing in my back pocket jolts me awake. I cast a quick glance at Stefan's face next to mine. He's still asleep. My arms are still wrapped around him. His are now around me. Our legs are tangled. The phone is still buzzing. I have half a mind to let it go to voicemail, but the sun's gone and I really need to know what time it is anyway. I ease it out of my pocket and flip it open.

"Hello?" I whisper.

"What's up, Buttercup? Why are we whispering?"

_Oh, shit. Why do I keep answering without checking who it is?_

I try to slide out of Stefan's arms, but realize, he's really muscle bound and I'm trapped.

_OK, I am not going to lie if I can help it_, I decide.

"Someone's sleeping, and…"

"Why are you in Bella's room?"

"It's not Bella."

"Who then? Felicia?"

"Um, no," I admit reluctantly, still whispering. "It's, uh, Stefan. He's sick."

"Let his sister take care of him," he demands immediately. I can hear the anger in his tone. _Not good._ "Why you, Leah? Go home, let Felicia take care of him."

"She's at work," I say quietly, relieved to not be lying. "She asked me to look in on him."

"So, go look at him, make sure he's not dead and leave," his voice is exasperated. He's nearly yelling now. "Why are you watching him sleep? Get out of the room, now!"

"Hey!" I hiss loudly, wondering how he knew I was in his room. Assuming the worst, I guess. "You can't order me around from across the continent! He's sick, OK? He's my friend. I promised to make sure he was OK, So, stop with the jealous boyfriend thing already! We aren't doing anything."

_Well, not really, I think,_ a heated blush crawling up to my cheeks.

I turn to look at Stefan, who's green eyes are open now, watching me with an amused smile playing at his lips. His arms haven't moved from my waist.

"OK. OK. I'm sorry," Embry says, quickly cooling. "Right. It's not like you're sleeping next to him or anything."

My eyes widen and since I'm looking at him, Stefan's eyes widen, too. I don't realize I haven't answered until I hear the frantic voice on the other end of the line.

"Leah?! You're not laying down are you? Leah?!"

"Uh… Embry."

"Oh… hell no!" He bellows. "Holy shit, Leah! What in the hell are you doing?!"

"Embry, calm down!" I'm yelling now, too, pushing against Stefan's arms. He drops them and he looks away, but not before I catch the disappointment in the emerald depths. I sit up, and point an accusing finger at the receiver, as though Embry can see.

"Nothing's happened," I yell back. "Will you stop it. Please. He asked me to stay. I did. I got tired. End of story. That's all. I have all my clothes on, for goodness sakes!"

I hear heavy breathing coming from Embry as he tries to calm down.

"Yeah?! And what's _he_ wearing?"

I turn to look at a bare-chested, rumpled Stefan and jump up to rush over to his bag and pull out a random t-shirt. I throw it at him. It bounces off his face and onto the flat, naked planes of his stomach. He looks at me and I pantomime putting on the shirt. He smiles at me, with a look that is reminiscent of rolling one's eyeballs.

"He's wearing pants and socks and…" I watch as Stefan pulls on his shirt. His muscles ripple at his movements and my mouth waters. I watch as his tousled blond head reappears. "…a stupid white T-shirt."

Stefan sends me a silent quizzical look, then looks down to read his shirt, which is just tight enough to mold to the contours of his well-sculpted chest. He meets my amused gaze with a smirk.

The shirt says, _Get Dirty with an Archaeologist. _

I fight against giggling, shaking my head at him.

"Fine," I can hear Embry still angry over the phone. "Just… will you just go home now?"

"As soon as Felicia gets home, I will." I promise. I'm greeted with a heavy silence. "So, Embry, are we OK, now?"

"Fine," he bites out. "I was just calling to tell you I miss you and that I've already bought the plane tickets to make it to your graduation in two months."

"Good," I say with a smile, turning my back to Stefan. "I miss you, too. And I can't wait to see you again."

"I love you, Leah."

My breath catches. I don't remember him ever saying the words. In all these years together, I don't remember him saying those three words.

"I love you, too, Embry," I reply, breathlessly. "I'll talk to you soon."

Embry responds in the affirmative, less angry now.

I hang up my phone and turn to Stefan, who has a contagious smile on his face.

"Why are you smiling, Stefan?" I ask, confused, smiling back.

"Living vicariously, Leah," he answers promptly, "And I feel fine."


	36. Turning on a Dime

**Things Turn on a Dime  
POV: Leah**

* * *

Stefan stayed at Felicia's until he was feeling better, about another week and a half. He didn't seem one hundred percent, but he did stop having the swinging body temperatures when he finally did leave. Also, his nightmares weren't quite so violent by the time he got on that plane bound for Washington.

While he was staying next door, Felicia made her way to my doorstep at least a half a dozen times, frantic for my help. Stefan's nightmares were getting to be too much for her. Even the magic ties she'd used to strap him to bed weren't working to settle him. They only caused him to thrash around and hurt himself more. His extreme temperature fluctuations were especially alarming, causing us both some sleepless nights.

We both duly noted that Stefan rested more easily and appeared truly soothed only when it was me whispering to him and laying my hands on him. He actually got some undisturbed sleep when I lay down beside him and held him through the night. She sometimes sat with me while I held him, teaching me strange, and lovely words to say to him, lulling him to sleep under some beautifully chanted spell.

Felicia thinks she knows what's happening to him, but can't for the life of her understand why. She told me he's exhibiting symptoms of a shifter absorbing the magic of another supernatural being, but she has no inkling of why Stefan would do this since he isn't trained. It would be so natural for him to just ask her to do it, since it was something she could do with ease. So, with no real answers to our questions, we both bit our nails down to the quick out of worry for him and his mysterious disease. We both were fairly resentful about this, too, since we are both vain enough to prefer our nails be perfectly manicured most of the time.

Watching his torment was all pretty frightening, though. By the third night, Felicia was taking back all the jokes she'd made about avian flu and was retracting her statement about how no little sickness would be the death of him.

Neither Felicia nor I want to think too hard about what was happening to Stefan and jointly decide to just go with what works… and what worked was having me go to him in the evenings when he'd been shouting and flailing in his bed for a prolonged period of time.

Felicia's even taken to calling me his _healer_, which seems to have some meaning for Stefan. He now looks at me with even more respect and tenderness than ever before. There's also a new, slightly protective, possessive thing going on with him over me, too. I've noticed he's not too happy when Embry calls and starts to attack my friendship with him. Though Stefan says nothing, his entire demeanor changes and the muscles in this jaw clench and unclench while he obviously listens to my side of the conversation. This tension wasn't there before. So, I've taken to leaving the room whenever Embry is on the cell and Stefan is within earshot.

I don't tell Embry how many times I've fallen asleep holding onto Stefan, helping to calm his tremors. I really think Embry would completely lose it if he knew. Besides, it wasn't like I was actually going to do any of the things I'd imagined doing while I stroked and held onto this gorgeous hunk of a man for most of the night.

I don't feel bad not telling him, because I know Embry will overreact. After all, what's between Stefan and me is still perfectly platonic. We're still really good friends. Both of us, though, I think, are still secretly wondering what it'll be like when we actually have to conceive this super werewolf-shifter baby.

Yes, Embry should definitely _not_ know about how many nights I've laid, fully clothed, in Stefan's bed, gazing at him and wondering what my baby will look like.

All too soon, it's two days before graduation day.

I'm expecting Embry to fly in early this evening.

I currently feel sick to my stomach and that's why I'm hanging out in the bathroom, waiting for the next wave of nausea. I'm hope I'm not coming down with something that'll keep me from walking down the aisle for that elusive diploma. It's been four years of hard work, and I don't want it to culminate in a day spent in bed vomiting my guts out with the stomach flu, or worse, stomach poisoning! I knew I shouldn't have eaten those damn oysters with Felicia the last time we were at the wharf. _Ugh!_

Though I only retched once, and that was this morning, the nausea has been constant since the weekend. I'd been thinking maybe I need more air, more exercise to kick the bug. I even transformed into my shaggy wolf self, three days ago, to have a refreshing run. I'm shaggy because I don't have the heart to cut my long hair again. That transformation was really hard on me, leaving me incredibly weak when I finally returned to my human form. While laying on the forest floor, naked to the world, I decided that I wasn't going to try turning wolf again for awhile. But I did still manage to find exercise time, through yoga. I had to keep moving, after all, because I was worried about my recent weight gain. I hadn't been able to fit the dress I'd bought specifically for graduation three months ago. If I was actually menstruating, you'd think I have PMS, but I'm not, and I haven't had a period since I turned into a werewolf.

A sudden stabbing cramp has me grabbing at my abdomen. I whimper at the pain, reminiscent of those old cramps from nearly seven years ago when I was just a human girl. Except this is sharper and it comes with an agonizing twist at the end. Another stab in the gut, and I'm on my knees, falling onto the tile floor, yelping out in pain. NO, this isn't any normal PMS-y cramp. This one has me spasming, and gasping for air as the pain radiates from my front to my back, and then back again. I steady myself by holding onto the bathroom sink. Another stabbing pain and I'm doubled over, seeing stars and it releases me, allowing me a pain-free moment to fall flat on my back, trembling, and then writhing against the onslaught of sickening sensation threatening to crush me from the inside out. I look down the length of my body to take stock, making sure everything is still in working order. As I look, I am greeted with an even more sickening sight.

Blood, bright red, all over the cold tile floor beneath me.

I have the wherewithal to scream for Bella. I hear her running and see her worried face hovering as I blink in and out of consciousness. She calls my name, asking me what's wrong. I know I'm crying because she's a watery blur. The pain centering around my middle won't stop in its steady breath stealing contractions . I feel like I'm being ripped apart. I gasp, asking her with the little strength I have between the peaks of pain, to get Felicia and Stefan. I tell her I need to go to the hospital. To please call Embry, and to grab Seth if he's around… Then I black out from the pain that is ransacking my body.

* * *

**At The Hospital  
POV: Stefan**

* * *

I'm pacing in the hospital waiting room with Bella, Felicia and Seth. We're on edge, waiting for someone to come tell us news of Leah. I can't stop moving and I can't erase the image in my head of Leah lying unconscious on the bathroom floor.

When Bella slammed into Felicia's place in a complete frenzy about something that had happened to her roommate, I instantly tried searching out Leah's brain waves. When I couldn't detect her uniquely strong thought patterns, I panicked and rushed into the adjoining apartment. I stopped cold in my tracks when I saw her laying there in a pool of red. She'd lost so much blood. I did not think twice about bringing her to a regular hospital. I was scared out of my wits that this precious girl, supernatural or not, would die if I didn't get her somewhere safe, and in this case, that was a place full of learned people who had medical degrees and could save her life.

So, while in her apartment, surrounded by three people pinging around like pinballs in one of those infernal arcade machines, I resisted the urge to get sucked into their manic vortex. I threw a cloak of calm around us, and then went about shouting orders because _someone_ needed to be clear -headed while everyone else was losing their mind.

I commanded Felica to grab the car. I ordered Bella to write Embry a note and tape it to the door because he was still on an airplane without cell coverage. I don't know how I managed to remember that she should also leave a voicemail so he'd get it once he landed. I grabbed Bella's shoulders, looked her in the eye and used extra mood enhancing powers to force her to settle down. She'd calmed enough to do as I'd explicitly asked: _do not sound hysterical when leaving the message!_ I had a niggling concern that Embry would be so worried on his way to the hospital that he'd get into a car wreck and kill himself on the way to see Leah.

I had Seth pack Leah a bag with all of her favorite things in it so she wouldn't wake up to a stark white hospital room. Then I gave myself the job of carrying Leah to the car from the bathroom. She lay so limply in my arms, like a life-sized rag doll. I nearly whimpered at the feeling of her near lifeless form against me. I searched for her pulse, weak, but thankfully, still there. As I cradled her in my arms on the way to the emergency room, my heart squeezed. I never thought I'd care for a woman like this again, especially since most of my life had been spent waiting for, and relishing the demise of evil personified in the women who'd in the past held me in their thrall. Before Leah, I couldn't wait to have my sister get her hands on these female monsters. Never did I think I'd be the one demanding to act as savior for one of these women, particularly this one, my one greatest thrall since Elisheva left me to rot.

I would let no one touch Leah as I moved her from the car to the emergency room bed that was ready for her upon my arrival. Sometimes it helps to look as I do, and have a voice that sounds as commanding as mine does. It especially helps to have the slight accent and manner of speech. It helps to look like a man in charge, a man worried for a woman he simply cannot live without. It also helps to have an inordinate amount of cash on hand to speed things along at this private hospital.

The door from the emergency room swings open and a young doctor with a paper mask on his face beckons me to him. I guess he figures I'm the most important of us four since my shirtsleeves are still covered in Leah's blood.

"Mr. -"

"Falconer," I smoothly fill in for him. He nods.

"Your -"

"fiancèe. Her name is Leah," I supply, not knowing why I'm speaking such untruths about our status.

It seems exactly the right thing to say, though, since the doctor pulls me aside into the hallway, away from the others. I know it is more Seth's right to hear this since he is Leah's next of kin, but he's still shaking from the ordeal, and it strikes me that he is a mere boy. He looks nearly as weak as she does. I have an inkling that perhaps he might not be in the right frame of mind to hear what ails his sister.

The doctor's blue eyes sadden for a moment, and then he quickly pulls on the mask of professionalism. I resist the opportunity to peer into this man's mind. I have learned not to do so with medical workers. The things they see are often too much for me to handle.

"Your Leah will be fine, Mr. Falconer, but your baby…" I stand stoically, my hands clench in my pocket, and my jaw tenses, as the doctor fumbles for words.

"A baby?" I finally breathe.

"Yes, your fiancèe, Mr. Falconer, she's miscarried. The fetus was about two months old. I'm sorry, sir. Leah's conscious now. She is still, however, quite weak. You can go in to see her, but please tell the others in there, only one at a time, please. We've moved her to a semi-private room."

I thank him for this, suddenly realizing how much being monied can grease the wheel in such a place.

The doctor quietly says to me, "Mr. Falconer, we want to keep your fiancèe overnight for observation, just to make sure that she recovers from the emergency d&c without any complications. She does look fine, and there isn't any indication that she can't have anymore children. I hope this is some good news that can be taken away from this…tragedy," he says, having the grace to duck his head while he says it. "We can have a cot set up for you, Mr. Falconer, if you'd like."

Too shocked to say anything else.

I nod.

"She's in room 203."

I quietly thank him again and I turn to open the waiting room door to provide information to the others waiting inside.

"She's going to be alright," I announce. They all smile in relief and come to standing, ready to trek out to the elevators to visit Leah.

All the while, I keep my eyes open for any sign of Embry.

* * *

**Hearing What We Want to Hear  
POV: Embry**

* * *

I careen into the hospital parking lot and dash into the lobby. I halt at the receptionist's desk. She's sitting, chatting with someone on her headset. I motion at her impatiently, trying to get her attention. She puts up an index finger to stop me for a moment, places the call she has on hold, and pleasantly asks me if she can help me.

It's all I can do not to scream in her face, and ask for Leah Clearwater's room number.

Armed now with the information, I bolt to the stairwell headed for Room 203. I push at the double doors, which are actually meant to open on their own. I notice that to my immediate right is the floor's waiting room. I see Felicia and Bella against the far wall, they are facing me, but do not see me since their eyes are cast down. I also see the back of someone's head. From the looks of him, it's Seth.

"… a baby?" I hear Seth mutter, his face cradled in his hands. "Jesus, you guys. How's she going to handle this?"

I steel myself and stride into the room. The girls look up at me. Seth still doesn't know I'm in the room, since I'm standing behind him.

"Two months," Seth continues. "Pregnant for two months and she didn't know it. Christ!"

_Two months!_ I do a mental calculation, a smile starts to make its way from my heart to my lips.

_Mine. My baby!_

I see Felicia share a look with Bella. Those two hate each other, why are they sitting so close, and sending each other super secret silent messages?

Embry continues on his rant, "…and did either of you know she was engaged to _him_? What the fuck? Why didn't she tell me? I'm her brother!"

_Something is very wrong._

I clear my throat. Seth turns to me and I am shocked to see the tears streaming down his face.

_It's a baby, for chrissakes, why is he crying and sounding like someone just up and died?! Hey, maybe it's Stefan who's finally dead! I heard he was sick…_

I quickly put an end to my own hysterics.

"What's going on?" I demand, suddenly overcome with a sickening feeling that I haven't got the full picture.

"Leah's had a miscarriage," Felicia explains somberly, since the other two have suddenly gone mute.

My heart sinks to my stomach. I can't seem to catch my breath, having been on this never-ending roller coaster ride of emotions since receiving Bella's voicemail upon landing and reading the note on their door.

Felicia's staring at me.

_No baby, then._

"Who's with Leah?" I ask roughly, realizing that everyone I know who's supposed to be in town for her graduation is sitting in this stark little room.

Bella and Seth slide their eyes away from me as Felicia answers.

"Stefan is."

_And, so, the bastard isn't dead after all. Damn._

Now thousands of alarm bells are going off in my head as I start to slowly string things together.

_Two months._

_Engaged? _

_But not to me..._

I suddenly recall a whispered phone conversation I'd shared with Leah _about two months ago_. I was not happy _then_, and I have a dreadfully strong feeling I'm not going to be very happy _now_.

"Whose baby, Felicia?" I ask through gritted teeth.

I'm met with a deafening silence. I take a moment to stare into each of their faces. The only one who meets my fierce glare is Felicia.

"The baby was Leah's," she replies sharply, eyes shining, fists clenched, and mouth set. "The baby, Embry, was _Leah's_."

Ferocious anger bubbles up inside of me and I am filled with an intense need to see her, to find out the truth. I turn on my heel and make my way to Room 203.

* * *

**Inside Room 203  
POV: Stefan**

* * *

Leah opens her arms to me as soon as she sees me entering the room. I pull the hospital's curtain partition around us to give her a smaller cocoon and a semblance of privacy even though there's no one in the other bed. The nurses have decided it's a slow night and there's no reason I shouldn't use it. I'm planning on offering the bed to Embry as soon as he gets here, anyway.

While I hold her, I am left to wonder at the many benefits good-looking people have in this world. While I don't often use such things to my advantage, it never ceases to amaze me how shallow humans can be, leaving most things unexamined because of what they see in front of them. In this case, because of my abnormal masculine beauty, I receive top-notch medical service and hospitality that rivals a 5-star hotel.

I shake off my musings, and turn to focus on Leah.

I recognize the power she's using to pull me to her. It's not passion she wants tonight. I see that she craves solace, and I am more than willing to offer this to her. So, I go to sit on her hospital bed and I wrap my arms around her, gathering her up into a tight hug. I hold onto her as she sobs. She grasps onto me, pressing down onto my arms that surround her, a motion that has me thinking I am wringing out a sponge with my entire body.

I hold her together as she threatens to to fall apart.

I listen to her recount how it almost killed her to phase a few days ago and how she thinks she killed the baby then. Or maybe it was the raw oysters. I whisper reassurances that it is not her fault. She curses her vanity, having stupidly worried about the extra few pounds she'd gained, how this made her think she needed to start running in her wolf-form again. And then, she cries some more.

And, still, I hold her tightly, to help her keep from shattering.

I cry with her, in fact, as she pushes all of her overpowering emotions unto, and into, me. Along with sharing her anguish I absorb the despaired wracking of her body against mine. Alone, this would be unbearable for her. Shared this way, I know I can help her through this anguish. Even so, I realize that this is not my place, not really. I know that another should be holding her this way right now.

Embry.

But he is _still_ not here.

And I'm the only one who can fulfill this need in his absence.

And so, I continue to hold her, waiting for the man who will help her bind it all back together.

I lay her down as her sobs settle into quiet weeping. I try to pull away to sit in the armchair beside the bed, but Leah grabs onto my wrists, wrapping her hands around my forearms, forcing me to cradle her against me, and finally she pulls me down to lie beside her. This has become a familiar position for us since my last visit. It starts with her spooning me into her, quieting the frenzied movements of my nightmares, and usually ends with me holding onto her by the time we wake.

Tonight, it's me who smoothes down her hair, rubs her back, and whispers the little Nordic enchantment she so often soothed me with on those awful, tormented nights. When she finally quiets, I let her lay against me, teaching her to breathe again by letting her listen to and feel my consistent breath. She fits herself into my now familiar grooves, and I listen to the restoration of her regular rhythm of breathing, and feel her heartbeat steadying under my hand.

I know she is too tired too speak, but I also know she is too disturbed to sleep.

"A penny for your thoughts. Leah," I whisper against her ear, hoping I can help her sort through it all without the need to speak the words aloud.

I wait for either of her expected responses.

The first part of her rejoinder sticks in her throat and all I hear of her sad reply is, "…tell me that you love me."

"Okay, Leah" I say quietly, "Okay."

…and I leave her alone in her thoughts.

She gives me her gratitude by squeezing my forearms. I pull her close and place a soft kiss on the back of her head. I find myself surprisingly satisfied that she's found at least some comfort in my arms.

* * *

**Seeing What We Want to See  
POV:Embry**

* * *

I've been standing in front of the closed door for a few minutes, now, trying to calm myself before walking in. It occurs to me that I could be wrong in my assumption, and I do desperately want to give Leah the benefit of the doubt. When I find myself able to breathe normally again, I slowly pull open the door to Room 203. Given its height and weight I am surprised that it noiselessly swings open.

I can see the bulky silhouette of her lying figure projected onto the curtained wall in front of me.

"…tell me that you love me," Leah's unmistakable, tearstained voice pleads.

I feel a torrent of relief, believing she is speaking to me. She must have heard the door open and somehow recognized me, somehow she knows that I'm here for her at last.

But then I hear a deeper, raspy reply, "Okay, Leah. Okay."

My heart thuds in my chest, not believing my ears. I move to touch the curtain to make certain it's her in the room. I peer around the material and see a familiar mop of blond hair. His muscular body is curled around her smaller one, their legs are entangled, her long black hair is splayed over his shoulder as he places a kiss on the top of her head. I watch the muscles in his back move, indicating that he's pulling her closer to him.

It would have been an endearing sight..… if I wasn't her boyfriend… and if I didn't already despise the sight of the man holding her in his arms, wrapping himself around her with a familiarity that makes me want to tear him limb from limb.

_NO FUCKING WAY! I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! THE BOTH OF YOU! _

My mind screams this as I feel the pulsating anger begin at the base of my spine. I know I am on the verge of losing it completely. I can feel the shimmering start at my fingers and toes, the fury spreads now up through my spinal column and into my skull.

_STOP!_

The single word explodes in my head, pushing back all signs of phasing. A cascade of cool calm washes over me. Even though his back is to me, I know Stefan's taken my initial rage away. I open my mouth to shout my accusations anyway, regardless the lack of heated emotion behind them. I might not feel them, but I know they're there.

_DON'T, EMBRY!_

Stefan delivers his command and it is like having his large hand slap over my mouth. Thoroughly silencing me.

Though he hasn't moved from his prone position beside her, Stefan yells the warning in my head. I can't make myself feel the violent blast of enraged adrenaline that enveloped me at my first sight of them together. I'm trying to fight the fuzzy sedation that's he's put inside me, the infuriatingly placid sensation taking the place of all that glorious fury.

_LISTEN. FEEL, _he commands.

I shake my head.

_NO! _ I manage.

But he comes at me again anyway, and I am suddenly overwhelmed with an unfathomable anguish that has a death grip on my heart. Along with it, is an all-encompassing guilt that surrounds this unrelenting clenched fist of despair. I can only wonder at its source.

_DO YOU FEEL THAT? _His silent mental cry shakes me, tries to make me focus on the question. I silently send a yes, back at him, biting back a sob at the unexpected bleakness swirling inside of me.

_THAT'S LEAH, RIGHT NOW, EMBRY. This is how she feels right this minute. So, DON'T, Embry. Calm yourself. Please!_

He turns his head to look toward me, where I'm still half hidden by the curtained partition. The second viewing of him holding my girlfriend in such an intimate way, once again sends a violent rage pulsing through me. He partially lets up the artificial calm, allowing me to have a little more clarity of mind, allowing me to speak my peace, even if it's only to him, in this weird psychic mind meld sort of way.

_You fucking, bastard! _I bellow into his head. _She told me __**nothing**__ was going on, but clearly…_

I watch him shake his head impatiently.

_Stop being stupid, Embry! She's feeling so terribly already. Please stop with your unfounded accusations!_

This silent battle infuriates me. I want to yell out loud, but he's somehow taken control of my vocal cords by continuing to shoot Leah's paralyzing emotions into me. As much as I hate her right now, I can't add to her misery.

_This is not what it looks like,_ I hear him say in my head.

I let out an incredulous laugh. At the sound of my own throaty voice, I feel a new wave of guilt hit me and wonder if this feeling is still Leah's.

_Save it, _I manage to voicelessly roar at him. _People always say __**that**__! Judging from what's right in front of me, it's pretty clear to me what's been going on. So don't even start..._

I see the muscles at his shoulders tighten, I can see I'm getting to him, and that he's trying, apparently, not to upset Leah by letting her know we're having this silent sparring match.

_I'm so sorry, Embry,_ he says, as if this is enough to placate me.

_"Keep your platitudes, Stefan!"_ I heave my angry thoughts out at him. _"You know what? I'm GLAD this happened to her! To BOTH of you. This is what you both deserve! I told her to stay away from you! I'm glad she knows that there is no such thing as happily ever after with an imprint… especially with the likes of you."_

I watch him slowly turn to face me. The look on his face is clearly not contrite, but deadly. I wonder at his nerve, looking like _he's_ the one who wants to throttle _me_!

_"She lost a baby, for chrissakes, Embry! Where's your heart?"_

_"My heart?! It's dead, along with YOUR goddamn baby!"_

He freezes, no motion whatsoever. It's frightening, actually. I stare at his impervious expression.

_How long have you two been going at it, huh? Been having a good laugh at my expense as you pound in and out of her?! _I heedlessly continue on, obviously in possession of some sort of death wish._ Lying bitch! She deserves the guilt of this baby's death! She knew her body isn't equipped to have kids. Now, she'll have to live with THIS, along with knowing that she's abused my trust. And now she'll forever know that all she's amounted to is becoming your goddamn whor-"_

_GET OUT! _Stefan roars into my mind, cutting off my malicious thought pattern. He lashes into me so ferociously that it makes my head whip back around. I feel sick to my stomach at the anger he's unleashed on my insides.

"Gladly," I hiss, out loud, stepping away from the curtain and out of Room 203.

* * *

**Let Him Think What He Wants to Think.  
POV: Leah**

* * *

"Leah," I say carefully, after finally managing to reign in my anger and disgust at that hotheaded, foolish boy. "_That_ was Embry. He was in the room and misinterpreted our words."

She seems to take a moment to replay the conversations we'd been having before we'd both heard the door swing open.

"Oh," she says quietly, breathing out a short gasp of air. "He's assumed the worst, I guess?"

"Yes," I reply.

_To say the least. _

"Do you want me to go and get him, Leah? To tell him the truth about your baby?"

She waits a heartbeat before answering.

"What for, Stefan?" she replies wearily. "So we can tell him there's nothing between us? So we can get him to believe _today's_ truth only to put him through all of this… _again_? So he can feel betrayed one more? So… he can think the very worst of me… again? No, Stefan. It's better this way. Let him have his anger. It's better for him... for us... this way."

* * *

**Two Years Later… Whereupon it is Jake's and Embry's graduation weekend  
**_**POV: Leah**_

_a bonfire to welcome folks back to LaPush… and to celebrate old legends._

_

* * *

_

Considering everything, I am surprised at the relative peace we are experiencing around tonight's bonfire.

Bella is beside Jake, and Emily is at Sam's side. Embry even has a girl sitting next to him. I try to push away the overwhelming jealousy that's eating away at me as I sneak peeks at them. Is she AP Calculus girl, I wonder? Or did he make up with Aylen after he left me alone two years ago?

I've been sitting beside Stefan, I've come to jokingly think of us as the S_till-C__uriously-Celibate-Couple. _We've been enjoying each other's company on and off... but I really don't feel like getting involved sexually, especially after the miscarriage. I know he's disappointed, but he doesn't seem to be in a huge rush. So, I figure he's waiting for me and I'm not in a rush either. I figure when the time comes to fulfill this prophecy, I'll know.

So, here I am, patiently explaining to him all that is happening during this bonfire. I'm not completely ignorant of Embry and the stink eye he continues to give Stefan and me. I hear a growl emanate from Embry's general vicinity, aimed specifically in my direction. The sound prompts me to purposely reach out to hold Stefan's hand and narrow my gaze, sending Embry the clear message to knock it off. I see Stefan give me a small smile, but otherwise, he seems careful to keep any emotion off of his face.

I try to ignore Embry's blatant rudeness. Even Paul is deliberately trying to stay out of it, which is certainly laudable. Stefan continues to murmur questions in my ear, trying to make sense of the Third Wife legend. Any action that Stefan makes to move closer to me seems to further incense Embry, who, to everyone's surprised dismay, suddenly rises to his feet. His blazing gaze does not waver from Stefan's cool stare.

"Why are you here, shifter?" Embry's infuriated question shocks the entire pack into silence, and his date looks utterly confused. His complete neglect of her almost has me feeling sorry for the girl.

_Almost_.

"He's her _imprint_, pup," Sam bellows. "Leave it alone already!"

Embry growls, _really growls,_ at Sam. Jake rises, then, and places a staying hand on Embry's shoulder.

I watch another expression cross Stefan's handsome features and I suddenly realize there's something else going on under the surface. I pinch Stefan's side and he winces.

"Knock it off, Stefan. Whatever you're saying to him, just stop!" I hiss quietly. I wait for his nod, and Embry sits down, still locking eyes with Stefan.

An audible sigh of relief comes from the group once he's seated.

But just as I settle back into my place, bumping Stefan's shoulder companionably, I feel his muscles instantly tauten next to mine, and I hear an angry snarl rip out of Stefan's throat.

"You dare refer to her by that vulgar word… again?" he growls at Embry. Stefan's fierce look has the girl beside Embry scampering behind Jake, who's the only other guy in the circle as big as Stefan.

The guys all stare wide-eyed at Embry who nonchalantly places a piece of food in his mouth with a shrug. We can all only guess at the offensive word he's formed in his head to describe me. Judging from Stefan's reaction, I have a good idea it starts with "w" and rhymes with "more". I shoot Embry my own look of absolute disgust.

"You do _not_ deserve her after all," Stefan spits out.

"Who says I still _want_ her," Embry says, roughly pulling his date out of Jake's shadow and giving her an angry kiss, as if showing me - _all of us_ - just how over me he is. _Bastard_. As an unwilling witness, I feel a sharp sting, as though Embry had just slapped _me _with his rough handling of the girl. I try not to think of the words he'd managed to spit out against me in his fury.

If I'd been _her_, I'd have kicked him halfway to Sunday and stomped away by now. I can't believe she's still standing there, but as I examine her pathetic figure, I quickly forgive her after realizing he's got a death grip on her arm.

"Stop it!" I shout at him. "It's been TWO YEARS. You've clearly made your decision, Embry!" I motion over to the poor girl, with her bruised lips, at his side. She seems on the verge of tears. "Just stop it, Embry! Leave if you can't behave yourself."

Even as I move to sit, there still appears to be a tense, silent conversation going on between him and Stefan. And, then, out of no where, Embry phases and bum rushes Stefan from across the circle. I watch the attack in slow motion. Embry jumps on Stefan who seems out of practice in participating in your basic, manly, pissing-match, brawl.

Miraculously, I keep from phasing. A wave of calm enfolds me just as Stefan lands backwards on the ground, pinned under Embry's hulking, furry form. I know my placid state of mind is Stefan's doing again. I'm thankful, mostly, since I'm vain enough to consider the fact that I'd rather not rip apart my favorite pair of jeans to keep these idiots from killing each other. I am glad to see Stefan take the animal form of a werewolf that looks a whole hell of a lot like Jake's werewolf form, _except_ _bigger_. I didn't know Stefan could do that! I look at my pack mates who seem equally stunned at the sight of Stefan turning into a wolf - _just like us_.

_Looks like Embry's going to be well-matched_, I think smugly. I am surprised, a little, by my unobtrusive, quiet observations. I realize it's good not to be caught up in the emotion of this. It's like seeing the fight through a safe, comfortable bubble, like watching it all on t.v.

Unfortunately, the bubble I'm in doesn't surround anyone else. The frightening, animalistic growls coming from both werewolves has the girl Embry brought screaming like a fricken' banshee.

_Shit, didn't he even tell her?_

Watching her face contort in horror, I am again grateful to be able to keep my head as I watch them tear into each other. I wince as Embry rips into Stefan's shoulder. I recognize Stefan's defensive movements. It's clear that he's not the one who's on the attack.

_I didn't realize how impulsive Embry really is. There were some clues, but really, this is uncalled for! What the hell were they saying to each other to make Embry want to kill Stefan like this? _

I look to both Jake and Sam to break it up, but the stupid blood-thirsty men that they are, they shake their heads, no. They both seem willing to wait it out now, since it's clear that Stefan isn't out to murder one of their own.

I look at Bella and in our silent girl way, I tell her to pull Embry's screaming date aside. Lord, but she was giving me a headache! Thankful that Bella's not as dense as she sometimes seems, she leads the girl out into the edge of the trees to calm her down. I find my way to them and start to strip, still listening to the fighting down at the beach. The commotion is not abating, if anything, the sounds are getting worse. There's a tight circle of shouting guys around the werewolves now. I can only imagine the mayhem in the middle.

_Stupid Embry!_

_Stupid Stefan_!

"Leah, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like Bella?" I say annoyed. "Those idiots are going to let them slaughter each other. I have to go and break it up. Turn away now if you don't want to see my naughty bits." I hear a watery, hysterical giggle come from the slight form next to Bella. I stop mid-way though my strip show. The girl's eyes had widened at the sound of my name, as if she recognized me or something.

"Hey, screamer, what's you're name?" I ask.

"Aylen," she says.

I sigh, and shake my head. Well, that explains her familiarity with me. We were great chat room friends. Now I know why she dropped out of the How to get over Embry Call discussion Board around two months ago.

"So, you're a sucker for punishment, too, huh?" She sends me a guilty glance, but her eyes go round as saucers as she watches me make my transformation to wolfgirl. I feel like she's studying me, like she'll have a test tomorrow about how I calmly go about phasing. It's slightly creepy.

I force myself to forget about Aylen, the screamer, ex-now-current girlfriend of _bastard wolf_, and rush back out into the clearing, where the LaPush men are now yelling at the werewolves, bellowing advice about what their next moves should be.

I discover that I can still roll my eyes as wolfgirl. I make my presence known by breaking through the throng and shoving myself between the grappling werewolves.

_OK, that was a incredibly stupid thing for me to do._

In the time I'd gone and come back, Embry had somehow managed to piss Stefan off royally and now both weren't holding back in their mode of attacks.

"Oh, shit! Leah's in there!" I hear Sam shout.

Now, I never claimed my ex- was the sharpest tool in the shed.

_So yeah, not sharp, but he is still a tool._

I see a flurry of movement among the other men who are trying to decide whether to phase and come save me. While the imbeciles remain undecided, I try with my legs and snout to keep Embry and Stefan from capturing each other's jugulars in a death grip with their jaws. For this, I am rewarded with a nice rip at my left hip and another at my right waist. Both stupid wolves managed to draw blood from me.

_Fan-fucking-tastic._

I yelp loudly, more for effect than out of pain.

_Hey, sometimes it pays to be a drama queen._

Both werewolves go stock-still, cease their attacks, and instantly phase back. Continuing with my farce, I stay in wolfen form, whimpering, and shaking myself free of them. I shoot both of them hateful glares as I overly exaggerate a limp back to where Bella sits with Aylen. I must have been convincing because all I hear in the silence is labored breathing from the two, now naked, morons.

"What's going on?' Aylen asks me, now surprisingly composed.

"Come and see for yourself," I say, after I phase. I am quickly slipping back into my clothes, wincing a little at the pain in my side and at my hip. Both are surface wounds, though. I'm sure they will be gone within a quarter hour. Mere paper cuts, really.

Bella, Aylen, and I slowly make our way back to where the guys are. Stefan must be too distracted to keep me in my calm bubble. My former fury whips through me. I embrace it and focus it before I meet the circle of men.

I'm slightly alarmed to see that Stefan has blood all over his bare chest. The red is seeping from a jagged, ugly wound at his shoulder. He's also sporting a big bruise on his leg and another on his right cheek. One of the guys has already thrown his shirt over Stefan's … ahhh.. privates, and out of the corner of my eye, I see that Embry's grabbed the nearest towel to pull over his lap.

I stride over to the blond first.

"I can't even look at you right now. You know that _this_ is not what I want." I glower at Stefan, disappointed that he'd sunk to Embry's juvenile level. "You promised that this would be OK!"

"Leah, are you all right? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," his sorrow is evident, his hand motioning toward my waist, where blood is starting to seep through my shirt.

_Damn! I really like this shirt! Bloodstains are really hard to get out!_

I have no immediate plans on forgiving Stefan so easily for his stupidity. His usually well-groomed hair is now disheveled, the tips of his blond bangs brush against his clearly pained eyes. I hate seeing him hurt, after all these nights of nightmares. Stupid shifter! Did he even fight back at all?! I sincerely hope he heals as fast as wolves do. I stare silently into deep, almost fathomless green and find myself nearly hypnotized. I shake my head, trying to remind myself what I'd been meaning to shout at him.

"Stefan, I can't think when you're around me! Especially like this when your emotions are on a high," I holler out into the sea breeze. All of my pack brothers and their dates are my undesired audience, all completely caught up in my melodrama.

I stop and take a moment before continuing, "You told me, before, that I'll know when it will be time. Is that still right?"

He nods weakly. I nod stiffly back at him, making no move to comfort him, or ease his obvious pain. I know he's worried. He should be! After this little escapade, he _should_ be worried, because I really don't want to have a kid who is as stupid as he is at this very moment.

"Well, then, let me come to you when _it's time_," I say forcefully. "Go away, for now. I don't want to see you for awhile."

I can't stand to look at Stefan's dejected expression. I notice he moves gingerly as he begins to pull the shirt away from his lap. I gasp, catching sight of _all_ of him, and I swiftly turn away, but not quickly enough because I'm still able to catch the appreciation held in the other women's eyes at how, um… well-endowed Stefan is. Bella smirks. Aylen looks ready to swoon, and Emily sends me a look that tells me that even she's just a little bit jealous.

I try to hide my own thoughts on the matter, but I think in his weakness, Stefan, reads my thoughts, registering my positive appraisal of his goods, too. Fortunately, his good manners keep him for commenting, though I do catch a pleased expression on his face before I decide that it's a good time now to shift my attention to the _other_ dick on the beach.

"And you!" I bellow, whirling around to face Embry.

Despite being nearly as bloody and wounded as his counterpart, Embry had obviously been grinning like a complete idiot over my shoulder, giving Stefan looks of winning triumph during the scolding I was giving my imprint. As soon as Embry sees my expression, though, the grin slides off his face. He winces as I slap his shoulder.

_I hope he hurts like hell!_

"You!" I repeat, pointing my finger at him, "are being an infant. You need to grow up!" I stride closer to him and place my face mere inches away from his. I thoroughly enjoy the fact that he's squirming under my stare. I move just a bit closer so only he can hear the words I hiss at him. "Two _fucking_ years of nothing from you, and you give me _this_ on the first night I see you again? You promised me once that you'd be _the_ man for me. Remember that?! Or have you lost your memory along with your good sense? As far as I'm concerned… even when we were together, and after all of this time, you still haven't fulfilled any one of your promises. NOT ONE! So, _buttercup_, you'd better stop throwing the first punches here, because until you figure out how to be _the_ man that you promised me you'd be, I don't want to hear from your sorry ass, either!"

* * *

**POV: Embry**

* * *

"Embry! What the hell were you thinking?" Jake shouts at me after Leah stomps off in a huff, grabbing Bella, Aylen, and come to think of it, all the rest of the females, along with her.

"He-" I point at Stefan with my chin because everywhere else aches to holy hell. The shifter seems oblivious to me. He's on the other side of the fallen log nursing his own wounds. I grimace at him, already healing.

_Damn, he has our healing powers, too._

"Jake," I say through clenched teeth, "that bastard was taunting me with his mind."

I watch Stefan's lips form an annoyingly self-satisfied smirk. "The boy deserved it, Jacob. His mind truly belongs in the gutter. Be thankful you don't have to be subjected to his filthy, unintelligent thoughts and thoroughly debased mental images whenever you are in his presence. Frankly, it's gotten tiresome. I had a weak moment tonight and because I ruined your evening, I am sincerely sorry. For this, I humbly apologize. I, however, do not regret finally sending that young one some mental images of my own."

He looks pointedly at me when he says_ young one_. I gnash my teeth at him.

"It's become fairly obvious, Embry isn't man enough to handle the fact that Leah's finally found a _real_ man."

Stefan's casually tossed insult has me seeing red all over, and Paul has to tackle me to stop me from jumping the shifter again.

"Knock it off, asshole," Paul snaps in my ear as I forcefully shrug him off. "Goddamn Leah. No good hass ever come of having a girl in the pack. I don't even know why she exists… all this territorial shit over _her_?" Paul mutters angrily, gesturing towards both Stefan and me. "You'd think she was actually good for something besides being pretty."

This comment earns him four equally terrifying growls from myself, Stefan, Seth, and Sam. Jake has also lodges his angry protest, but he's the first to recover his calm.

"Actually," Jake shouts above the snarling and teeth snapping. "There's a reason I invited Stefan out here to be with us at the bonfire tonight. There's something all you guys in the pack need to know…"

_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

* * *

_

First, I just know that I am going to go to hell for writing all that stuff Embry says to Stefan in the hospital! _So, p__lease pray for me._

A huge thanks to all the regular reviewers who keep me writing despite the constant siren's call to manage my real life._ I have so much work to do, it's not even funny._

A shout out to_ hilja, ari11990, Kei Kat Jones (my muse for this story), x Rima x, Team Jacob Always, ItsCuzOfTheFame, and Davii-Hime_. I hope I answered some questions in this chapter. I want to keep it to 40 chapters, so you'll be seeing some longer chapters from here on out. Thank you, too, to all of you new reviewers who are steadily becoming regular responders. I am so thankful for your generosity in feeding the muse with your entertaining comments. I also appreciate all you silent readers who put this story on alert and are also having fun with it.

**In response to some of the earlier reviews, all the questions regarding Jacob's well-being are dealt with, to some extent, in Just One Kiss_ (heretofore, JOK), _which I do realize was hastily finished, and I do plan on going back to rewrite it eventually, by the way.. It just got nominated for some contest, so I'm sort of embarrassed at the amount of poor grammar and punctuation in the latter chapters.** I really need a beta!**

Anyway, I know a lot of you HATE Bella, d_espise_ is perhaps a more apt word for some of you, and can't stomach the idea of the Jacob/Bella pairing to read the JOK story. I honestly hadn't realized the amount of vitriol against her until I wrote the wedding chapter for _this_ story. I do now see that many of us can't get over the whiny, EMO, mary jane characterization of canon Bella. And _I totally understand _why some of you want to retch before reading a story from the Jacob/Bella ship.

So, if you're one of these readers, I want to ease your worry about the Jake of _Choices_. You should know that in JOK, I made him happy, gave him the girl he wanted (I did make her ideal), and he has a really, really good life with a wife who doesn't take him for granted. Really, he does! He has two kids, a house, a business, and a dog, the whole bit! -- _well, not the dog, I was just kidding about that! LOL._

And the whole thing with Stefan and Jake last chapter, is my attempt to satisfy those readers of JOK who were like, _WTF? What did evil Stefan do to Jake to make him all human???!!! I hate Stefan! _

After getting to know him better, **I really like Stefan**, now. I don't think I liked him at first, but he's grown on me and since I've developed him and wrote him especially for Leah. I think all the readers of JOK should know that he's a really spectacular guy. I realize he's a complete fantasy, but hey, I _am_ writing a fantasy fic.! LOL... So I make no apologies for him and his utter perfection.

So, yeah…. anyway, happy reading!

_-- Worried that the Author's Note is getting to be longer than the chapter, so I'm stopping now.--_


	37. The Truth and Nothing But

**The Truth and Nothing But the Truth**

**_POV: Jake_**

_

* * *

_

The teeth gnashing ends when Stefan and Embry at last decide to ignore Paul and turn once again to lick their wounds. I begin to speak, and an uneasy peace returns to the group as they listen to what I have to say. It takes about twenty minutes of non-stop talking on my part to get to the end of my story. I've woven it to explain the hows and whys of my decision to leave the pack. I take my time explaining Stefan's recalcitrant role in making it all happen.

"… and, so, that's why I can't phase anymore."

The stupefied looks of my pack mates greet me when I at last look up from the hypnotizing flames of the bonfire. I avoid looking at Sam, who surely must be ready to explode since I haven't consulted him before doing _any_ of this.

"You gave up being a werewolf for that leech lover?!" Paul whines. "What about _brotherhood_, man?"

I swear to god, if he wasn't my sister's imprint, I would have killed his simpering ass years ago. God forbid Paul ever do _anything_ out of love!

"Is that why Stefan looks like you when he phases?" Jared asks, genuinely curious.

I nod, then look to Stefan who opens his mouth to answer.

"When shifters perform a removal ceremony, we remove and absorb not only the form of the magical being, but also their supernatural powers. Jake will always carry the alpha werewolf DNA. He, like each of your fathers, will continue to pass on the werewolf gene, but Jake, himself, will be unable to phase into a werewolf any longer."

A stunned silence falls over us.

"So, then, does this make _you_ one of _us_ now?" Seth asks after a few minutes.

"Yes, in a way, I suppose it does," Stefan answers thoughtfully. "More importantly, however, any child I sire will possess Jake's alpha trait and will be of the LaPush pack."

A loud muttering ensues after that little bit of information is revealed.

"Wait, Stefan, help me understand, something," Seth continues, brows knit. "You and my sister are together, right?"

I feel Embry tense at my side, but he says nothing as Seth breaks his inquiry down.

"So, let's say Leah, you know, eventually has a baby with you, Stefan, after you're married and everything. Then, would this baby be 100% werewolf because you've absorbed Jake's powers?"

Embry snarls at the suggestion of another baby and the mere _possibility_ of marriage. He really looks ready to attack again. I place a hand at the crook of Embry's elbow, staying him. Every other man in the circle casts a wary glance his way, readying themselves to move away from Stefan if necessary. For now, though seemingly ready to strike, Embry keeps himself in check.

"Well," I say, to keep Stefan from being the one to answer, "technically yes. But this is the part I think all of you are going to have to stretch a little to understand. The theoretical baby Stefan would have with said female wolf, would be a shifter, too. Werewolf AND shifter. Just like one of _us_ in the pack already is." I turn to look at Embry, who narrows his gaze on me.

"What are you talking about, Jake?" Embry snarls, unsure why I would know of his true heritage, and unclear as to what his lineage has to do with the current conversation.

"It's about time we lay the facts out on the table, fellas," I say, motioning with my hands and arms that this is _it_, that we've got to all be on the same page here. "Embry, you're particularly important to the future of our pack. Your father's blood would have made you alpha of the Makah pack, and your mother's a shifter…"

I look at the guys in the circle as I drop this bit of information. Sam and Quil, wearing the same stunned expression, simultaneously turn to stare open-mouthed at me. As the information sinks in, they also share twin looks of relief, realizing that their secret fears about there fathers' extramarital affairs are baseless.

I know how they feel.

Embry's dad was Makah _and_ carried the _alpha _gene, at that!

"…You, apparently, are the sort of _new_ werewolf we in LaPush should be trying to evolve into," I continue, gesturing toward Embry. "Any kid you have with… a…. a… mature werewolf female… ah… like Leah…"

I watch Stefan move uncomfortably at my words and I purposefully U-turn my explanation.

"… or even a shifter, for that matter…" Embry shoots me a hateful glare and I stumble in my explanation.

"...Ah... is going to be pretty powerful, too, just not as powerful as… uh..." I can't seem to finish my sentence. I am having a hell of a time trying to keep myself from looking at Leah's imprint, and the even sharper look Embry sends me has me completely forgetting where I'm going with all of this.

I _know_ that Embry still carries a brightly burning torch for Leah. Its fire hasn't abated during the entire two years they'd been apart. If anything, her absence in his life seems to further ignite the flame, keeping it blazing even after all this time. Any mention of her name in his presence always results in some volatile show of emotion, like today, for example. The passionate display earlier leaves little question that Embry still has powerful feelings wherever Leah's concerned. So, I know that if I keep up with my reckless train of thought, it will be me on the receiving end of Embry's violent attack this time - and I'm human now, _defenseless_.

I finally give up my explanation out of pure self-preservation. The knowing look Stefan sends me tells me that he, too, knows all about Embry's continuing feelings for Leah and is sympathetic to my plight in my attempt to explain it all to Embry. Stubborn ass that he is.

"Whoa, wait a hot second," Paul says, "Why the hell are we trying to _evolve_ into anything? The vampires, at least the ones we know of, are long gone."

"No, unfortunately, the blood thieves will _never_ be gone," Stefan says softly, menacingly. "Additionally, I fear, you'll have new aberrations to contend with as well. This is why there are cross-prints between shifters and werewolves occurring more and more in the reservations I've been doing my research in. For now, these thralls, you know them as _imprints_, have been concentrated in the coastal areas. There have only been two other instances in the past that show increased numbers of cross-prints like this that is happening now. The last time was because of the coming of the_ Cold Ones_ from both Europe and Asia."

A silent shudder goes through the crowd of men.

"How long before we should expect these… uh… foreign _aberrations_ to affect us directly?" asks Sam, who has, up until this point, been uncharacteristically silent.

"Previously, it took about three-quarters of a century to fully evolve some packs before the coming of the _Cold Ones_," answers Stefan. "So perhaps you won't see these new monsters in your lifetime, unless, of course, you decide to prolong your life on your own. Your job now, though, is to ensure that your pack is genetically strengthened so that when the time comes your children and your children's children will be strong enough to fight and protect what is theirs."

There is a mixture of relieved and confused murmurings coming from the men around the fire.

"So, basically, all _we're_ supposed to do is make super-powered, fighting, half-breed babies by hooking up with hot, shifter girls? Hey, I'm totally down with that," announces Brady in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Jared, Collin, and Seth all nod in unison, trying to suppress grins. This, quite obviously, wasn't going to be such a terrible task for _them_ to undertake. The men with human female imprints, however, look more than a little worried.

"Dude, _whatever_ sort of kid you have, it _better_ imprint on a shifter, Jake," whispers a perturbed Quil, to my left. "I can't believe you just dissed us like this!"

I shake my head. It wasn't like I didn't think of this reaction before. It isn't until just now, though, that it really feels like I am forsaking the pack for my own selfish wants.

Sam puts up a staying hand, quieting everyone.

"What sort of evidence do you have that would indicate the coming of new prey for us, Stefan? Do you expect us to blindly believe all of this is true simply because you say it is?"

Stefan says nothing, obviously insulted at the suggestion that his findings could possibly be incorrect.

Heads swivel to the owner of the next voice that speaks up.

"The Makahs have recently started their transformations. I thought it just might be because some new vampires were starting a coven in the area," Embry suddenly supplies, much to the surprise of the entire group. "So, what _that shitty shifter _has to say, might have some actual merit. I brought Aylen here tonight, so she could tell us all what was going on with the Makah. She's like me, part shifter, mostly werewolf. She's never seen anyone phase into a werewolf before. She wants to learn how to shift into a were- herself because the current alpha there wants a female in the pack. I brought her so she could learn about us. She was also curious to see if she imprinted on one of you guys."

"Whoa, hold up dude, you _kissed_ that girl in front of all of us! Aren't you _with_ this Aylen, chick? Why would you bring her here to see if she imprints? What's _wrong_ with her that you don't want her?!?" of course it is Paul who is doing the asking.

"I'm not _with_ her and there's nothing wrong with her, dipshit" Embry replies quickly, earning a growl from Paul. Embry's clearly upset at his earlier irrational behavior, distraught enough, it seems, to have momentarily forgotten that Stefan is still among us. "The alpha of Aylen's pack is worried about whatever is happening. He made her come with me when I said Leah would probably be in town. They know we have a female here in LaPush. He wanted Aylen to meet Leah and learn from her. The Makah strongly believe that having a female in the pack is really important, really coveted... Besides…"

Why the notion of the importance of female werewolves never occurred to us here in LaPush, I don't know, but considering the cumulative amount of mind power and testosterone levels in this gathering of brawn over brains, minus one shifter, it's perhaps not that hard to figure out why we didn't value Leah's contribution to the pack as much as we _should_ have.

"…there are very few guys over there who are old enough for Aylen to be with. And now, there are some new men in the area sniffing around the Makah women who look a whole hell of a lot like…like... _him," _Embry motions disdainfully toward Stefan. "The hell if I want Aylen to follow the same fate as Leah! I want her with a true werewolf for fuckssake! Aylen's my friend and she deserves the best. Just a friend, guys, but after today, I'm not so sure about _that_ anymore."

_Well, whose damn fault is **that**?_ I think silently to myself.

"Friends with benefits, apparently," mutters Paul, earning himself a threatening growl and snarl from Embry.

"No! She's just a really good friend, you _fucking asshole_," Embry bellows loudly, furious at Paul's lascivious implication. "I love her like a true best friend should, _that's all!!_"

I watch Stefan suddenly whip his head around to catch Embry's eye.

An unspoken message passes between them.

I watch as a parade of emotions cross Embry's face.

First there is suspicion…

… then, disbelief…

… some denial…

…at last, clear-eyed understanding…

and finally, remorse.

Stefan is sitting on his haunches, his shoulder, though apparently still tender, mostly healed.

He's watching Embry as intently as I am.

Finally, a grief-stricken expression settles onto Embry's face. I watch his hands shake as he brings them up to drag through his dark, disheveled hair. I hear his ragged outtake of breath as his eyes clench shut.

It feels like years before Embry finally looks up at Stefan with one single question still glittering in his eyes.

I keep my mouth closed and my jaw clenched as I watch Stefan give him one final, and brief nod.

I hear a gut-wrenching sob release from Embry's throat only a moment before I discover just air beside me.

Embry is gone.

I look to Stefan who places one thought in my head.

_So, now... he knows._

_

* * *

A New Voice_

_**POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

I sit in my living room surrounded by a gaggle of females, more, I think, than I have been around in a helluva long time. I've stopped seething, but I haven't stopped pacing.

"Leah, sit down," Bella sighs. "You're making my head hurt just watching you."

I throw myself into the nearest armchair and settle enough to take in the worried looks of the women around me.

"Men suck!" I shout, to no one in particular.

"At least you have _two_ who really, really want you," says an unfamiliar voice, a hint of jealousy in her tone. I whip my head around to stare at her, this girl, Aylen. "And, I know at least _one_ of them still loves you."

My breath catches and everyone in the room suddenly loses the ability to breathe.

"Embry doesn't _love_ Leah, Aylen," Bella explains, surprisingly frustrated, avoiding my gaze. "He wouldn't have done half of the things he's done to her if he did. He _left_ her. TWICE. Both times she's needed him. Both times, total fail on his part, and you know what? Both times, Stefan was there to help her see who she is beyond Embry. If Embry _does_ love her, then Stefan loves her best of all."

_OK, when did ex-bloodsucker lover start paying attention to Embry and me? And besides that, she does have a point._

"But that doesn't mean Embry doesn't still love her," Alyen insists. I watch Emily reluctantly nod in agreement.

"Men do stupid things when they're in love," Emily says, touching her scars, thinking of Sam. "Embry's scared, Leah. And insecure, too, I think."

Unconsciously, my mind wanders to recall of all of the women Embry's been with before me. There's a painful pang in my heart as I think of the phantom number of women he must've been with in these last two years. I scowl at the thought of the internet pages that offer some mediocre proof of what my heart accuses him of.

I let out an skeptical huff.

_Embry? Insecure. Yeah, right._

Aylen seems to catch my train of thought.

"Leah, have you taken a good look at your boyfriend, lately?" she asks, meaningfully. "Because, seriously, you should. All of us in this room, each one of us, had a pretty hard time ripping our eyes away from the sight of _him_. Imagine what that does to Embry."

I look around, only to be met with the guilty nods of all those around me. I'm slightly confused.

"Wait, do you mean _Stefan_?" I ask incredulously. "I mean, we've imprinted and everything, but he's my friend. A really good friend!"

"Don't you mean, a _really,_ _really_ good friend?" Emily asks with a mischievous twinkle. "You seriously can't have us believing you _haven't_… "

Her voice trails off as she sees the look on my face. Her intake of breath has me, eyes glistening, turning to stare straight at my cousin.

"Leah… oh, honey, after all this time?"

_Well, I've thought about it, but…_

"He's been on the west coast, out here, most of this time," I explain. "I mostly see his sister. We're starting a business together, you know."

A disgusted snort comes from Bella's side of the room. I smile, despite myself.

_Izzy._

I bow my head, my moment of amusement leaving me as soon as it hits.

"It's always only been Embry," I admit softly to the group. "Only Embry,"

I clear my throat, pushing thoughts of that insensitive prick aside for now.

"Anyway, you know the way Quil is with his imprint? How the guys say you love your imprint in whatever way they need at the time? Well, I just don't need Stefan _that_ way… at least not right now, and he seems to understand that."

Aylen stares at me, mouth agape.

_I bet she'd have no qualms about giving Stefan a good ride._

"Anyway, what's up with you?" I throw my words out at this girl, who's turning out to be a complete enigma. "Why are you accusing your _boyfriend_ of being in love with someone else, me in particular. And why are you lusting after Stefan?"

She shoots me a confused glance.

"Wait. You seriously think I'm _with_ Embry, after everything he's done to me?" she asks, bewildered. "You were on the discussion board! You saw how he was with me out there at the bonfire! _No_ _respect!_ No, Leah, Embry and I are better friends than we were _ever_ lovers. I'm here today because my alpha made me come to meet _you_. And even if there _was_ a modicum of interest on my part for Embry, he would never, ever have me. That stupid kiss back there, was all for show. He even sort of warned me it might happen, and pre-apologized for it if it came to pass."

It's my turn to stare at her in wide-eyed speculation. She gives me a smirk.

"He's been moping around my reservation under the guise of his being an environmentalist watching the guys who've come to survey the land. _Whatever!_ What he's been really doing is trying to make amends for the shit he put me through, before." She shrugs, nonchalantly, "I've sort of been taking advantage of it."

_Ahhh, a girl after my own heart._

I grin at her, she returns it and then says something that has my heart flipping.

"Leah, as far as I know, there's been no one he's been with since, well, since the last time I posted to the discussion board… In other words, there's been no one for him since _you_."

* * *

A Rock and a Hard Place

**POV: Embry**

* * *

I run away from the bonfire as my brain replays my last silent conversation with Stefan.

_I couldn't have put it better myself, Embry. Just good friends. I love Leah like a best friend should, that's all!_

Stefan's echoing of my words thrust forefront in my mind as soon as the sound of my repudiation of Paul's assumption melts in the air.

_Earlier, all those images of Leah, those were __**your**__ memories, you imbecile, __**not**__ mine!_

Of course, the shifter revealed all of this only _after_ I tried to maim him. I should be infuriated with _him_, but now… now… _I don't know_. It sort of serves me right, I guess. Aylen's been telling me that I must've wrongly jumped to conclusions two years ago and that Leah's silence does not immediately implicate her with cheating on me.

I try to convince myself that I should be mad at _her_ and at _him_, but now I find that I'm mostly infuriated with _myself_.

_Leah will murder me for revealing this, Embry, but really, you ponce, if you'd been paying any attention at all, you would've realized for yourself that she's only truly ever loved you!_

Why does it take a virtual stranger, a man I despise, even, to shed light on the actual truth?

_But what about the baby that was lost? Isn't that what you two have been trying to do all this time? _I'd asked this in silent desperation, not wanting to think about what I'd done if the baby wasn't Stefan's. _Wasn't the baby two years ago **yours**? _

As his answer reverberates in my mind, the truth of his answer is reflected in his eyes.

_The baby was __**yours, **__Embry__**. **__Yours._

Mine.

And I'd left her alone.

I'd left her...

with _him_.

Again.

Shit.

I storm into my house and see my mom on the couch. She looks up from what she's doing, giving me a concerned once-over.

I shove myself into the recliner, covering my face with my hands.

"Embry, what's wrong?"

I let out a sorrowful whine.

_What the fuck isn't wrong?_

"I nearly killed Stefan today," I readily admit. "Leah's renewed her vow never to speak to me again. Oh, and yeah, I almost forgot, _something_ wicked this way comes."

I hear my mom get up from her seat to come teeter on the arm of my chair. She runs her fingers through my hair.

"Are you ok?"

I shake my head.

"I told you before, you need to let Leah be." my mom reprimands, "She'll come back to you when she's ready. You're causing yourself, and her, too much pain this way!"

"Mom, I love her, I've tried staying away. I'm miserable!"

She nods. She's seen my spiral downward to become this… _pathetic_ creature in font of her.

"Yes, Embry, you _do_ love her, I know. But, you haven't been showing it, son."

I look at her, angry that she would say such a thing. Of course I've been _showing_ it. I've been showing it to every goddamn person who's uttered her name out loud to me for the last 23 months, two weeks, and six days, four hours, and 22 minutes.

"Anger and jealousy, Embry? Is this the way you think you should show her you love her? You are _not_ becoming the man she needs. All you're doing is revealing how you are still not ready to have her in your life. Let her be, Embry. Let her do what she must. Use this time to grow strong for her. Do not begrudge her this. You must _show_ her you love her."

"Mom, what the hell do you mean-?"

Our conversation is interrupted by a knock at our door. My mom leaves my side to answer.

"Hello Jacob, Stefan," I hear my her say.

I groan. Why do they continue to torture me? I feel their presence in the room before they announce themselves.

"What the hell do you want," I grouse. "Come to rub my nose in my complete stupidity, too?"

Jake sits and Stefan stands behind him.

"Look, Embry, you left before we could finish. You do need to know that the legend is true. Leah's going to have to go through with having this baby with Stefan. So-"

I watch my mom in the far room. She is eavesdropping. Her eyes meet mine and she somberly nods her head.

I look at Stefan with unmitigated hatred. What the hell do they want me to do about _this _sickening fact? Just stand by and let this happen? Or, maybe, make me watch some sort of ancient mating ritual or something? What sort of sicko is this guy~? And why did Jacob seem to be friends with him, my nemesis?

"She needs to know you're ok with it," Jake says.

"What?!" I roar, horrified at the audacity of their request. "You can't be _serious_!? Let her do what she needs to do, but for godssakes Jake, please don't make me tell her that it's ok."

"Embry, this isn't about just you or Leah. It's not even about just _Stefan and Leah_. It's about _all of us_," Jake pleads.

"You're not even part of the pack, anymore, Jake! And it's been two fucking years," I shout. "After all this time, why the hell didn't he impregnate her already? Then we wouldn't even have to be here right now."

"She couldn't, rather, wouldn't," Stefan admits softly.

Stefan's words allow a pleasant glow of masculine pride and satisfaction to radiate through my chest.

It is short lived.

"What would you have me do, Embry?" Stefan continues, agitated. "I'm not a rapist!"

_For this I am utterly thankful._

"Leah knows what's expected of her as alpha female of this pack," interjects Jake. "Embry, don't make Leah feel like she's sacrificing her only chance of happiness with you by doing what she is destined to do with Stefan. Lord only knows what she stills sees in you after that idiotic stunt you pulled today!"

I see my mom nodding her agreement with Jake. I look away from her to find Stefan placing his fingers against his brow. I feel a tingling in my head.

"You didn't love Leah enough to fight to keep her, Embry." These are words Stefan's been uncovering in my mind, he's replaying words I've said to someone else before. "You left that strong girl broken and alone. The reason she's hurting, even now after all this time? That's on _you_. You left her with no where to turn," And just as I didn't spare Sam's feeling when I'd spoken these very same words to him, Stefan forges on. "Fortunately, I was there, willing to give her what she needed. Sympathy, friendship, a bit of happiness and healing time. No, you don't get a say in _this_, Embry, not this time. Because I love her enough to keep you and your bitterness away from her if necessary."

I glare at him. This man, who's come to Leah's rescue whenever I left her wanting.

"Stop sifting through my memories," I snarl at Stefan. "Stop throwing my words into my face."

"Please, Embry, it seems as though the only way I can get you to listen and understand is when I use words you yourself have spoken before," Stefan quietly explains. "If you decide to fight me on this, I understand absolutely. If you fight, know that I will continue to exist in her life. We've imprinted. We can't undo that now. We could try, but a part of her will always be mine. _Always_. Know that I will not let _this_ go. I can't. Not when I've come so close."

_They've grown impossibly closer_, I think as I look at him. Likely no sex, but quite possibly _worse_. He's telling the truth, there_ is_ love between them.

"If you choose this way, Embry, know that she will need your unqualified acceptance of me and of who she is when she is with me," Stefan continues. "Not just for now, but for the rest of her life - for the rest of your lives together. She'll need your enduring trust. She'll need your unlimited love. Not anger or jealousy. If you can accept her as thus, then by all means, take her completely into your life and endeavor to try to understand my constant involvement in hers."

Behind him, I see my mom frown and shake her head so vigorously I think it might tumble off her shoulders.

"If you are able to do all these things for her, then and only then will I consider you a worthy rival. Know this: I have every intention of winning her." Stefan warns. "I can't let her go now. We've grown too close, and I can honestly say, at this very moment, that I am not sorry for this desire that I have for Leah. I can also say that, yes, I have grown to love her, enough to want to protect her and be her partner for as long as I live. I have seen you at your worst, Embry, and I truly don't believe you deserve Leah as you currently are. If I may speak plainly, I know that should you choose this route that I have just outlined, it is without a doubt that I will win her, and in the end, you just might just lose any opportunity you might have had to claim her as yours after I am gone."

I want to launch myself at him, but realize as my hands grip the armchair that if I do, I'd only be proving his point.

"… IF you _can't _do that for her, then for her sake, for all our sakes, man, allow her the peace of mind to do what she needs to… _with me_. She will be yours in the end. You will still need to trust her implicitly and love her boundlessly, if you choose this way. But if you do, I promise you, Embry, that you will be rid of me as soon as our baby breathes its first breath of life. You will have to be there for Leah and our little one. Leah and your pack will need this from you. This will be the last request I will ever ask of you, one that will make you the ultimate hero."

I glance at him, wondering why he wouldn't stay for her and his baby. I don't open my mouth. It's entirely too much for me to process and I continue to morosely sit motionless, listening to whatever else he has to say.

"-But _you_ have to decide. Embry. Are you staying or walking away? You have to tell her one way or the other. If you let her leave without a word, she'll continue to hold onto her broken heart, barely breathing, in this godawful holding pattern, waiting for you to say _something_. She'll never allow herself to heal, to be whole enough for _either_ you or me. I am telling you now, Leah will not be able to do what is ahead of her alone. Either choice, Embry, I am begging you to tell her what you are to her, and commit yourself to be there for her in whatever capacity that you can. I love her enough to wish her that. I do love her, Embry. But I suspect, _you_ love her even more than I."

I rub my hand against my forehead. I can't think with the both of them here.

"Please go," I croak, unable to look at either Stefan or Jake. "I have to think. Just… please go."

It seems only minutes until I hear them bid farewell to my mom. I hear the creak of the front door and their receding footsteps as they make their way down the steps of the porch.

* * *

Later...

**_POV: Embry_**

_

* * *

_

I take the long road to Leah's house. I still have yet to find Aylen. I'm afraid that I'll discover them together, even though, that's what this whole day was supposed to be about.

I slowly approach the Clearwater home. I can hear female voices inside.

_Hmm… still there then._

I drum up the courage to knock on the door, knowing full well my presence is neither expected, nor desired.

I hear Leah's voice call out to Bella, "Hey, I betcha it's Jake!"

A pleased murmur travels through the entire group of women, catching my ear.

"What makes you think it's just Jake, Leah?" calls another female's voice I can't readily identify.

The door pulls open without even a "Who is it?" and I'm greeted by the stunned beauty of Leah mid-smile.

Her eyes narrow as soon as she realizes I am not the man she is expecting.

"Go away," she says. Her glare sharpening, her lips forming a scowl.

"No, not this time," I say quietly.

"But why, Embry? What do you think you're going to accomplish standing here that you couldn't have done ages ago?"

"I know the _truth_ Leah, about the baby."

"Did Stefan tell you?" She sighs, resigned.

"I asked."

She lets out a sound of disgust. "Well, it's about fucking time!"

"You could've told me, Leah."

"When exactly would that have been convenient, Embry?" She's staring out beyond me now. "Mmmm? Oh, I know, how silly of me! I could have told you after you called me a whore. Or _maybe_ a better time would have been after I was nearly comatose from the loss of our baby and Stefan was staying with me just to make sure I was taking my medication and taking care of myself? Would that have been a good time?"

I wince.

"And _before_ you go blaming Stefan for revealing your brand spanking new nickname for me, you can just forget it! I guessed, because it wasn't that hard to figure out. Nothing else would have sent Stefan off on such a pissed off rampage than you disparaging my character. And honestly, you don't have a varied vocabulary."

I watch her place a carefully manicured fingertip against her chin.

"Hmmmm, now let me see," she says, faking thoughtfulness. The muscles in my jaw clench at the sound of her sarcasm. "I bet I can guess what you are here to say. You're here to say,_ 'I'm sorry_.'"

The sing-song tone she adopts nearly throws me over the edge. I stare at her now. The vision of her reminds me of that godawful day I wore a shirt that smelled like her because of her ridiculous temper tantrum. Anger blossoms in my head. I love her so much. But, at this very moment, I truly, truly hate her actions and words. I want to throttle her!

"No, Leah, I'm not here to say I'm sorry." I am matter-of-fact, proud there is not a trace of anger in my voice. She rewards me with a confused and stricken expression. "Because, frankly, Leah, I don't believe I have _anything_ to be sorry about."

I watch her mouth open and close like a gasping fish. All of her self-righteous anger dissipates, replaced by her absolute shock at my unexpected reply.

"I'm here to find out why you didn't tell me what the hell was going on with you and Stefan _before_ I saw you with him at the hospital," I pause to grab onto the doorframe, my vehemence now appearing. I purposefully inject myself into her personal space. "I want to know why I had to find out that you had every intention of going though with getting impregnated by Stefan and keeping me in the dark about it. While you're at it, why don't you tell me why your brother announced you were engaged to Stefan that night?" I pause for breath and continue...

"I'm curious, Leah, would you have passed a baby that was his off as mine, if I hadn't gotten you pregnant first?"

I watch a flicker of surprise, some hurt, then guilt finally settle in the depths of her gaze. I watch the anger and her feelings of hatred for me rise as I accuse her of all the abominably hurtful things I've been secretly harboring against her all these months.

"Why was it, Leah, that you asked Stefan to tell you that he _loved_ you that night?" I hiss through my gritted teeth. "Why, Leah, am I the one who is wrong to react the way I did when I found you? Weren't you my girlfriend at the time? You were wrapped in another man's arms asking him to tell you something that only I had a right to tell you!"

I force my head closer to hers, breathing down her neck now. "Why am _I_ the one at fault here? Did you even stop to think how frantic with worry I was? I got lost at least three times on the way to a strange hospital, in a strange town nearly as soon as I got Bella's voicemail. I nearly killed myself trying to get to you as quickly as humanly possible. So, tell me, why am I the villain? If you stop and take a look at it from where I'm standing, all the pieces fit together, pointing to you cheating on me and trying to have a baby that wasn't mine at all!" I stop again to gulp in air.

"Leah, why should I be sorry when you're the one who broke my heart that night by pleading with another guy to tell you that he loved you!?"

I watch her close her eyes, and try not to be moved as she chokes back a sob. _I hurt, too, dammit!_ I hate doing this to her, knowing I'm ripping open a barely healed wound. But she needs to understand the hell she put me through, too. She wasn't the only one who has been suffering.

At least _she_ hadn't been alone through it all! I shake off the desolation I've felt since walking out of the hospital that night.

"So, no, Leah, I am not the least bit sorry for any of this because maybe, finally, today, I'll get the whole truth from you," I pound my fist against the doorframe for emphasis.

"_That_ is why I am here!"

* * *

_**POV: Leah **_

**_warning: contains M content stop and restart at double astrix (**)_**

* * *

I hear his words and they rip into me, tearing new wounds across my heart.

_I honestly had no idea. And I had no inclination, before seeing him on my doorstep a few minutes ago, to wonder what Embry had been going through during the absolute worst night of my sorry life._

I am astounded. I try desperately to quickly process what he's saying. I have to close my eyes to block off his piercing glare. Without sight, my other senses sharpen. I hear the women inside stealthily make their way out of my mother's house through the back door.

I hear Embry's ragged breathing, and feel the humidity of his breath against my cheek.

I step backwards, removing myself from the closeness of him, quickly glancing into the great room to ascertain that indeed the women have cleared out to offer me privacy. I know my mom is working late and that Seth is spending the night over at Brady's.

So I am alone.

Alone...

with Embry Call.

After all this time.

This is not exactly the way I'd pictured it would be.

Embry does not allow me my space. For every backwards step I take, he moves forward, until I can take it no more. I am finally forced to place both of my hands squarely against his chest and shove him away.

He doesn't budge. Instead, he grabs onto my hands and pulls me into him. I stumble foreword, landing hard against his angular frame.

"Why don't you trust me?" he asks roughly against the side of my head as I feel the heat of him along the full length of my body. "Why, Leah, couldn't you trust me with the truth?"

"You couldn't handle the truth, Embry!" I cry, frustrated. "You can barely handle it _now,_ and we're not even together!"

"You never even gave me a chance to try, Leah," his voice is raw.

A sob catches in my throat. I feel his hand climb its way up my back, twining in my hair, pulling on the raven locks of it, making me tilt my face up so he can look at me. He is far from gentle. "You'd been lying to me from the get go and you know it," he says quietly, his heart in his voice.

"I didn't tell you because I wanted to spare you the unbearable pain of all of it, from imprint to miscarriage, Embry, from nights I thought that Stefan would fall apart on me and go insane," I attempt to give voice to the long practiced reasons for my silence that I've played over and over in the solitude of my head. "You didn't need to worry, Embry. You didn't need to hurt. You don't need me to screw up your life!" I insist, gripping the material of his shirt, then I let go to pound my fists ineffectively against his chest.

"But by keeping silent, Leah, you lied to me. Good intentions, or not, Leah, you kept things from me that you shouldn't have," he thunders, gripping me even more tightly to him. "I love you, Leah, but you've never loved me enough to trust that I could handle it. Shielding me from possible pain is _not_ love! So, now it's _your turn_ to think about it. Have you really given me a fair shake at fulfilling any of the promises I've made to you? Have you shown me that you can trust me? Have you demonstrated your faith in my ability to stand by you? Tell me, Leah! Have you!?"

I tremble against him, unwilling to recognize the truth of his tirade.

"Leah!" he implores, "Have you allowed me to truly love you?!"

I stare at him wide-eyed, realizing with sudden clarity, that I indeed _haven't_ shown him any of it.

No hope.

No faith.

No trust.

…No love.

Not. At. All.

The dawning of this epiphany has me suddenly unable to breathe, much less speak.

My silence seems to further incite him and I can feel his frustration with me mount. I let out a dismayed little sound.

The next thing I remember is Embry wrapping his fingers into my hair, pulling my face closer to his. The feel of his lips crashing down onto mine erases all thought from my mind.

"Is this the only way you know how to show me, Leah?" he rasps, claiming my lips again. "My god, how I've missed your sassy mouth!" His lips drag against my neck, the stubble of his jaw raking angrily against my soft skin. His hands on me are possessive and learned. He knows just where to touch, where to linger, where to caress.

"Tell, me, Buttercup, have you missed us being together this way?" his husky voice sends shivers down my spine as he traces a path down my side that always arouses me, impatiently pushing my clothes aside. I whine lustfully, my own hands gliding across his shoulders, moving lower to knead the well-contoured muscles of his back beneath the soft jersey of his shirt.

******

He grinds his jeans-clad self into me as his hands roughen in their claim of my body. His movements against me leave no question of his want. I am laying on the sofa now, and have no idea how I got here.

His thigh is heavy between my legs. I can feel his rigid desire as he thrusts himself against me. I arch into him, giving him more access to my parched body, which has at last discovered water after such a prolonged drought. There is nothing but _him_, nothing but Embry and his amazing hands, fingers, mouth, and toungue doing wondrous things to me.

"Embry, I need you…" I whimper breathlessly, arching my lower body into his again, pleading wordlessly for him to join me in this prelude to wild abandon. "Please…I need you. I need you... now."

"No, Leah." He growls into the valley of my chest. "This time it's NOT about _you_ and_ your need!_"

With one hand, he captures both of mine, which had been wandering to his button-fly.

"This is about _me_ and _my_ _need." _His head whips up, his dark eyes capture mine_,_ "this is about _my need_ to finally show you how much I love you. How much I've _always_ loved you."

He keeps holds both of my hands above my head, stilling my desperate movements.

I feel him push his other hand between us. He glides it lower, sliding possessively over the flatness of my belly, finding his way below the waistband of my low-cut jeans. He demands entrance and deftly gains it... at last touching the very part of me that continues to yearn longingly for him. I shamelessly allow for this all to happen as I squirm to get even closer to the warmth of his still completely clothed form. I revel in his familiar touch traveling along the damp apex of my want for him. I move, adjusting myself to allow his clever fingers entry. I gasp as he finally penetrates me as I've so long desired.

"Ahhh, Buttercup, so ready, to accept me _this_ _way_," he whispers hungrily, kissing the indentation between my waist and hip. "I wish you'd give me a chance to show you in other ways besides this, too," He moves against me to relieve some of his own ache.

"But if this is the only way I can make you understand, Leah," his tone is just a little bit angry now, "If this is the only way you'll let me love you the way I completely do, then, so be it." His aggressive actions and words leave me speechless and still wanting all of him.

His hand moves in deep, rhythmic strokes and he has me begging for release. After years of teaching my body to respond to his unique brand of exquisitely pleasurable torture, his adept ministrations catapult me to the highest of heights. And with only a flick of a finger, he has me shrieking his name as I crest the cliff, flying apart in his arms.

**

"Embry?" I whisper as soon as I feel my heartbeat steady. He holds me still beneath him trying to calm his own labored breathing. The heaviness of his body entraps me, hindering my escape.

_Not that I have the strength to._

At last, he releases my hands, tracing with his fingertips the length of one arm down to my side, and back up to touch the dip at my collarbone. My eyes flutter closed as he runs his hand along my neckline, to gently stroke my jaw, and at last, cup my face in the palm of his hand. His other hand releases me, removing his fingers from my depths to clutch desperately at my left hip beneath my jeans.

"Tell me, Leah, has Stefan ever made you feel this way?" His insistent demand is softened only by the brush of his thumb along the apples of my cheeks. His own lips caress mine, gently nipping my well-kissed mouth.

I shake my head, "no."

He makes a pleased sound, gliding his tongue against the seam of my lips, begging entrance again. He kisses me thoroughly, until I am moving impatiently against him again.

"…And he won't. Not ever," Embry vows. "I won't stop fighting for us, Leah. I won't let fate decide _this_, not as long as you let me love you the way I do."

I think of the baby we lost. I think of us, our stolen moment in time that led to _that_ awful pain and heartache.

I am too scared to try to cheat fate again.

I think of the baby that is foretold. I think of the legend and the breaking of the curse. I think of the pack.

I fear what I must do, and the truth I must tell Embry... today.

I lay in silence, listening to and feeling Embry's strong heartbeat against mine.

I could die in his embrace.

I could just die knowing what I must tell him.

"Love me, Embry, please," I plead tearfully, "…and please say you'll still love me when I trust you with the truth of what I have to do."

"No matter what, Leah, I will always love you."

* * *

**A/N**: OK, no tantrums now…. but it's going to seem very Stefan/Leah for a little bit. It's going to come around, though.


	38. Two Weddings

**My Best Friend's Wedding**

**_POV: Leah_**

_

* * *

_

~ *~

We must all face

the choice

between what is easy

and what is right.

~ *~

My toes dig into the sand of First Beach, as I play the role of Maid of Honor once again. This time, for my two _human_ best friends. I glance over Jake's broad shoulders to catch a glimpse of the profile of the Best Man. How apt the title, I muse, for _he_ is the best man in my life. The one I still love and would choose in a moment had I any courage within me to take the leap, and had I been ignorant of the existence of another who needs me more than life itself. I know it is not time yet for Embry and me. But I still hold onto the hope that despite what's passed, he will still find it in his heart to hold onto a love that might still be ours one day.

It's been a long time since that bonfire that brought us back together. But we parted ways so he could finish school and I could finally give in to Felicia's wishes. The distance allows us to cultivate a closeness again and his letters continue to find their way to me. They tell me of his life. Yet unmarried, Embry's made his name known in the environmental movement. Not a crunchy granola type of role that we'd all once believe he'd slide into, but a real mover and shaker. He'd taken architecture at Stanford, along with his environmental engineering major. Then, developed ways to build homes and office buildings using clean energy through the building process, as well as, after inhabited.

I write him letters of my life, too. I focus my news on my fledgling, but increasingly popular fashion line, GirlieWolf Designs, partnering with one of my design school friends and Felicia in opening a boutique of our own that's growing by leaps and bounds along the West Coast. I do not write Embry about Stefan.

The reason why Stefan and I aren't officially together yet is because I want to concentrate on my career. At least, if ever asked, _this_ is my _official_ line.

Since I'm going to go through with this having Stefan's baby thing, I know my mom, always a stickler for doing things "The Right Way," is going to insist I get married. Really, though, it's not just my mom and, surprisingly, my brother who insist on convention. I want it, too. Things are already too unconventional for my comfort in my life as it is.

I figure I'm giving up enough as it is to play out my role as alpha female. And if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it _my_ way - the right way _for me_. And as much as it might surprise my pack mates, I am still girly enough to have dreamed of my wedding day, no matter how short my actual married life might be.

And frankly, I'm not ready to make a promise like _that_ without having the true intention of staying faithful. Even though Stefan's not my soul mate, I do deeply care for him enough to marry him and keep my vows for however long it takes to break the curse. So, though I might already be leading an unconventional life, I most definitely will _not_ just "take one" for the team, or in this case, _the pack. _I have zero desire to live my life on the reservation, scorned as a single-mother with some non-Quileute as my baby's daddy, being looked down on with pity by those in town who have no idea that there are werewolves among us.

I've personally had enough of that kind of humiliation, _t__hank you very much._

I've told Embry as much. I can't say he was particularly happy about it, but he had seemed reluctantly accepting.

I do love Stefan dearly and know I would enjoy having him in my life, and, more than likely, he'd be great to have in my bed. But his research has him working in places I'd rather not stay, so I opt for a long distance, sort of more-than-friends relationship instead. I'd say I'm fairly good at those. His absence restores my personal space, my autonomous thinking, and I know Stefan knows how bothered I am when he is near. So, he always hands me the mail and my stationary before he goes, knowing exactly who I'll be writing to just as soon as he leaves.

Embry still hasn't imprinted, I know because, to his dismay, I still ask the question. On the phone, during a rare call, I ask. In my letters to him as haphazardly spaced as they might be, I ask. As ridiculous as it may be, there's still a nagging feeling about _his imprinting_ in the bowels of my heart. And as shitty as it is of me to regularly inquire, I sometimes think that maybe one day,he might just surprise me and say, yes.

Then I won't have to feel this awful about making the heartbreaking decision about Stefan.

_Yes, I know, a coward's way out._

So, I am left to be contented with, and to treasure Embry's words, our words and the memories of us together. We've kept out of each other's sight for too long. The closest we've gotten to being in the other's presence is when I feel him inside me when I phase. It is when we are wolves that I can let him feel, without words, how much I still do love him, how I miss him so ferociously, and how very, very sorry I am that our lives are on such different trajectories.

We share fleeting happiness. We do not think of Stefan. We think only of ourselves and of our times together.

These very rare times are ones I cherish and revisit often when I become all too aware of how close Stefan and I are becoming.

"..._be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life._"

Jake and Bella's exchanged vows call me back from my reverie and have me genuinely smiling, witnessing with my own eyes Jake breaking the hold of his imprint._ Felicia._ I am so happy for Bella and Jake, my heart sings for them. They offer me the hope I so desperately seek, faith that even after the poignant encounter of last night, Embry and I will indeed find our way to one another again.

For me, last night's storm did not come in with the rainclouds, but began when Embry sought me out in the quiet backyard of the Black residence after rehearsal dinner.

"Stefan knows I can't be a silent bystander in this anymore, Leah. It's not that I _won't_. It's just that I _can't_," he'd announced as the clouds gathered. I watched his raven black hair whip about his handsomely chiseled face in the lashing wind. "I've loved you enough to stand back and allow you the freedom to get what you need to get done. I've been patient. I've been waiting. But I'm not content to quietly stand in the shadows anymore. You've had more than enough time to finalize your decision. If you're going to pick Stefan. _Pick_ _him_, Leah, please. _Pick!_ You have to do _something_ because this… this in-between, limbo thing, is _killing_ me!"

No longer teenagers, he spoke the words of a man, and the woman in me gasped at his strength of understanding and acceptance. I wanted to run away with him right then, to finally end his torment. But I caught sight of a white dove perched calmly on a nearby branch. I could see it right above Embry's shoulder. It flapped its wings to settle on its branch, reminding me it wasn't yet time to fly.

"I should have fought harder _before_. And now, I think I might be too late," he sends me a wry smile. "After talking to Stefan and Jake, I've come to truly understand what you have to do - what _only you_ can do - for the pack, for _all_ of us. You'll be an amazing mother, Leah. And I can live with what you have to do because I can hold on to the hope that we will be together and have our own children after all of this is done. If we can have that, then it will all be worth it, right?" He looks imploringly at me, waiting for an answer that I can't give with complete confidence. I continue to gaze at him, silent. He clears his throat, trying another approach to shake me out of my silence.

"So, Buttercup, if doing this can save our own children and grandchildren, and you're willing to make the sacrifice. I can make a sacrifice, too." He stops a minute to compose himself, the idea of children halting him. "I should have told you a long time ago that you should be with me. I should have asked you to stay with me. Maybe we could have done something differently and Stefan wouldn't be so… so much a part of who we are now. I should have told you before he even showed up that we belong together," he said, grabbing onto my shoulders.

"I should have been there for you…"

I tilt my face up to look at him when I hear his voice hitch. I watch something shift in his expression.

_Despair_.

"Ohgod, Leah!… ohgod!," he gasped then, releasing me. He bent over, suddenly. I recalled doing something similar before... in the hospital... and realized what was happening to Embry. It was as though he'd just received the news about the miscarriage and the baby from Stefan's mind only minutes before, instead of _years_ ago. Alarmed, I moved swiftly to place comforting hands on him, just as Stefan did for me once upon a time.

"Ohgod, Leah… _our baby_, Leah…ohgod," his voice broke, his body shook. At last he spoke the words I knew he couldn't acknowledge before. I'd been waiting, wondering, if he'd ever lift the protective shield of denial.

So, _this_ was his breaking point, then, an upcoming marriage of friends. His _best_ friend's deliberate choice to break imprint, and not only that, but to finally have the knowledge of the true extent of physical and mental pain Jake had to endure to ensure he'd _never_ imprint again. The frustration of not being the one in control, able to do _something_, _anything_ to get us out of the situation we're in.

All of this and realizing that Jake would likely be a father before him. Well, this was, apparently, the last straw that finally forced Embry to face the truth. A truth he'd pushed aside because of the pain, shame, and fear of being just like his father. I'd suspected for a long time that for Embry, _everything_ associated with my miscarriage cast unwanted bright light onto his belief of being a failure in our relationship, and worse, of being a failure as a father to a child that would never be.

I wrapped my arms around him as he sank his way to the ground. I held him tightly, whispering the lullaby that soothed Stefan in the past.

"I _can't_ Leah, please, don't ask me to stay in Washington. It might kill me, knowing you'll be carrying another man's baby. I don't know that I could stand it, not when _I _should have been there to… to… take care of _you_ when you were carrying _mine_."

"Embry, there's nothing either one of us could have done back then. I didn't even know I was pregnant! We couldn't have done _anything_," I said gently, smoothing his hair back as I cradled him against me. "_I_ should have asked you to stay. _I_ should have! It wasn't _your_ fault. It was _my decision_ not to send Stefan after you. I made the mistake, Embry! I was the one who chose wrong."

He grabbed hold of my hands, still apologizing for his perceived wrongs. I wrap my arms tighter around him.

"I thought I'd cried enough for the both of us, but I know now that I wasn't being fair," I whispered as I hugged him close, "It's ok to cry, now, Embry. It's ok. Just cry. You have a right to your grief, too. And you were _never_ at fault, not for _any_ of it."

And so, he wept, and I could almost hear the howl he would have made if he'd been a wolf.

I held him until he calmed, pouring all of my love into him.

"I'm so so sorry," his whisper of self-disgust pained me to hear. "I should be stronger for you, Leah. I'm so _very_ sorry, Buttercup. But I couldn't support you about the miscarriage after I found out. All because of _my_ own fucking issues. _Geezus_! That's why I haven't wanted to think about it, much less talk about _our_ baby. _Our baby_, Leah!" He let out a hard, ragged breath, rubbing at his face. "I can't do this. I can't feel _this_ right now. I… can't!" He gasped again, against the sudden agony of loss that I knew all too well.

"Please, Leah, just ask me to fight for us and I will. I will fight. I love you so much that I will use all of my strength to fight for us. Because no imprint, yours or mine, will ever take my love for you away." He let go of me and turned, grabbing hold of my shoulders and capturing my eyes. "But I can't be the _only_ one fighting… _Leah. Please_."

I knew he needed me to decide, to help him forget our past mistakes by giving him this task or giving him the freedom to go with my blessing.

I should have let him go.

I should have!

But the selfish bitch that I am, I still gave him hope and reason to stay.

I told him to wait, to _please_ wait. I knew it was patently unfair of me to ask such a thing of him, knowing I would be inevitably married to Stefan. But it had been so horrifying to realize that there were so many other women free to love Embry as I fervently wish to. I know with a simple change of heart and mind, I could rank myself among them.

I'd already promised the pack, though. Besides, Embry and I had each been talking independently to Chenoa and we'd even thought we'd each found some peace about the immediate future and what I'm being called to do.

Together, we'd come to accept the reality of the necessity of my action, gambling on the belief that this would be the way to our happily ever after. But once we'd agreed, it was me who continued to drag my feet. It was me procrastinating and not really making the _final_ decision.

To avoid choosing between them, I focused on my career, on anything and everything besides what my alpha role asked of me. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, because I've made something of myself in the in-between.

Though, I left both Embry and Stefan hanging in the meantime.

_Limbo?_.

Yeah, _exactly_.

I _should_ have told Embry to live his own life while I lived_ this_ - my life.

But, instead, I'd made it worse, I told Embry to please stay. And on top of that, I told him that I needed him nearby, too.

That's when he got angry, as furious as the hailstorm that swept through LaPush last night, bringing us back around full circle to start the old argument again.

_Break the damn imprint. If you love me, Leah, break it. It's only lust after all!_

Only this time we both know that while imprinting might only mean lust and procreation, it has also become for me, the one special way I can positively contribute to the preservation and future of our pack. It is a way to exercise my own strength as female alpha, my super unique, awesome girl power, that if put into effect would protect all I hold dear.

What's even worse, for both Embry and me, is that we know, that though he might have been once, Stefan isn't just an anonymous sperm donor. Now, he has a role in my life, in _our_ lives. He is my treasured friend, and even Embry can no longer justify hating Stefan simply for his audacity to exist.

_Not anymore._

Embry and Stefan had been spending more and more time together, Jake being the needed buffer between them. While trying to figure a way we could all live with this, the two men in my life had begun an unlikely, tenuous friendship. They'd come to trust one another, even _like_ each other's company a little bit, as long as Jake was around to tip the balance.

What threw them together was time and a common purpose: Find an alternative to me having to be the mother of the baby.

At first, they'd thought Aylen would fit the bill as my replacement… which failed since there was no connection… no _rise_ from Stefan. Then, the three men scoured the coasts for others. How they found the handful of other female werewolves, I'll never know. But, though he tried, none _peaked_ any interest from Stefan. I'd even half-heartedly hoped Embry might imprint during their quest, but, no. And as this reality set in, so did another divide between the two men. Impotent anger and frustration with the situation, this is what they both shared now.

Even Jake's intervention wasn't enough to keep them on amicable terms.

They'd come home empty-handed, and that left us all with only simple acceptance as the solution to the combined heartache.

"Make it easier for me to stop loving you, Leah," Embry's rough cry whipped through me. "Tell me that you don't love me! Tell me it's hopeless! Tell me I can't _ever_ have you! Or at the very least, tell me to leave so you can have your life with Stefan. I can't be here while… I just _can't_…"

"But, it's _not_ hopeless. Embry, and I do love you," I'd said the words for the very first time since we'd sat down to talk to Chenoa after our encounter at my house. Was it already _years_ ago? I knew it hurt him to hear them, but they passed my lips before I could stop them. I watched the hope flare in his eyes, but just as quickly my next words extinguish the tiny flame. "Even so, I can't break the imprint, not in the way you want!" I hurt all over again as I watched his hope flicker out, his body quaking in frustration.

"Don't you love me enough to break this imprint, Leah?" his voice full of anguish, asking a question we both know was _impossible_ for me to answer. "Please, Leah... tell me what you want me to do! Are you being like Sam, after all, convinced you might love your imprint more than you'll ever love me? "

"No... " I gasped and moved towards him, knowing he doesn't really mean the last question. But the barren look in his eyes stole the breath from me and stopped me mid-step. His gaze revealed the agonizing heartbreak I'd inflicted with the single word.

He turned to run before I could finish.

_Breaking point._

_His_ hurt, _my_ fault, _again_.

"... I'm doing this because I love you too much not to!" I'd shouted at his retreating back, not willing to stay quiet this time. "This _is_ how I _can_ break the imprint! This _is_ how I _can_ fight! Embry! Please stay!" I'd hoped beyond hope that he'd heard my last cry over the howling wind.

And, now, today, in the bright afternoon sun, there is no trace of last night's storm other than Embry's frown and his thunderous gaze.

He hates me for my indecision, I think, sorrowfully.

Regardless, I know that I still want him. I still love him. I still choose him.

Just not yet.

I know he hurts at the sight of me. I know this because when I look at him, I hurt, too. He is everything I want, but can't have right now. He is strong, or so his mother says, so I try to find my own strength as I continue on this path alone, knowing I'm hurting him by asking him to stay with me through it. Even so, I know I'm healing myself by going this way, following my destiny. I know that with Stefan and this baby I will find strength within me that I never knew before. Even in Stefan's absence I grow stronger. In his presence, I truly realize how far I've come from the simpering near-suicidal girl I'd once been.

There are still things I must do without Embry, even though I desperately want him to stay nearby.

There is still Stefan, after all, who needs me, too. I look at Stefan now, and smile. Bella spies me doing so, and grins. I know she still disapproves of Embry and how he's behaved. She whole-heartedly believes I love Stefan the way she loves Jake, that what Stefan and I have is even more special because it _is_ blessed by imprint.

_If only it were so simple._

I catch Chenoa Call's eye. She frowns at her son and gives me an encouraging smile. She knows I love Embry, and has been my unofficial guide through all of this, helping me stand up again and again each time I stumble along the painful journey that she promises will ultimately lead me back to her son.

_Dedicate yourself to loving Stefan_, she tells to me at my weakest moments. _Find a way to completely love yourself, then you will be ready to offer that love to my son._

I hope I am not following the advice of a mad woman.

Stefan feels the weight of my stare. He returns my gaze and grins one of his most gorgeous smiles. My insides flutter. My body responds to the simplest of his gestures. I know what he can reduce me to by turning on a little switch in his mind, the very same power I have over him.

My breath hitches as I look at the beauty of him.

This innocent moment between us reveals to me that when I do follow what I am meant to do, I fear I won't have the faintest idea how I will manage to let go of Stefan when it is his turn to leave me.

I don't know how I'll survive it, because I _do_ love him, and he is a _good_ man, too.

So I pray. I pray the prayer Embry demanded of me so long ago on that awful night of Sam and Emily's wedding.

I pray that Embry will still be waiting for me when I finally can come to him as a whole person in need of a full partner in love.

At the reception, I continue to feel the weight of Embry's gaze on my back. I shift in my seat, wishing he would approach, or just go away instead of brooding like a damn stalker.

I guess this is how _he_ must feel when he thinks about _me_ in his life. Neither here, nor there.

_Unfair. All around._

I move to go to him, but he quickly dissolves into the crowd, and I lose him.

Stefan seems to sense my despair at Embry's swift departure. I watch Stefan weave his way toward me.

"Would you care to dance?" His hand is outstretched to me. His gaze meets mine and I wonder at the sight. I'd always thought that a person's eyes were windows into their soul, but it occurs to me as I continue to delve into the verdant depths of his gaze, it seems I will never see deeply enough into Stefan's eyes to see anything but green.

What of _his_ soul? I think. Doesn't he deserve all the love I can give him to release him of this place? We've already come to the scientific and heartfelt conclusion that I alone have the power to give this to him.

All these conflicting thoughts dissipate as I feel the electricity sizzle at our touch. His scent captures me and I am lost in his arms. He whisks me around the floor in a dance I didn't know I could move to. He is elegance personified. He is dignified and gentlemanly. I crave his quiet, supportive company as I journey to the discovery of myself. He has been a constant partner in helping me view the full image of myself that I still cannot yet clearly discern.

Out of the corner of my eye, though my world spins while in Stefan's loose embrace, I see Embry watching. That glimpse of him so lost and alone flicks a light on in my head and I know now what I must do.

In order for me to one day return to him whole, I must carry on with the decision I'd long ago made.

I want him, yes.

I love him, yes.

And to show him that I have _enough_ love, I have to have faith and hope in the strength of the love we share.

In order for me to find my way to him again, I have to give Embry what he's been asking from me all along: enough love to trust that he'll be able to weather the hard parts, the very things that I wish only to shelter him from.

I also recognize that I owe myself the same, to trust that I will find the personal strength to handle this part of my life alone, _without_ Embry's strength beside me. To love and trust myself to have the internal strength to do this without him, to grow without him.

Just as his mother has been urging us to accept from the very beginning, I've come to at last realize that for Embry and me to be together in the end, I must first_ let him go_.

With sadness, I know I have to give Embry what he asked for last night. I can't do it with just words, though. I realize, the stubborn wolf that he is requires that I cut him loose in a way that will make him follow through with his part, to build a life, a future without me, _away_ from me.

I have to do this… not for _me_, but for _him_.

_For Embry._

I turn slightly to stare silently into Stefan's face. I see his gaze cloud with desire, and I watch him push that away to resettle on our friendship. This man taught me that I could help him heal his own darkness. Through this trust, I found the ability to feel empathy again. He held me, unquestioning, through one of the darkest periods of my life and through that generosity of spirit, he taught me again of love.

Despite knowing the whole of me, the _real_ me, he loves me still… in his own way. After all, I know, just as he does, that we each love another.

And in at last accepting this fact, I am resolved.

I stand on tiptoe to whisper into Stefan's ear.

"Stefan, I think it's time," I say.

I see the surprise on his face and I continue with a small smile, "Will you marry me?"

His emerald eyes twinkle in delight and he smiles in a way that would melt any woman's heart. Then he captures me in a kiss that steals my breath away.

"I do so love the modern ways," he says against my lips twirling me around the dance floor. "Yes, Leah, I believe I _shall_ marry you!"

I smile a true smile and cast a wary glance over his shoulder.

To my great relief, as well as to my utter despair, I find that Embry is gone.

* * *

**A Wedding of My Own**

**_POV: Embry_**

**_

* * *

_**

~ *~

"It is not our abilities

that show

what we truly are.

It is our choices."

~ *~

_"I now pronounce you husband and wife...."_

I burst into the ceremony, hoping to make my dramatic entrance during the part where the presider asks if there's anyone who objects to this union, but I'd missed the all important cue.

The poor timing is all thanks to my mom who was making me do all sorts of insanely random errands for her today. She'd even gone so far as to make me give her a "cross-my-heart, wish to die, poke a needle in my eye" sort of promise to finish them _all_ before I took off on my own. My mother, being the all-seeing creature that she is, knew I would on this day take leave of all my good sense and cast away my hard-earned level of maturity about this fucked up situation to let my emotions lead me back to the girl I'd been so desperate to stay away from for so long.

And I had, honestly, tried to stay away ever since Leah left no doubt that she was granting me my freedom, making her final decision by agreeing to marry Stefan. But, I couldn't leave, not mentally.

I _thought_ I could.

I _knew_ I should.

But thinking and knowing are very different from feeling. And so that's why I'm heaving for breath, standing at the back of this church, arms holding open the double doors, taking in the rear view of Leah and Stefan holding hands, and sealing their vows with a kiss.

I think the pack is expecting me, or somehow Stefan heard my plan through my thoughts, because as soon as I step foot into the sanctuary to_ I don't know what_... Sam and Jake tackle me and drag me into a back corner. Jake's hand covers my mouth. I'm amazed there isn't more sound coming from our scuffle.

"It's over, Embry," Jake whispers, putting an end to my fight. "Leah's made her choice."

The final Wedding March rings in my ears like a funeral dirge. Sam helps me to standing and I brush off my monkey suit. Sam and Jake flank me as the couple sweeps down the aisle. I keep my mouth shut, glaring at Stefan, unable to look at the beauty at his side. I can no longer shed tears or rail against the impossibility of this situation.

Jake and Sam corner me as soon as most of the guests file to the reception area.

"You have to get over her, Embry," Jake says to me.

"Like _you_ could so easily get over Bella?" I snarl and before Sam opens his mouth, I turn to him and spit out, "or Emily?!"

They both say nothing and I make my way to the farthest corner of the room where I stare out the window.

I hear a door shut. From scent alone, I know they've left and someone else entirely is on the approach.

_What do you want?_ I think bitterly, knowing he can hear my words.

"I regret that I am not so noble as to hand you the woman I've been waiting a millennia for. It's _her_, Embry. You and I know it. And she's agreed so generously to help release me from the imprisonment of this curse," the man with the green eyes says calmly. "I know you are sacrificing, too, and I offer you my deepest thanks, though I know you could care less."

I look at him, one brow raised. _You got that right, buddy, _I think, momentarily forgetting I am in the presence of a mindreader and that all of my juvenile thoughts are exposed.

I know you are more noble than I, because you gave her the freedom to choose. I am hoping that it will be because of your honor, that you will discover the strength wait for her through this. That when you are ready, you will be her friend once more - her best friend. I know she is the woman you love. Have faith in her. Trust her to work this all out for herself."

I turn back to gaze out the window. Speaking to him with my back to him.

"In other words, you want me to stand by and do nothing while you use her for your own selfish ends?" I say, surprising myself that I do not sound angry. "You know more about impotency than I do," I add wryly, a mirthless chuckle escapes.

He has the decency to indulge me in my misery and he smiles at my wit.

"You will not be impotent in this Embry, not _this_ time. You have full knowledge of the truth. You are far stronger a man than I thought. Far stronger than I am because I cannot honestly say I would be able to do as you have done."

_Great, of course he'd reveal that only after the fact._

"The truth is, for now, Leah wants me, Embry, and I want her," his eyes flash. His expression is one that conveys an awareness of being deemed top dog in this case. And the reality of this slices me. He doesn't have to continue, because I've been telling this to myself since I left the last wedding I'd attended in LaPush. "Because of the imprint, I know, and so does she, that she fits all the requirements for me to need her and be with her in _this_ way."

I focus on my understanding of imprinting, the very definition of it that I tried to convince Leah of a lifetime ago.

It helps to abate the fury.

It's lust, pure and simple.

Mating.

Procreation.

Strengthening the pack.

_That's all._

Gone is the time I would throw out the word I once used to describe her for doing this _with_ him. The last time I'd thought it, I'd won myself a nice angry scar, raked across my back. I no longer growl at his words, knowing I need to hear them to move on. Surprisingly comforted to know too, that Stefan is someone I can trust and respect in his handling of Leah. It helps to know that he is as much a victim of our situation as both Leah and I are.

"Be comforted that I am not blinded by love. Leah's eyes are open, too. She knows what she is doing. She needs the practicality of what I have to offer now. She is doing this to strengthen the pack, insure the future. She seeks to find her strength, realize her power. She wants this so she can learn to love herself first. That's what she's doing, Embry. She is also doing this to secure the love she has for you. This curse promises her a happy ending with you, too."

_And once Leah's decided on something there's no moving her. _

Through his bizarre power, I hear our minds think the thought in unison.

"If it counts for anything, Embry, she's the one who asked me to marry her."

"You could have said, no," I respond lamely.

"Yes," he nods, his thick blond hair, ruffled by the forest wind coming in through the window, "but as we've already established, I am not so noble." His green gaze grips mine, unflinching as he speaks to my mind.

_For now, Leah is mine. _

His eyes flash a warning against any attempts by me to woo her away now. I'd apparently had my chance. Yet, all the while his thoughts speak of caring enough about any future I might have with his new wife.

"I will not ask of her anything she is unwilling to give," he uses his voice to communicate with me this time. "No sadness will come to her that you will not be able to soothe. She will come to you more whole than she did when she first came to me. Of this I promise you."

I hear Stefan make his way back to the reception. I do not move from where he leaves me.

Alone, I sigh, trying to come to terms with what he's told me.

_I despise weddings. I really and truly do._

I let go of a rueful scoff as I think this last thought.

Gathering my wits, I move back into the reception and see it's time for _that_ dance, the one where the guests who wish to get a moment to dance with either the bride or groom are afforded the opportunity through a pinning of a currency on their garments.

As I walk toward Leah who is dancing with Seth, I feel the grasp of my pack mates' hands at my arms, pulling at me to stop. It seems I've been in this place before... a lifetime ago.

When I finally am upon brother and sister, Seth gives me a low, warning growl.

I respond with a polite request to cut in, extending my hand. A look passes between them, then Leah, with her wild, buttercup scent, is in my arms.

I know to expect her insolent question. It's almost tradition now. And just like every other time she's asked, I get so angry I can barely see straight.

"So, have you imprinted yet, Embry?

"Knock it off, Leah," I say through gritted teeth. "Why are you doing this?"

She ignores my question. This is part of our dance, after all. It wouldn't do to misstep.

"You know, if you'd just imprint," she continues, "you'd make my life a whole hell of a lot easier."

"So you've said, Leah. But I don't feel like making your life any easier, especially since you're throwing me into hell today."

I know her new husband's eyes are tracking us, along with every eye of each member of the pack.

"Don't do this, Embry," she pleads, my strong lead gliding her around the dance floor. "Stop waiting, now. You asked me to pick and I did. So, really. Please go, this time. Please."

I can't find my breath.

"I love you, Embry," she says quietly. "I can't watch you do this to yourself. I'm doing what you asked me to do. Please, for me _and_ for you, stop waiting."

I nod, once.

She stills.

I see I've stolen her breath, too. This gives me pause and hope flares.

I offer her a small smile, gratified that with this miniscule movement of my own lips she's managed to find her own breath again. I move to guide her off the dance floor, feel her shaking beneath my hand at her back.

As we near Stefan, I stoop to peck her cheek, and whisper in her ear.

"I love you, too," I say softly, this time without malice. "Goodbye, Leah."

I hand her over to Stefan and without looking back, I walk away, out of the reception, out of LaPush, and out of Leah's life.

**

* * *

POV: Leah

* * *

**

I am finally alone with Stefan in our luxurious honeymoon suite. He is visibly nervous, eager. We've promised each other to try to keep clear-headed, to not use the imprint pull that would relegate our wedding night to just animalistic mating. I smile shyly at him, trying to keep my nervousness hidden.

"Come here, Leah," he beckons, running his heated palm along my bare arm. "You look beautiful, you know."

My lips quirk.

"You don't have to flatter me, Stefan. You've already got me in bed and you're going to get in my pants before the night is over," I tease.

"Don't you think you deserve some romance before…" he whispers as he kisses my fingertips and I close my eyes and feel an overwhelming tingling all over. My body responds to him against me. It's breathtaking, this desire.

I want him.

I do.

"Stefan, I told you, we shouldn't use the pull. It's cheating."

"I'm not, Leah, I swear."

I still my movements beneath him, indulging in the exquisite feel of him above me. Amazing. Really. I arch myself against him, relishing the needy sounds he makes for me, his roaming hands.

"So, this is..." I pant.

"… just _us_…" he gasps. His breath against my ear. I feel his smile against my cheek. I smile against him, too.

"Leah-" he says hesitantly. I understand his uncertainty.

"Don't worry, Stefan. You've done this with countless other women, remember?" I smile, tracing the worry lines between his brows.

"Leah, that was _years_ ago, and I just want to tell you-"

I see his expression grow serious. I don't want this to be more than it already is. If I make this out to also include my heart, I won't be able to handle it if, rather, _when_ he leaves me, too.

After what happened at the reception, the heartbreak I felt with Embry's goodbye, I've come to no longer believe Chenoa. So, I've convinced myself I've ruined any future with Embry by choosing this route, so I'm now determined to hold on to what little I have left. Grasping onto this man, my husband, I realize with sudden clarity that what I have is quite a lot indeed.

"Stefan, you don't have to tell me you love me. _Seriously_," I give him a playful slap on his shoulder. "It's just me!"

He sighs, still wavering, worried to continue.

"Stefan," I whisper, rubbing his back, trying to ease his concern. "Hey, I know it's your first time in a long time, and really, it's OK if you know, you're… um… excited. I mean, you know it's not my first time either, so, I'll be OK, with whatever you need. We have a lifetime, Falconer," I smirk.

He glides a hand against my jaw, tilting my face up, and placing a tender kiss against my lips, wiping all mischievous thoughts from my mind.

"Leah," he says, touching his lips to each of my eyelids, his hands moving to caress the curves at my either side of him waist. "It _is_ my first time. It's my first time, with _you_."

I whimper helplessly.

_I can't do it, not like this_, I think with a sob.

My last choice. I will not let go of _him_. Even if I have to lock Embry in a secret part of me, never to see the light of day while I'm with with Stefan.

I know what I have to do, now. I take a deep breath to prepare myself.

"Stefan, a nickel for a kiss." I whisper, urging him, welcoming him, now, into my mind.

I will be the one who breaks the pact we made earlier. I will be the one who surrenders to the call of our imprint. I will be the one who exercises the power of the thrall. I can not bear giving my heart over to my Stefan, because I know that's what I'll be doing if we actually make love without the imprint power.

And _that_ would be cheating...

because my heart will always belong to Embry.

I feel Stefan's lips against mine.

"You owe me a nickel, fox," he growls against my neck.

I laugh, truly amused. "It's _wolf_, falcon."

Using the power I'd once tried over a box of chocolates one Valentine's Day, I surprise him with the force of it. And I wonder at how quickly I bring Stefan to a near mindless state where he forgets about anything and everything but burying himself in me, with the sole purpose of spilling his seed. I know it's not what we agreed on, but it is what _I_ need to do this.

No love.

Just lust.

Plain and simple.

I sigh contented with this, feeling the tug of Stefan's equally powerful need pulling me into the maelstrom of desire I'd once balked at. I release all resistance and give myself over to the unique pleasure of a lover who can truly read my mind.

* * *

**A/N**:_ I misspoke last time. Embry reminded me that this is supposed to be Callwater. He also pointed out that he's been really good since his last temper tantrum, that he's learning to deal with his daddy-issues and he's maturing. He asked me so nicely not to be kept on the back burner this chapter, I had to oblige. He has grown up, so much. And for all of you Stefan fans, I ... well... err... sigh...I'll tell you next chapter._


	39. Hello, Love, Goodbye

**Hello, Love, Goodbye**

~*~

**When love is met**

**It is hard to part**

**If betwixt the two**

**There is but one heart**

**~*~**

The call that lands me firmly back in Leah and Stefan's life comes nearly two years later. The unlikely voice I heard on the other end of the line this morning was none other than that of my own mother.

"It's time, Embry," she says cryptically. "You must come home, now."

She couldn't have picked a worse moment to make her summons. My partner and I are swamped with dealing with the growing pains at our burgeoning 35-person company in the San Francisco Bay Area. Stockholders have been pleased with our team's innovations in environmental products.

The reality of this is that the demands of my job have offered me little in the way of a personal life. It's even too much to say that I'm in-between women. I've found that while I do need to find occasional release, sex in and of itself leaves me lonely and unsatisfied. I even tried a relationship, but while it started spectacularly well, it ended just as spectacularly bad. I couldn't even cry on Aylen's shoulder because she'd finally imprinted on someone, that someone being a shifter. Though I don't think myself prejudice, I don't want to risk running afoul of him just in case I still harbor bitterness toward his kind. I'm really not sure how I feel since I still try hard not to think of Stefan.

There still isn't a week that goes by in which I don't think of Leah, though. Some days I believe I'm getting better, but all it takes is for me to see someone across the street with the same color hair, or hear a familiar feminine laugh on the other side of a partition, and she is back full force, front and center in my thoughts. Each time this happens, which hasn't been quite as often as it had been, it takes a few minutes to calm my heart down. A hard night of drinking and a willing blonde to warm my bed usually suffices to push Leah back into the recesses of my heart... until the next time.

I haven't seen her since her wedding day. I sometimes write her friendly letters full of idle chatter about life and I still send Christmas cards, though electronic - saving paper, after all. I call sometimes to catch up, but I can't do it too often because the sound of her voice hurts me still. I just can't bear to think of them together.

Though I've been with countless women since, it pains me to know that she is still with _him_. Maybe it's because I believe she does in fact love him. And perhaps that's what makes all the difference. As it is, I still slap myself on the forehead for bothering to send her a bouquet of buttercups on her birthday. Perhaps I am a lovesick fool, I would certainly ascribe to being called a loser, perhaps not in my career, no… but a loser in love, yes, that's for sure.

* * *

**Months prior  
POV: ****_Stefan_**

* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat for the twelfth day in a row. The recurring pain at the base of my spine has me laying as though paralyzed, waiting for the lull that comes in between the sharp jabs. The space between the pain usually allows me enough time to ease out of bed without disturbing Leah. So, I wait.

Our attempt to conceive has proven more difficult than we'd imagined. We share disappointment with the arrival of each of her monthly courses. She'd been blaming herself lately, but I assure her it is common to have difficulty at first, and that it might take a little time.

Leah's been more tired of late, working long hours with my sister. I reach out to rub her back as moonlight streams into our room, casting a luminous glow over my wife. I smile and think of the boundless joy I feel being able to call her this.

The pain returns and I pull my hand away from her so she does not feel me shake as the hurt rockets through me. I grit my teeth and grab hold of the sheet beneath me until it passes. I think of the papers in my study downstairs. With what's left of my mental fortitude, I slowly remove myself from the bed to make my way to continue my writing and to re-read my research notes.

Leah shifts with the lifting of my weight from the matress, but does not wake. Her internal and external beauty increases every day. I tell her she should be proud of her work with Felicia and at the business she's built from the ground up. She's even working on an environment-friendly clothing line that I'm sure is inspired by Embry's work.

I am fairly certain Leah has no idea how wealthy she is now that she is wed to me. Felicia also never speaks of the tidy sum _she_ has stacked away for the rainy days that never come. My sister has mentioned that she won't tell Leah because she needs it to stave off the boredom of the rich, that keeping her wealth under wraps preserves the work she has come to luxuriate in with her sister-in-law's growing reputation in high fashion circles. The more Felicia protests, however, the more I suspect she rather enjoys being Leah's anonymous benefactress.

I gingerly take the seat at my desk and pull my leather-bound notebook closer. I turn on the desk light and flip to the last findings, cursing the damnable witch again. I finish up this afternoon's documents, carefully placing the papers in an envelope and stamping my seal and our family crest on it. I open our home safe and place the envelope securely within its confines. I gaze out the window and contemplate my life.

_Our_ life.

I sigh and pick up the phone.

It's late, or rather, quite early, but she's expecting my call.

I greet Chenoa warmly and as we converse, I ask her for the healing remedy she'd promised to discover for me. I write down her instructions. She asks after Leah's health, and finally before we end the call, I make my less than casual inquiry. After a moment's hesitation on her end, I gratefully jot down the numbers she relays to me.

I sit until the pain in my back subsides, making a mental note to purchase the ingredients for the elixir first thing tomorrow. I then punch the numbers I've already committed to memory into the phone's keypad.

The phone rings six times.

His groggy, concerned voice finally answers.

"What is it!?"

"Embry?"

"Who is this?"

"It's Stefan." I say weakly as another shot of pain hits me, harder this time.

"Stefan? What time is it? My god, is Leah OK?"

"She's just fine," I say through my shallow intakes of breaths.

"Then why the hell do you sound like _that_?"

"I need your help," I say.

"Call Jake." He says and hangs up.

I wait for the dial tone and for the next tremor of pain to ebb.

I hit redial.

"What?!"

"I am asking you to just listen. I need to tell you."

"No." He says dismissively. "I told you, call Jake."

"Wait," I manage a bit of a yell in my desperation. "I don't want to call Jake. I _need_ to tell _you_."

"Well, I don't want to hear it. Goodbye, Stefan."

He hangs up again.

I wait a little longer this time. The pain finally settles and I am able to breathe once more. I take a moment to think of what I can say to make him listen.

I hit redial, again.

"You are a persistent bastard."

_Well, at least he thinks enough of me to call me names._

"Wait, Embry," I shout, mostly in reaction to the smaller aftershocks of hurt ricocheting in my body. "Before you hang up, what if I tell you that what I have to say is _about_ Leah?"

There is silence on the other line. I'm afraid he might have hung up again. I've just about lost my nerve to hit the redial again if he has.

Just before I move to put the receiver back in its cradle I hear him speak.

"Fine, Stefan… I'm listening..."

* * *

**In another hospital**  
POV: _Embry_

* * *

It isn't until I'm sitting in the comfort of business class on a flight from SFO to Washington, that I finally allow myself to accept that filial piety has little to do with how quickly I booked my flight to Seattle and why I am here, today. I've come to acknowledge that it's because of Leah and my annoyingly constant devotion to her that I am sitting next to this hospital bed in LaPush.

_Hell, I might as well have imprinted on her, the way I'm carrying on!_

Not only am I sitting next to _this_ bedside, but I am also having the most insane conversation I've ever had with her husband, Stefan, the patient laying here beside me in the loose grey hospital gown.

We're in the middle of a conversation that is a continuation of a discussion that began about nine months ago in the twilight of early morning. We'd left the business unfinished because I'd hung up the phone for the third time, refusing to actively involve myself in the drama of his and Leah's life _ever_ again.

A man could only take so much, after all!

But that conviction obviously hadn't even lasted a year.

What he'd asked of me then had just simply been too much. And now, seeing him, his request seems even harder to bear.

"What you're doing isn't out of love, Stefan!" I snarl at him. "It's pure selfishness. AGAIN! Leah loves you. You will wreck her by not telling her the truth of it!"

"Yes, to some degree, yes, I am being selfish again, but _this_ will not wreck her, Embry. If I _do_ tell her what is happening, _that_ will wreck her!"

* * *

**POV: ****_Stefan_**

* * *

I look at the man that Embry has become. Long gone is the scruffy teenager of old. Today, he wears a pristine button-down under a smart jacket, tossed over well-tailored, likely environmentally-friendly, slacks. His raven black hair is stylishly long, carefully tousled. He looks casual, though to a trained eye like mine, schooled by a wife who is an up and coming fashion designer, Embry's been thoughtfully put together. He must have found himself a personal stylist, or a good tailor, out there in the City. His business needs must require he look this well.

I smile at my wandering thoughts.

Embry now exudes the respectable presence of a self-made man, slightly hardened with the veneer of hard-won confidence and power. Apparently, he has done quite well for himself during the short time he was gone from our lives. He clearly put his anger and passion to good use, building himself a lucrative present as well as a promising future.

All that remains of the troubled teen of years past is the stubborn set of his chin and flashing dark eyes. I fight the temptation to peer into his mind uninvited.

"You have to _tell_ her Stefan," Embry urges, "To keep _this_ from her is lying."

"To keep _this_ from her is kind and merciful," I argue quietly, my voice raspy, my throat parched. "If I tell her the truth, she will feel the need to choose. I will not put her through that torture _again_."

We both wince.

There is silence between us before Embry breaks it.

"But what if she chooses you?"

I refuse to entertain the thought.

"She will _not_ choose me. She wants a child more than she will _ever_ want me. She deserves unmitigated joy," I say as mildly as I can, though my heart is thumping erratically in my chest. I know my heart races at the possibility of any slight truth in Embry's suggestion.

"You should tell her because she might choose you," Embry repeats fiercely, as though I hadn't heard him the first time.

I say nothing.

The temptation to tell her the full extent of the curse breaking has tormented me all these months. I know I would love Leah forever if she could ever find it within herself to surrender her heart to me. Even the promise of reuniting souls with Elisheva has faded with the passage of time with Leah as my wife. The idea of lovers' souls reincarnated now seems utterly ridiculous, especially with the knowledge that with only a few spoken words, Leah and I could have built a wonderful life in partnership together, minus one very important addition.

Yes, I do love Leah, otherwise I would not be here.

This man, however, must _never_ know how precious Leah has become to me. The love I have for her abounds, surprising me in its intensity. With,, each passing day since we made our wedding vows, Leah has grown strong and confident. She shows me all the love she is able to give, while remaining constant to the love she tries to hide away from me.

I have never begrudged her that.

She's at last found herself through the decisions she's made, particularly in finding the personal strength to allow me to temporarily share her life. But she sacrificed so much, borne such heartache, for such little gain.

No, I could never begrudge her the love she has for _him_.

In my weaker moments, I've peeked into her mind and know of her tightly held secret. Through these glimpses, I know she can _never_ truly be mine and it would be selfish of me to try. She thinks of this wolf, Embry, still, and because of that, I know what I must say to convince him to stay with her and reclaim her as _his_.

I do, after all, love her enough to do _this_.

And so I speak the words Embry _needs_ to hear, the very ones that rip my heart to shreds. I continue with this farce to ensure that Leah is rewarded with the happiness I've promised her.

"She will not choose me, Embry," I say soft, but sure, "and I most certainly do _not_ choose her."

* * *

**POV: Embry**

* * *

I hear some strength return to Stefan's voice as he rejects my notion that Leah would choose him over all. I fight the anger I feel at his claim that he doesn't want Leah, that he never has loved her as much as I imagine she must love him. It infuriates me that Stefan has exactly what I've coveted, the one woman I've desired for far longer than he has had any presence in her life, only to be so ready to throw it all away.

And for what?

A witch's promise?

_Insanity!_

My feeling of fury dissipates quickly as I watch him rub his forehead, as though staving off a headache. The hospital ID band hangs loosely at his wrist.

When had he gotten so thin and gaunt? When had his perfectly wavy blond hair turned so limp and colorless? What of his unusual strength? Is this what he was talking about before? This in not the same man I left Leah with.

Stefan watches my perusal of his form. He stops fidgeting and stares at me before weakly asking, "Tell me, Embry, what do you believe love is?

For whatever reason, Stefan's words call to mind a night nearly a lifetime ago when I sat on Leah's bed. She thought I was her father and I let her believing it so as she dreamt in that space between wakefulness and sleep. I held her and told her I loved her even though I hurt like hell inside to not be able to claim that love for her as my own.

I shake myself out of the memory.

This is ludicrous, but I find myself responding to Stefan's query anyway.

"Love is giving the one person you love most in the world their heart's desire. That is love, Stefan, even when your own heart is being torn apart by the decision to do it, you let the one you love follow _their_ heart. That's what love is."

He nods. "And in allowing all of this that has happened between Leah and me, Embry, you have shown her this very beautiful definition of your love."

I snort, unappreciatively.

"A lot of good that's done me, Stefan," I say, my tone jaded. "And, frankly, you don't look so hot yourself. Truth is, my friend, love fails - and does so every damn time."

I watch a flicker of a frown touch on his lips.

"I do love Leah, _my friend_, nearly as much as in the way you just described," he stops to cough several times, the severity of his hacking causes me a great deal of alarm and I start to move in to help him. He stops me with a raised hand and continues to speak. "I once loved another in the way you explained. I, however, wasn't brave enough or broad-minded enough to do right by her.

He stops again to cough, his shoulders heaving at the force of it. I hand him a tissue which he takes unceremoniously with a small thank you.

"Since the wedding, Leah has tried to put aside your mother's foretelling as a way to survive. She's all but labelled life with you as just a lovely fairytale, helplessly romantic, hopeless in reality. Even so, she still holds tightly to the love she has for you. She's kept every letter, pressed every flower. She feels sorrow at how she's wronged you at nearly every turn. Everything she did to you to try to keep you away, she did out of love.

I huff quietly, but he presses on.

"Embry, she didn't know how else to protect your from her decision to be with me. She'd even been scared that _I_ would fail her. And I fear that I just may if I don't convince you that you _and_ she still belong together. Unfortunately, now, she's holding tightly to her belief that this imprint she and I share is her last chance at love "

It is my turn to sigh and rub my forehead. I hold up my hand to stave him off as I continue his line of thinking.

"And knowing Leah," I say wearily, "she's convinced that she's lost me, and with that being the case, she figures she should try to keep you because you're a sure thing. She's got herself believing that your imprinting will keep the two of you together and guarantee the love, or whatever it is the two of you share - forever, as long as you both shall live."

The irony of my last statement strikes me and I turn to look sharply at him. Stefan's forearm is thrown over his eyes and I bend to peer into his half-covered face. "Stefan, she has no idea about you, does she? Why won't you tell her? If everything you're telling me is true, this is going to kill her!"

He shakes his head and his eyes hold silent appeal as he continues where I left off in the conversation.

"She _will_ continue to believe I will get better and you will not ask her to do otherwise," he commands. "In any case, I have urged her to contact you, but she doesn't see the use in it and she's refused. She tells me she is not deluded enough to think that you still love her, despite all the little ways I have noticed you still try to tell her that you do... still love her."

I cast him a wary glance. He smiles knowingly.

"Embry, I have tried to tell her that true love is not what imprinting is about. I've told her that imprinting ends with the birth of offspring. Through a baby, our imprint will always keep us joined, yes. But this interlude in your life with Leah, rather, my intrusion in it, has always been about Leah learning to exercise her unique abilities as female alpha, realizing her importance to the pack, and for her to use both to bring strength to the LaPush werewolves... just as is destined."

He stops to catch his breath. He'd been on quite a roll.

"As I've told you before, Embry, once _this_ happens, I cannot be part of your lives any longer. I do not belong in this world."

He _has_ spoken of all of this before, on the night I wasn't ready to listen.

I'm still not sure I want to.

I start to protest, but watch as Stefan's fevered hand reaches for mine. An unusual tingling feeling comes over me as soon as our palms meet. He smiles as though satisfied to discover a pleasant little secret.

His verdant stare bores into me, "I'm through with being completely selfish, Embry. I do love Leah enough to give her what her heart desires. In doing this, however, my own heart will not ache. I have only ever wished _this_ for her and it makes my heart glad to know I am fulfilling a promise I made to her when we first began. I know which one of us she deserves. I know the one she truly loves, the one she's _always_ loved."

"She's only _ever_ loved _herself_," I shout angrily. "Look at you! Look at me! Neither one of us is happy! Hell, you're in a hospital bed looking like you're ready to die any second. You _have_ to tell her, Stefan! You can't leave me to be the one to tell her!"

Stefan's face takes on a world-weary expression, "But, Embry, what is there to tell? I could never hold the place in her heart that you occupy. I have kept my word to you. She will weather this, but she will need your strength to overcome it."

I look at Stefan's face and know there is nothing more I can do. He shakes his head again. All that needed to come about has come to pass. It is done and he's telling me now so he can ensure I will remain at Leah's side through it all. As weak as he appears, I can't believe he is still managing to speak.

"Embry, please don't be this way. Let go of the anger. Do not be so blind as to deny her the one thing she has only ever really wanted. Don't reject all that is good about our story because of uncertainty and fear. Trust love. She _does_ love you enough. If she didn't, we'd still be wrestling as werewolves on First Beach. Will you risk it all, and give the woman we both love what she truly deserves?"

"And exactly what is _that_, Stefan?" I ask coolly, releasing my grip on his hand, thinking now of the child Stefan claims Leah so desperately desires.

"_You_, Embry," he replies impatiently, "You."

I stay until his labored breathing evens out and he looks like he's asleep. I leave the room and nearly plow into Leah...

...a very _pregnant_ Leah.

* * *

I wrap my arms around her to steady her and the scent of her overwhelms my senses.

_Buttercups_.

"Embry?" she asks, confused. Her look switches from confusion to delight, "Embry?! Oh, it is you!"

I hug her tightly to me.

"Yes, it's me," I say pleased at her expression.

"What have you done with yourself? My god, Embry, you look… wonderful!" she says brightly, looking me over as I keep my arms wrapped around her.

"Thanks, Leah. You look great too…" My eyes go to the top of her protruding belly, now sandwiched between us. She looks quite lovely, actually. Especially with the blush that now touches her cheeks.

"Have you seen Stefan?" she asks curiously. I know she wonders if I may have killed him on his bed. But I offer her a friendly smile as I nod and drop my hands to my sides. She grabs hold of my left hand, not wanting, it seems, to lose contact.

"Felicia says he looks much better today."

I try to wipe my face of any concern and shock, but _for godssakes, how awful had he looked before?!_

"He's going to get better," Leah says with conviction. "He needs to see his baby, right? He's going to get better!"

I nod to placate her.

"I'm sure the doctors are doing all they can."

"That's what they say, though they still have no idea what he has. He says he caught it at the last dig in Majorca."

I tighten my hand around hers, knowing full well he'd been nowhere near Spain, but actually had been under the care of my mother for the last month and a half, sleeping in her guest room, right down the hall from my boyhood bedroom.

I look back down at her belly, drawing her attention back to her baby and happier news.

"So, Leah, how far along are you?"

"Any day now, Embry," she beams, her eyes bright, her hand tightening around mine. "God, I'm so glad you're here!"

"So am I, Leah," I say meaningfully, pulling her close, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "So am I."

We gaze at each other in silence. I'm sure her happy smile reflects my own. A nurse ahems and I'm knocked back into reality.

"Hey, how about we get you a smoothie after you visit with Stefan?"

"How'd you guess that's what I wanted?" she asks playfully.

"He told me that you were craving them," I lie gracefully.

She smiles.

"Oh, he remembered. That's sweet."

"Indeed," I say, recalling all the smoothies we shared that one sweet, spring break in May.

"So, why don't you go in and I'll wait out here for you? Take your time."

She leaves my side and I watch her enter the door I just closed.

I sigh, leaning against the wall. I look into the window that frames the couple. The blinds behind the glass offer little privacy. I watch her move to his side and clasp his hand, placing it on her stomach. I watch him smile. I hope the baby kicked for him. She drags a hand through his hair and lets it linger along his jaw. She gazes at him, worried and yes, _in love._

There is no doubt in my mind.

_What am I doing? _I think wretchedly, watching the intimacy of this married couple._ Am I setting myself up for heartbreak again?_

She glances up, catches my eyes, and sends me a smile. Stefan moves his head to see what Leah's looking at and he sees me. I see his lips move as he turns back to her and she nods. She releases him with a quick peck on the cheek and a tucking in of the bedclothes around him. As she turns her back to him, I feel him in my head momentarily.

I let him sift around.

_Take her away from here, Embry. She needs to rest. Help her forget her worry for me and remind her instead of how much she loves you. Despite all that's past, remember again how much you love her, too._

_I will not take advantage of this, Stefan. This is unfair, _I think back at him.

His reply is swift, _I was never fair to you, Embry. None of this was ever fair to any of us._

_No, Stefan,_ I insist, sending my silent refusal as loudly as I can._ This isn't right!_

_Very well, then, Embry. _I very nearly hear his sigh. _If not yet love, then give her your strength and comfort. She'll know at least that you still care for her. Stay with her, please. Watch over her. It's almost time._

* * *

_**Only days later... A meeting of men and wolves**_

_

* * *

_

Quil, Sam and I ride to Jake's house in Forks. I notice Jake's son, Wolfe, has joined us at the table. I wonder at his innocence, on the cusp of manhood, a boy much like his father had been when we were all so very young. We need to tell Jake and Bella that Leah is in active labor, and that we all have to be at the hospital.

No one but me knows how truly necessary it is for one of us to be at Stefan's bedside tonight.

* * *

_**At the hospital later that night...**_

_

* * *

_

I watch the strength of Stefan sap away, knowing in another room, Leah is doing her breathing exercises trying not to scream bloody murder as she gives birth to this man's child, this adversary turned _friend_. I am heartened to know her mother and my mother are there for her.

I feel myself succumbing to sadness for Stefan as I watch him fading in front of my eyes. Felicia, a constant sentinel at her brother's bedside, was sent home earlier upon doctor's orders and Seth had been with her all day, even Bella was doting on her. I was not present to witness the twins tearful farewell.

I continue to watch Stefan. My heart stutters as his color drains. Even with my supernatural hearing, I strain to hear his final words. Stefan's hand reaches out and clasps my hand, his last show of force.

At our touch, the tingling of the other day strengthens, shooting straight into me, like strong invisible cords wrapping around my insides. His words ring loud and clear in my head.

_I always knew you had the power to absorb, Embry. Hold my hand now and take some of what I can give. I can not offer you my mental abilities, nor can I give you Jake's form, or alpha trait. You have your own of each of these and they must not be overwritten. From now on, however, you will have the true power of a shifter, any animal form I have is now yours. Be not afraid of this power... and I can give you one more, though slightly less in its intensity. Ask Leah to teach you the power of the thrall._

I wonder at the note of amusement in his thought.

_I am sorry for all I've put you through, Embry. You deserve much more than what I can offer. Know you have won it all with your patience. _

I do not let his hand go until I feel a finality in what he pushes into me. The enormity of it all nearly brings me to my knees.

There is a heartbeat of quiet and, suddenly, I hear him again.

_Grow strong for them. Take care of my girls, Embry. Love them both fiercely. Love Leah until your dying day. Go to her now. The baby is here._

His warnings had been true after all. He'd claimed that as soon as their new baby breathed in her first breath, he'd be breathing out his last. Just as he foretold, the birth of their baby brought about his necessary death, giving him the release he'd been literally willing to die for.

He refused to tell Leah of the connection between birth and death, in case she did something rash to compromise the baby's health in order to save _him_. Stefan's and Leah's connection, I'd come to gather, was strong enough that she might have chosen life with him over that of the baby.

It still hurt me to think about this.

The secret of his illness remains with me. It was his dying wish to keep the facts of it from Leah. It is a promise that upon my honor, I swore I would uphold.

_His dying request,__ damn martyr, __the __perfect__ saint_... I think ruefully.

I bow my head and watch the life light fade from his emerald eyes.

I, release my grip on his lifeless hand, take a moment to gently shut his eyelids, and turn away.

* * *

I am standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to open.

With the birth of this new baby, Stefan's soul is finally released from its earthly hold. I send up a silent thank you for his help in paving a path for me to finally come to terms with all that's happened and begin anew with Leah.

It had been more than difficult for me to leave Leah's side through her labor. It had taken Sam's alpha order to get me to Stefan's room, a floor above, to witness his final words, for he had called for me by name. He'd spoken to Jake about a will he'd written and locked away before I finally made my appearance in his room. I asked again after Felicia and was told again that she was still with Seth, having shared a solemn moment of goodbye with Stefan without everyone's intruding eyes.

The gift and this last wish that Stefan grants me is even more immense than I'd imagined now that it has come to fruition.

I enter her hospital room and find Leah asleep. Her cheeks are tear-stained. She must've already been given the news. My heart aches that I wasn't here when she found out about her husband's death.

I move to wipe off the glistening moisture.

A muffled sound comes from the bassinet besides the bed.

I cast a glance at the baby with the long eyelashes. I tiptoe up to the crib and tentatively place my hand on her little chest. The baby's tiny hand comes to grip my thumb. She seems comforted by the heat. She nestles under the weight of my palm and settles into slumber. I don't wish to move just yet.

My heart swells.

I hear the rumble of thunder far off in the distance.

"Embry?"

I turn to Leah. She reaches out to me. I go to her bedside. She moves to make room and opens both arms to me. I slide in next to her on the bed, accepting her invitation. I hold her in my arms as she weeps for another man.

"I still love you, Leah," I whisper in her hair.

I feel her heart beat quicken beneath our clasped hands. She breathes deeply. There is only silence and I wonder if she heard me.

"I am so sorry, Embry. I always manage to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, and I end up hurting you so terribly."

I hush her, hugging her tight.

"Is it wrong..." she asks haltingly, "... is it wrong of me to have loved him, too?"

"No, of course not, Buttercup," I reassure her. For the first time I finally find myself able to honestly forgive her for her choice. "There are many kinds of love, Leah. Yes, you loved him and I can honestly say, Stefan loved you well. "

"Yes," she says, nodding. "He certainly did."

She remains silent for a long time, her tears finally abate. She is so still in my arms that I believe she might have fallen asleep again. I shift a little to leave, but she grasps my wrist before I can go.

"Embry. I love you," she says, turning to face me, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears. Still, the strength I find there is unmistakable, no longer only the glimmer I spied years ago, but a beacon of strength, steady and bright.

"You do know that, right Embry?" her hand rubs against my chin, now covered with stubble. The look she offers me is one I'd held fast to in my memories, one I'd only begun to dream of again. "Embry, I've always loved you. And I also know this, _you_ have always loved me _better_."

I plant a gentle kiss on the top of her head, and hug her to me.

"Sleep, now," I whisper. "I'm here."

* * *

Author's Note:

_Apologies for the time gaps. _

_At first, I had to get Embry our of jailbait age because it was bothering me that he was such a sex machine at that tender age. _

_Then, I thought, how long does it realistically take to make a womanizing, slightly dangerous, arrogant teenage boy, who keeps getting hurt over and over again by the woman he desires, into the likes of a self-made man, no longer bitter? How long would it take him to grow into a man of quiet strength who any woman would want not just in her bed, but one reformed enough that she'd want to marry him and make him a father? I couldn't give a definitive answer._

_So, I admit, I left Embry's and Leah's ages purposely ambiguous so you, the reader, could superimpose the age you were comfortable with for them at this point in their lives. I have a personal preference, but I know some think my preference might be too old. _

_It doesn't really matter what age you make them because they're technically "immortals." And yes, Leah, is still a werewolf after childbearing age. She just has to be human during this time so she can maintain her pregnancies. _

_I also like the idea of her remaining alpha female until another female comes of age._

_~*~** One more chapter and the epilogue left!** :)_

_ I could post them together if you let me know your preference! Thanks again for all your previous reviews they certainly keep my head in the story (much to the dismay of my dh!!)_


	40. A Kiss to Build a Dream On

~ * ~

Love…

What is love?

Love is to love someone for

who they are,

who they were,

and who they will be.

- _Chris Moore_

~ * ~

* * *

**_A Kiss to Build A Dream On  
_****_POV: Embry_**

_

* * *

_

When Sue called me at the hotel I was staying at in Seattle, it had been a few days since I'd visited Leah at her home.

After our midnight talk that first night in the hospital, Leah fell completely silent.

The shock of Stefan's death and the internal pressure of becoming a single mother overnight put Leah in a near catatonic state for two weeks. She finally snapped out of her deep depression after the funeral, only to wrap herself up in the baby and near constant silence ever since.

We worry about her,_ I_ worry about her, and we are all thankful for Stefan's formally written request to have Leah under constant medical care with a visiting nurse from the hospital. It's been nearly two months, and the only sounds coming from Leah are directed at the baby.

Before Stefan's funeral, which I surprisingly and ironically, was the one put in charge of considering the mental states of his wife and sister, I called my business partner, Rachel Black, Jake's sister, and said that I'd be in LaPush for an undetermined amount of time. I told her that I would visit our clients in Seattle and discuss a possible partnership with one of the smaller environmental product firms closer to home that had been interested in talks prior to me leaving for San Francisco. I also told Rachel that it was necessary for me to stay in Washington since I was at home taking care of some personal business. Thankfully, having been a long time friend, she understood.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave Leah now, not like this, not after she's lost so much. I could barely think of work while she still looked at me the way she did. Even without her voice, I knew I was offering Leah comfort just by being near.

So, I visited Leah nearly every day when I wasn't working in the city, and left more and more disheartened with the passage of time, wondering if the one night we shared in the hospital was really only a dream.

Now, with Sue's call I finally feel… awakened.

Leah had finally asked for me and I was ever grateful that I'd stayed put to wait her out.

"I'll be there soon, Sue," I assure Leah's mom, all the while swiftly dragging on my shirt and shoes and calculating the amount of time it would take me to charter a small aircraft to travel the 137 miles back to LaPush. "Tell Leah that I'm coming. Tell her that I'm coming_ right now_."

I get to Leah's house in a hurry. It's the one she shared with Stefan. The door is opened by Sue, holding the baby and a baby bag, apparently eager for my arrival.

"She needs you, Embry," Leah's mother says. Her gaze is penetrating. "She called me, asking for you."

I stare back, nodding.

"I have to take the baby in for her check up. Then I have to get to work," she says. "Seth and Felicia will bring the baby back. Please wait for them, don't leave Leah alone here."

"I won't Sue," I promise her.

"Leah's in the nursery."

I nod, knowing that Leah's avoided sleeping in the master bedroom and entering Stefan's den for the entirety of nearly two months.

I take the stairs two-by-two in my haste to find my way to the nursery of the baby girl who has yet to be named.

* * *

_**Earlier that morning...  
POV: Leah**_

_

* * *

_

The baby is peacefully asleep in the cradle that Stefan picked out six months ago. He'd surprised me with it long before he'd gotten ill, right before he'd left on his last dig in Spain, where he told me he caught the mystery illness.

I smile at the thought of him, his proud papa look as he lugged the baby's cradle into the house, smoothing his hand against it as though he'd built it himself.

I think of our daughter in it now. Her soft wavy black hair, a halo framing her cherubic face, the waves just like the ones her father had in his blond locks.

I'd just put her down only minutes before, my heart completely entranced by this child, already two months old.

Thank goodness for my mom who'd temporarily moved in with me. When I'd first arrived in this barren house, I was in no state to care for myself, much less a newborn baby. But it was my mom who laid the baby in my arms every day, who talked me through feeding her, even when I didn't feel like it, even when I didn't appear to be listening.

About two weeks ago, my mom left me for a moment to get a baby blanket and I was alone with my daughter for the very first time since giving birth. I looked at this tiny, wiggly thing. I truly looked without the comforting haze of grief and saw her dark brown eyes sparkle as she stared into my face.

It was her first toothless smile that finally brought me out of the mental and physical paralyzation that I'd enshrouded myself in shortly after Stefan's death. All my baby had to do was smile. It was a quiet moment between us. She just stared and smiled at me, and I saw love there.

That's when I finally woke up to realize I had to be the mother she needed me to be.

Now, with baby monitor in hand, I'm standing in the doorway to Stefan's study, staring inside, unsure if I should enter. I'd stayed away from his sanctuary since returning home from the hospital. This is the first time I've opened the door since then.

My heart stops as I again find myself still shocked that I won't hear his voice anymore, that I won't feel him beside me anymore, that he won't ask to give me a penny for my thoughts anymore.

I bite back a sob. I still can't get over that he is gone. I knew to expect it, but certainly not in this way. Not in a way that is so… final.

Stefan's lawyer, the executor of his will, and Jake are supposed to come by today. They asked to use this room since so many of the items in the will were in here. This is why I'm standing here, staring into Stefan's den. I don't want my first time back in his study, with his things, his scent, and all of the good memories I have of him, overwhelming me in front of such an audience. I'd come so far already, learning to love my daughter even though the simple sight of her reminds me of the wonderful husband I'd come to love and so suddenly lost.

In a few hours, I know that Felicia will be here with my brother. They, along with Embry who's been working in Seattle and has come less frequently, have been regular visitors, making sure I don't fall into an even deeper depression.

I appreciate their company, and I know that they probably don't realize how much I need them around me. I know that I should talk to them, but I can't seem to find my voice. It is lost… with Stefan… except at night.

In the quiet of the nursery at twilight, I whisper to my daughter as I hear my visitors' hushed voices compare me to a ghost roaming the halls of this house. A nurse comes to visit too, to check me for postpartum depression. Stefan spared no expense in my prenatal and postnatal care.

If I wasn't so sad, I'd laugh at their incessant worry.

I gulp and make a tentative movement that brings me inside, the plush, dark carpeting, as green as his eyes, feels thick and soft underfoot.

I give a small cry as Stefan's woodsy smell overwhelms me, so different from the fresh ocean scent of Embry. Both distinct. Each fitting their owner.

I walk to his desk that sits in front of the picture window that frames the calm of the LaPush forest. I move his desk chair aside, making room for myself behind his mahogany desk. I sink into the leather and cup my face in my hands with my elbows propped against the blotter on his desktop. I notice a leather bound journal sitting askew on top of his desk. Something sticks out of it and it bothers me. I reach out to right it. My fingers land on the heavy cream paper and I quickly realize it is a sealed envelope.

I pull it from the journal to find Stefan's crisp printing:

_**~ • LEAH • ~**_

My heart starts beating faster.

A letter.

_For me._

I push my fingernail under the flap, feeling the rich parchment under my fingertips. I unfold the letter and begin to read.

_**My Dearest Leah,**_

_**If you are reading this, then I know my findings are correct.  
I've left you, my darling, and for this, I am utterly sorry.**_

_**Chenoa tells me to expect a girl.  
A daughter!  
I desperately wish I were with you to share our combined joy.  
I imagine she is as beautiful as you.**_

_**Please don't cry anymore.  
I know this is something I can't make you promise to do,  
but I hope for it regardless.**_

I wipe a tear as it slides down the side of my cheek. My silent weeping surprises me. I'd only hours before felt as though I couldn't possibly shed another tear.

_**Our story was foretold, Leah  
Perhaps you will hate me for this,  
I hope that in time you will forgive me for keeping this from you.**_

_**I knew all along that our daughter's birth would mean my passing from this earth. **_

_**I can tell you the truth of it now,  
because you and our daughter are safe and sound.  
I am also hopeful that Embry has found his way back to you.**_

_**If he has taken my heed, tell him I've told you the truth.  
Tell him you know.  
Tell him he no longer has to keep the secret from you.**_

_**Go on to live your lives openly and honestly.  
No more secrets.**_

_**Let him off the hook as he has done so many times for you.  
Do not be angry at him.**_

_**I pray you won't be angry with me for long.**_

_**But Leah... **_

_**You knew I would go to her…  
as I knew you would go to him…**_

_**Eventually.**_

His words vaguely remind me of a terrible night being held in the comfort of Chenoa's arms, crying for a love denied.

_. _

_**Before I ever met you,  
I knew Elisheva would make me live to regret having scorned her. **_

_**Above all, she desired for me to have empathy for her,  
to know how she felt with my refusal to forgive her.**_

_**She wanted me to feel how she felt to have dreamt of such a bright future,  
only to have it snatched away because of someone else's choice.**_

_**Now I know.**_

_**I knew and still do know how much she loved me.  
Now I understand how much it hurt her to be powerless.**_

_**From the moment I met you, Leah, Elisheva held all the cards.  
She knew I would fall in love with you.  
How could I not?**_

_**But from the start,  
I knew I could do nothing but work with the hand I was dealt.  
Perhaps you will never know the depth of love I held for you.**_

_**But I do, love you, Leah. **_

_**I never intended to fall so deep with you, but I did.  
I could have happily forgotten this prophecy and gone on to have a happy,  
albeit childless future with you.**_

_**But that would have been wrong.**_

_**I made you a promise, one I swore to myself that I would keep. **_

_**So, waste no more time weeping for me.  
I am with you and I always will be.**_

_**Our time is past. **_

I nod at reading these words, exactly what I need to hear from him to assuage the overwhelming guilt of desperately desiring the arms of another man when my husband is only weeks in his grave.

_**Love him, Leah.  
Love him like you always meant to love him.  
I have come to know him, your Embry.**_

_**He is a good man, a patient man.  
I know that the love I have for you, while immense,  
is only a fraction of the love that Embry holds for you.**_

_**Take care of our little girl, Leah.**_

_**Teach her to be as strong as you.**_

_**You asked me once what I would call a daughter.  
I couldn't answer then, but now I can.  
I would call her Elise, short for Elisha.**_

_**If you are still wondering,  
know that I'd like that very much. **_

I think of the name he'd called out in his nightmare the year I'd found out I could help heal him. I know why he asks for the name and I feel no upset. I am happy to call her, our baby this. Our child looks like me and only me, not a smidgen of Stefan's Nordic coloring.

I wonder at my little girl, all mine. I already love her so much. I wonder if she'll be as much a spitfire as her namesake was.

I smile genuinely at this.

_**Give her a good surname, too, I never had one that I didn't falsify.  
Call her Clearwater or…  
if Embry will have her, tell him I'd be honored if he gave her his name.**_

_**I know he will love her, too.**_

_**Cry no more, my Leah.**_

_**Be with the one your heart has chosen. **_

_**Promise me that you will do your utmost to be happy.**_

_**Know this…**_

_**You are strong. **_

_**You matter.**_

_**You deserve every joy. **_

_**Show our daughter the truth of this.  
Be the woman I know you to be, then you will be the mother for her.**_

_**Cease your weeping.  
Know you deserve your happily ever after.**_

_**Live it.**_

_**With all my love,  
Stefan**_

I drop the letter into my lap and gaze at the photo on Stefan's desk. It is one of my favorites of the both of us together, framed by the backwoods of my apartment in New Hampshire. I reach out to run a fingertip against his smiling face.

So happy.

So loved.

I think back to the words of his letter:

_I made you a promise, one I swore to myself that I would keep. _

_So, waste no more time weeping for me. _

_I am with you and I always will be...._

_You knew I would go to her as I knew you would go to him._

_Love him, Leah. _

_Love him like you always meant to…_

_Take care of our girl…._

_I know he will love her, too..._

_Know you deserve your happily ever after. _

_Live it._

"Stefan, I loved you too," I whisper quietly. "Our daughter is more than offspring from a foretold mating, she was made with love. I promise to raise her so that she will know this, all the days of her life. I promise this to you."

I stare at the frame beside the phone. I look at the keypad thoughtfully.

I slowly lift the receiver and dial, listening to the rings.

"Hello?"

"Mom?" I croak into the receiver, my voice long unused.

I don't know why, but I'd expected Seth.

"Leah?" I hear her quiet, incredulous whisper. "Oh, Leah, honey?! Is that really you? I… we… we've been so worried about you."

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry… I think I finally snapped out of it."

I hear her make a hysterical sound of relief, muffled by the hand over the receiver.

I've run out of words.

"It's ok, hon. I… I know what it's like to lose a beloved husband. We each mourn in our own way."

"I found a letter from Stefan… he... I… I should have talked to you sooner…"

She shushes me and tells me she was happy just to hold me and help me through it.

I smile a little smile.

"Is there anything you want me to do for you now, Leah? Do you want me to come over?"

I nod, even though she can't see.

"Yes, mom, actually there is…" I breathe in a little. "I… I don't know how to reach Embry. Will you… will you call him for me, Mom? And will you come over and wait for him with me? There is a lot for me to say and do…"

"Sure, honey. Of course. I'll be there soon."

I hear a cry come from the chair where I'd put the baby monitor. I say a quick goodbye to my mom, heading to the baby's room upstairs.

Our baby…

My baby…

Elisha.

_Elise._

Yes, that's perfect.

* * *

_**Despite Imperfection  
POV: Embry**_

_

* * *

_

From the hall, I glance into the room. Leah is sitting on the twin bed she'd had moved here from the guest room. Her back is against the headboard, her denim-clad legs bent, reading something in her lap. Her thick, straight black hair a curtain, hiding her profile from me.

I remember another day, completely different. She'd been lying on green protecting her shapely backside from the sand. I'd watched her basking in sunlight, heard her speaking sassy words, and hiding behind big sunglasses.

A day so long ago.

So different.

I make my way closer, knocking on the doorframe. She turns to face me, a quiet smile on her face.

"Hi, Embry," she says in a voice that I haven't heard in so very long. "I… I hoped you'd come."

I stop in my tracks, suddenly noticing what she's wearing and a smile spreads across my face.

"You still have them? After all this time?"

She smiles quietly at me. When I return it, her eyes shift shyly downward, watching her own fingers pluck at the hem.

I take a step closer, catching a whiff of her unique scent.

She glances up, then, looking at me. I move to touch the pendant at her neck with a fingertip and I lovingly stroke the t-shirt jersey at her shoulder. It's a faded sage, now, with a few nicks at the edges of the hems

"They were all I had left of you," she breathes.

"Oh, Leah."

She holds an arm out toward me.

"Embry, please come closer," she pleads.

I step closer, dropping to my knees at her bedside.

"Leah."

"I love you, Embry."

I gasp a little. My hands stills.

She pulls at me to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. I lower my torso to touch my forehead to hers and gather her close.

"I've always loved you, Embry."

I feel her palm against my cheek.

"I've loved you from the very moment you let me cry on your shoulder that night after that vampire fight. I loved you when you played a male cinderella at every shoe store to get Jake a placating gift. I loved you when you jumped off a cliff to follow me to the beach…"

I hear her sultry chuckle at the memory of my whining at the mall as well as my less than elegant leap off the cliff. I close my eyes and groan my embarrassment.

"I loved you when you teased me, making me ache all over in my want to kiss you and you… you walked away! I knew I loved you when you kissed me on Jacob Black's porch, after you roared at me about smelling up this shirt.

She plucks the front of the goGreen. I breathe in the scent of her, listening to her speak words I've longed to hear. I lift my hand to cradle the nape of her neck. I feel her nose against mine, her lips tantalizingly close.

"I loved you when you helped me back to my house after I got rip-roaring drunk. I loved hearing you tell me you loved me that night…"

At my surprised gasp, she immediately shifts to fully capture my gaze.

She knew.

Her lip twitches.

Her eyes, happy.

"I knew then that I loved you, but didn't deserve you yet. You let me go and I loved you for that. I love that you call me _Buttercup_ because no one else bothers to find out that part of me, the part I buried after Sam ditched me for Emily. But you saw it, you didn't make fun of it, you helped me to embrace it. I love you for trying to get me to understand your version of what happens to us when we imprint. I love you for that belief. I love you for understanding about Stefan. I know that couldn't have been easy for you to live through. I know. Believe me, I know. I want to believe I'd be as strong as you… if I had been in your place…If you ever im-…"

I shake my head and place my fingers on her lips to stop her from saying the word.

"Embry, I love you for fulfilling your promises to me… about being _that_ man. I would never have believed myself worthy of the love you have for me had it not been for Stefan to show me that I can be strong enough to stand on my own. I needed him for that, to know I'm whole without you… without him.

I hold her close.

"I'm sorry you lost Stefan, Leah. I really am. I know you were happy, that you loved him…"

She grips me tighter before she continues.

"Yes, but Stefan and I knew we wouldn't be together for long… We knew, Embry. I couldn't bear to have you waiting in the wings for that time, though. You needed to live your life, too. i couldn't have you stand by and watch us create this little family, I know how it would have killed me if the tables were turned. It's just that… I didn't know until this morning… that Stefan knew the whole time _how_ he was going to leave me when the baby came."

I let out a breath of relief. Thank god, Stefan told her. Thank god!

She pulls back now, to look at me, her hands still at my shoulders.

"I'm ready now, Embry. I'm ready for an equal partner in love, in life. You always believed in me and I am so very sorry that it took me this long to believe in myself. I'm sorry that I didn't believe as strongly as you did that what you and I can be together. I'm ready if you'll still have me."

I take in her words, the sincere look of love and vulnerability in her face and I catch her to me. The scent of her wafts around me. The feel of her against me…

… a homecoming.

"You know, Leah, I can't read your mind. I'm no good at mind-reading - unless we're both wolves. But, even then, you will have to talk to me and tell me how you feel, what you want. You'll have to accept that I won't always tell you what you want to hear, or always agree with what you want to do."

I pull her away from me a little, and move my hand to tilt her chin up so our eyes meet.

"And Leah, I'll only buy you fair trade chocolate. I'm sorry that it doesn't always taste as good," I smile as she gives me a silly grin, rolling her eyeballs. "But if you love truly love me, you will love me despite my imperfections. I chose you, Leah Clearwater, a long time ago. I choose you still."

She says nothing in response right away. She pulls herself back into my arms and she kisses me in a way that steals my breath away. We don't attack one another in our lovemaking as you might think we would after so long apart. Instead, we take our time as though exploring an exotic land we'd once discovered as a younger couple, only to find that our memories haven't done this place and its beauty enough justice.

We only let up for air.

"And I choose you Embry Call. Thank you for loving me despite all the things that often times make me unloveable," she says hugging me to her. "Stefan was right," I feel her breath ruffling the material at my chest, "You are the better man for me. No secrets, Embry. Just you and me. In his letter Stefan told me _everything_. He told me to claim my joy, to go out and live my happily ever after… with _you_."

I smile against the top of her head and drag her back up against my now prone body. How I've longed for this moment to be reality.

At last I feel like a man in my own right, one deserving of the woman she now is, the woman she sees herself to be - exactly the one I'd _always_ seen in her. I think of Stefan and how much he helped Leah find this new self-confidence. I am sorry it couldn't have been me, but perhaps that is the reason she had to be with _him_ first.

At last she sees herself the way I see her, the way I've always seen her, a strong, determined, woman of her own accord.

"Well thank god for Stefan, then," I say with a smile. "I hope he found what he was looking for, too."

This time I kiss her and we begin our dance, again, so familiar, now aged to a fine maturity.

The feel of her brings me back to life as her every touch reminds me what it was like to love her this way. How it had been then, and will always now be... only the two of us in the world when we are like this together.

We partake of each other, showing one another how much we feel for one another through our most intimate caresses and our impassioned cries.

It is like no other time, yet it is as loving and breathtakingly amazing as our first time together.

Oh, how I've missed her in my arms, in my bed, in my life.

As we come down from the impossible high of reaching the peak together she whispers against my bare chest.

"It should have been you the entire time, Embry. I wish it had always been _just_ you."

"You would not be the woman you are now without your experience with Stefan and the love he showed you," I say meaningfully. "I would not the man I am today if I had not known him and taken up the challenge he laid at my feet. He told me to fight for you, Leah. At every turn when I was about to give up, he always reminded me what I would lose if I turned away."

"Still…" she says quietly, "it would have been a better story if it was always just you for me."

I laugh a little.

"How mind-numbingly boring would that be?" I ask with a chuckle, "besides, it doesn't matter who came in-between, Leah, what's most important is that we've come full circle. You were my first, you know, the only woman I'd every made love to."

She pulls herself up, with some effort, her curves softened by pregnancy, and impossibly even more beautiful than I'd ever remembered.

"It was never just sex with you, Leah. You were my first, too. Now, you and I will be the last for each other. _That's_ what's most important."

I feel her smile against my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head as we both drift off to sleep.

* * *

**Later that evening…**

_After the reading of Stefan's last will and testament, Leah discovers she's now the mother of a trustfund baby and perhaps as rich as those vampires Bella used to run with.  
__POV: Embry_

_

* * *

_

Holy crap! Stefan left a huge chunk of change in my care, saying I am the one to call the shots on how to invest the money to meet the needs of the families living on the reservation. I supersede even the Elders and Sam because of this. Financially, Stefan's made me alpha here in LaPush, leader of the pack. He also included a nice lump sum as an investment in my company, just so long as I stay with and continue to love Leah.

Fucking amazing!

I take back every spiteful thing I ever thought of him… except maybe the whole Capt. PeePee pants thing… because, well, it reminds me of my immature, arrogant youth.

_After all, we must remember our own history otherwise we're destined to repeat it._

Leah is now so well off, she will never have to step into another place of employ again. My guess, though, is that Leah will probably use this immense cushion to allow herself time to raise her daughter. To be truly happy, though, I know she'll want to be back in the heat of fashion circles as soon as is physically possible. Felicia, I'm sure, will keep GirlieWolf Designs in the thick of things.

I am in Leah's living room. Everyone's gone and it is quiet except for the happy baby noises coming from the opposite end of the sofa.

Leah is sitting up, amongst a plethora of pillows that assist her in holding the baby as she nurses. She's watching me sip wine as I sit and watch her with the baby in her arms.

"That's cruel, you do know that, right?" she asks, eyeing my glass. "Drinking alcohol in the presence of a breastfeeding woman is extremely heartless and cruel."

"You want a taste," I ask, flirting. "Kiss me, Leah." I scoot closer, throw an arm around her shoulders and blow a little at her nose.

She smirks and lifts an eyebrow. I know that look…So, I brace myself for it.

"So, have you imprinted yet, Embry?"

"No," I say mock menacingly, quelling the burst of annoyance at her words. "You're such a shit, Leah."

As she opens her lips to speak again, I quickly place my hand over her mouth and with a playful glare send her an unspoken command to just shut it.

"I have something to say to you, Clearwater, so hush up."

I continue as her eyes dance merrily above my hand still clasped on her mouth.

"No, Leah, you royal pain in the ass, I have _not_ imprinted. And I don't plan on leaving your side long enough to find anyone other than you, anyway, so you can just quit your bellyaching. With that being said, and before you can get to your next lame-ass line, I promise to make your life amazingly easier and extremely happier because I have finally made my choice…"

With one arm, I gather her close to me, and gently cup the nursing baby's head in my hand. I kiss the tip of Leah's nose and say, "I choose you, Leah Clearwater…" I look to the baby who is eyeing me curiously, "…_both_ of you."

I see the the glistening in her eyes and the worry as soon as it enters her mind.

"…But what if you imprint, Embry?"

I shoot her a murderous look.

"But Leah... but what if I _never_ do? We can't live our lives based on _what ifs_. Look at where that's gotten us. Just trust love, Leah. I've finally learned to trust in it, thanks to Stefan. It's because of that trust that I'm here with you now. It's why I've always been here...

for you...

I love you, Buttercup."

She's beaming up at me and covering my hand that's holding the baby's head with her own.

"Good answer," she says teasingly. "It's about time."

It's my turn to smirk, and I give her a teasing pinch at her side.

"About time, my ass. _You_ were the one playing house with someone else all this time."

She looks at me quickly to gauge the hurt. Surprisingly I feel none and in seeing this, Leah wipes off my smirk by taking her free hand to wrap her fingers around my shirtfront, dragging me up against her, my faces millimeters away.

"You smell like expensive wine, Embry," she says seductively. "I think I will have that taste after all."

Her lips meet mine and I am transported back in time. She takes her sweet time tasting the wine's robust bouquet on my tongue. Her hand first tightens and then releases its death grip on my shirt. I feel her fingers curl into my hair, pulling me closer, I lean toward her, careful of the child between us.

I see a tear fall as she pulls away slightly only to whisper against my ear, "I love you, Embry Call, more than you will ever know."

I nuzzle my nose with hers. She smiles beguilingly and I find myself needing to ask.

"So, Leah," I whisper against her lips, "what is this thing that Stefan asked me to ask you about?"

"What are you talking about, Embry?" she asks, slightly dazed.

"He said to ask you something about the _power of the thrall_?"

I watch her smile knowingly as she sends me a playful wink.

"Well, Embry, that's not for right now, not in front of Elise, anyway."

The next kiss we share promises forever while the baby between us grabs hold of the rolled shirtsleeve at my wrist.

Baby Elise gurgles happily when she sees the smiles on Leah's and my faces.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_** _I will be posting the epilogue on Thanksgiving... There is much to be thankful for. As the author, I wish to thank you all for the wonderfully entertaining reviews! I promise to show you just how grateful I am to those who have provided me with regular feedback through the writing of this story. Thanks to you, I am now quite proud of (though I've had my moments of doubt) this endeavor... Enjoy your week preparing for my very favorite holiday! ~Foggybythebay_


	41. Epilogue: In the End, Love

**Epilogue: In the End, Love**

_**POV: Elisha "Elise" Clearwater-Call**_

_

* * *

_

~ * ~

Certain things catch your eye,

But pursue only those

that capture your heart.

_-ancient Native American saying_

~ * ~

Mommy made me put on this princess dress even though I'd rather be wearing my comfy, blue jeans and playing with Eva, Uncle Jake and Auntie Bella's daughter. But Eva is holding my hand, now, pulling me forward.

I want to be just like her when I'm bigger. She's very tall, grown up, and knows exactly what to do. She's a junior bridesmaid. I'm a flower girl and we're both wearing scratchy princess dresses. Like me, she has lots of yellow flowers in her dark hair. She carries a bunch in her hand, while I carry a basketful of tiny yellow petals.

Daddy tells me to sprinkle the pretty petals all over the white carpet for Mommy so she can walk on them and make the air smell pretty... just like her.

I know my daddy doesn't want a wedding. I heard him tell Mommy three nights ago, and every night since. They talk in the hallway outside of my room when they think I'm finally asleep.

I'm tricky because they never know I'm awake to hear them.

"Nothing good ever happens to me at weddings, Leah," he says in his deep, _I'm not happy about this at all_ daddy voice, "Can't we just go to Vegas?"

"Embry, I want to have a _real_ wedding with you. Please. A wedding on the cliffs."

That's what my mommy says using _that_ voice. When she uses _that_ voice, Daddy usually lets her have what she wants.

_When I grow up, I'm going to learn how to use **that** voice, too!_

Then I hear her whisper, "Last time it was in a church. Please, Embry, I want to get married on the cliffs with _you_."

And then he sighs a big sigh and grumbles, "Well, at least I don't have to dive!"

And then Mommy laughs a really big laugh.

They do this every night before they say, "I love you." That always makes me smile.

Then Daddy says some words I don't understand, something about _man handles_.

Anyway, I think Vegas sounds fun, too. Wolfe says there's pretty girls in Vegas, that there's lots of lights, and fun places to go gambling. Wolfe is Eva's big brother and I think I love him. I don't know what _gambling_ is because they don't teach us that in kindergarten. I tried asking once, but my teacher frowned at me in a very mean way, and I didn't want to ask again.

So, I ask Eva about it and she says Wolfe is naughty and told me not to listen to him, that weddings are not terrible, and that my daddy will be just fine.

The sun is out today. Everyone was worried it would rain.

"It is Washington after all! The cliffs?! Of all the _asinine_-" Uncle Jake bellowed yesterday with a funny sounding sniff. He tweaked my nose when he noticed I'd been watching and listening. "Your mom, little Elise… she just likes living on the edge."

In the brightness of today, I look at Daddy standing near the edge of the cliff. The sun is just starting to set behind him. I hear the roar of the waves crashing below. I've watched Mommy dive from here before. But Daddy and I usually stay far, far away from the edge. Now they want me to walk toward the edge that they always tell me to stay away from!?!

I gulp.

Nurse Ariana is waving at me as I pass. She is the visiting nurse from the hospital who took care of my mommy when she came home with me when I was just a baby. Mommy was very sad because… that was also when my father died. With a smile I notice that Ariana seems to have a hard time ripping her eyes away from Uncle Jake.

I look at Uncle Jake standing next to Daddy. Both of them are a really, really long way away. My legs are wobbly because everyone is watching me and smiling… big toothy smiles. There are a lot of fashion models and fashion designers here, too. All of my uncles, the ones Daddy calls his wolfpack, keep looking their way. I know most of the women here because I get to stay backstage during the fashion shows as long as I behave. They're all really nice and they sure know a lot about my mom's love life!

I see Hayley, she's a sock model. She's wearing some cute ones today. Nikki keeps staring up at my Uncle Jake. In fact, the models can't stop looking at Daddy and his best man. Among them, I see Patty, Geenie, Ingrid "Izzy", Zoe, Raven, Katie and Nikki. I remember Mommy talking to these women when they came to a party at our house a few months ago. She was telling them the story of how Aunt Bella and Uncle Jake learned that they loved one another. I remember Zoe laughing and saying, "All I'm saying is, if _he_ kissed _me_, I wouldn't punch him in the face!"

All of the ladies laughed and toasted their glasses in wholehearted agreement.

_I suppose I wouldn't punch Uncle Jake, either. He kisses my cheek all of the time!_

Aunt Bella, next to Aunt Felicia, doesn't look very pleased that all the pretty ladies are ogling Uncle Jake. I stifle a giggle because I notice Uncle Jake preening a little. He looks very proud and handsome. Good thing Aunt Bella's friend, JoeBob is sitting in viewing distance to her. JoeBob can always remind Aunt Bella that some very handsome men must have looked at her _all of the time_, too!

I keep my eyes trained on my Aunt Felicia, who is motioning for me to keep walking. She's very, very pretty. I like her because she doesn't pinch my cheeks. She treats me like a big kid, and she always knows exactly what I want.

I also know her secret! She likes my Uncle Seth. I saw them kissing once.

_That's sort of gross!_

I know lots of secrets, actually. I have a very special one that I'm not supposed to talk about. I know that I'm going to have a baby brother soon… before my next birthday! And I'm usually right about these things. Whenever I say something that comes true later, my Granny Chenoa announces to everyone in the room that I have_ the gift of sight_. I don't understand what she means. How can _sight_ be a _gift_ since everyone I know can see? That doesn't make me very special at all! Everyone I know can _see_!

Anyway, Mommy laughed yesterday when I told her what I thought about Granny Chenoa and my gift. Later, when I whispered the secret about my baby brother in her ear, though, she smiled a funny smile, put a finger to my mouth, and whispered, "_Shhh!_" She hugged me close and told me not to tell anyone yet, that it was still too soon to tell. She even made me cross my heart as she pulled the seatbelt across my lap.

_By the way, I'm in a booster seat and not a baby seat any more!_

I stop thinking about all the secrets in my head and concentrate on getting to where I'm supposed to be.

I see a lot of people from overseas waving at me as I make my way down the aisle. I see Rima who is a dancer and an architect from Amsterdam who knows my uncles, I don't know how she does, but she seems pretty pleased with the view of the groomsmen in front of her. Cat is so very cool, and Julieanne Arc is here, too. Both hail from Australia and seem just as riveted as Rima. Even Jada is here. She makes me laugh because she always gives Daddy a hard time, muttering that he's so immature sometimes.

_I don't know what immature means. I'll have to remember to ask her at the reception._

With each step, I look down both sides of my dress to make sure that I've sprinkled flower petals all around before I step forward again. I have one job, and Mommy says I should do it well. I see I missed a spot. I wave my hand, like I just learned I could do, and a bit of wind scatters the petals to evenly cover the white carpet. I'm pretty good at making sure all the spots are getting covered. Only, just once, I forget to sprinkle because when I look up, I see a little boy, my age, staring at me and it's all his fault that I forget because he won't stop staring!

I keep my gaze on him as I finally reach where I'm supposed to be, at my Aunt Felicia's side, up front, next to the trellis arch that they put up for my parents to stand under. The boy hasn't stopped looking at me. He has eyes the color of the forest and hair color, like Aunt Felicia's. I've never seen him before. He's standing next to my Granny Chenoa and a lady that comes to visit her sometimes when I stay with her. I think her name is, Aylen. The boy doesn't look at all like her, but the man beside her might be his daddy.

I tilt my head as I examine the blond man. If I squint my eyes a little and look at him in a certain way, he sort of looks like a picture of Father that Mommy gave me. People say I don't look a thing like my father, that I'm the spitting image of my mother.

_What does that mean, anyway? Spitting is disgusting!_

My father was Aunt Felicia's twin. He went to heaven, just like my granddad, so _that_ man next to the little boy can't be _him_.

I am distracted from my thoughts when the music changes. I watch Mommy come up the aisle. I'm proud I look like her because she is very beautiful. Uncle Seth has his arm crooked so Mommy can hold on to him. It looks a little funny because she keeps gripping him, like she's going to topple over any minute. I don't know why she's crying. She should be happy! Today she's getting married to Daddy!

I frown and notice the little boy frowning, too. I wrinkle my nose and he wrinkles his nose, too. I giggle behind my hand and he giggles, too. I wriggle my index finger twice against my basket handle and watch the boy's tie do a little dance, surprising him enough to leave his mouth hanging in a big "O."

I giggle again. He frowns. I narrow my eyes at him and suddenly I hear what can only be the little boy's voice in my head.

_"That's **not** funny."_

I stare at him with big saucer-like eyes and he's smiling at me in that smarty-pants sort of way.

I see the man with the blond hair look at the both of us interacting. I watch him bend down. I can hear what he says without trying too hard.

"Stevie, stop that!"

At the reprimand, I watch Stevie try to be good. He stands up straight and everything. I mimic him by standing up straight, too. He frowns at me. I turn away and pay attention to what's happening with my parents. I sigh happily as Mommy finally makes it to the top, next to my dad.

The bald man with the loud voice, who is in charge of the ceremony, says lots of pretty words that I don't understand. But this all takes a really long time and my legs want to move because they've been still too long. To keep from fidgeting, I look out to the audience, distracting myself. I try to identify some of the guests.

_Oh, there's one of my mommy's close friends, Kei Kat and she's wearing a beautiful emerald green dress!_

She brought her two-year old niece who is in a dress as fluffy as mine! I see her best friend from Canada who has been trying to teach me French while they've been staying with us. All three love Uncle Jake, almost more than me. Kei even dragged her sister, who's holding a big book that has a black cover, to the ceremony. Kei's sister keeps softly asking her why they've come to Mommy and Daddy's wedding, saying she'd much rather be at the wedding of some other man named, Harry Potter.

"Sis, read _that_ and you'll know all about my friend, Leah. Maybe when you're done, you'll understand that she's not a minor _anything_," Kei whispers patiently back at her, motioning at the book in her sister's hand. Kei also suggests that she keep her eyes on all of my uncles and mommy's gorgeous designer wedding gown. Kei waves at me. I smile and wave back at her. Her sister points at me and mouthes, "Who is she?!" Kei, shakes her head at her and says exasperated, "Just read the book, then I'll tell you about the little flower girl!"

I see Davii who works with Mommy and Aunt Felcia at GirlieWolf. He's the one who's in charge of managing all of their international fashion shoots. He knew my father and told me once that he thought my father was a very good man. Davii met him at a dig in a small California town and my father introduced him to Aunt Felicia. That's how he met Mommy.

Zuxy Q. is a designer who Mommy knows from school. Zuxy is from Mexico and was friends with Mommy and Daddy when She and Mom were in college. She once yelled at my mommy for choosing my father, Stefan, first. Zuxy stayed friends with Daddy when Mommy was with Father. She'd tried to get Daddy to see reason, telling him that he deserved more than the way my mom was treating him. But then, she started working with Mommy later on in life when Mommy was married to Father. Mommy blurted out her whole story over too much drink and though Zuxy understands that it's all finally worked out, she still worries for Daddy. I heard her once tell him that he needed to grow a spine where Mommy is concerned.

_I don't know what __**that**__ means, but I am just five years old, after all. I heard Daddy once tell Uncle Jake he sometimes had to agree with Zuxy, though._

Besides Ariana and Kei, Hilja is a close friend of my mommy's from before when Father was alive and is also one of the people Mommy goes to when she needs to talk about my father to someone. Amena is my father's friend. She worked with him during a lot of his digs. She told me that she started really getting to know Mommy when I was still in her belly and Father started getting very sick. Father's lawyer, Beauty, from New York is here, too, she's gotten to know Mommy and Daddy very well since she's in charge of a lot of things that used to be my Father's.

Tashay is Daddy's friend from an MBA program in Texas. Rakikel from Brazil is my daddy's friend from when he was in the environmental program. She knows my Granny Chenoa, too. I think Dee knows Daddy somehow, but for sure she's Aunt Rachel's best friend. Dee's looking at Daddy funny, in a way I don't really like. On the other hand, Uncle Seth can't seem to decide who to rest his eyes on, Dee _or_ Aunt Felicia. Aunt Felicia's not looking very happy about that either.

As I'm thinking about this, someone grabs my hand and suddenly I'm pulled between my parents.

Daddy holds Mommy's hand and then he takes mine before he says, "Leah, I am ready to take the leap today. I choose you to be my wife, and you, Elisha, as my daughter. I promise to love you both through good times and bad, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout all the seasons of our life together."

And then Mommy, who is _still_ crying, says, "Embry, I am ready to dive into our life together. I choose you to be my husband. I promise to love you through good times and bad, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you for as long as we both shall live. I love you for the love you show Elisha and me every day."

Uncle Jake gives Daddy the pretty ring he showed me yesterday and he puts it on Mommy's finger. She does the same thing to him. They both put a very pretty matching bracelet around my wrist. Now they are both crying. They start crying even harder when I whisper at them to stop crying.

I shake my head.

_Silly… both of them. They're supposed to be happy!_

Aunt Felicia draws me beside her and I tug at her dress. She bends down.

"Why are they so sad?" I ask her, perplexed. "Is Daddy right? Is this the something bad that is happening to him at _this_ wedding?"

"No, Elisha, darling," Aunt Felicia replies with a watery smile, "they're very, very happy. Look they're kissing, now! See how happy they are?"

I nod, but my attention is caught by the blond boy who's now sticking his tongue out at me.

_Hey! I didn't do anything! Well, not really!_

I squint my eyes at him and scowl.

_Just you wait,_ I think, planning my revenge.

When it's finally my turn to go back down the aisle, I stop in front of Stevie. He smiles at me as he approaches the center aisle.

Good thing I'm last to go down, because no one really notices what I'm doing, except Eva.

Granny Chenoa smiles at me. I smile at her, and then I promptly kick Stevie in the shins. He lets out a yelp and tries to kick me back. I see his dad grab his collar. Eva grabs hold of me by the waist, but I'm still swinging at him. I'm swinging so hard that the flowers fall out of my hair. Eva half carries me to my parents.

"I hate _that_ boy," I whisper into Eva's ear. I'm hugging her madly, crying now, too.

"Oh, Elise, you don't even _know_ him." Eva turns and we both watch the little blond boy pick up one of the little yellow posies that fell from my hair. I feel her smile against my neck as we both watch him look both ways before bringing it up to his nose, then carefully place it in his shirt pocket.

Something funny twists in my chest.

"I don't think he hates _you_, Elise," Eva says quietly, patting my back and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. She stops abruptly and I turn, finding myself being lifted into my daddy's arms.

"Time for pictures with my two beautiful girls," he says happily, his other arm around my mommy's waist. He turns to me and says, "Did you know, Elise, that this is _the_ best wedding I've ever been to?!"

My tears swiftly turn into smiles as I look into their joyful faces.

"It sure beats Vegas!" I announce happily. Everyone stops and stares at me in shocked silence, and then they burst into loud laughter, like I'd made the funniest joke ever!

From my perch on Daddy's arm, I catch the little boy's green gaze.

I stick my tongue out at him.

To my great surprise, I hear Stevie's voice in my head again.

"_Best not to do that, Elise, your face might freeze that way._"

I laugh because Mommy tells me this all of the time. I see the twinkle in Stevie's eye as he winks and smiles back at me.

"_I'm sorry about teasing you before. __Let's play when you're done, 'kay?_"

I nod at him, offering forgiveness as quickly as most five year olds do. I then turn to follow the photographer's directions.

As I smile, and smile, and smile between flashes of light, I keep a watchful eye on the blond boy who is sitting close by.

Stevie doesn't seem to notice my gaze because he's busy looking at the flower he's pulled out of his pocket...

just waiting for me to come and play.

* * *

Author's Note:

To all of you without first names attached to your lovely profiles, I have not forgotten you.

**fairy-tale romantic**, you're one of models. **Cuz of the Fame**, guess whose best friend you are?

**RachelxMichelle**, **Love3good**, **Psychokillerhoney** (even though your avatar and name freak me out! ;)), **NoMonstersNoMagic**, **LoveIt123**, **YourLastFirstLove**, **AllzStar**, **jadeesmjk**, **Brinkyfly45**, **Team Jacob Always**, **Fused twilight**, and **MsBookWorm7** I've counted you among the models making moon eyes at _both_ Jake and Embry.

**McLovin09**, **myfavoritewolf**, **Raybanlover**, your eyes are all for Jake, **TheRealSlytherinPrincess** and **mosa** **wildcat** your eyes are all for Embry,

**Shadowgrl** (who reminded me at chapter 3 to mark the story as unfinished!) and **meggels13** you're all prepared with the tissues, leading the models with the model-perfect, happy tears sort of crying and carrying on when Embry and Leah finally say their I do's (^_^)

**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR FANTASTIC SUPPORT OF THIS CALLWATER STORY…**

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the States.


End file.
